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Is "Ghosting" the New Dating Nightmare? (Page 2)
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This happens the other way around a lot too. Guys are just as much victims of this as girls. Several girls have done this to me. At least two girls have left me and moved on without saying a word even. I've had a relatonship status change directly from in a relationship with me to a relationship with someone else.
Believe me this is the worst kind of breakup. I'd rather a breakup over text message. Or just something. To be left hanging is the worse.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's happened to me many times and I know how awful it is. Hugs.
@Njalek85 Hugs back. I would never do this to a girl. Then there's the people who are only there when they need you but as soon as you need them, they are no where to be found. I really don't understand why men and women just can't respect each other and get along and have loyal friendships and/or relationships. I've tried a bunch to reach across the aisle and do this, but get screwed over every time.
never had that problem. And I would never be that shallow to do this to anyone. Then again... if some one did ghost me ide love it because only then would I know they were full of shit , and they aren't wasting my time any more.
He selfish coward sorry that happen to you and if he dies give you a answer it will probably be nothing but lies.
Cowards. People hate to face up and take responsibility for their actions. It's much easier to tell a lie or just disappear than it is to be honest.
I just heard about "ghosting" recently in the past few days from this site. As far as I can tell "ghosting" is a communication breakdown.
Sometimes, accepting that you're weak and choosing alternative methods is a perfect way to stay healthy and happy.
There are things you can do to not be weak anymore though, and if you're hurting someone else, it isn't okay. Not facing your problems and running away from them instead is also far from healthy.
@aWes0MeNeSs I know hurting someone else is very bad, but hurting oneself is even worse.
You're hurting yourself by doing the wrong thing in the long run, and choosing to do things that are only temporary (if that) fixes. The easy way is never the best, or even right, way. Not facing your problems and running away from them will definitely end up hurting you in the end. That is not at all a good way to conduct your life.
Choosing to just stay weak and say "it's just the way it is" rather than trying to not be weak will definitely end up hurting you.
@aWes0MeNeSs haha you're right but life is not that fair as you think it is.
Eg: Politicians are enjoying by exploiting the nation and they're the most powerful and the richest people.
No, life isn't fair and I realize that. But that doesn't make it right to not at least try to be a fair person. Doing the right thing in life is rewarding, and actually trying to improve yourself by facing issues and dealing with them even if it intimidates you will male you a better person. There really isn't a good excuse for "ghosting" unless the other person is a full on dangerous stalker and refuses to leave you alone no matter what you say or do.
@aWes0MeNeSs if a guy just wanted sex, should he really confront her and tell her right away that "that's it!"? This would be so rude. In that case, ghosting helps. Plus, there are easy precautions from the things you mentioned like stalking, clinging or blackmailing etc.
Sure, playing is so selfish and a bad thing, but if you really chose to do it, as a lot do, ghosting should be your weapon of choice.
If a guy just wants sex, he should be upfront about it in the very beginning. It's much more rude to lead someone on or to make them think for even a minute that they might have a chance at something more. People need to start speaking up and quit being pansies about these things. If someone wants to just hook up, they need to make that clear rather than just leaving the other person hanging.
As far as precautions goes, you're actually probably less likely to be stalked if you let them know you're no longer interested in keeping the relationship going. Some people will still stalk anyways, but they'd stalk either way, really. The best thing to do for them is to file harassment charges and get a restraining order, and just try to ignore them as best as possible. But you don't need to completely drop someone and leave them hanging "just in case" they stalk you.
@aWes0MeNeSs yea.. People "should" do this and that, but look, we are guys. We don't get sex as easily as you do. If we'll be upfront about it, I doubt any guy would get it unless he's super dashing, rich or ridiculously talented/lucky.
Oh trust me, you could get it. It doesn't even matter if "you're guys, you don't get sex as easily", it still gives you no right to use and lead on people. There are plenty of girls on apps like Tinder that want to hook up.
@aWes0MeNeSs I didn't say that it gives us any "right". And apps like tinder isn't popular everywhere.
Well then don't defend it. And there are plenty of ways to get just sex, Tinder is just an example. Worst case scenario, you have to buy a blowup doll. But guys who use girls for sex and lead them on are not victims (I mean, if you're that sexually frustrated, just jerk yourself off or something) and nothing justifies that behavior.
@aWes0MeNeSs obviously. But this is not the topic we're talking about. We are discussing over how a player should ditch the girl. By ghosting or by just directly telling her.
Yeah, and obviously he should do the right thing, and preferably not "play" girls in the first place. The same goes for girls doing it to guys.
This isn't a really new thing. It's generally been the case that when getting IN to a relationship, guys have to be VERY active (e. g., asking the girl out, etc.) while girls could be relatively passive (just wait for the ask and respond positively). BUT the opposite tends to be true for getting OUT of a relationship. Girls generally need to be active (e. g., "we need to talk," "it's not working out," etc.) while guys can be more passive (just stop asking for and/or planning the next date).
It seems to be the default way a girl conveys that she's not interested now.
It is what it is. 4 months does not exactly scream wedding bells. That dating, it either works or doesn't
Yes, but it would be nice if the guy could at least say "Hey, this isn't working out", rather than being a pansy and trying to avoid confrontation.
@aWes0MeNeSs bah the reality' you're not that important for that... that's why (in his mind)
You might even do it to someone one day...
No, I know I wouldn't because it's not the mature or right way to handle things. I've broken up with both of my previous boyfriends by doing the hard, but right thing. Explaining to them that it wasn't working out and that it was over, as nicely as posdible. That is how adults handle things. If the girl isn't that important, why did he even waste his time in the first place? People really need to start speaking up on whether or not they want to just screw around for a little while or have actual relationships, and whether or not they are happy with it or want it to end. Running away from all of your problems because it's easier to avoid confrontation isn't a good way to handle your life. Sooner or later, you're going to have to face your problems and confront them. Only little boys and little girls would just disappear and run off without at least having the decency to tell the other person it's over. If you're too scared to do that, you're a pussy, and that's all there is to that.
@aWes0MeNeSs I love your answer and you are completely right
Thank you! :)
If you aren't over pursuing someone they can't ghost.
Can't ghost. ?
Why should we stop ghosting when girls flake at an equally high rate?
Exactly. It goes both ways.
Yeah, I've heard ghosting is common now too! It's a shame.
I never knew there was any other way to break-up, this is the only thing girls have ever done to me.
Men "ghost" for good reasons only. That's all I'm going to say.
Eh, not always. Sometimes it's just that they're weak minded individuals who are afraid of confrontation and would rather run away from their problems rather than facing them. Rather than facing the fact that the relationship isn't working out and needs to be ended, and that it should be done the right way, he'd rather run off and disappear because it's easier that way.
@aWes0MeNeSs If you understand men, you'd know that they aren't good communicators, nor are they good at dealing with emotions like women are - men deal with logic, ie, the masculine. Is it their fault? No. It all comes down to being a different species. You have two options:
1) Blame & criticise men for being different
2) Understand where they are coming from.
I choose the second option. This is my opinion & the way I choose to be as a woman. ✌
I completely understand that they are different, but you can't tell me that they don't have the ability to know the difference between right and wrong, and that a grown man legitimately believes that running away from issues rather than facing them is the right way to handle things. The only guys I've ever known to ghost people (luckily, it hasn't happened to me, knock on wood) were little boys and not even close to being grown men. Grown men handle things a lot differently than immature little boys do.
It may be annoying, but it is hardly a dating nightmare - if you break up and he starts standing outside your house staring, then you can start to worry.
I TOTALLY agree with the last statement. It's more a reflection of their character (or lack of it). And yes I've been guilty of it (kind of... I can explain if you want me to).
Nope that was my first relationship, my second one was texting. Texting its over is by far the most brutal.
Ghosting is for people without a backbone.
Yes, we're dating ghosts now. I heard that the ghost of Amy Winehouse is single
better to ghost and never go back to women again once you've woken up...