How The Obesity Epidemic And Fat Acceptance Is Adversely Affecting Dating

How The Obesity Epidemic And Fat Acceptance Is Adversely Affecting Dating

A lot of people seem to be unaware of this issue that we currently have on hand, but it is one that is very real and is affecting most people in the dating world.

With the rise of obesity rates and fat acceptance, dating is taking a bad turn.

Generally speaking, women are mixed when it comes to dating an obese man. Some say that they find it extremely unattractive, some don’t mind, others say they consider the extra “cushion” a plus.

The same cannot be said about how men feel towards obese women. Most men are against the idea of dating/marrying an obese or “bigger” woman. They consider it a major turn off. Even some degree of being overweight is a major deal breaker for several men (although some don’t mind).

So how is this affecting dating?

Women who are at healthy weight are now more desirable than probably any time in history. They don’t exactly have to be physically fit or look like a Victoria Secret Model, being a healthy weight can give women sooo many more opportunities in dating provided that she is relativy decent looking.

Generally speaking, most men aren’t too picky about someone’s appearance when it comes to dating so being a healthy weight makes these women much more desirable.

So all this compared to the swipe culture of dating app, the dating pool for women who are at a healthy weight has grown substantially while the dating pool for men is shrinking.

And as much as fat acceptance tries to be pushed by Social Justice Warriors, it cannot and will not happen. Most men won’t allow it.

How The Obesity Epidemic And Fat Acceptance Is Adversely Affecting Dating
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  • Varanus
    I don't think people should be treated like shit for being overweight, but at the same time, we shouldn't be lying to ourselves and treating obesity like it's okay. It's not. It's a serious health problem that drastically reduces the quality of life of hundreds of millions of people. It IS a choice to eat healthy, and to avoid overeating.

    And I think you brought up a really interesting point in your take that a lot of people shy away from. A lot of the issues feminists complain about in the dating world are exacerbated by the obesity epidemic. Men in particular tend to be really turned off by obesity, so the attention of more and more men is focused on a smaller and smaller percentage of women. So you have a few women getting this fire hose of attention from guys, which becomes really annoying, and then you have a bunch of overweight women who feel unloved and unwanted, as well as a huge number of guys who can't find anyone to date that they find attractive. Competition breeds aggression, making the whole problem even worse, and since men rarely have any emotional support among friends, we see a lot of mental health problems arise, we see increased violence and hatred toward women (e. g. incels), and other negative outcomes.

    If you're a feminist and you truly care about women's' health and well-being, you shouldn't tolerate behaviors that hurt and kill women. Adopting a healthy lifestyle and encouraging those you're close to to do the same is really really important. So maybe skip the Starbucks and the pastries and sweets, and go for a hike, go dancing, play some sports, and take care of yourself before it's too late.
    LikeDisagree 12 People
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • drsexthingy
    That's not fair to say, especially being the strength of the genetic influence on weight disorders varies quite a bit from person to person. Research suggests that for some people, genes account for just 25% of the predisposition to be overweight, while for others the genetic influence is as high as 70% to 80%. Science shows that genetics plays a role in obesity. Genes can directly cause obesity in specific disorders such as Bardet-Biedl syndrome and Prader-Willi syndrome and others. Take pacific islander for example, pacific island nations and associated states make up the top seven on a 2007 list of heaviest countries, and eight of the top ten. In all these cases, more than 70% of citizens age 15 and over are obese. A mitigating excuse argument is that the BMI measures used to appraise obesity in Caucasian bodies may need to be adjusted for appraising obesity in Polynesian bodies, which typically have larger bone and muscle mass than Caucasian bodies. by studying the genomes of more than 5,000 Samoans, researchers have uncovered a single gene that boosts a person’s obesity risk by upwards of 40 percent. Remarkably, this gene—which appears in a quarter of all Samoans—may have arisen in the population as they colonized the South Pacific.
    As described in the latest edition of Nature Genetics, this “thrifty” genetic variant, called CREBRF, is associated with a 1.5 percent increase in Body Mass Index (BMI). So, for a person of average height weighing around 180 pounds, this gene corresponds to an extra 10 pounds. As noted by the researchers in their study, CREBRF promotes more efficient storage of fat and features “an effect size much larger than that of any other known common BMI risk variant.”Working with colleagues from several universities, Stephen McGarvey from Brown University made the discovery while scanning the genomes of thousands of Samoans. This populations has some of the highest obesity rates in the world, a fact that prompted the scientists to conduct a genetic investigation. Around a quarter of all Samoans involved in the study had the genetic variant, which was associated with 30 to 40 percent increased odds of being obese compared to those who don’t have the gene. At the same time, this gene is virtually non-existent in European and African populations and occurs at very low frequencies among East Asians.
    “Although we have found a genetic variant with a reasonable biological mechanism, this genetic variant is just one part of the many reasons for the high levels of BMI and obesity among people ,” And that is just one of hundreds of cases, where genetics have made it hard if not impossible for some to lose weight. It's not always as cut and dry as healthy eating and exercise.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • MrCryptic
    I never really thought about this aspect but it's mostly true. I know I, and most men don't like fat women so that disqualifies a lot of women right off so 90% of men are going for about 50% of women creating a lot more competition for men to get a slim or average girl. If they were heathier/slimmer then that percentage would jump and there would be less single men AND women.

    The thirst is real though where you'll have decent looking men settling for fat girls just to be with someone. If more of those men just refused fat women altogether or society started encouraging healthy bodies then the problem would be solved eventually.

    Another issue I think that is not addressed at all is that "big" butts and big hips are in now so women delusionally think that they have to eat more to get that big butt that men want but they don't realize that the rest of their body goes to show sh*t and it's gross but they go around thinking they are hot because men love big butts and big hips and big teddies but what they don't realize is that we like them big but not fat. We like them tight and not too jiggly. We like big hips and big butts on average/slim/athletic female bodies.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • cavmanier

      The fat guys are just as numerous as the women though so the girls are settling as well. It's not like 90% of guys are thin lol.

    • MrCryptic

      @cavmanier Correct. However as was stated in the OP and my own observations, women do not care about looks nearly as much as men do, I've even known a few girls who ONLY dated fat men, so although it's a valid point, it's not a very valid argument (not sure if you were trying to make one.) If you're strictly speaking on the health aspect then, yeah, that's a much more valid argument.

    • cavmanier

      Maybe we disagree. I agree that generally men care more about looks. Girls generally do significantly care though. Of course men can often compensate with wealth. That doesn't alter their preference though. I've noticed that two things happen: one is people tend to prefer a similar or complementary size to themselves (skinny guy with skinny girl, fat guy with fat girl), and also that many fat people prefer thin partners. So people tend to like their partner the same size or fit / thin. What doesn't happen (very rarely) is thin / fit men or women preferring fat partners. Like I said, money can compensate but that still isn't their preference.

      I personally don't believe people don't care about looks at all unless they are asexual, have low sexual desire or they are being politically correct to appear like good people.

      Do an experiment. Put a fit guy on any dating site and see who his matches are in contrast him with an obese guy. The big guys matched aren't going to be fit models, unless he has a Lamborghini next to him. Am I wrong?

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  • passinby
    These obese people are going to need turkey basters to mate in the future.

    "Women who are at healthy weight are now more desirable than probably any time in history." may as well sell your soul.

    "And as much as fat acceptance tries to be pushed by Social Justice Warriors," yeah but it "feels" good per the lib right brain stimulation.

    Obesity is natural selection such that disease and lack of reproduction will kill them off.
    Like 5 People
  • princessfromjupiter
    The real question is, why do you care?
    We can't force people to lose weight so we might as well focus more on improving ourselves instead of nagging around on others. If we all did that I'm pretty sure we would all be happier.
    LikeDisagree 15 People
    • NatashaJ

      Most of the world even SOUTH AFRICA is getting more obese people so he can rant all he wants more men and women are being obese.

    • I mean, you can't force a person to take a shower either.

    • NatashaJ

      @beefyburrito32 no argument huh because princess and I have good points?

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  • CindyRuns
    It's time to stop this PC stuff and recognize one simple fact - Being obese is bad for your health, is pretty likely to shorten your lifespan and in many cases restricts things you can do in your life.

    I am not for a moment suggesting that everyone needs to be rail thin either... just should maintain a healthy weight.

    During a recent trip to a buffet restaurant, there was a couple at an adjacent table that had a pile of plates on their table and the two of them together weighed more than 600 Lbs. There is a simple reason for that... the pile of plates.

    Mike Huckabee, a well known politician, wrote a book about his struggles with his weight that was called "Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork" ... a pretty accurate assessment.
    Like 9 People
    • The truth is everyone is digging their grave with a knife and fork though hell my uncle was always huge and when he turned 65 he got heart attack and strokes but 9 years later he is still here some thin people will die young of a heart attack I don't condone someone weighing 400 lbs or something but if they wanna eat themselves to death it is up to them or they might be fat pigs and still live to be old.

    • I agree with the heart of your message, CindyRuns. Obesity is pandemic in this country. The burdens that come as a consequence of obesity are tragic. Many obese people, especially children, have very little awareness of what they are doing. Eating is a form of pleasure for them as well as sustenance. What makes this toxic is the “addiction” that also comes along with being a food-a-holic.

      I believe that most people do not live their lives with the consciousness of a commitment to well-being. This is reflected across all areas of human development such as health, intellectual acuity, personal integrity, and social connectivity, just to name a few.

      If people did have this commitment they wouldn’t patronize fast food establishments, subscribe to social media networks, become indebted, or engage in toxic relationships.

      The problem of attempting to change a person’s behavior or raise their consciousness is a Sisyphean task. The same applies to attempting to solve a pandemic disease through regulating industry. This country tried this once in the past with the 18th Amendment. The effects of the law were more disastrous than the disease itself to individuals.

      I believe that there is a way through this problem, CindyRuns, and it doesn’t come from focusing on obesity or eschewing PC.

      I was raised in a military family (five generations) with a large network of relatives and friends who are in the military as well. Almost to every man, woman, and child…we are physically fit. And while you might think we “shame” people who are not fit, the opposite could not be more true. To state it pithily, we help each other “Be the Best We Can Be.” And that comes from an intense esprit de corps. Community Consciousness. It’s a powerful thing, amiga.

    • CindyRuns

      @NightOwl2019 My great grandfather smoked all his life and died at age 75 of something totally unrelated to smoking... he was otherwise in pretty good health for a 75 year old man. He like to brag that he outlived every doctor who told him to stop smoking. Would I recommend you take up smoking... No way in hell !!!

  • Rexnine9
    OMG. I can't add anything to the discussion?

    I really can't. Especially when someone likens a daily trip to yoga class to anorexia or bulemia? Really?

    If you're morbidly obese;
    you're mentally I'll period.

    I am so fucking sick of people refusing to deal with mental illness.

    Love each other and stop putting each other down.

    There's no cure for mental illness. There's no money in it!
  • Scaramanga
    So to reiterate: You think that the "fat acceptance movement" has led men to accept a broader range of women, butbnot vice-versa.

    I honestly have my doubts. My impression is that "fat acceptance" is mostly a fringe feminist phenomenon, and lots of feminists aren't even straight.

    Also, what about the recent rise of fitness culture? I never heard men willing women to work out until recently.
    Disagree 2 People
  • MusicMayhem
    Well many fat women know they aren't girlfriend material so will hookup with you easily (like seriously they'll invite you to their place straight off tinder to fuck) and then act super awkward and embarrassed afterwards as it's the closest they'll get to a guy.
    Like 1 Person
  • bamesjond0069
    Yeah. Id rather be single than with a fat girl. Its just literally disgusting like id puke if my cock touched her. I dont care how hot a girl is as long as she's not fat.
    LikeDisagree 11 People
  • Ellie-V
    I dislike when people in general complain about having obstacles in dating/relationships. Prioritize something else and you won’t have much to worry about.
    Like 2 People
  • Littlewife
    I hate the way the fat acceptance movement comes out will balony like " healthy at any size" when every doctor disagrees as does medical statistics
    Like 3 People
  • NatashaJ
    Look the problem with fat shamers is I see a few fat shamers trying to turn women into bulimic or anorexia. The shit they say might cause eating disorders like that I saw one photo of a guy tweeting if you are 130 you are a fat cow. If you really do care about the obesity issue maybe say something about these assholes who are trying to cause eating disorders with their stupid statements. The worst part is cheering on people who might be skinny from a eating disorder I think telling people how to dangerously lose weight is way worst then someone being fat.
    LikeDisagree 9 People
    • unomilkis1

      Yea fat SHAMING is a bad thing just because it's displaying one's inconsiderateness towards other human being. But also, "turn women into bulimic or anorexia" ? this is a complete nonsensical point, no matter who it is no ones making anyone do anything with a gun next to their head. Thats what they blame and thats what they turn to when they're having hard time achieving their goals. Yea your feelings get hurt and you may do things out of negative feelings, but those are YOUR feelings no one elses. And you let yourself depend on others' words? pfftt good luck living out life.

    • NatashaJ

      @unomilkis1 Not true there blogs online that teach girls how to be bulimic or anorexia and I have seen photos of people trying to say fuck up shit if your land whale if you over 120 this and that. Studies have show even looking at female celebrities make girls hate their bodies so picture if a girl gets shame constantly by random people about her weight. Mindy Kaling a famous celebrity even wrote in one of her books she got shame so much in high school when winter break came she starve herself during that break and lost all that weight and had loose skin and her mother who a doctor saw and was alert. I do believe if the shame is extreme some girls will go extremely so they can feel happy. So asshole if you want to think verbal shaming someone is not harming someone who not mental stable is okay be my guess but don't act like someone who not mental there will not be affected bad.

    • NatashaJ


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  • Anon-ymous1
    Well, the issue is that I agree with the premise of your Take, and that the decision to coddle fat people into thinking being fat is okay is a really stupid fucking idea, but I can't follow you with the "Social Justice Warriors" argument; this has nothing to do with that. That term is a moronic term that no one should use, including the people who call themselves that.
  • constantine15
    Women are finding out how short men feel.

    Myself, I dislike fat women, not because of the fatness per se, although obesity is definitely repulsive... It's more about the lifestyle and health of the girl that I'm concerned about. I don't want to deal with sloppy diets and laziness... and eventually health problems down the road.
  • malegender
    this is an excellent take, I couldn't agree more. A fit woman of low intelligence and average facial features can now get some of the most eligible men because men's choices have been reduced by obesity. I'll go get a foreign woman or stay single before I lie down with a lady who is not thin.
  • chrisbigman
    "Healthy Acceptance Movement" should indeed be a thing. We should be encouraging healthy practices, for unhealthy people - whether they are very light, very heavy or average. But shaming people is not the way to do it.
  • John_Doesnt
    Fat people are gross, but so are judgmental people. Everybody has physical flaws and it's rude to point them out or single somebody out based on a single physical trait.
  • softrosie
    Exactly. The point shouldn't be to throw your mental health out in favour of physical health (obsessively dieting), and it shouldn't be throwing out physical health in favour of mental health (what the fa movement has become).

    It should be about loving yourself enough to take care of yourself, mentally AND physically.

    My highest weight was 310 pounds. I had joint problems, skin problems, obviously I had a bunch of other problems... and I haven't even reached 20 yet. It's not healthy to be obese. It's healthy to take steps in the right direction.
    Like 1 Person
  • mattdzz
    This isn't a question, so much as it is a statement.
    For myself, I'm into petite and fit women, which pretty much excludes anyone over 130, unless they're very tall. I think this is part of the reason why many more white men are turning towards Asian women, as white women can gain a lot of weight after having children if they're not careful. Otherwise, I don't think that it's shrinking the dating pool, just making most girls who are at normal weight think they're instagram models. Nothing serious to note.
    Like 1 Person
    • NatashaJ

      *eye roll* or more like creepy white guys go after Asian women for a fetish and to have someone who will most likely never leave them.

    • mattdzz

      @NatashaJ First off, your "creepy" statement is completely empty of any substance. That's just a term you girls use arbitrarily for anything you don't like, which in another context would be perfectly fine. Having a preference for a race isn't a fetish. Also, insisting that Asian girls will never leave you is both incorrect (they certainly can and do leave), and patently racist as it draws a caricature of Asian women as: submissive, thin, obedient, etc., which from experience rarely reflects reality.

    • NatashaJ

      Too bad you haven't look into mail order brides it not crack up to be for them. No shit homeboy I love how you men like you bring up mail order brides saying American women are worst yet plenty of Asian American here yet you want to pick a woman out of a poor country to marry. There clearly a hidden agenda here don't try to pretend it an innocent reason why men prefer women from poorer countries. Usually relationships don't late anyway but keep telling yourself that these relationships are so much about then Americans who date other Americans.

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  • unomilkis1
    You know the most fucked up thing is these "fat acceptance" "plus size beauty" shits are mostly aimed for obese women. You can even ask the obese women if they'd date obese guys, and they would fuck right off.

    You see all these women who are for fat acceptance, and maybe they themselves are not even obese, but as soon as you ask if they'd date an obese guy? story changes, where is the "fat" acceptance? they're not asking for compassion or equal acceptance, they're asking for extra gender based privilege. So hypocritical it is disgusting to the core.
    I definitely DO NOT believe fat shaming is acceptable at all.

    On the flip side I also do not believe in supporting poor health choices.
  • RationalMale
    Damn straight. Dating is SO much tougher when half or more of women are fatties.
    How The Obesity Epidemic And Fat Acceptance Is Adversely Affecting Dating

    Girls, just imagine dating if half of the men on dating apps didn't own a car, have a job, and were high school grads at most.
    Disagree 1 Person
  • Lance1965
    I don't think it has affected dating at all. It is just the same as it has been for many years.
    Disagree 1 Person
  • aa180
    BBW girls are hawt.
  • Interesting
  • Secretgardenblood
    Good take
    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • Anonymous
    I agree with your sentiments but you're off base regarding a point that makes you sound a bit like a white knight.
    Go to a wal-mart and see how many 200lb+ women are walking around with families. It's adorable that you tried to make fat women sounds like pariahs but it's not true at all.
    Women want fat men so rarely that it's considered a fetish. Talk shows have episodes based on it. They are in tv/movies always the bumbling idiot or a disgusting creep.
    So if you want to call out SJW morons, try not to sound like one yourself.
    Like 2 People
  • Anonymous
    Women are more accepting when it comes to dating an obese guy? Who keeps furthering this lie?
  • Anonymous
    This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not okay. This is nothing but fat shaming nonsense!
    Beauty is subjective first off. EVERYONE is beautiful!
    Besides, the real beauty is on the INSIDE!
    Hot take: Maybe you should stop being a hateful trump supporting incel and get laid.
    LikeDisagree 24 People
    • If you ever watched a gastric surgery, you would know that beauty is definitely not inside...

    • How does being a fat shamer correlate to being a Trump supporter or an Incel? That makes no sense. For example, There are liberals who do not support the “health at every size movement.”

    • Anonymous

      @NerdInDenial There isn't a single "liberal" who would be against healthy at every size. They would not be an ally against drump.

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  • Anonymous
    I know there’s an expression “mind your own business”

    Well, now there’s “mind your own body.”
    LikeDisagree 6 People
  • Anonymous
    I partly agree but I Think obese people should know they are beautiful but that we should try to get them to be more healthy. That's more what the movment is about but sometimes it goes too far.
    Curvy is a whole other thing than overweight so curvy is what we should accept more in society because you can be healthy and curvy. But overall like you said healthy should be the ideal. Not underweight or overweight, healthy is the way.
    Like 2 People
    • Problem is many fat people call themselves curvy as they are in denial that things have gotten out of hand.

    • Anonymous

      @MusicMayhem well you can be curvy and overweight but that's not good. Being overweight is the problem and people need to know the difference because it's two different things. If someone is overweight and not curvy and claims they are just curvy then thats not good at all.

    • It's not good. But guys have needs so they'll keep lowering their standards for a fuck with obese girls. If guys didn't still see these girls they'd be more aware of the problem and do more about it due to the lack of attention.

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