Hello and welcome everyone! In this take, I'll talk bout cushioning: the latest dating trend which is just a result of our fear of heartbreak. So what actually is cushioning? According to the Urban Dictionary, cushioning is defined as being in a relationship or seriously dating someone, yet also keeping around several "cushions"—aka people you text, flirt with, or even date—to cushion the blow if your main relationship doesn't last.
To me, this idea seems quite rubbish. How can you even do this? Making someone think that you like them while you're not that serious regarding it instead you're already committed but still this is an increasing trend nowadays. So, why would someone still do it? because we're too scared of heartbreak. What if she finds another guy? What if she shifts to another city? What if? What that? Our internal fear of getting hurt in a relationship makes us do these types of things.No one wants to get hurt, hence we create backups(boom- countdown starts).
So now you're out and ready to make backups. You start finding potential partners- friends, colleagues, that cute girl/guy in the bar and treat them accordingly because a wise man once said, "A little flirting never harms" and hence you're following his path of enlightment. But over time when you face problems in your relationships, you deal it with knowledge that you have someone at your back and you surely won't end single and disappointed. You're ready with plan B, no matter whether you're fully committed to your partner.
The main con is that it leads to emotional cheating at a point. You'll start feeling a bit distant from your partner, because maybe when they'll see you with your new close friends of opposite sex, they'll feel jealous but won't say anything (modern dating ya know? we're too open) but it would surely increase distances. And if you're already preparing plans for a breakup, you'll eventually get a breakup cause no matter how good are you at keeping secrets, they'll finally know it from somewhere that you were flirting and texting all those girls/guys especially when you two were having arguements and fights. This will probably make your relationship hollow.
If you still have any plans to follow this trend, just imagine once that your partner has a friend of opposite sex on whom he/she rely emotionally. Feels bad, doesn't it? Yeah.
While making cushions, at the end, you'll realise that you've been playing with the emotions of yourself, your innocent partner and your cushions (if they didn't know about your relationship).
If you're using this trick then you are not really giving your love a fair chance. A relationship can never be strong if you're putting half-hearted efforts. Even heartbreaks are important sometimes. Hence, I'd totally advice you to not indulge in this if you want a serious relationship in your life otherwise you can have as many cushions as you want, why just cushions? then you must have fwbs too. For people who are into this, Just think clearly bout it.
This was all for today.Thanks for reading!
Goodbye and Take care❤️