I think this could technically be under Dating. I'm open to replies and opinions.
I am a senior in high school. I have never been been crushed on (that I know of), never been asked out, and never had a first kiss. I am legally an adult, yet I have not reached the basic milestones most teens have already experienced.
Over the past two years, I've had a growing anxiety over my situation. Is this normal? Why me? Am I ugly? Is it signs of things to come? Am I truly undateable?
I'm reminded of this hole in my life every couple months and pathetically cry over it like I'm doing right now. I think of what I could be doing differently, being myself and averagely sociable isn't enough. I have friends, I have a good family, I have future plans. My life is pretty stable compared to most teens.
I'll be in college soon, I have a feeling most of my potential interests will be busier and have less time to hang out compared to senior. I don't want college to be romantically uneventful like high school. I don't want my whole life to be uneventful like high school. I'm just trying to aim for a first kiss by the end of senior year. I'm open to just about anybody in my ~80 big senior class, I want to know what it's like for someone to like me, even for just one fleeting moment.
This is killing me on the inside, I wish I could tell my family or friends. But they know the basics of it and I don't want to seem like a broken record. Who would want to hang around a broken record? I still have hope. I haven't turned into a toxic femincel, I blame myself instead of guys. After my crying fest and pity party for one, I go back to life and school like usual. I talk to people, work, have fun with friends and family. Once in a while though, all I can think of is: