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sexes aren't equal. never have never will. honestly.. I've met a lot of girls who offer to pay.. i choose to pay sometimes depends on the girl i'm with and how i view her.
Goodness sense money is a huge ordeal to men these days just eat before going anywhere with them cause they will flip out over it.
If the people that you're chasing is a huge ordeal, over you... maybe you should chase different men.
@WesleyPullen what are you talking about? I have a boyfriend. If money is a big ordeal maybe you should just not ask women out. No date=no spending money.
NO! THIS BS WON'T STAND! There is NO reason BOTH people can't go on a date and pay for their OWN meal! As well as switching off every time after or with some sort of agreement. Women want rights and this is part of it! SHOW you want to be independent and BE fucking independent! I wouldn't treat a woman like shit/sex toy, force taking care of the kids, and make her stay at home, etc. Ever. That's old school and doesn't belong in modern society. BUT if I have that mentality, I expect us to be EQUAL. When I need help repairing things, her to work, pay for a meal, and do other stereotypical "manly" jobs, I expect her help. Or else forget it. Won't work out.
@errorgoodnameunfound no what's bullshit is that you guys now think every woman out to get your money that you're to scared to pay for a simple date YOU asked for. It's rude to ask someone on a date and not be courteous to pay, I did it when since I asked out my boyfriend first so what's the big deal? You guys are so obsessed with you're money and the idea that every woman is gold digger is just ridiculous, and because of that I would just say fuck the date all together. You stay home and ill stay home, you don't have to pay and I don't have to worry about being labeled a gold digger just cause you paid. Everyone wins.
OP, don't bother arguing with these insecure, bitter, cheap ass guys. They're trying to punish every woman for rejecting them after they paid for the date and never texted them back. I wouldn't pay for a date even if the guy asked to split the bill and he certainly wouldn't see me again after that one. I hate cheap people.
@bronzergirl Not insecure, not bitter and not cheap. You should choose your words more carefully.
Do you really want someone to buy you something that badly?
@bronzergirl I don't know if its being insecure or cheap, but its like get over yourself.. no body wants your money that freaking bad. Money is nice to have, i get that, we live in world that slaves us all for money.. but to me money isn't everything. All I want is decent size home, not a mansion and a simple car that can get me from point a to b, it doesn't have to be a mustang or Cadillac either. And for a date, we don't have to go to 5 star restaurant were it cost 13 and up for one plate of dinner that's incredible small. I go to freaking chili's..2 for 22 and thats it.
It's crazy that guys will drop 60 bucks on video game (that might be crap) or 100 and up for some shoes but when it comes to a date, all hell breaks loose suddenly.
Don't date a gamer.
I've managed to quit, personally. It wasn't hard because... there were more important things.
What I am trying to say is once or twice MAYBE the guys can pay. I would first do a few dates were they BOTH pay for their OWN meals. I think it's better to save the paying for each other for special occasions. Like b days or valentines. Or just a random days once the dating has picked up. I may not even go out to eat the first time anyway. It's not worth the loss of money on my side or the guilt of owing something on the woman's side if we end up never talking again. If it's something cheap like Taco Bell though, once or twice MAYBE I would make an exception. Even it ends up turning into just a casual friendship. But nothing fancy. I only have so much to waste.
@bronzergirl Ahem. It's NOT being cheap. It's called being smart and aware. Stop EXPECTING shit from us. We owe y'all NOTHING. AND FYI, I HAD a girlfriend. AND we BOTH payed for our meals at the beginning. WE LOVED each other NOT for money. We found out we TRULY liked each other. We did EXACTLY what I was saying to. Switching off for paying meals, treating each other on special occasions, etc. It was the best one I had ever had. And she liked it too. Basically, what you are saying is that you want somebody wealthy or making it seem like he is. Good luck! Plenty of guys like that. But it likely won't be enjoyable. Why don't YOU stop being a cheap ass and pay your fair share and stop trying to fuck over men? If a man pays, he is either just nice, desperate for sex, or is rich af. Not much else. Likely the latter two. And these guys in the end of the day aren't enjoyable. Im a guy. I know these guys and see and hear from them a lot more. I would know.
That's great that you don't expect an arm and a leg, but for some guys, it's still money. Both men AND women have spending problems. I don't like the guys who spend like that either. Or the women. Cause then it says a lot about them and they need to stop their spending addiction because then if I wanna hang out, they are flat broke. But not ALL guys spend that money on wasteful things and neither do girls. I may be a cheap ass, but it wouldn't just come to dates, it comes for everything. Whether it's food, games, shoes, etc, I save as much money as I can. It's smart. Not giving in to spending money is smart.
If it's not a big deal, then just pay the meal yourself.
I'm am saddened to hear that some women feel this way. Buying a meal is simply a gesture to show that you care for a woman. By no means am I trying to buy a woman by paying for her dinner. This is not to say I wouldn't let a woman pay for the meal on a date or split it with me, as I view women as equals. I ask you to reconsider your opinion if you feel that paying for a meal is simply an attempt to buy the woman.
I didn't read all that. It was too long and seem interesting enough.
However I was curious, does that include if she offers to pay?
Is she buying you if she makes you dinner?
That's not how society works. That's not how any of this works.
If she buys a man dinner she is buying him dinner. Chances are he could pay anyway and doesn't need her to pay. He's there for her companionship, the food is added benefit. A beautiful girl AND a good meal? Excellent.
SHE, on the other hand, doesn't have a job or income and uses men to get a free meal ticket. She isn't interested in spending time with him, she's just hungry and knows he'll pay.
Why do women always have to try to flip the script instead of just being direct and answering the question?
@Harry_Richard
What kind of women do you date? They don't have jobs?
I make 28 an hour. Not amazing, but decent. I have offered to pay many times, but all the men I date want to pay, because they feel like men should. It doesn't hurt my feelings them wanting to pay.
I only date men I want to spend time with, so you must be dating shutty women.
I wasn't just flipping script, I was asking honest questions, because what do you think if that is the case?
My opinion is you need to date better women.
There are no "better women" hence why I stopped dating.
@Harry_Richard LMFAO! she doesn't have a job or income? why not? where do you live?
I never take a female out for dinner on a first date. We'll have coffee and if that goes well, dinner another time. This goes double if you met her on a dating app.
I agree. It makes me really uncomfortable if a guy pays for me, especially in a relationship. I don't even like my friends paying for me, I always pay them back or if they won't accept, trick them into letting me pay for their next meal.
I hate guys who can't pay for dinner even if its just coffee. To me it just shows he has a crappy heart and mind.
Why? What does wanting to treat a woman as an independent and equal person have anything to do with a man being a bad person? I could say that of you if we were dating.
And he could think the same way about you. You're welcome to those thoughts but no self respecting guy would want to date someone like you. I'm happy to pay for a girl if she's grateful for it, would never pay for a girl who expects it or thinks poorly of me if I don't.
@Kkaos But if you don't pay, most women will assume that you're cheap and won't agree to another date even if the rest of your personality is good. I think it's like when chefs smoke in their kitchens, in theory they can do what they want, but people will assume their unclean and won't touch their food.
So if you don't pay... you have a crappy heart and mind?
@Kkaos my point exactly.
@none11am If she doesn't date you because you don't pay she is literally a prostitute.
@None11am If a woman thinks I'm cheap because I don't pay for her, awesome. I wouldn't want to see her again anyway. She's the cheap one for expecting to go out and expecting others to pay for her. You wouldn't expect your friends to always pay for you when you go out for lunch.
Usually I have a good idea of telling the good woman from the bad. If I have a sense that she feels entitled to anything just because she's a woman, I'll happily drop my portion on the table and leave.
Having witnessed shitty women say things like "I only date guys for free meals", it would have to be some sorry, desperate ass guys with no self respect who subscribe to that out of some ridiculous fear of some shitty self entitled girl thinking 'he's cheap'.
And for the record I always pay for my girlfriend when we go out, and we go out to some very expensive places and that's because she's special and she's earned it.
Oh here's a bad seed boys. This one wasn't raised right lol
So agreed there Apope16! Women can't feed off of guys their whole life. I did forget to mention though that if women are also expected to pay, then their workplace needs to start paying and respecting them more. Or it won't work.
@Kkaos hear hear!!
@None11am Not true. SMART women don't expect anything. They are as fully independent as possible. Also, if a chef smoked in a kitchen, yah I probably wouldn't like to eat there. But more than likely, that happens often without anyone knowing anyway. What does it matter? Also if it's weed, I'm all for it XD
If you want me to pay your coffee, it just shows how crappy your heart and mind is.
i don't know if i'd calling it buying her so much as trying to buy her affections but i agree it sure ain't chivalry.
I agree, but...
IF i invite in the 1ST date... i think it's a kindness that I pay. The other date we can see what it will be like... but I do not see problem in paying if I invited and if it is the first meeting.
If a guy offers to pay for a date he was brought up right... if a girl expects a guy to pay for a date, she was brought up wrong.
These are 20th century rules that were invented in times that women had no solid income. Of course men were supposed to pay as gentlemen with a solid income. Welcome to the 21st century! Women outearn men in their 20's. Times change. Stop clinging to the past. In all aspects of our lives we are taught that we are equal, with the exception of our dating lives. Why? Because it benefits women.
@Svennedude2 would you treat your girlfriend to lunch or dinner?
That's why you go somewhere cheap. If it cost more than $20-$40 on a first date. Drop her. That girl is gonna tire both you and your bank account out. Chase a check. Never chase a...
Sounds nice, but unfortunately it will never work. You need better game, man.
LOL.
I always ask the women I date why they like older men. The number one reason is, "Because they don't expect me to pay [for a date]".
You just keep asking the girls to pay and I will keep sleeping with them.
I've seen you post the exact same thing on similar topics previously. You're like a broken record. Like I said to you before, I'll say it again. The women you're dating are USING you, that's why you're dating them. If you're happy with that, more power to you. But don't start laughing at others for having some self respect.
Poor guy. I dont ask the ladies to pay. I just say lets split it. Then after a few dates im sleeping with them or dating them. I feel bad you paid so much money when you could just be a genuine guy with the same result. Lol
@Kkaos
I say the same thing because the topic is the same.
Many would think I am using them. But like any healthy relationship, we use each other.
@Kkaos i haven't really posted on this topic at all. I mostly give other types of advice. Ifbyou are referring to this post, I repeat myself because each response is a separate conversation. Im not MGTOW. im a 21 century feminist rather than a 20th century feminist.
OP, I'm glad that there are men on this post who have common sense. Like seriously.
I expect sex after I've bought her a latte. She has to put out BEFORE she gets dinner on MY credit card.
Yep. Gold diggers are so very disgusting!
It's our job to avoid those money hungry sharks. That's where we men have the power in dating.
So splitting the bill would be a good filter. Last I remember a portion of (modern) women wouldn't mind doing so. But if this is going to happen, then it should be preferably some cheap place, where the wallets aren't taking a significant impact. Then see their reaction.
If it turns out good, then you may have much better odds in the future and slowly but steadily start investing into her.
Haven't you ever offer dinner or drink to a friend of yours? Do you think that's using you? If so, they are not truly your friends.
Hardly ever. Me and the ladies I kick with always split. Dating, friends, no matter. I have on rare occasions paid for shots or even for a date. Usually thats several dates in or if asked. I have paid for women on dates while living in poverty. Always felt used.
No doubt the article is provocative. That is the purpose. to engage a debate.
I wasn't referring to "Ladies", but to friends in general, male friends as well. But anyway, yeah, I got that provoking tone, I wouldn't have used it as well otherwise, wouldn't I? ;)
I have never paid for a guy's dinner. Never in my life. I have always paid for my own. I have had friends pay for my dinner when I was poor. I felt humiliation and shame all as a result of the preconceived notions of man stereotypes of being worthless unless he can pay for other people. I felt so ashamed and humiliated about my male friend paying for my meal that I ate Ramen noodles while flipping burgers just so I could send a check to pay him back. I didn't feel right until I did that. Payment signifies power over someone. If I was a woman I would feel very uncomfortable with a guy paying for me.
There's a difference between charity and sharing, you know?
I don't bother taking women seriously anymore. Most are useless unless you want to get into her pants.
I paid more than a few dinners, I never bought (or hired) a woman.
I don't do it to get anything from her. I was taught that this was appropriate. If a women were to tell me "Don't think that buying me dinner means anything!" I would immediately tell her that I think we need to pay for our own.
Only broke bitches date guys for free dinners.
Heard you've been eating pretty good.