Work is abnormally slow, so to keep my writing biceps strong, I’m utilizing this sub-par site to prevent myself from getting rusty. I rarely get to write opinion columns or editorials, so I figure this is the next best option.
This site has some of the most “interesting” people I’ve ever seen. Never have I seen a more unrightfully entitled group of folks in my life. I don’t know if an overall lack of social experience causes people to make up expectations in their head or what, but from what I’ve seen from the radical singles on this site, delusion is my only conclusion.
Before anyone gets the wrong idea, all of the points I will list apply to men and women. So, if you call me a crazy feminist or anti-feminist, read this, reconsider, and trip down a flight of stairs.
Here are some of the REAL, BRUTAL, COLD reasons why you’re single but no one on the internet wants to say.
Peeps on G@G. ^^
Your expectations are too high for someone of your caliber
I can’t stand it when I see these openly “always single” people without an ounce of dating experience with a laundry list of expectations. While I see it with females on this site, it does seem to be more prominent in males when it comes to stupid expectations, while women want what they usually want: a mind-reader with ambition who will pay for dates but still respect them as a strong, independent feminist.
- She can never wear makeup.
- She can’t have dyed hair.
- She can’t wear pants or thongs, because they're not womanly and slutty.
- She can never have liked another guy other than me.
- She can’t have male friends or female friends I don’t approve of.
- He has to make money and be educated, but I’m allowed to work at McDonald’s part-time.
- He can’t acknowledge any other attractive females other than me, but I’m allowed to ogle Justin Timberlake and fantasize about him during sex.
- He’s not allowed to get angry or yell at me when I have a psycho shit-fit because that’s abusive and he needs to understand I’m just so passionate.
- He’s not allowed to ever jerk his dick off because that’s basically the same as cheating.
These are a few of the stupid things I see people say.
Most shockingly, is a lot of these gents and gals have never even had a successful relationship. What’s more, is they are typically the most average, unoriginal people you could possibly meet. Nothing about them screams: I CAN HAVE ALL OF THE EXPECTATIONS IN THE WORLD AND I WILL HAVE TONS OF OPTIONS! BECAUSE I AM SUCH A CATCH!
Well, the painful truth is … you aren’t. Sorry.
You may not be a bad person, you may be a good boyfriend or girlfriend if given the chance, but you aren’t “the shit.” You’re an average person like the rest of us, so for you to have a strict code of conduct a person has to adhere to with military discipline is fucking stupid. You are never going to get anyone who fits the absolute PERFECTION you expect.
This isn’t a fairy tale, I get you haven’t experienced a relationship before but it isn’t like the movies. Relationships are sloppy, your partner may not check off every single box in your head. They’re a person, not a Build-a-Bear, you don’t get to choose every little detail your partner has. So, if you meet a great girl who likes lipstick and you don’t, get over that tiny speed bump. If you don’t make a lot of money, maybe don’t expect a guy to make six figures.
At the end of the day, you can choose your expectations. I just suggest you check yourself before you begin raising the bar above your own head.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” true … but every society has a general consensus of what is or isn’t ugly. Sometimes, you’re just born ugly and no one is willing to tell you. No one is willing to tell you because it’s deemed taboo and they don’t want to hurt your feelings. Even I admit discomfort when acknowledging someone as ugly, since I believe most people can improve their appearance or fit someone’s more eclectic taste. As well, most people who proclaim their ugliness are either attractive or average, so when you really find UGLY-UGLY, you may not know how to actually tell them if they ask.
I’m sorry, but the cold, hard truth is there are physically ugly people in the world. What’s worse is when these people have very high expectations, kind of like the people I mentioned above. If you’re 300-plus-pounds, missing teeth and hair, you can’t expect an Instagram baddy with a fat, plastic ass, okay?
Ugly people don’t have to despair, chances are, there’s someone out there who will love you, they just might not be the cream of the crop themselves. Look at Mama June, back in the day she had dudes fighting over her, and she used to look like an overweight horse. You just have to find your Sugar Bear.
OR, you could improve your appearance instead of adhering to this: “EVERYONE MUST LOVE ME EXACTLY AS I AM,” bullshit. Everyone needs to change as they grow, and if you think self-improvement is wrong, that’s half of the problem.
You’re creepy and fucking weird
If you have a habit of internet stalking people, obsessing over them, speaking to them inappropriately, following them around the office or school while you talk about how you had this weird dream that you two eloped to Mexico … you’re a fucking weird creep and it’s the reason you’re single.
I have had first-hand experience with dudes who were outright being creepy with no shame. I’ve seen women do it as well, they aren’t innocent since they seem to think men are so sexually driven that they can just grope or sexually harass them without consequence. OR they think it's totally cool to add all of his exes on social media and grill them about their past relationship before even formally meeting the guy.
It’s never not creepy to force nudes or sexual talk on someone who says they aren’t interested, and it’s never innocent to stalk the actual fuck out of someone and pester them about a relationship, especially if they’re already in one. If someone isn’t interested, leave them alone. If you barely know someone, don’t start the conversation off with how perfect you think they are for you or your weird fetish for licking used panties.
You’re a pussy, flat out
You never make a move. You never indicate you like someone. You never even hint at your feelings towards the person you like … and then have the nerve to get upset when they end up with someone else. You turn into a bitter incel faster than a race horse can piss.
Girls are especially guilty of never making any kind move, since they still think they can just sit on their asses and men will flock with the single bat of an eyelash. This isn’t our world today, men need SOME indication you’re interested to avoid being labeled a creep and wasting their time.
Fun fact: sitting on G@G all day bitching about how single you are is not going to make pussy and cock fall from the sky. You have to go out there and get it like the rest of us.
That is all.
Love Jane. <3