Why You Should Let the Man Chase You

[Anonymous]

1. Men are hunters

It is a biological instinct that men are hunters and want to hunt/or seek out their prey. They also have an instinct to comfort/take care of their loved ones. This being said, allowing a man to do what he is meant to do, which is chase- seems natural.

2. You always want what you can't have

Let's be honest, you want that brand new Porcshe, knowing that perhaps within your financial bracket it is unattainable. You research it, spend time, effort, and maybe even money to go to shows to see!

3. Easy come, easy go

If something pops into your life, without you having to work for it, you will be more inclined to not take it seriously or appreciate it, and let it go...

4. The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it

The harder you work for what you want, and the harder it is, the more you are going to appreciate it. Let's say you work nights and weekends, long hours just to spend $300 on a brand new pair of jeans that you've wanted for a long time- you are going to take care of them and wear them out for special occassions, unlike spending $10 on a pair that you don't care about.

5. There is something to be said about the traditional ways of dating

Divorce rates are higher than ever. People break up over silly things, and don not want to commit. There is something about not sleeping around, and working for your relationship to make things last.

[coachTanthony]

I will politely disagree with this MYTAKE and HERE IS WHY. Having a man chase you because you think we are hunters is outrageous. When you play hard to get it confuses guys on whether or not you like them. Its really that simple. Guys are turned on by women that like them and show an interest. Men don't want to chase women... they want a woman who is high value. So simply ask yourself in the moment is this what a woman of high value acts like when you are playing the GAME OF HARD TO GET.

[Anonymous]

I don't want a man who sees me as prey, thank you.

murderpedia.org/male.B/images/b/bundy/bundy507.jpg

[cth96190]

Ah, Ted Bundy. He was an inspiration to men everywhere.

[idonthaveausername02]

@cth96190 well said

[Anonymous]

just gonna leave this response from another question that explain why you never chase a girl.

"Under no circumstances do you tell her that you like her.

Girls who play hard to get are driven (addicted even) to attention and validation. As my father used to say, "attention and validation is to women what sex is to men." What that means is, she doesn't need to have sex with you to feel the pleasure of you giving her acceptance and desire for her, or to validate how important she is. That's great for her, and not so great for you.

If you want to be cynical for a moment, and imagine a world where a bunch of insecure women go around looking to trade sex in return for attention and validation, but without incurring some "cost" to their "reputation" by "actually having sex" with guys... what is the dominant go to strategy for a girl? To be a tease. To play hard to get. To try and get something for nothing. To look for fools who are willing to give her what she wants for free.

When a girl plays hard to get, she is trying to "warm you up" (sales term, not meant in the sexual sense), "pull" you in, until you reach into your attention and validation wallet, and fork over your money. Once you've done that, she's got everything she wanted from you. You have given away your bargaining chips and power over to her. Now, you are powerless. Now, you are just left doing more and more, bidding against yourself in the "hope" that maybe she reciprocates.

It's sort of like jujitsu. She's trying to get you in a vulnerable position and put herself in a dominant position. The best way to counter a choke hold is to simply avoid getting into one. So, when you see her behaving that way, the last thing you want to do is reward or encourage that behavior. You definitely don't want to be giving up power with someone who is showing you that she's addicted to playing power games.

So, the best thing you can do with her is but your shameless emotionless cold and dispassionate hard bargaining negotiator hat on. She's no longer a woman. She's Donald Trump, and you're negotiating with Donald Trump. You have to be ready to say fuck you, not text back, not reach out to her, ignore her, and basically treat her like she doesn't matter. Once you nonverbally communicate our willingness to walk away and indifference to her, at a minimum, the power games should slow down or stop. If they start again, you go into Donald Trump mode again, until you condition her to respect you."

[lumos]

1. I disagree. I don't think the hunter-gatherer mentality applies to dating. Especially considering that that sort of setup isn't really relevant in society anymore. Humans adjust according to the surroundings, so I would say that it's not in anyone's *genes* to hunt. You hunt if you have to or specifically want to, and if you don't, you don't. A genetic drive for hunting doesn't really exist in every man.
2. A pretty broad generalization that certainly doesn't apply to everyone. I know many men who give up if a girl tries to play games or acts hard to get, because they view it as disinterest or lack of maturity (i. e. they don't want to partake in silly mind games).
3. This will only apply to those who don't really like commitment to begin with. If a guy wants to break up with me simply because I showed interest back in him without playing mind games, then it's clear that he was just in it for the rush of the chase, and not because he actually likes me as a person. If he can't take me seriously because I don't play games, then he's a douche.
4. Might be true to some extent, but only short term. A person might feel lucky that they got someone, but most people do become comfortable at some point and might start to take their partner for granted anyway. How hard they "worked" for the person won't guarantee future interest. A partner isn't a pair of jeans, if you can't appreciate what you have regardless of how you got it, then you're self-entitled and shallow. And quite frankly that makes someone a bad partner. What I said for point 3 also applies here.
5. Not everyone wants to live a traditional lifestyle. Also divorce rates have actually gone down. They peaked in 1940 and 1980 but have been going down ever since.
www.randalolson.com/.../...divorces_per_capita.png

[cth96190]

Good. You stand there and wait for the man to do all the chasing.
He probably will not, because under changes to law that are the result of lobbying by Feminists, simply asking a girl on a date can be a crime. Look up what has been happening in Nottinghamshire, England. That is a beta test for the same sort of law to be rolled out around the Western world.
Once approaching a woman, or simply speaking to her, or even looking at her, has been criminalised, how many men do you think are going to approach you?
Approach a woman = risk a career and/or education ending sexual-harassment complaint. If you are in Nottinghamshire, risk an Orwellian thought crime charge.
Take a woman on a date = risk of a career and/or education ending false rape allegation.
Have consensual sex = risk a career and/or education ending false rape allegation. There is also the risk of a lifetime of child-support payments.
So, Miss Anonymous, you keep on insisting that the men make all the moves. As every day passes, you are more likely to have a longer and longer wait.

[AriadneSky]

Everyone hunted back in the day. and gathering food you still have to go seek it. even more so bc its less obvious. medical herbs tok vey special care and focus in finding. women were never siting around waiting.

if a person can not want you for you they won't want you when they get you.

if you have to work hard to appreciate what you have and men work for you, , then following that logic you won't want him bc you did not wok for it. or inversely if running away counts as working for it of it then he could want you whether he chased or ran. plus this contradicts wanting what you can't have. if you ate you won't want it. #2 cancel out #4.

#3 is just another way of saying #4 both entirely missing the most important fact which is a relationship takes WORK. courting is easy. if the part you work hard in is courting you're not relationship material. and a lot of guys who think they should chase DO think the work is one once they got the girl. and women who blindly follow the illogic that courting has any indication on actual behavior during a relationship. end up very disappointed.

there i something t be said for things that are local. a traditional custom may or may not make sense neither bc it is or is not traditional. to believe in tradition simply bc its tradition is superstition not reason.

ALL of your points can be applied to either sex, which means they can not be applied , bc the basis of your application is to apply them to one sex by virtue of the fact of that sex being their sex. self refuting

what is the probe, people have with women conducting themselves like grown rational adults and not playing helpless little childish seductress in their adult hood. enough. let children be children and adults be adults.

[Anonymous]

My rebuttal to all this... Crap

Male lions typically dont hunt, ever see a lion on the discovery channel? What was he doin? Fuckin chillin like he owns the place cause, he does.
Im not designed to hunt, im a machine of war, designed to do war and i only move to prepare for war.

New porsches are an investment with a set costs and operates on a set of rules, maintenance, warranties, performance on demand. Women have preventative maintenance, maintenance when preventative maintenance fails, unforeseeable cost and no insurance. they are liabilities. They are different. Also sure i want a new one but that restored classic or used porsche is gonna save me a fuckton ill have cash left over to drive it and put asses in the passenger seat.

Easy come easy go?, women always come easy its gettin that bitch to go away is the trick

"The harder i work for it the more fortunate i will feel"
Um no, when i look at (thing attained)
Ill be reminded of the bleeding knuckles, the grueling hours, the sleep and health sacrificed. I will look and i will be bitter and despise that thing i had to work for. There. Is a time and place for work, its called work I work at work i will not work for a woman.

Divorce is beautiful.

[north2south]

I want "Male lions typically dont hunt, ever see a lion on the discovery channel? What was he doin? Fuckin chillin like he owns the place cause, he does. " on a t shirt

[Opinion Owner]

@north2south. Lol glad u like it :)

[PrettyKitty31]

@north2south lol I totally agree with you. Laughed so hard when I read that. Pure genius right there.

[JSmuve]

1. Men are hunters

Historically, men have been smaller and slower than their prey so they generally go out as a hunting party and ambush their prey. So unless you're saying you'd like to be jumped by a group of guys and violently gangraped, I'd rethink this. Just because we might hunt, doesn't mean we don't treat the prey like its a piece of meat.

2. You always want what you can't have

Until you get it and realize it wasn't worth the effort in the first place.

3. Easy come, easy go

Value isn't attained by how easy it is to get. Its attained by how rare it is. Be rare, not easy.

4. The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it

The harder I work for something the more exhausted I am when I get it and the less I appreciate it because I remember all the shit I had to go through to get it. Courting a girl shouldn't be stressful.

5. There is something to be said about the traditional ways of dating

Something tells me you're a fairweather feminist.

[Falling4UTC]

1. Yeah, I agree with this. Usually the males (in wildlife) try to look the best in order to achieve a mate. For example, male parrots are more colorful than female parrots so they attract a mate. They don't hunt them down like they would hunt their next meal. Its weird though, humans are the only species which the women dress to impress the male (with makeup.)

[Anonymous]

this is hilarious. First of all, you are not the center of the universe. If you dont show any sign of liking me, I could give 2 craps about chasing you as most guys feel. In fact, I rarely give a crap about most women or men unless I have some form of emotional attachment to them. you look hot? cool, then you are nothing more than a 1 night to some men and you won't go further than that with this attitude. Ironically, YOU will be the one that will be dropped easily, then you would have to wait for an extended amount of time to find another fool and before you know it, you will be old and sad with six cats wondering why you can't hold a relationship. you are not any more special than a man, and you are not some ''prize''. you think we are just going to chase strangers around all day? lol, here is the truth. Most men in society, have other things to worry about like bettering themselves, finding a job and creating financial stability rather than chasing females like you. If I meet a cool female who doesn't think like this, then there is no problem, but you on the other hand, are not worth the time or effort. people like you are unimportant to most guys, and your existence is moot. your not special, and there are BILLIONS of other fish in the ocean that actually deserve respect. you want to play hard to get? lol, then we will just go on to the next girl who is probably 100x better than you.

[Bandit74]

ok, so using your logic...

2. The girl won't want the guy who chases her because she knows she can have him. Instead you will spread you legs for the player who couldn't give less of a fuck about you because you want what you can't have.

3. Since the guy is chasing the girl, he is coming to the girl without her having to work for him so the guy won't be taken seriously or appreciated.

4. Once again, since she isn't working to get the guy she won't appreciate him or feel fortunate to be with him.

5. The girls who describe themselves as traditional are often only value the traditions that benefit them. You like the traditions of the guy having to make the first move, pay for dates, and earn mlre than you, but you would scoff at a man who expects you to dress modest, have a low number of sexual partners, or cook for him.

[ThisDudeHere]

Fucking this^^^^

[hahanoway]

1. Applies to women as well. Scientific consensus is that with our early ancestors women, and even children, actively participated in hunting as well. It was only later that division of labor was introduced and scientists believe that that wasn't an instinctive but a rational decision.

2. Applies to women as well.

3. Applies to women as well.

4. Applies to women as well.

5. Non-sequitur. Why does that mean that the traditional way of dating is superior? Divorce rates may just as well be higher because modern women are more self-sufficient and don't need to stay in a toxic marriage just because they depend on the man's money.

TL;DR: Woman believes men should work for her, rationalizes it with pseudoscientific arguments.

[Jamesol1]

''The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it''
Here is an example of why that is wrong: Tyson Fury spent his life getting a boxing championship title.. he got it and realized it didn't make him feel any happier and he has been suffering with depression the last year.

For most guys... it makes you think ''hmm was this worth it? Chasing this girl to the end of the earth because she is such an amazing catch. Oh wait she is a phys-co bitch who craves attention and loves mind games. If you think playing hard to get will get you the best possible men for you... keep thinking that because you don't deserve such a thing if you think in such an entitled and ignorant way.

[Robertinho]

Amen brother.

[LittleSally]

Even though these make sense on the surface, you can't deny that people nowadays (talking about adults here) aren't naive enough to believe these actually translate to a long-lasting relationship + those people don't have the time to play these games anymore - and yeah, 'letting someone chase you' is a specific kind of a game.
ONLY the person who's not that into the guy/girl can allow themselves to risk it all by letting the other party chase them - because it doesn't feel like a risk - because they don't actually care. xD

[MisterSir]

"1. Men are hunters"

biologically, humans in general are hunters, regardless of gender

"2. You always want what you can't have"

this is a really shit reason, op... seriously

"3. Easy come, easy go"

uh, k? i disagree, but k...

"4. The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it"

exactly. so why don't YOU work for it then? ;)

"5. There is something to be said about the traditional ways of dating"

yeah, not a lot of people WANT to do it anymore...

[godfatherfan]

wow, your completely full of shit. Sorry, but if you think your the "catch of all catches", there are many other woman out there that won't play bullshit games. If she is interested, she needs to let me know. I am not a 4 yr old, I don't play games. So if she tries to play games like you, I move on to someone else.
As far as sex goes, it is important to a relationship. Women bolt on guys as often as the other way around. If she does? well I had a good time and I found someone not worth having around. Plus, I found out a lot faster then dating for a month and having her fuck someone else.
You took the chicken way out and posted as anonymous. Your already anonymous when you make an account here. So you don't show an age. My guess is your young. When you grow up, you will understand a lot better. Too bad you will have lost a lot of potential partners that might have been better then the one you end up with.

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

Why dont you chase the man? The absolute reverse could be said about girls and why they should chase the guy.

The natural instinct bs is... bs. If I followed my natural instincts, it would honestly probably be to murder anyone that looked at me sideways. Probably. Hypothetically.

Also who the fuck spends 300$ on a pair of jeans? Seriously.

[sawno]

The comments kind of confirm that this is only a good idea when done proper and in moderation. Its not really about having them chase after you, its about slowly reeling them in while at the same time keeping an interesting distance.

The best balance would probably be letting him know you have an interest, but also showing trough your actions you won't instantly be his just because you have a crush. The guy has to be determined he has a chance to actually start chasing you. It also should not last to long, and should only be used as an initial interest builder.

But there is one thing that this could never beat. And that is the natural bonding without any sort of mind games. Just slowly growing together, forming a strong bond and after you obtained it getting together.

[JulieXO]

This doesn't really make sense.
Men are supposed to hunt prey. Well they were, maybe around 2 thousand years ago, but certainly not any more. Also, do you feel like men's prey? Cause I surely wouldn't wanna.
In the next few paragraphs you keep talking about how you appreciate things you work for and can't have, yet you expect your man to do all the work. This kind of gives off the vibe that you don't wanna put in any effort yourself. Why would the guy want you again?

[OrdinaryGentleman]

2000 years ago we already had many functioning societies.

[JulieXO]

@OrdinaryGentleman It was an illustrative number, I wasn't paying attention to historical accuracy. My point was that it was a long time ago.

[Captmorgan]

Spiritually, I can applaud your use of radical psychology - strategically no. You're missing out on a lot great guys (experienced guys almost never chase)...

Girls who have a "chase me" mentality are not only predictable, but boring; they are the nice guys of the female world.

[north2south]

This is so twisted and sexist towards both genders. I find your first point the most disturbing because it reduces men to nothing more than their biological instincts like animals and also compares women to prey, something to hunt for.
No one likes to be played around with in a relationship, (unless thats some sort of fetish or something for a small percentage of people, idk). Letting a man chase you seems like you're toying with his emotions, its cruel.

[JustCallMeLeon]

1) We left biology and instincts far behind the moment our brain became smarter than the one of an ape.

2) No. Only spoilled kids want that. Sane people want what they want and what works best.

3) No. We will immediately lose interest if we dont like it, even if it takes a lot of time.

4) You think of yourself as an object. you're not a pair of shoes.

5) Seems like a paragraph from another article or something.

Anyways. Leave your stone age, get back to 2017 and reality or you might end up waiting your prince charming for ever. Take control of your life.

[Centurion20000]

We left biology and instincts far behind the moment our brain became smarter than the one of an ape.

ROFL are you in for a rude awakening. Intellect STILL does not trump 300,000 years of instincts. Why do you think women still go for thugs and bad boys? It's HARDWIRED biology.

[WaterRat]

@Centurion20000 *CLAP CLAP* Some of us however get over bad boys over time (after being disgruntled all the time). Personal evolution. People just need to have that "je ne sais quois" about them to be chaseworthy.

[JustCallMeLeon]

@Centurion20000 No. Brains and logic cannot cancel 300.00 years of evolution based on instincts but can definitely stir the ship effectivelly. Anyone letting urges/instinct to overcome logic is bound to be pretty unstable, dumb and be fked (by "life") repeatedly until one day they ask themselves "omg i was such an idiot and did that".
Even those girls who like "bad boys" admit they act childish and recklessly sooner or later.

[This_is_my_username]

bleh, Fuck instincts and gorilla ass bullshit from way back when. Modern times. I think both men and women who are interested in one another should chase each other so they feel valued. No need for the man to do all the work. Yes in some cases men feel manly doing certain things like this but all the time? nah man.. Would you like to cook and clean all the time with no help? no right. Everyone wants help! even in dating. :)

[tyber1]

So true. We don't mind putting in extra effort sometimes. But with a lot of women, it seems like you need to put in all that extra effort in the beginning or you're nothing to them and it just wears on your motivation. Why try at all if they're gonna treat you like you're expendable?

[This_is_my_username]

@tyber1 yes some women do this and its quite unfortunate. maybe they have been taught at a early age to do these acts.. It's programmed in their mind if they act this way.. Then their perhaps ore valuable.

[This_is_my_username]

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