Do you feel ASHAMED of being single?

Question

RoxiFromTheDark · Accepted Answer

No, i found myself single and there’s nothing more satisfying knowing I can find my own happiness and i pretty much did. I’m just living my life now a lot happier honestly And it’s because of my son he makes me more happy than I could know. He gave me purpose when I felt like I really didn’t even know if I would ever find one and just like that I got my kid and I feel like i get it now.
Also my therapist told me something that I could say drastically changed my point of view on what happiness even is, she said sometimes we think happiness is more than what it really is, we want to chase something more it’s human nature but the reality is happiness is those little moments you’re happy. The smallest of things even if it’s walking outside and breathing in air and feeling the weathers perfect or even just going to your favorite spot that doesn’t seem like much but you feel comfortable and like you’re having fun that’s life’s happiness and sometimes I think people we tend to overlook that.
I also recognized i needed meds though so this might be more of an anxious depressed persons point of view. Anyways this personally helps me out just being happy with being myself and being in this body because at the end of the day like this is literally your life experience and I think there’s a lot more beyond relationships at least for me. The human experience is Amazing and I’m glad to just be alive, I also had a near death experience before and honestly it made me appreciate just being here taking up room in the world perfectly happy, healthy and safe.

PeacefulRainDrop · Accepted Answer

Personally I am not ashamed.. I find people try and make you ashamed... like my little sister just got married in December.. People have asked me how does it feel she got married before you? I just respond happy for her with a smile best I can.. like no need to rub it in my face.. my dads mom said to me that my time is running out I dont have the right to be picky.. I should try to hold on to a man for once.. I just smile and say trying to find one worth holding on to.. she's like yeah that be hard for someone like you hense why I dont care much for dads side of the family.. like shaming their daughter my aunt Debbie just got a devorse.. my aunt Pat on moms said I remember when she did her mom supported her both for the same reason just not happy Debbie is now shunned.. im in no rush im happy on my own that might be half my issue.. need a guy that I would rathet have his attention then be alone.. no fear in being alone the rest of my life there is fear in marrying a guy.. I can't force him to love me the rest of his life.. rather marry right then just anyone.. I do find it lonely at times seeing couples holding hands and holidays be nice to celebrate with someone but I dont want to just fill that space for the sake of it.. I want to see potential in it leading to a lifetime together or there is no point in being with that person in my books!

SjE78 · Accepted Answer

why should anyone feel shame for being single? being single can be either choice or out of our control, either way there is no shame being such...

lets say, you were in a relationship and they cheated and left you for another man/woman... should you feel shame that they cheated and left you? no...

another scenario, your partner dies and you dont feel right moving on... should you feel ashamed of them dying? upset sure... loss, definitely but shame? never

if however you are single cos of cheating on your partner, then yes... you should feel ashamed, not because your single but because of how you became single

SpearsAndStones · Accepted Answer

Of course. I'm single and I've always been single because I'm not good enough. That's the message you get as a man. You aren't good enough unless you act toxic as fuck. I should start being toxically masculine, because it seems like the only men who DON'T get blamed for that shit are the ones who actually are, because women seem to approve of them when they actually talk to them. They're "real men"!

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

Not at all. I actually don't understand the stigma surrounding being single and why it is viewed as a "bad" or "sad" thing at all.

Many people act as if it is impossible for any person to be happily single. I've had well intentioned friends and family try to push me into believing I needed to start dating again and find a new relationship because they can't comprehend that someone can be happy while they're single, and for some reason think that a relationship is the key to everyone's happiness.

The thing is this; would I be happier single or with someone I don't truly love? For me, this is incredibly simple, and the answer is single.

I don't understand the concept that being in a relationship = happy. I know of several unhappy relationships where two people are incompatible and trying to fit a square peg into a round hole to force a doomed from the start relationship to work. I actually tried it once when I was younger and dumber unfortunately, and never again. I was absolutely miserable.

Also, you can never expect someone else to make you happy if you can't make yourself happy. Yes, a partner should add to your happiness, but they shouldn't be the sole provider of it. I think that's where a lot of people go assuming that single people can't be happy.

Another thing; people seem to assume that single people are undesirable and that the ability to enter a relationship means you're desirable. That's not necessarily true. There are many people who are single by choice because they either want to take a hiatus from dating and focus on themselves, or they feel happier that way. There are also a lot of desperate people who throw themselves at the first person who will accept them, usually other people who are just as desperate, just for the sake of feeling wanted and being in a relationship. There are also people who get used in relationships as well.

I'm not trying to paint relationships in a bad light, but instead trying to bring light to the side of things people often ignore or don't see.

SydneySentinel · Answer

No way. Sometimes it sucks being the only single one in a group of couples but it's definitely not a shameful thing.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Not at all! There's no reason to feel ashamed of being single, especially if you're happy that way.

I feel bad for people that are in relationships just for the sake of being with someone because they think they can't be single or alone- that's pathetic to me.

Desconhecida · Answer

Is there a reason to be? The end of the world is coming and only couples are going to be saved? Goodbye world!

devilish-cutie · Answer

to be completely honest - yes. I wish i didn't but I do. Its mostly cause of my age and cause i have been single for a long time. Personaly id like to have a partner id settle down with by now but I haven't yet met a guy Id like to settle down with. Society also judges you so that is an issues too. People say you must be too picky or not competent enough or ugly inside/out. Not much you can talk about when they all talk about their partners and kids and future together. Then except that its really hard to plan your future out all alone. One shouldn't feel ashamed about things that are not really in their control but are they really not? Anyways I dont envy those people, bunch of them are in unhappy marriages and I have decided to rather be alone than to settle for something id be unhappy with. But I dont like this situation and I wish people werent that judgy.

GhettoGirl · Answer

No not at all ! I'm ashamed I allowed myself to be coaxed into relationships I knew I couldnt commit to. I'm too young and ambitious to be tied to the ritual of monogamous relationships. I'm still getting to know myself I dont want to be so immersed in anothers discovery I lose something of me. Sorry but I only get this one chance to do it so I'm going to do it my way.

ShortCircuit · Answer

I'm not "ashamed" of being single in the sense that I'd feel embarrassed to "admit" that I was single to someone. However, being in a relationship is something I do long for. I have perfectly valid reasons for being single at the moment, but it doesn't make it suck any less.

Neeceeb7 · Answer

There isn't anything shameful about being with someone or not. It's just a place you pass through to the next stop. And if you choose it for life great too. You live your best life

Aethereal · Answer

Lol no. Not at all. I'd have no problem if I remained single for the rest of my life. I realized long ago that if I allow external pressures (what people want for me, what they think of me) to influence whether I enter a relationship, I'd lower my standards to please them while being unhappy. I'd end up wasting both mine and the girl's time.
I know what I want, and I refuse to settle.

Anonymous · Answer

I turn 26 in half a year's time - never had a girlfriend nor my first kiss, nor have I so much as ever been on a single date.

... No shame here. I may feel longing for the emotional connection with and the intimate embrace of a love interest... But then again, I'm a misanthrope; so it's quite likely for the best.

Besides, I have gargantuan plans right now - and I don't need any female to hold me back in terms of my moolah to bring those plans into fruition... And I'd rather have my lack of romantic experience than a kid, like my girl-crazy older brother does.

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Yes because some people be shaming on me because I have no experience with females especially in sexual relations and that I can't have good convos with them when the topic relates to that. It sucks because there's no feeling of what it's like to love and be loved by someone by date or couple. '
No because it's nice to feel like a lone wolf doing your own things without stressing out on something with someone else. So far I noticed like there's many things you have to do with girls to get their attraction, which almost seems as if girls are like a puzzle and once you mess up, you screwed. Like just last week, I complimented a classmate of mine I talk to that she was attractive but then she starts to distance herself and not really talk with me much after that.

My view of it LOL

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Yes and no. Yes, because I feel like there is something wrong with me that women immediately notice and it is only more of a blow when the women that do talk to me ask why I am single. Wish I knew.

No, in the way that I got time to myself and friends, but I also can learn and grown to find out who I truly am along with my purpose.

MattNotMike · Answer

Not anymore tbh, I used to think female attention was a mark of power for a guy, but then I realized that's stupid.

A.) That gives y'all WAY Too much power, you're not special just because you are female.
B.) A relationship with 99% of y'all is a huge "No" for me given how annoying y'all act regularly.
C.) I'm a 6"2 wall of muscle with a major in Computer Science and a growing aptitude for business. None of this matters anyway, 5-10 years from now, hot girls will still be around and I'll be rich. :/

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I'm not ashamed - I think I'd be more ashamed of being in a relationship just because I think its too embarrassing to talk about with people I'm not close to but I don't like the types of people who hit on me because they think I'm datable to them. One guy is a selfish leech who just wants to use me for money and thinks I like him cause I used to be his friend instead of ignoring him like 99% of woman - and another person is a lesbian and I want a male partner - not a homosexual one.

SjE78 · Answer

not ashamed cos i have nothing to be ashamed for... being single isn't a crime nor is it a shameful situation to be in, it's not ideal and it gets extremely lonely, but it was either remain single and wait until the right woman came along or start having fwb/hook ups/one night stands and I'm just not the type who is willing to do that... i prefer commitment tbh so it's just gonna have to remain a state of single until that moment happens when i meet someone special, if i do that is...

LiMBoH · Answer

I used to feel shameful, now i realize i would've been completely terrible boyfriend material with that mindset. Focusing on myself and my own priorities has helped me see the positives of being single.

Although i'm currently in a search to find someone, I really don't mind being independent anymore

Sciencegirl2015 · Answer

Not really, I’ve actually been single my whole life and most of the girls I went to high school with had boyfriends and most of them got pregnant. I have a good job in a medical lab and I’m saving up for a vacation while most of those girls are getting peed on, pooped on, and puked on by their kids 😂😂😂😂

SkipStop · Answer

No. But my family tries to make me feel like I should be in a relationship and moving forward. And it's annoying. I do get lonely sometimes. That's for sure. Probably because I got no friends either. Overall, being single is right for me. It's much easier than having all that stress that comes with relationships. Sometimes I even wonder why men even get into relationships. Sex? Kids?

LaVillaStrangiato · Answer

No way! I love it.  After 18 years of a mostly boring marriage, I feel like I'm experiencing so much more that I didn't even know existed about life.

Y3llow · Answer

Not at all. I'm 19. It's perfectly normal to be single at my age but even if it wasn't, I'm not ready for a commited relationship rn. I also look for a lot of uni traits in a partner and I've accepted that these traits are going to make looking for the right partner very difficult.

Do you feel ASHAMED of being single?

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