How And When To Ask Someone Out


Here is my second Take for this week's #BATTLEROYALE, which is about sex, dating and relationships. These tips were originally written for girls, but I adapted a few of them here for guys. Truth be told, I have written this before, but in Opinions, never in one place or as a myTake. So now, here it is for easy bookmarking and reference, all in one place.

Look for subtle signs of interest before initiating.

How And When To Ask Someone Out

For girls, I just wrote a myTake about this, check it out. Guys, see if she smiles, is open, but also if she seeks you out for conversation, or if she tries to get your attention when you might not particularly be seeking it. If you look at her and she returns your glances with a smile, it is a very good sign.

Make sure your target is available.

How And When To Ask Someone Out

Ask them what they did the previous weekend. Give them opportunities to mention a significant other. It is important to know whether the other person is available. Sometimes they'll speak of a nonexistent other just to make their disinterest known. If that happens, respect it and move on.

Break the Personal Space Barrier.

How And When To Ask Someone Out

If you are a girl approaching a guy, get closer to him than you would with someone you aren't into. Smile a lot when you talk. Nothing generates sexual energy quite like proximity.

Test the air to make sure she's comfortable with you.

How And When To Ask Someone Out

When a guy is nervous with a girl, he probably likes her. If a girl is nervous with a guy, she probably is uncomfortable with him. Approach each woman as though she perceives every strange new man as a potential rapist. If she seems nervous around you, back off. Be aloof; show less interest. Give her more opportunity to discover you for herself.

Say something nice

How And When To Ask Someone Out

"I like your tie" or "those are nice shoes," but not something physical, like "I like you smile" or "you have nice hair" See if he or she is receptive or creeped out before going further.

Tell him you appreciate his good qualities

"You're so funny" or "you're so sweet" etc. Respond to the things he does in honest ways but also ways that don't demand any response. If that works out well and doesn't freak him out...

Tell him you like him

Don't tell him you love him. Just let him know you appreciate him and that doesn't require any obligation on his part. If he's still smiling...

Look for common interests

Find some common activity you both enjoy and ask him to do things.

How And When To Ask Someone Out
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    "If a girl is nervous with a guy, she probably is uncomfortable with him. Approach each woman as though she perceives every strange new man as a potential rapist."

    This sounds absurd to me. Most girls I ended up dating were obviously nervous around me at first. I'm fairly attractive, though. Perhaps women react much differently to guys who are just average-looking.

    I ain't trying to humblebrag, which is why I've gone anon here.
    Is this still revelant?
    • brain5000

      You make a good point. Perhaps I should have distinguished between an "alarmed nervous" and an "excited nervous." #overgeneralization

Most Helpful Girl

  • Valkyrie1
    This is some nice, solid, advice anyone can follow. I like it.
    Is this still revelant?
    • HulkkSmash

      Don't lie to him. You're not helping him or anyone else by lying

    • Valkyrie1

      @HulkkSmash I'm not.

    • HulkkSmash

      Yeah okay

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

    I disagree. I strongly believe in the mathematical approach. The way I see it is that you should just ask as many attractive girls out as possible until one is bound to say yes. No matter what strategy we adopt, men are going to be at a disadvantage from the get-go so we need to be mathematical about it.
    • brain5000

      Starting a lot of relationships that can't possibly work is going to lead to two worlds of hurt.

    • Doyoueven

      You know he was just joking about getting rejected a lot right? "One is bound to say yeas"

    • brain5000

      @Doyoueven No, I don't know that. I wish I had said "it will lead to many worlds of hurt, including your own."

    • Show All
  • AriadneSky
    i'm nervous when i like a guy. which makes me uncomfortable but him backing off will make me more uncomfortable bc ill think being nervous turned him off. as long as he's not trying to fuck me he doesn't need to back off for me to be 'comfortable' :-)
  • DarkHumorRUs
    It's funny because if a guy does all this stuff to a girl she probably just thinks he's friendly.
    • Xyzg123

      Yeah I have had a guy do all these things to me when I thought he liked me at first. This gave me an aha moment way too late... Girls question and think about things too much for a guy she likes to be so timid. We're used to the guys we don't like coming up and being I our space, so when a guy we like doesn't do that, we're like whaaaatttt?

  • lazermazer
    I don't know what's up with people, are they taking this battle too seriously or what? . This is great take.
  • sattepesutta1
    steve buscemi is good looking as fuck till his eyes are visible LMFAOO
  • VictoryorDeath
    And if no attractive looking girl shows interest in you etc? That's when you should go for it anyway, one life, you should never accept average.
  • Spiorad_Aisce
    Nice take - Some good advice there for people.
  • pips11
    good advice you have there
  • NerdyBlackSheep
    everyone who did this still said no
  • HulkkSmash
    This is a horrible list.
  • Anonymous
    "When a guy is nervous with a girl, he probably likes her. If a girl is nervous with a guy, she probably is uncomfortable with him." can't agree with this.
  • Anonymous
    Didn't the guy in the first pic get killed by a shot gun?