Absence of a Love Life: MyRant

I think this could technically be under Dating. I'm open to replies and opinions.

I am a senior in high school. I have never been been crushed on (that I know of), never been asked out, and never had a first kiss. I am legally an adult, yet I have not reached the basic milestones most teens have already experienced.

Over the past two years, I've had a growing anxiety over my situation. Is this normal? Why me? Am I ugly? Is it signs of things to come? Am I truly undateable?

I'm reminded of this hole in my life every couple months and pathetically cry over it like I'm doing right now. I think of what I could be doing differently, being myself and averagely sociable isn't enough. I have friends, I have a good family, I have future plans. My life is pretty stable compared to most teens.

I'll be in college soon, I have a feeling most of my potential interests will be busier and have less time to hang out compared to senior. I don't want college to be romantically uneventful like high school. I don't want my whole life to be uneventful like high school. I'm just trying to aim for a first kiss by the end of senior year. I'm open to just about anybody in my ~80 big senior class, I want to know what it's like for someone to like me, even for just one fleeting moment.

This is killing me on the inside, I wish I could tell my family or friends. But they know the basics of it and I don't want to seem like a broken record. Who would want to hang around a broken record? I still have hope. I haven't turned into a toxic femincel, I blame myself instead of guys. After my crying fest and pity party for one, I go back to life and school like usual. I talk to people, work, have fun with friends and family. Once in a while though, all I can think of is:

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anything could happen in the future. I didn't even have a girlfriend until I was about 25. I had a withdrawn, jacked-up life growing up, and the only friends I had were a few nerd guys in the same situation. I didn't even TALK to girls in high school, because I didn't know what to say to them, they usually made fun of me, and I figured they just thought I was a worthless piece of shit anyway.

    Getting a first kiss or having a girlfriend was just a small part of a much bigger problem: my entire SELF. After high school, I didn't think much about the relationship thing, but I started doing a lot of growing up, learned and did things I wanted to do, which then expanded my horizons, helped me break out of a lot of shells, and gave me a feeling of accomplishment and self-confidence. Girls just kind of floated into and out of the picture along the way, and eventually I was able to connect with them.

    I didn't stress about it much, but it just eventually happened.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are putting far too much pressure on yourself to follow what society thinks your life path should be. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not having a love life in high school! Nothing! You're doing just fine.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzn_QLV0a5Y

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What Girls & Guys Said

411
  • There is no deadline for love. Only fertility. You don't have to compete with others. And avoid letting society control your life. Just follow the law and ignore everything else. It will make you much happier. Trust me.

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  • From my own experience, I have really benefitted from an absence of a love life, and the feeling that you don't need someone to love you to feel complete in yourself. You have to be happy in yourself and who you are before anyone else can love you

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  • As someone who has never been romantically involved, you get used to it. If you're not hideous or fat then it should be an easy problem to fix with some effort.

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  • Haha! Just wait for college freshman year. Upperclassmen boys will pounce and swarm you.

    Go to the school’s first week ice breaker and orientation events with an agenda and flirt with boys. Get them to give you their numbers and hope they text you to hang out or get a meal or w/e.

    Hook line and sinker.

    Fun fact: everyone else feels the same way you do, especially guys, especially virgin guys going to college.

    If you don’t want to wait around, ask them yourself. It’s okay to ask guys for their phone numbers. It removes uncertainty for them, puts the ball in their court.

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  • There are older people with zero love experience, myself included. There's still hope for you.

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  • I have heard of people in there 30s and 40s never been kissed or dated. your not ugly your putting education 1st and that's good. go in adult shop and buy yourself a rabbit. its for pleasing female give u orgasm. kissing to many frogs ain't good option. you will feel more relaxed as you get older mabee men don't attract you. i know two young girls who have been holding hands for 10 years I think that's special. i am not Gay myself but I except we are all different. dont get depprest you should be joyfully you have family and friends your health and good future ahead as President of USA or what ever you want to be World is your Oyster

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    • u r disgusting. she's 18 and ur 60 and ur telling her to go to a sex shop. u is out of pocket sir!

    • Show All
    • @fulloflife This is a site where people are free to ask about their love lives. Older individuals have plenty of advice to give, and the asker is of legal age, so his age is irrelevant.

    • @fulloflife he is not hitting on her just giving advice

  • Don’t complain until you’ve been to college and have gone to parties and STILL don’t find someone

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  • There's nothing wrong with you other than you keep thinking there must be something wrong with you. We are what we DECIDE we are.

    So just keep doing what you're doing, pursuing your aspirations and life mission, and making yourself more awesome every day. This way you'll acutally have SOMETHING OF VALUE to offer in a relationship. Most people don't have much, they're looking for someone to FEED THEM.
    So when you least expect it a great guy will happen along. Your life will be ready to share it with someone else.
    Keep developing your attraction traits, and your social skills. For love can't start till attraction does, and then there needs to be a conversation.

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  • 6d

    It's different for everyone live life at your own pace

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  • Nothing is wrong, you just haven't met the one.

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  • Good take

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  • You need to take a step back and just breath. You may not be rich today but maybe tomorrow. You may not know someone today but maybe tomorrow you will. You may not have anyone to love today but maybe tomorrow! I felt the same way too and I rushed things. All throughout high school too my knowledge no one liked me. I never went out to dances cause honestly had better things to do. In college I set out to be more social and the more social I got the more connections I made. I had my first fling when I was 20 and I was head over heals for her but hella awkward. My first kiss to her was definitely unforgettable but I felt what love could be for the first time. But then she broke my heart. A few months later I gave up my virginity to someone I truly loved but she couldn't stay faithful to me. I'm 21 now and I've experienced big things I needed to understand about love in just a year. I have regrets but I've learned not to rush. I've slept with one girl and I've kissed 6. My numbers are low but everyone has been for a damn good reason because I preserve myself for who seems the best. So after rambling if you learned something from my experience, know your self worth and and DO NOT rush. Love really does just happen when you least expect it.

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  • Its sad society makes you seem like a failure if you haven't had sex and shit by 16

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  • you are sooo damn young! college will be amazing! try to have good grades but also focus on having a social life and engaging with people, having hobbies, joining clubs etc.

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  • Lol not even old enough to have attended college and bemoaning no one dating you.

    Try being in your 30s without ever going on a date or having any kind of intimacy with someone.

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