Paying for a Woman's Dinner is Not Chivalry...it's Buying Her (Page 3)
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I think otherwise. It all depends on how you do it. If you are taking her out on a fancy date to impress her at the finest restaurant, then yeah, that is buying her. Save that for when you are married and it is both of your money. But buying her some ice cream and fries at McDonald's is chivalry.
In my opinion always making the guy pay is ridiculous. When it comes to my friends I am always willing to give them money if needed, and pay for things they want. Even when spending time with a guy (not sure if you can really call it a date though) I refused to let him pay for me. I don't like when others pay, no matter sex or gender, because I'll feel indebted to them, and it bothers me a lot. If I don't have my money on me and someone is offering, I'll grudgingly accept and promise to pay them back later. I may be young but I'm not 5, I can take care of myself, and plan to for some time. I grew up knowing you shouldn't rely on anyone. Being independent is best, just don't go overboard with it.
"Why do we have to pay if we don't get anything in return? Sniff sniff"
Perhaps boys shouldn't date at all.
What's probably true is that you want to date several girls (who you don't know nor care about) at the same time and would find it much more cheaper and convenient if they payed for their share.
Your next take will be on how girls should be paying for condoms.
Wait wait waaaaait. Ok there is nothing wrong with splitting the bill and I am selective on even trying to get a date. I have to get to know her pretty well before just going out. Or, she has to come to me, and I have to decide she is worth it. It's called being a smart, not desperate man. BUT, I will make this clear. NO WAY IN HELL would I make the woman pay for condoms unless she was BEGGING for sex but I wasn't feeling it. Even then, she is the one that could end up with pregnancy. Not me. So dates, yes, split the bill. Condoms? NO. Very different thing.
I'm not gonna buy a guys affection either so I guess it's a standoff.
I will say when I have paid for myself guys think I'm not interested or too feminist. Sigh.
Basically, there's no way to win. Better just learn to love being alone.
Welp, of course this can't apply to everyone, but I practically had to fight my boyfriend about splitting on the first date because I see no reason why I can't be responsible for myself. However, I'm one of those girls who only goes on dates when interested in the guy himself (ie. Not his status, wealth, etc.)
So his looks and personality then?
Even when I go out for coffee I will offer to pay or at least my own. I get weird when people spend money on me. I would never go out with a guy with expectation in mind that he is paying, that is not fair.
Amen.
I didn't read a word besides the title, but yes! That is prostitution, the women obviously being the prostitute.
My boyfriend buys me dinner. He knows I am committed to him. Why would he buy me dinner?
This post is really meant for early dating. Before things are official
I have went out with several men... they bought me dinner an I did not sleep with them. An I have went out with dudes where I paid my own way... go figure that out.
The article does not imply women are prostitutes. It only implies women can be materialistic when judging a mans qualities and there are double standards in dating.
I know that. You have to know.. I have a 29 year old son. So I can see both sides.
Wow, you've managed to pay for your own? Random applause ladies and gentlemen. The only reason men paid for women was because women didn't have a solid income. Now, in the 21st century, women make their own money, so they don't need men to pay for them, yet women still want men to pay, because... they are women. Can I get my dinner paid for me for being a man? That would be lovely.
@Svennedude2 fuck no
So let me get this straight... I'm a man, so I should not be paid for, but because you are a woman, you should be. Equality, right?
So let me get this straight: we're a chauvinist if we pay, and a deadbeat if we don't.
"Women are meant to be loved, not understood."--Oscar Wilde
Men in Barbados love paying for food. I came back 115 lbs when I went there about 108 two months before, haha they are raised that way.
Anyway I think men who pay for dinner are sexy, come on fellas, be sexy.
Women who pay for food are even sexier.
If a guy told you "women who put out on the first date are sexy, come on gals, be sexy" would you find it flattering?
Oh you island gurls are the worst lol
Barbados, haiti you island girls. I met quite a few and damn these girls don't even bother doing the fake reach in. Nope. Just stand there like a princess waiting for the guy to cover shit lol
Horrible
@TripleAce Have you met me? Hello TripleAce, I am Azzntittiz the best Island girl you could ever meet, buy me food and you might get to touch my boobs.
@lumos I would say nice try, but you could redeem yourself by paying for my shrimp.
"buy me food and touch my boobs'
So you're basically a prostitute.
What's the point in having sex when you have to pay for it?
@Like-Me I said you might get to touch my boobs. Might. And we're all whores one way or another, whether by marriage or a street corner.
What makes you think men want to touch your 30 year old tits when there are plenty of fertile young lasses walking around?
@Like-Me Cause my tits are perky and still prettier than plenty younger girls' tits. Today a group of girls called me a teenager. I told them I was 30 and they laughed because they thought I was lying. I look like 19 dude, so do my tatas.
@Like-Me SOOO true! :D
I don't give a shit about touching your tits. Pay for your own damn food! Most men are suckers for that, yes, but SMART men aren't. And most that fall for that likely just are desperate for sex and/or a slave. That won't work well in an actual relationship.
lol at least she's honest she's admitting that women are whores under the right circumstances (money) we know it, they know , but refuse to admit it in fear or being considered sluts, but the moment she sees you paying she gets wet enough to drown an elephant its just how things work, women like to be taken care of no matter how sexy or independent they are, if you're for quick sex, take her out, buy her a drink and she will already be planning on whether she should spit or swallow
@Z-Spark I wouldn't go that far. That's why many women from online dating get those free meals and then never answer back ever again. Many men don't make it to the sexy time, and then get fed up and give up. Also, they aren't obligated for sex anyway and many women aren't like this. It just FEELS like many are. That's why it's important to be selective when it comes to women. It doesn't matter if a girl is an exotic super model, if she's expecting meals and shit payed for, she isn't worth the trouble. And guys need to be less stupid and fall for looks. Often women use looks because they THINK all men are stupid and just want sex. It's about time men as a whole start saying NO. We need to stand together and say FUCK YOU to these kind of women. We aren't stupid and we work hard for our cash just to be stolen.
@errorgoodnameunfound I have been doing that for a while the most i will pay is 10$ cause iam broke af, thats why i stopped dating and instead iam just into sex these days, why bother going on dates when i know that most girls expect you to pay to date you and be exclusive and its gonna put a financial strain on me? i dont need that right now , iam happy going out, having good time and getting laid (if it happens) cause playing the boyfriend role is not an option atm and honestly the amount of entitled girls is just crazy.
@Z-Spark So true. There are girls out there that do just want sex and nothing back. They are likely more fun to be with anyway. Girls being entitled is part of them having old school mentality. It's like I said. The more superior women don't expect anything and can pay/take care of themselves without a man involved. That's the one I would want. But nowadays I am so sick of it I compare them to cavemen and/or animals. Same goes for guys that think that way too. It's the truth. ANIMALS and CAVEMEN never advanced much and want things exactly how entitled men and women want things. I don't want to date a dumb animal. I want to date a superior human with a much more developed brain.
@errorgoodnameunfound This entire response is so idiotic, I want to punch myself.
What? Because some guys are actually smart? Cry me a river. You don't even have a legit reason why you feel that way. So don't think you'll be taken any more seriously by saying that. Make you look worse tbh.
@errorgoodnameunfound She can't believe that some men actually dont pay for women and get away with it and have women who do want to date them, but its a thing, some men dont pay but still get women cause when you're valueable to a woman she will want you and will even pay for you to have you, of course it doesn't always turn into a meaningful relationship but hey it still counts.
@Z-Spark
@Z-Spark agreed. I hope less and less women think this way as time goes on. Its pathetic really to see so many stuck in 1940.
LOL. A guy buys a woman dinner because its a nice gesture, just like it would be if a woman bought dinner for a man. I hate when you need to "keep score" in a relationship.
And how often do women buy dinner for men? That's the point.
@Kkaos You need to get out more. Meet some new women.
No. A man buys a women dinner because she is lessor in value in the world so we feel the need to even the playing field a little by giving her free dinners
@Kkaos So many whiny men... I can see why so many of you are single.
Haha I agree. These guys probably have small dicks too.
But I'm not single? I'd only be single if you were my only option.
I'm sorry, but if you asked her to dinner, then you issued the invitation you should be willing to pay for her meal. If I invite you to my house for dinner, I am not expecting you to bring me dinner, cook for me, or provide a venue, I have taken that on by inviting you. It is the same thing when you ask someone out. If you aren't willing to pay for it, don't ask.
Also, Chivalry WAS sexist.
But 90% of the time women won't make the first move and wait to be asked out. Society still literally expects this behavior. lol
@MrNameless that is true, and women who do make the first move often are not responded to well. Though it was how things got started with my second serious relationship.
Most of the time buying dinner for a lady is how men get their foot in the door! No I don't feel like it is buying her, especially if I asked her out! Granted, there are gold diggers out there, but paying for a dates dinner, is really chivalrous if I initiated the date to begin with!
I think splitting should be a natural, mutual agreement
The voice of reason. Glad to see there are women out there with commonsense.
Most of the female responses here are just more proof women have no interest in real equality and are in fact the biggest hypocrites in human history.
I don't know what to say to this post as a housegirlfriend... I must be a gold digger :-p everything is paid by my partner
sorry, but this whole post is stupid. Throughout history men have always been the providers. If you're too cheap to pay for a woman's dinner, you don't even deserve a girlfriend in the first place. Most women won't even text you back if you don't pay for her dinner anyways.
Thats the problem. you're living in the past. Welcome to the 21st Century. Women are not the weaker sex. They are created equal.
He understands that. You've failed to understand his point, which is against double standards. Ok, will live by history, men will pay for dates and provide. Fine. But then women can't have jobs, they belong in the kitchen and are inferior to their husbands. If that's how you want it.
Yeah, but it's kind of expected that men take the lead in relationships and be chivalrous and pay for the first few dates. If you want to have an attitude like that, Apope16, that's all very well and fine, but I think women might it repugnant.
Might find it repugnant
That literally makes the women a whore/prostitute
Exactly why it's fun not to pay when we meet girls like you lol cause there is girls out there that dont mind
Don't think there isn't. They get spcecial treatment
OP you can't pick and choose what you get. If we want to talk about what we have been historically and how we should be like our past generations, then the same applies for you. do you really want that?
Seriously anon if the women won't even text him back if he doesn't pay, she is literally by definition a whore/prostitute.
Most girls expect you to pay for the dates even though it's 2017, so suck it up. Otherwise, don't whine and bitch about girls not replying to your offer of a second date. It's not going to change. I love how everyone pulls out the "prostitution" or "golddigger" card when we demand chivalry. Paying for a woman isn't "buying" her. It's called being a man and not behaving like a pussy.
So a prostitute by very scrutiny of semantics then.
most girls will go through a filter a of rejection from guys with sense I guess lol. you are not entitled to free meals. ill pay If I invite being a good host, just like if someone invites you to their house you are supposed to bring something as a sign of gratitude. ''chivalry'' goes both ways and when it doesn't, it just makes you look like a free loader
@FreedomByChoice Most guys who are so hurt by having to pay for a girl's meal are the ones who have probably been rejected and want to get back at us for not lowering our standards lol. And like I said, the vast majority of girls will reject a guy for a second date as soon as she realizes what a cheap ass guy he is.
@FreedomByChoice If paying for a date hurts you so much, then don't date at all. Like I said, it's not going to change lol.
There are plenty of guys who will be more than happy to pay for a date. Those are the real men most girls want.
if she invites me and tells me to pay it looks REALLY bad on my part. honestly, the girls who do this can go and block my number for all I care they will save me the trouble of me telling them no. I am more than happy to filter out girls who think they are entitled to free meals UNLESS she is willing to also take the other side of tradition such as doing laundry, cooking, cleaning. If she can hold both ends of the bargain, then no problem. Sadly, people want to pick and choose these days
@FreedomByChoice good luck finding a girl who will lower her standards to be with a cheap ass guy. Most girls with common sense and self-worth won't.
actually, there are a lot of girls out there who aren't free loaders. you should try it some time. answer me this, if a guy pays for your dinner will you cook for him, clean and do laundry? or are you free loading?
Actually now I test girls to see if they are expecting free dates... the ones that don't get a second date lol the ones that do... we continue to not pay until she either gets pissed or just leaves lol... but if she expects it, she's not getting it hahah
So a prostitute by very scrutiny of semantics then. 2
@bekkesmash My bad, am I supposed to give you all the boyfriend benefits without expecting my needs reciprocated in return? lol
@bekkesmash All I'm saying is that if you want the boyfriend benefits, you need to be willing to take on the responsibilities. It's all fairness, not rocket science.
So like I said... a prostitute then, you literally need a man to pay for things before you will sleep with him, so yeah... whore
@bekkesmash Wanting my needs reciprocated is called being smart, assertive, and not letting cheap ass selfish guys take advantage of them lol. If you define that to be prostitution, you're definitely out of touch with reality.
@bekkesmash You literally want a girl to sleep with you and give you all the relationship benefits for free. That's called being cheap and selfish.
The dictionary defines it as prostitution, you are just explaining the reasons why you are a prostitute, you still arexists onemail though.
Just ignore what she's saying. She's talking complete crap and just trying to protect her idea that it's ok for her to bring nothing to the table. I don't give a shit if a girl will sleep with me because I bought her dinner.
Respect your money and respect yourself. Pay for a girl if you want to pay for her, not because some self entitled moron has tried to scare you into thinking you won't get dates or you'll be less of a man if you don't.
I've paid for girls before and I haven't paid for girls and there's been no difference in the long run. Some women find it even more attractive if you're prepared to stand up to her and not be some little bitch who feels the need to pay for her because his own self isn't good enough.
And we don't have to pay a girl or buy her dinner in order to get her to sleep with us. If we do, she's a prostitute. Nothing more. Sex is mutual, I've hooked up with girls at the club and bought them nothing because they actually wanted to hookup and not use me.
@bekkesmash If living in a fantasy that most women are prostitues makes you feel better, by all means go for it!
I am saying you are a prostitute, I am not including anybody else directly.
@bekkesmash most women as you can see by the responses on here, share the same viewpoint. So like I said, do and think whatever makes you happy 👍🏻
I have seen a few questions on here were most the women say they would prefer to split the bill. If a women has the attitude like you of not going on a second date because the guy didn’t pay, then yeah they are literally a prostitute, anybody who adheres to semantics and basic analytics can see that makes them a prostitute.
@bekkesmash We can keep going back and forth on this all day long. It's not going to change the way the vast majority of women think. If paying for a date hurts your feelings so much, then go find a girl with low-standards who probably wouldn't mind splitting the bill. However, take into account that MOST women worldwide expect you to pay for dates and will assume that you're either not interested or a cheap ass if you don't pay. Don't be surprised if you never hear from them again because that's just how the dating game has always worked.
Every girl I've actually had a relationship with except one - they all paid. And even some more than me. Those were the best people i knew regardless of dating or not
The one that expected it. Lo and behold. She was kinda shitty overall. And now we talk again and she learned not to expect that shit like im her open bank lol
Just gotta show her whos boss really. And if she's not willing to compromise on the paying. Then trust yoursef that you avoided a bad one
So it's a win win for us either way
@TripleAce Haha 😂 "you've got to show her who's the boss". Clearly you're an insecure guy trying to get back at women for rejecting you. Guys like you are the reason we have to recognize our self worth and stand up for ourselves. You want boyfriend benefits?, make sure you fulfill the responsibilities. Nothing is free in this world. It's all about fairness. And if paying for dates hurts your feelings so much, there are plenty of guys out there who gladly will without bitching about it. Go figure.
If you believe that opinion owner, then girls are no good whores/prostitutes by very scrutiny of semantics. Look at he 9 down-votes, guys see you are a whore, which is way worse than a slut.
"Nothing is free in this world" hahahahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahhahahahhahahhahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahhahaha, if your IQ is above 100 you would see how you are calling yourself a whore/prostitute.
insecure because You Gotta show her who's boss lol... I think that means the opposite of insecure hahaha... insecure Guys don't show her who's boss
guys like us are the ones that find the best girls --> and we can easily knock out the bad seeds quickly... the fools that pay get stuck with the girls that will probably cause them trouble for many years to come. It's not true love if you require money... sorry babe lol
@bekkesmash Your IQ must be less than 70 if you think that demanding chivalry in exchange of emotional support, companionship, and stimulating conversation is prostitution 😂 Haha Gotta love this one. I guess every favor must be given without expecting reciprocation in return. Otherwise I'm a prostitute 😂😂😂😂 hahaha
Even more so if you expect to be getting all the benefits without fulfilling your real
@bekkesmash Just look at the opinions provided by females on this post. You're desperately trying to get females to take your side and have failed 😂
LOLZ. I think most men highly disagree as seen by the amount of dislikes. And on this one, I highly agree with Apope16. This isn't a few hundred years ago. If you ike the historical ways so much, build your own time machine and travel back to it. Or go live in the middle east or something. FACT is, people who are MORE developed are going to want change as time moves forward. LESS developed people, ones closer to the minds of cavemen, are going to want to stay the same and tbh, have lazier mindsets. More to the mind of animals. That's how animals also think. The males provide and conquer while the females stay with the babies and feed them. So calling this post is stupid is really ironic. Do you want to think like a caveman or animal, or do you want society to move forward?
@Kkaos EXACTLY! Two way road.
@None11am The guys against what this annonymous girl posted know it doesn't matter whether girls get attracted or not. We don't need women close to us to survive. There is always gay marriage and adoption if anything. It's the 21st century. If most girls depend on guys to pay for dates, then I guess the majority of women are stupid and weak by your definition. I want a strong, independent woman that can even pay for my meal, help fix a car, work in front line combat, and be everything she can be. If she just sits and relies on me for everything, it make her vastly inferior, therefore me inferior. If I am the only superior in a relationship, but I face a couple with both man AND woman superior, I lose. It's ironic the way you see things. The 18th century called. They want their sex toy back.
If most women on here say the same thing, then great! More dumbass sex toys for men of the 16th century once time machines are invented! Have fun!
And this woman is exactly why dating rules aren't fair today. A person like this can use men and expects all the men to come knocking on her door, desperate to have a relationship with her because you are just that amazing for being a woman. Just don't be surprised that all you will end up with at the end of the day will be cats and a cozy blanket, or an ugly guy who will give you really ugly children. You might have an inflated idea of what you are worth on the market, because there is a small chunk of men who is asking every guy out, while in reality a large chunk of men have better things to do than chase self absorbed narcissists as yourself. I'm not going to want to date you just for being a woman with a pretty face. I'd rather spend my days watching porn than be stuck with narcissists are yourself. I'm sure a lot of men feel the same way. You're just not hearing from those guys.
I agree. These are double standards, which just need to go away.
I never accept a guy to pay for dinner/coffee unless he's a friend so I'll pay next time and so on...
I don't accept gifts from strangers.. I'm an independent, educated strong female. I'm not a beggar and I'm not impressed by cheap gestures. So yea there will probably be no second date if you offer to pay for the first one with me
There's a pretty simple reason most guys wouldn't say "if the woman doesn't pay, the she isn't attractive." It's because we didn't ask her out in the first place hoping she'd pick up half the tab! We KNOW she's attractive--that's why a guy asks a girl out to begin with.