My #1 Tip on Asking a Girl Out Over Text

Everybody communicates now over text. Would I rather you pick up the phone and ask her out? Sure but I get it... sometimes it's just easier to shoot a text. So how does one ask a girl out with the best possible chance of her saying YES. First we need to look at a couple of things not to do.

1. Do not just give her one day and time to choose from.

This will get you a definite NO for sure. The monkey brain feels backed into a corner and it's only chance to escape is to say NO.

2. Do not just give her one day and time to choose from... PART II.

Some like to play the game of which day will she choose. They send a text seeing if she is available on Saturday night and when she isn't they run the table on every other day of the week hoping and praying desperately she will say yes to 1 of the 7 days. This shows to her that you seriously need to get a life. Don't do it.

3. Don't be wishy washy.

Don't send her a message leaving things up in the air and telling her she can choose any night and you will just show up. Again, get a life. This comes off as if you have nothing going on in your life and nobody wants to date a couch potato.

The best way to ask a girl out is as follows:

On a Monday send this...

Hey would you like to get coffee or drinks sometime this week? I am available on Thursday night or Saturday morning. Which one of these days works best for you?

The monkey brain likes this kind of candy. Thursday night could be for drinks or coffee and Saturday morning is really just coffee. You have now given her options on what kind of meeting she wants to have with you. It also shows you have a life and take time for yourself...not just work 24/7. This is very important. A woman doesn't want to date a workaholic.

The monkey brain works in mysterious ways. This is basically just a sales technique but if she wants to meet you than the brain will jump at the chance to pick one of the two choices. Hope this helps in your next quest of asking a girl out on a date. Let us know your tips below and what has worked for you. Peace.


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What Girls Said 17

  • I guess your version sounds most workable. It's just that it sounds so formal... almost like you're going to have a bussiness meeting with a girl but actually it's a date.

    But maybe that's 'cause where I live we're rather direct in the way we speak. I doubt that there is a best way to ask a girl out. I think you should write it however it feels best for you.

    Though that's just my 2 cents, good tips overall :)

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  • That's good advice. I hate talking on the phone with new people, so I wouldn't answer the call anyways. I'll literally let it ring or just decline. I much prefer text.
    I'll also suggest to actually have a plan. Not just "we should go out sometime", then she says "ok, what did you have in mind?" Then your mind goes blank because you forgot to think of a place/activity.

    My current boyfriend, while I was the one who asked him out, he's the one who kept trying to arrange a date so we can meet up and hang. He was extremely persistent despite me saying no and keep delaying it. I didn't want to rush in to things or have him think anything bad about me, so I kept delaying it. He said he thought I wasn't interested and felt i was just trying to phase him out lol that wasn't the case. I just was afraid he'd think it was bad of me to agree to a date so soon. Men can be hypercritical of that and i didn't want any negative interactions.

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    • Most (arguably any sane) guys would perceive that as rejection and give up :)

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    • You had bad experiences? Arsehole men, can yes. But ordinarily a lot of men, including me, would just take that as non-interest, possibly feel a bit hurt with rejection, and move on. Of course, women are worth pursuing when they don't give you much to work with to begin with. But flat out ignoring I would just move on. Something worth bearing in mind :)

    • @Levin I didn't ignore him though. We still talked, many times, I was leading the conversation and initiating it. It's just that I was trying to delay the first meet up. That's all. We still texted every night and day.

  • The best way to ask a girl out is via talking to her.
    media3.giphy.com/.../giphy.gif

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    • How do you propose someone does that when they potentially won't see the other person for 6+ months?

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    • @SteelerNation50 there is a HUGE difference between text and talk. You’re just being clouded by the ease of one and the pressures of the other.

    • Well in my opinion if a guy is asking a girl out via text he will still have to talk to her in person on the date so I don't see how it's such a horrible thing but everyone can have their own opinions.

  • I'm a business major.. so I'm familiar with this marketing technique and it works more often than not..

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  • I'd prefer it if he asked when I'm free. That way I feel like he really cares. Also, there's a chance I'm busy on both of the two days he suggests, and I'd feel bad about rejecting a guy I actually wanna go out with,

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  • I think you're right on here. The worst is "we should get together sometime" I always want to say, oh? 2025 maybe? Way too vague 😂

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  • Not a bad read, some people could really use this

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  • I would much rather talk on the phone with someone because then you can hear there tone of voice when they say certain things and because I’m to lazy to type everything

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  • Useful 👍🏻 Or just ask which day of the week she's free

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  • I actually have to agree with this one. I'm amazed, lol.

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  • The monkey brain? Wtf

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  • I honestly prefer people don’t call me. So a text would be preferred any day over a call

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  • Nice Take

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  • I'd much rather have someone ask me out via phone call or Skype if possible. I hate being asked out through text because I feel like they're too scared to approach me and that makes things awkward.

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  • Good tip! When she says no to both, she should come up with new options.

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  • I hope guys take this advice. I'm tired of the vague "We should hang out "
    Then I offer a day I'm free and time but they don't follow through!

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  • good one

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What Guys Said 26

  • I ask a lady to tell me her favorite cuisine. Suppose she says "Italian food." I reply by asking, "Would you like to know where the best Italian food in town is?" Of course she says, "Yes." I then say, quite smoothly, "If I tell you, then you have to agree to meet me there for dinner sometime in the next week." It is so obviously flirtatious but it usually works.

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  • I actually recently did something like this with a woman and told her I was available the next Saturday, and she was the one who said she's available every night for the week.

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    • Wow... well obviously that is a super huge Red Flag.. start dating someone like that and they will be in your Grill 24/7 with no life of their own!

  • Haha, I've got a much more direct aggressive approach than that. I just go 'Tomorrow. You, me. Coffee. Let's go'. I prefer not to ask questions. Just make a statement and she can choose to go along with it or not. Most girls I've talked to laugh and usually try to make time. Some may not like that approach, but don't really care.

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  • Its good advice, mate, but the effect in person has over attempting to do so over text is the difference between yes and no in most cases. It shows a lot about one's character, however in saying that, I would agree in person is not practical for some and there is nothing wrong with that! Good Advice here!!

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  • from my own personal experience, Sunday, wednsday, Thursday and Friday are usually very good dating days most girls i went out of with were free on these days for some reason, and it doesn't take much effort really just tell her wanna hang out?

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  • Very nice guidance for shy people.

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  • I don't think many ask a girl out over a text... for the first date. It's a good way if you were hanging out all day and want another date or a 1 on 1 date.. if you were with friends earlier.

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  • That's cool. since you asked her, you should suggest the place and activity !

    rather than "you wanna hangout sometimes" ?

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    • Definitely! Always have a place or two in mind for each scenario. Win Win. Nice Tip!

  • I'm not sure I would be one to text a date request... but then it is the way of the times. But if I had the choice i'd rather ask for a date in person, as long as I could get up the courage to ask.. :)

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  • I guess it will work for people who don’t want to talk on the phone, I know women that are close to my age and still text the whole time without talking on the phone even when it’s my phone number and not through a dating site text messaging system

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  • Good advice thanks.

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  • Mind asking a girl out on text and she was like "when do you want to go out?" said I could do Friday and Sunday. She asked about Tuesday... I stopped messaging her after that.

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  • Nah the best tip is to definitely send an unrequested dick pic. Nothing says "I respect you and want to get to know you" more than sending a poorly lit portrait of your partially erect chode staring her in the face.

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  • I agree

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  • Texting what the hell. What is the problem with using your voice. I wish that texting bullshit was never invented. You speak faster then you type. So I don't understand why texting is so popular.

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    • I kinda hate texting too. I prefer being in person there and having conversation over text (texting is only great when the person lives countries further than you or you want to send a funny picture). Plus you can be annoying the other person at the wrong time.

  • I actually sent this exact text to a chic. Im still waiting on a reply.

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  • Okay cool

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  • which is worse, getting rejected over text or in person?

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  • Thanks

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  • I always ask a girl out in person.

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