I keep hearing and reading about men complaining that their woman doesn't put out enough. Or that the men has to jump through hoops and back in order to actually get sex every once in a while.
But here is the reality- there are also men out there that play games, or that feel entitled and use sex to get what they want. So here is my personal experience.
I met Owen when I was in my 3rd year of University. He was everything that I wanted in a guy; loyal, sweet, funny and motivated. A year into us dating however, I began to see that he was changing. We were living together and often times he would come home in a bad mood. Whether it was work, or the stress of school or family- it seemed that he would take it out on me. When I say "take it out on me", I mean he would stop all affection and refuse to be intimate. I remember I would put on sexy lingerie and hug him, and he would push me back and tell me "not now". It became so degrading for me, that my self esteem had withered away.
It only became worse, when I found out that Owen was manipulating me in exchange for sex. I had attempted to express to Owen that I was very upset about his lack of affection and that I couldn't go for 2 months without anything. He shushed me and told me "well if you continue to talk like that, then I'm not gonna want to bang you". I would be quiet and then he would hold me and we would have sex.
Then our relationship started to further deteriorate when Owen started using every reason to hold sex over me. He would pick stupid fights like, "You didn't respond over an hour to my text", or "You way too many guy friends", all as excuses as to why he was too mad to have sex with me. He would "reward" me with sex when I had complied to what he asked for, like I was some sort of maid or below him.
Finally after 1.5 years, I told Owen that I am moving out and that we are done. I had come out of that relationship completely defeated, feeling unattractive, worthless and that I was not good enough for anyone to want sexually. A couple months in, I met my current boyfriend- and I have never been happier. He wants to have sex regardless of whether we just fought, or if I took too long to respond to a text, or whatever the reason may be. Yes sex isn't everything, but when you use someone and manipulate them to get your way- that is so wrong on so many levels.