In the other two instances at least you were good enough for someone at some point. What are single people who have never been good enough for anyone supposed to believe? We're seen by others as valueless. We can either get angry at other people for seeing us this way or be ashamed. I'll choose shame, because other people aren't going to stop.
@SpearsAndStones tbh being shameful of their actions isn't for the people left at the bottom of the pile to feel, shame for own actions which may have lead to being single but... feeling shame for being in a position which isn't your own doing is pointless and putting all the problems of why you are single and in some ways accepting there is a flaw with yourself... when if you haven't done anything to lead to that happening then why should any of us fuel those who see as valueless, or accept responsibility for teh actions of others... I won't be feeling ashamed of something I wasn't responsible but rather do what i can to change things...
You are good enough just the women surrounding you are not.. dont change the way you are because there needs to be more good men in the world.. your a diamond in the rift waiting to be discovered
@PeacefulRainDrop I can't change the way I am, and I'm not a good person anymore. Too long spent alone, you stop giving a fuck about other people.Even if I ever was a decent person, I'm not anymore. The lifelong loneliness has made me bitter and unkind and left me with no self-esteem. I no longer want or hope for a relationship with women. I just want to die.
Im sorry you feel that way! Can I message you?
@PeacefulRainDrop go ahead. Shoot
You have to follow me for it to let me
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Everyone settles in the end. We never get everything we want, and the sooner you accept that, the more you get. People like me who haven't settled yet only haven't because we aren't even worth settling for. It's shameful.
@SpearsAndStones everyone is worthy. And no not everyone settles, some are happier living their own lives their way, and others do find that one. If less people settled there’d probably be a lot less cheating on the flip side tbh.
Everyone has some value, but not when it comes to romance. I don't know how it is for women, but to have worth as a man you have a LOT of boxes you have to check, some of which are beyond your control, before you're even considered a "man". And not all men can be "men", because it's a competition. Not saying I like it, but that's the way it is. Women see me, best-case scenario, as a little boy who they need to patronize and protect. Worst-case, every single thing I do has some ulterior motive where I'm trying to get them to touch my pee pee. Either way, I have no value to women as a man. Maybe as a person, but I'm so despondent and depressed, that's even debatable.
And yeah, everyone settles. No one gets their "perfect person".
@SpearsAndStones that sounds like things that are easily fixable with a little work tbh. TThe difference is are you going to look for excuses or crack on with improving yourself. We all have to do it, women too, just look at all the effort they go to to look good and get stable etc, regardless of most guys just wanting to use them for sex at a certain age, we all just keep going despite the knock backs until we eventually win. This is the key.You’re also wrong, some people do get their perfect person (perfection by the way is imperfection that is perfect to them). The lucky ones. I’d rather be in my own than settle personally.
I do work on myself, although it's been harder to muster motivation the past few months, but I work out, I travel, I have hobbies, I have a college degree, I went to therapy for ten years and nothing has changed. Meanwhile, it's never very difficult to find examples of men who think they are god's gift to Earth and NEVER work on themselves with several women's attentions. It seems to me that, as a man, if you admit you have to work on yourself, then you've already lost. Humility is not a "manly" attribute.
But I'm sorry, ignore me. I'm just a bitter pussy
@SpearsAndStones you’ve only lost if you allow yourself to be. And allowing others to define you will do that. Change your mindset, change your life.
Playing the victim will cause anyone to see you as someone that needs taking care of rather than a team partner.
Men and women both want a team player. They need to know that when the chips are down you can take care of them too and it’s not all about them taking care of you. Lose the victim mentality and take ownership.
I am sorry, I shouldn't argue. I just lash out now and get mean online, because I'm redirecting all my internalized self-hatred outward. That said, I don't take back what I said about "putting the work in", being a carrot on a stick. The men to whom women pay the most attention (e. g. my father, my rapist, friends-of-friends) have never had to "put the work in."
And if you’re really struggling then take the time you need first to be blue to get to that stage.
to be *able
I know plenty of men with a victim mentality who still attract women, e. g. "I didn't deserve to go to prison, the cops just had it out for me!" "Well, if that bitch wanted me to pay for her kids, then she should've listened!" And plenty of women too. A victim mentality doesn't really seem to be the common denominator amongst single men either.
@SpearsAndStones yeah but I bet the difference is that they don’t let it run their lives. Also, someone can feel something is unjustified without having a complete victim outlook. And would you say the women they have are quality? I’m not saying that is the common thing amongst single people and I didn’t say women didn’t have this ether. What I will say is that it does seem to be more apparent in people with depression and personality disorders, and it won’t get anyone with it very far.
Thanks for sharing your story ❤️
Lol thanks for sharing your story. I really appreciate it ❤️
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I appreciate it ❤️
@Secret6620 thanks hun❤️
No probs 💕
I can see why you're frustrated for sure. Hopefully things get a little better ❤️
I'd treat you grown up and sensible if you behaved it age is just a number after all!😉😂
I'm sorry dude that sucks :(
Thanks for sharing your story and experience ♥️
Hmm, then I must confess "you are awesome"🤗
@Vanessa134 Unlike spellcheck, as you can see. lol Thanks.
The truest statement. Perfectly written.
I feel like this is a thing that happened...
@bimmy5000 Yes, it happened, but fortunately it didn't happen to me.