When it Comes to Dating, Men Are the Biggest Hypocrites on Earth

[janina]

All this talk about double-standards and hypocrisy on the part of the Democrats after the presidential election got me thinking.

I've been reading a lot of questions and myTakes on here about how men and women view each other, what they think of the dating game, why they're either fed up or frustrated or just plain angry about all of it, etc. That's when I realized that while men are quick to point out all the failings of the feminist movement (how many times has the word "feminazi" been uttered on GaG and the internet in general?), they're not so keen about looking themselves in the mirror.

If they did, they might see a lot of crazy hypocrisy that they really need to FIX before we women start taking them seriously.

Hypocrisy #1: "Women only care about looks! That's all they ever... Oh DAMN, she's HOT!"

We ALL care about looks, guys. You do, too. Especially you. To try to argue that women are more about looks is downright stupid. Take five girls and put them in a bar; only one is really hot while the other four are merely so-so. The one gorgeous chick will get 90% of the attention for the entire night and the other four girls will be lucky if any guy even looks in their direction, let alone talks to them.

I think men believe girls only care about looks because they spend their lives approaching bimbos. Yeah, a lot of times, the hottest girl is also the dumbest and you know what? They're also likely to be incredibly shallow, too, so it's no surprise you guys only have experience with women who care about looks. Maybe if you approached a woman who had some substance, you wouldn't be so quick to generalize.

Hypocrisy #2: "Girls should be feminine...but wait, not THAT feminine...and not THAT mannish."

You guys really can't seem to make up your minds, and no matter what the girl does, it's wrong. On the one hand, you want a girl to be feminine; you want her to have some standard/traditional female traits because, unsurprisingly, that's what you like. Then ten seconds later, you turn around and freak out if a girl wears something pink. The assumption is she's just some ditzy chick or a princess or something, and you expect some over-emotional women crying on your shoulder.

Then you flip around and say, if we're just wearing jeans and a sweatshirt or something, that maybe we want to "look a little more feminine." Okay, so where's the line? No dresses? Or just no dresses of a certain type? And what about color and makeup? What amount of makeup can I wear so you'll still be attracted to me but won't call me a whore?

Hypocrisy #3: "Experienced girls are sluts...experienced guys just know what they're doing."

I know some guys like the virgin thing (though not so many in my experience, especially after a certain age), and other guys like experienced women. Let's face it, sex requires practice like anything else. Guys like to believe they're Don Juans right out of the gate but trust me, you're not, and you need just as much practice as the rest of us. However, if a woman has some experience in this area, that's someone to be avoided and even shunned.

Guys, on the other hand, can be Casanovas because they slept with a hundred women and that's perfectly okay. I can't even begin to tell you how infuriating this is. I also find it interesting that a man's sexual history is apparently irrelevant while a woman's sexual history is critical to any relationship. I'm no feminazi - I'm not even a feminist - but this is still a far cry from equal.

Any other ladies want to contribute to this list? Chime in. :)

[OlderAndWiser]

1. "Yeah, a lot of times, the hottest girl is also the dumbest and you know what? They're also likely to be incredibly shallow, too." So. . . men aren't the only one who use shallow stereotypes of women. Actually, guys have an expression: :For every hot looking chick walking down the street, there's a guy somewhere who is tired of putting up with her shit!" Guys who are just out to score and add to their count may be Shallow Hals about looks, but guys who are looking for a relationship know that there is much more to a relationship than physical attraction.

Still. . . no one will say (with a straight face) that physical attraction is not important in a relationship. That is not a conscious decision on our part; it is just the way that we were wired at the factory.

2. More mature guys know what we want and I want a feminine girl. I frequently tell my girlfriend, "You're such a girly girl! Please don't change that!"

3. Girls can be sluts and so can guys. I don't want to be with a girl if I am # 67 but at my age, I don't expect to find a girl for whom I would be #2 or #3. What is important is that she respect her body as something not to be given away just for physical pleasure for a night but only when she is in a relationship where she trusts her partner and has genuine feelings of affection. If she feels that way, she is not a slut. IMHO, the same rule applies to guys. No. they're not king studs; their just man whores and sluts.

[Nuala]

I feel like I've said this like a million times... but MEN aren't hypocritics, SOME men are hypocritics but not all. Just like not all women are hypocritics but wait... some are!

We need to stop making this "men vs women" and start making it "crazy hypocritics vs sane people". Then the sane people can kick out the crazy hypocritics and we can stop this femanizi/maninist BS.

[Botchie]

Thank you for saying this. I wait for the day that we don't have to say this any more.

[ManOnFire]

I think when men say women only care about looks, they're talking about the overall situation. Men like looks in WOMEN, but women care about looks in themselves, in OTHER WOMEN, and even men too despite them denying it. Men don't care how other men look or try to measure up to them.

Most men like a feminine woman, and not too much of a mannish one. They want a balance, and there really is nothing debatable about that.

I hear No.3 a lot and I really don't know what I think. I do know that many women want experienced men and even have their own hangups about virgin guys, especially ones who are into adulthood. For me, an experienced woman is fine, and an inexperienced one is fine as well.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Or of course how they want a traditional woman but then hate on career driven women who want to be independent :)

[XRabbitHeartX]

should say NOT want a traditional woman.

By traditional i mean a woman who lets her man make the money and doesn't mind having a man who pays for her.

[bobbyxx]

Or women want men to be chilvarous but won't behave like a lady.

[XRabbitHeartX]

@bobbyxx Yeah but that's just hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

That's it? 3 things that are wrong? Girls:
1. Constantly stresses Honesty and communication (gets pissed when he answers yes to "does this make me look fat?")
2 . A guy must be "masculine" (is a butch bitch who looks like a lumberjack with the haircut of a 10 year old boy)
3. A guy must always know what I am thinking (Comes on here asking what are guys thinking?)
4. A guy must be hot and fit (she is an ugly whale)
5. A guy must give me oral (refuses to give bjs)
6. A guy must "Make me feel feminine" (does nothing to make him feel masculine)
7. A guy must "Know what he is doing" because "I don't want to teach him" (Does not respect that guys like that don't like sluts!)
8. A girl rejects a guy for being a fuckboy (she is the biggest slut around!)
9. A guy must buy me a $400 bag for my birthday (give him a $25 gift card, even though she makes more money than him)
10. A guy must say exactly the right thing at the right time (Gets mad if he doesn't)
11. A guy must make over $50k a year
12. A guy must always pay for the date (goes out with guys she is not interested in for a free dinner)
13. A guy must be over 6ft
14. Girls are not allowed to be shamed for anything! (shames man for anything she doesn't like about him)
15. A guy must make all my fantasies come true (refuses to even try his fantasies)
16. OMG Magic Mike? BEST MOVIE EVA! (You think she has a nice body? OMG you're objectifying women!)
17. A guy must always wait patiently for me to get ready and can never be upset no matter how late I am (guy is two minutes late picking her up OMG WTF?)
18. A guy can never hit a woman (thinks its funny to hit her boyfriend in the face as hard as she can, then acts surprise when he pushes her away!)
19. A guy must get along with my friends (doesn't give a shit about his friends)
20. A guy should come with me to family gatherings (gets upset when he asks her to spend time with his side of the family)
21. A guy has to constantly tell me he loves me and I am pretty (never bothers to tell him that, gets upset when he asks)
22. Says I want to compete (gets upset when she looses)
I could go on but I am running out of characters!

I think you got us beat!

[Tony1974]

WRONG on so many levels...#1.) YOU do only care about looks because you know we care about looks too. No double standard here. Women will find certain guys sexually attractive just like men will find certain women sexually attractive. The difference is with most men there is a far a shortly list after "sexually attractive" than women except if they are sluts. Women also resort o fake up, push-up bras, breast "augmentation", botox, butt implants and other forms of plastic surgery to "catch" the Mr Right.
2.) This is bullshit too. When you girls start going or guys in dresses let me know and I'll test your "double-standard." Sometimes we can't tell which team you play for. My bad for guessing your not a breeder. Funny how this completely contradicts #1 though.. We get bs for harassing you so don't be shocked that if you don't dress like a woman we pay you no heed. You ladies only have yourselves to blame for this one.
3.) A man who slept with lots of woman are worshipped by women not other men; not the vast majority of us. And you're wrong about a man's sexual history is apparently irrelevant while a woman's sexual history is critical to any relationship. When he has little or no experience almost no woman will take the time of day to teach him what he needs to know, while a virgin to most guys is desired, especially for a wife. There's "practice" and having solid relationships. And then there's just jumping form one guy to the next guy to the next guy.. or several guys at once because the stud I thought I landed turned out to be a player. Also, our equipment is very different. When our stretches to the max it's a good thing; your.. not so much. Also, yours is a body cavity which can be highly susceptible to infections and STDs. Women contract STDs twice the rate of men. (https://wonder. cdc. gov/controller/datarequest/D128). We may be looking for good woman to have children with and the more you screw around the greater chances you have of contracting an infection that leads to infertility. Not only that but promiscuous women make lousy wives. See the divorce rate of 42% for first time marriages; 70% of which are filed by the woman. A woman who keeps moving form man to man without taking time off, learns that it's never her fault.. all guys are assholes and that there's always another sucker to take her goods... until there isn't.

[Anonymous]

Most girls, whether ugly, fat, smart, not so smart, etc... care about the guy they date/sleep with falling in one or more of the categories based on the girls priorities:
1) Being approved of by family
2) Being approved of by friends
3) Being hot
4) Being financially stable
5) Being in shape

A girl will take a cut, based on her strengths and weaknesses. An obese girl, will date an obese guy. A hot girl will date and old or obese guy if he has money/social status (because she can divorce and get the hot guy she wants later).

But, in reality. We are all the same. The only reason you act differently from men, is because of social constraints. Furthermore, you're year range of fertility/attractiveness peaks tend to be more narrow.

Consequently, you have to sell yourself differently. Also, women were enslaved/objectisized for many centuries. Basically, they were groomed to serve men in the past. Only 200 years ago, were girls in America even acknowledged for their intelligence and given the right to vote.

The reality is that, men and women don't differ much genetically or mentally, although there are slight horimonal differences. Girls and guys both find people attractive. Both hold biases. The differences are social and historical.

Girls statistically, according to OkCupid are showing more biases than men based on race, looks and more. These are statistics that are taken when the population as a whole doesn't know it is being watched. If it was one case, I'd get it, but for it to occur en-mass, raises some questions of whether girls are really as unbiased as they make things seem.

The reality is that both men and women en-mass are hypocrites. In reality, we are both racist and superficial to a degree (unless it is offset by upbringing). BUT, men are more honest about it.

Girls screen potential mates more stringently, unless they are just the type to sleep around. Why? Pregnancy, diseases, social biases. Girls are judged more harshly and are more susceptible to long term consequences of not thinking about their actions. However, if you took these away, they'd be no different from men.

This is why girls in general are more socially political and manipulative, because they had to be in order to survive with the stronger gender around. However, if you even the battlefield, girls are just as violent, rude, judgmental. They are really no better than men. Everything else is just social and about knowing their short comings.

[Opinion Owner]

If a hot girl is with an unattractive guy, her friends will pressure her by saying she can do better. UNLESS, the guy is rich.
Men and women are both hypocrites.
Most interracial marriages end in divorces if a partner is attractive, why? social pressure.
Men and women are both biased.
Furthermore, the pressure may not solely come from women, men historically, have pulled a lot of nonsense to "protect" their women. Like restrict their rights to vote, or take away decision making responsibilities from them.

[AleDeEurope]

Have you ever had any contact with men... like, any men at all?

1) We men know we're visual, we put importance in looks, just like girls. When you don't know someone, thee first thing that you notice is their looks, so we're very aware that we'll approach a pretty girls before approaching an average one. No guy complains about that. The only thing guys complain about is when girls say that girls don't care about looks that much, cause we all know that's not true.

2) You do know every guy is different, right? While one guy likes girly girls, the other one prefers tomboys. But I think most of us want girls to stick to mostly the style we prefer, but we want her to know how to dress appropriately. Like don't go with jeans to a fancy dinner.
I'm more into girly girls, but I wouldn't complain, and I do find it hot, when she's around the house with some sweatpants.

3) You talk about the "Stud-Slut" double standard, which very much exists, but what about the virgin double standard? A guy can't be a virgin once he's 18 if he wants to avoid being shamed, while a girl can be in her 20's, and be a virgin without a problem. So you can't talk about the "Stud-Slut" double standard without talking about the other one, cause they both go hand in hand.

[BubbleBoy69]

Actual men are more likely to approach an average girl because they believe she is likely to be single and they have a better shot with her than a hot girl who they might assume already has a boyfriend.

2. Guys don't mind tomboys or girly girls. Men however, absolutely detest man hating feminist.

3. The reason for the slut/stud standard goes beyond just it being double standard and make sense when you look at the fact that each gender has their own imperative in mating.

[SovereignessofVamps]

I think she said all of this in her mytake, did you read all of it? I only disagree with her last point. Guys idolize being slutty, because most guys... probably can't have the # of options to be slutty themselves, so it's an ideal because it's almost like a fantasy thing. Guys who actually do have lots of partners, don't care about her being slutty or not at all usually. They just see sex as sex, since they get tons themselves.

[beaves11]

@BubbleBoy69 actually most guys who want something very real myself included have high standards on girls looks, you only want one you need her to look good, there's no shame in just not accepting average in life.

[BubbleBoy69]

@beaves11 Ah...

I don't know what "very real" has anything to do with looks. A girl can be 10/10 and be the fakest person in the room. Looks have nothing to do with how "real" someone is.

Most men don't have high standards for looks. They don't care if 1000000000000x finds his girl hot and want her also. Most men just want a girl THEY find attractive and since men tend to find a good percentage of the female population attractive this isn't hard thing to do.

Just look at gag for perfect example of how low male standards are when it comes to looks. Your average girl gets rating scores of like 8-9/10 on here. Guys go for average because it's realistically obtainable and it's appealing to them. Less men go for women who look like this

scontent.cdninstagram.com/.../..._1188970266_n.jpg

Because they assume that their chances of getting a yes is low and/or she has a boyfriend. The obtainable is why "Girl next door" look for women is more appealing than the super model for many men.

[Bobbyhill1]

@BubbleBoy69 that girl wasn't pretty lol bad example

[Bobbyhill1]

@SovereignessofVamps no she didn't say all of that in her take. She didn't mention the double standard of a guy being a virgin and a girl being a virgin. she only is talking from her experience. There are 2 sides to every story.

[beaves11]

@BubbleBoy69 I'm not saying super model looks but I do not find average attractive, that's not something to impress others just the only thing I find attractive are very slender in shape girls with gorgeous faces, lookup Lindsey Stirling she's very attractive and she is my expectation I guess you could say physically, I don't care if it's harder, so what if I have to ask out two more girls until I get her than most guys? I'll still get that type of girl.

[beaves11]

@BubbleBoy69 www.allypitypang.com/.../01-lindsey-stirling.jpg

Did the search for you, that type of girl is the only kind I find attractive, again I don't care if it's going to take a couple extra rejections I'm still committed to my standards and it's not realistically unattainable like you say.

[NexAngelus]

WRONG WRONG WRONG

guys are OPEN about looks. unlike females, who ooo i only care about his personality bullshit... i will tell u right to ur face, if i dont like how u look i am not going to care to get to know u. no hypocricy there. NEXT.

girls feminine... what girl does not look hot in pink? any guy that says that is a fucking fag. u hang out with a lot of fags it seems. never heard of ur issue u seem to have, but then again u seem to be a fem and u pro do have femnaz fag male friends. they are not real men. thats fine if thats what u want around u, but they are nothing like the actual male population. look around on GAG, everyone admits that they are little princesses. its something u have to deal with if u want a girlfriend. they want to be spoiled and babied to some degree. welcome to haveing tits. NEXT

SLUTS... while it is much less likely for someone to say something about a guy who knows what they are doing PERIOD. a guy, person is less likely to say a girl is a slut depending on how she behaves and dresses less on her skill. girls get called sluts because of how they act, not because of the actual number of people they have slept with in almost all occasions. a girl can be stupid and sleep with one guy and be a slut. its all in how u behave and go about ur life. what u call slut though, guys have the opposite too though, which u dont seem to realize. if a guy underperforms that badly, he is called a fag ;) lol. so both sides have name calling based on sexual performance or behavior if u want to nit pick.

in general guys are muuch more honest and u have ur own FEMALES to blame for most of the slut shamming... in society... females are so nice to each other i know.

[Idonotgivearatsass]

@NexAngelus
I don't believe you're 31 or at least certainly not mentally, you're probably closer to 15 or 16, since you write like one too.

[NexAngelus]

@Idonotgivearatsass lol thanks i take that as a complement ;)

[Rawrzz]

Hypocrisy, yes, but different. It's the same difference as whether you would have men and women maintain the same physical requirements for whatever task. Well, women are innately weaker than men by half per pound. Considering most men weigh more than women, an average woman is like 20-25% as strong as an average man. Not to mention weaker bones, meaning more likely to be injured.

While you could call it hypocrisy for a woman to say, "You should lift more weight than me, but I don't want to lift that much," that doesn't account for the differing strength levels; and is thus a faulty comparison. Likewise, men and women are different; thus, we are bound by different social rules and obligations. I'mmostly referring to the differing sexual perspectives on men and women. Men are virgin shamed; women are slut shamed. It's not hypocrisy.

But, I feel like you're mix and matching various things a whole host of different men have said, given your reference point is various MyTakes and comments. It's only hypocrisy if the two conflicting points come from the same mouth.

[Jayded1]

Allow me to counter all of your points.

Hypocrisy #1: "Women only care about looks! That's all they ever... Oh DAMN, she's HOT!"

EVERY human that feels sexual attraction will find someone "hot" Women being more shallow than men when it comes to looks doesn't mean men dont find women hot.

Hypocrisy #2: "Girls should be feminine... but wait, not THAT feminine... and not THAT mannish."

You are lookin at the opinions of a bunch of people, of course there will be variance, trying to sum up all men by using points that are individual is impossible. On the flip side to this you do realize how hard it is for men, you can't be "too masculine" or you are a macho douche, you can't be "too sensitive" beause you are seen as a push over. Here is the thing for both sexes. Someone people like macho, some like sentitive, some like feminine, some like masculine. It is individual.

Hypocrisy #3: "Experienced girls are sluts... experienced guys just know what they're doing."

Guys don't care if a girl is inexperienced in bed, you almost never here a guy complain about a girl in bed. Girls find a guy is a virgin or inexperienced and its like lady repellent.

[front2back]

Let's start off on some positive notes: I really do like your writing style (it's similar to mine), and the point about looks is very true because both women AND men care a lot about looks, it's just how us humans are, perceiving more beautiful people to be better mates.

However, this article is attributing gross generalizations to others via gross generalizations, which is where I see the problem.

I'm not saying there aren't double standards, there's some for men and some for women. However the way this was written implies that nearly every man follows these points and it also occasionally pointed women in a negative light as well. For example, back to the looks thing, there are a fair amount of women who think looks are just as important (and sometimes more important) than other qualities. I've met and worked with a lot of them. You also imply that men chase "bimbos" all the time because they are dumb and hot, which I think is backhanding women who are attractive as automatically being bimbos, dumb, and shallow, whereas some of the smartest and sweetest girls I've met were very attractive and their personalities shined just as bright.

That's really it. Your points weren't off target, but a fair amount of them could have hit the bullseye but fell a little short. It can be improved though!

[Righttobeararms83]

"Hypocrisy #1: "Women only care about looks! That's all they ever... Oh DAMN, she's HOT!" ' men say women only care about their own look and men's money. So thats wrong.
'Hypocrisy #2: "Girls should be feminine... but wait, not THAT feminine... and not THAT mannish." '
Men want women to be WOMEN not a man without a penis. So thats wrong.
'Hypocrisy #3: "Experienced girls are sluts... experienced guys just know what they're doing." '
Girls go after experienced guys because they know what they are doing, thats not men saying that it's women. Girls find men's sexual history ireleavent. Girls want a confident don juan guy right out of the gate as thats what most women are attracted to. Its really women who slut shame not guys. Guys want a girl with low numbers for a relationship but for a one night stand are willing to go get it on with a promiscuous woman who just wants sex. Men and women go after the guys/girls they want and neither should be shamed. So your wrong again.
You should really be mad at women as most of these hypocrisies and double standards belong to women not men, you can't blame men for everything lol

[Anonymous]

Let's change the hypothesis to: most people are hypocrites.

However, Im proud to say that lately, I've been falling more for guys who aren't particularly handsome, but who are super hot to me because of their minds. I used to have a strong distaste for overweight people (for dating only, not in general) but I barely care anymore. It's not important. A great mind will make me happier.

"I like manly men... but not macho-manly, that's just stupid. And they have to be sensitive and romantic too. But not gay-ish." Is the female version of #2 :p

Experience doesn't matter much to me, I truly wish more people thought that way. Respect matters, and the way people view dating and love in general.
I know a guy who slept with about 20 girls and think he's a slut of the worst kind. He only falls for looks, degrades the girls he sleeps with and calls them sluts/whores whenever he's drunk and tries to fuck every pretty girl he meets.
I know another guy who slept with over 30 girls. He's smart, nice and respectful. You wouldn't guess he's that experienced at first sight, he's just a regular nice guy. But he's open minded, assertive and adventurous, which led to that number eventually.

[Anonymous]

Well I think the biggest double standard which is not often talked about is that girls seem to automatically put skinny guys into the friendzone unless he is like a famous rockstar or really badass guy.

I have a couple of slightly overweight friends who don't do very much with their lives apart from partying and video games. Yet they get laid pretty easily and girls don't make it extremely hard on them usually. Of course they sometimes get rejected but they get laid at least regularly. They are definitely not trying very hard I can tell you that.

I am a very skinny guy, yet I dress well and know how to respect myself. I am confident in myself and could best be described as passive alpha male. I have backpacked in 15 countries and like climbing mountains.

I am the vice president of my university class so I definitely have a leadership role. I am also at flight school learning over the course of 4 years to fly a big commercial jet, hopefully one day as a captain.

Women IGNORE me like their is no tomorrow, I can try very little or really hard, I have done both over the years. It is like I am invisible. doesn't make any difference at all. I get treated with the formality level of a business partner.

That in my opinion is a larger double standard than anything at all. I could be UN secretary general and I would still be ignored me as I am a skinny guy.

THAT is a MAJOR double standard I find. If women can't deal with a healthy guy who doesn't look manly enough well then I don't know anymore.

[BTeal]

Fair point, but how do you know that this is the reason why?

I personally don't have a particular preference based on body weight (seems ridiculous to me) except that the guy is reasonably healthy and happy the way he is.

If girls are avoiding you due to your size, maybe it's a personal issue with themselves rather than there being a problem with you? - What I mean is, for example, you know how LOADS of girls are conscious about their own weight and whether or not they look fat, so for these insecure ones, they wouldn't want to date someone that in their eyes would make themselves appear more so. I knew a girl that thought this way once...

It's just a theory, and there could be other reasons I'm not aware of (since I've not actually been in a proper relationship, myself and therefore don't have a clue) but I'm sure you'll find someone!! ^_^

[Opinion Owner]

@BTeal Thank you for your replying. I used to think that too but the girls who are clearly much lighter than me (and who notice this as well) are the ones that most reject me.

I do live in Spain (I am from Holland myself) and I notice that Spanish and Latina girls tend to care a lot more about this than other types. With Scandinavian girls for example is it not that bad.

[Negrodamuss]

A lot of men can be a waste of time frankly. You can speak of all these things but it will just go in one ear and out the other. Women in my opinion should start raising their standards a bit and give less of these guys a chance the moment you smell even a little of the traits you described here. I see a lot of women putting up with a lot of shit for guys and it boggles my mind sometimes. Just demand more from men and they'll be forced to give you more... and the ones that can't compete will stay single for life... deservedly

[HikerDude]

This is wrong on basically every count. Men do not complain that women care about our looks, we complain that women care about our looks, and our confidence, and our "game," and our sense of humor, and our intelligence level, and our education level, and our social status, and our... everything! A female author reported in a well-known book that women have several hundred relationship dealbreakers that will turn them off. Men have three.

Women are the self-appointed arbiters of what makes a "real" man, so you all have no room to complain that we express an opinion about feminine behavior. And guys most certainly are judged by our sexual experience. Guys who get a lot are labled as "players," users who seek only sexual gratification. On the other hand, women judge guys without sexual experience to be losers, low-status guys with no value. So this street runs both ways.

[Fathoms77]

"A female author reported in a well-known book that women have several hundred relationship dealbreakers that will turn them off. Men have three."

Insulting. Maybe dumb men have three. I have just as many deal-breakers as any woman I've met, as do most men I know... not surprising that was written by a woman. :P

[SalmonBear]

What always bothers me, is when men say: They try to change me, change how much I see my friends (or even say, "What will my friends think if I spend so much time with my girl and not them?").
I hate this. Women accommodate a lot of themselves for the man, usually (in my experience). But men refuse to do so, because it would make them 'weak' or that they won't just change for anyone. Yet they expect to be accommodated by their girls at all times.

They refuse to see them at times, because pickles forbid that their friends might think they are not spending enough time with them. I hate it, when they still behave like they were single but expect their women to not do so.

[NatashaJ]

Well don't date those type of guys.

[SalmonBear]

@NatashaJ
Definitely not.

[Bandit74]

#1
Girls are actually pickier about looks when it comes to casual sex. So for one night stands and fwbs, guys are more willing to lower their standards than women are. For relationships guys definitely care more than women. For relationships its common for the girl to be the better looking one, but for casual sex women rarely sleep with men who are less attractive than she is.

#2
That just comes down to trying to find a balance. Its the same for men. There is probably an ideal range of masculinity you prefer your partners to fall in. Not masculine enough and he's a pussy, too masculine and he's a meathead.

#3
Its not a double standard. Men decide what kind of sexual history they are willing to tolerate in women and women decide what kind of sexual history they are willing to tolerate in men. Its not our fault that women are on average, more willing to accept promiscuity in a partner. We didn't force you to do that.

[tyber1]

On point 3, most women actually prefer a man who has a decent amount of sexual experience.

[nalaa]

1) You keep repeating this over and over again. I wish you would actually listen to the things people. Like what she said about guys going for the hottest girl in a group. It's true in my opinion. Even when the other girls are also good looking. And it's not covered by your guys will fuck everything that moves rule
And I'm not saying that looks don't matter but her point was that guys act far more shallow in that regard. Men care so much about looks that it's objectifying.

2) I don't know. People like to say things you should be balanced as if that's always a good thing. Personally I don't know what too masculine would look like? I agree with her there also. Women are lot more straightforward and we know what we want.
And come on "too masculine and he's a meathead" being masculine does not make you stupid

3) Of course it's a double standard. A different standard applied to the same situation. You might say not all double standards are bad, but don't argue that it isn't one. It is

[nalaa]

And besides she wasn't just referring to that men and women care about different things.
" I also find it interesting that a man's sexual history is apparently irrelevant while a woman's sexual history is critical to any relationship"
You'll hear something like that a lot. Guys that think that girl that has had sex has somehow a flawed personality, that sex screwed her up so bad she should illegible, while his own sleeping around of course couldn't havep ossibly had any impact on his personality. That would be outrageous

[Bandit74]

@nalaa

What is it exactly you want me to listen to?

1. I wasn't saying that guys will fuck anything that moves, just that guys are less picky compared to women when it comes to casual sex. in my opinion guys are more willing to dip maybe 1-3 levels below his own league for casual sex. So girls have better odds of being able to have casual sex with someone who is more attractive, while men have better odds of being able to get in a committed relationship with someone who is more attractive, but usually only if he earns more money than she does. Overall I agree that guys place more weight/value on looks than women do, but I think women judge it more critically so it takes higher quality visuals for a girl to want a guy based only on looks.

I'm not really into the club or bar scene, but I have heard attractive girls say that they dont get asked out as much as people think and that some even get passed over for their less attractive friends...

[Bandit74]

Some guys may also go for the second or third best looking girl in a group if they think they will have better odds of getting laid. Regardless, girls aren't giving attention to guys of all levels of attractiveness either. Girls rarely approach anyone and if they do it will probably be one of the most attractive guys.

2. Meathead was just the first word that came to mind =.= ... Does asshole work better? Or what about "toxic masculinity"? Thats what feminists call it when a guy's masculinity becomes excessive, no?
The point was just that there is an ideal range of masculinity and that the further one deviates from that range the smaller the demographic of people they appeal to will be.

3. Yeah, but its different standards held by different groups of people. Men have a standard by which they judge female sexuality and women have a standard by which they judge male sexuality. It's not our fault if girls are more likely to view a man's sexual history as irrelevant.

[Riggers]

1) Haha, And guys dont get judged on our looks too? Girls are just as judgmental as guys, you're experiencing a personal Bias that you're a girl and not realising that you do the same thing.

We get fisted just as much for imperfections as you.

2) And guys get fucking ripped on for not being masculine enough, Apparently if were not forging iron with our shirts off with our ripped 8 packs doused in sweat and grit whilst we look up with our majestic noble faces were a feminine pussy bitch.

3) Guys with a lot of girls are douchebag players, Guys with no or little girls are loser virgins.

It. Works. Both. Ways.

[Scrambledagain]

#3 is true though. Sex is so fucking easy to get for a girl, not for a guy. So the guy who sleeps with a lot of women is a legend. No girl who sleeps around can claim that. A girl doesn't even have to try be good in bed. I know many sluts (I say that positively) that are terrible lays eventhough they have had many guys. A guy on the other hand needs to fuckin good for the women to come to him.

Women don't get this because it's not a problem you have to deal with. Women choose their sex path, men work for it. Therein lies the difference.

[Shorty1991]

I think we can all agree that both genders can be equally as hypocritical and as indecisive as each other.
Some women say they want to be with a good guy and end up dating douchebags, fuck boys and pricks.
On the other hand some men say they prefer a plain Jane/girl next door type who can scrub up well on occasions and end up with high maintenance gold diggers who only really love and care about themselves.