Why most dating advice for men is bullshit


I bet you've heard the advice to "just be confident". "Women love confidence!". Well it's all basically crap.


I've learned this the hard way. I've been focusing on improving my confidence with women over the years. I'm at a point where I don't think I can get any more confident. My rejection rate is about 90%. Keep in mind I've been offered a job as a male model so I'm quite good-looking.

So I thought I'm surely doing something wrong. I got confidence in spades, I should be a chick magnet now. But no, turns out 10% success rate is actually above average. 5% is considered a good ratio.

And people told me I should be happy with this, I mean it's a good ratio. I should just accept guys have to get rejected and work a ton to even get laid. But that doesn't make any sense. Can you imagine a sexy girl with a thick butt going to a club and getting rejected 9 times out of 10?

Can you imagine her having to do 10 approaches to get laid?
Can you imagine her having to do 10 approaches to get laid?

So if a sexy girl can get laid easily and women are attracted to confidence then why wouldn't a confident guy get laid easily? Answer: because confidence is wayy overrated.

Imagine you're a salesman. You have a nice car you're trying to sell. A lack of confidence may scare away your customers because they'll think something must be wrong. But imagine you're the most confident salesman with an ugly, rusty old car that doesn't even work. No ammount of marketing will make you successful, people can tell it's not a good car. Now imagine you're selling a Lamborghini. Do you think it's going to be hard to find customers for a Lamborghini? You don't even need to sell it, at that point you're just looking for the best offer.

No ammount of confidence will make an unsexy guy sexy, just like no ammount of confidence will sell the ugly broken car.

So what makes a guy sexy? I'm glad you asked.

1. Physical appearance (this is why I have above average success ratio)

2. Social status

3. Material resources

4. Preselection (having other women hit on you)

Here's a post where even women agree with me on this

Is this what really makes men sexually attractive?

Can you imagine a Fight Club era Brad Pitt driving a Lamborghini to a party and not getting laid? Even having to try to get laid? This is what really makes a guy sexy.

Mr steal yo girl
Mr steal yo girl

Shallow? Yes. But can we judge if we are attracted to boobs and a round ass? Let's just acknowledge sexual attraction is a shallow thing for both men and women and stop perpetuating lies

Why most dating advice for men is bullshit
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Liam_Hayden
    " I'm at a point where I don't think I can get any more confident. My rejection rate is about 90%."

    Same here. But I also summarily reject, by not approaching, 80%+ of women so I just accept it as their flip side of what I do. And unlike your model-like looks, other than my height (6'2) and green eyes I am a solid 5, as average-looking as they come. What I do is ignore the rejections and move on. The problem for most guys is that they give up after a few rejections.

    Some of your points about attraction might be valid, but when I approach a random girl and she says yes, she doesn't know that I own two houses and a business, so for me the only thing that might apply a little bit is my height and the rarity of my eye color.
    Is this still revelant?
    • You should wear a tuxedo or at least a blazer. Also good Black leather shoes and an expensive watch. You're wealthy so show it off

    • It's not their "flip of the coin" cuz an average girl can go to a club and get laid on demand

  • cavmanier
    I agree. Confidence is highly highly highly overrated. Being attractive and having decent social skills is what matters. Also, it can be important to be the "type of guy" they are interested in, in terms of style, looks personality, etc. Humor is also highly highly highly overrated. It's nice to have but very overrated i m o.

    What situations are you getting a 10% success rate in though?
    Is this still revelant?
    • I measure success rate in clubs because it's easy to approach women there and girls who have a boyfriend rarely go clubbing

    • cavmanier

      I would think success with women would be easy mode in a club. From my experience girl seemed interested in me about 50 to 75% of the time there. I would even routinely get girls trying to talk to me. Girls were pretty outgoing in clubs I found.

      I thought 10% would be like a grocery store lol.

    • Lol how

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Most Helpful Girls

  • snappysierra
    Being an ugly girl is like being a man. They give us unattractive people the same advice. "Guys love confident women" They love hot women very like women want hot guys. It's just the way dating is.

    What should be advice is you don't need a partner to bring value to your life. You are your own person. You have your own interest. Your own likes. Your own body period. It's okay to be happy being your own person.

    Side note: Love won't pay your bills
    Is this still revelant?
    • It will if you're married to a millionaire

    • Then you lack your own independence. The millionaire has power over you now. Because they have the money and you don't. They can kick you out anytime and your left with nothing. But who has all the money? The person who threw you away.

    • This is actually funny cuz I've always been thinking being an above average man is like being born an ugly girl like a 3/10. You don't get checked out, you don't get approached, you almost have to beg to even have sex

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  • Commander_Red
    How about a good personality because he first couple of paragraphs were purely based on looks alone. That's your problem. I don't even know what you look like but reading this, I wouldn't even want to meet you because you seem very bitter and that your only goal is to bang someone and that may be okay with some women but not the majority who are apparently rejecting you.
    Is this still revelant?
    • I wonder where you got that idea because it's completely wrong. Why do I seem bitter, because I said it's bs? It is bs.

      Should I add two A4 pages about my life and my personality before every take do that people don't have to make false assumptions about me?

    • I got the same impression because he focused on his looks, confidence, and getting laid.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • ManOnFire
    A few good points in here. The reason most dating advice for men is bullshit is simply because people view men as in some way being in trouble and are in need of help trying to "get the ladies." When actually there are plenty of guys out there who are really doing just fine. It's the ones who aren't and are excessively vocal about it that make it seem so common. I do understand what your Take is saying and I do think you're right on some parts.

    P. S. The females who commented and are talking about if a woman knows a guy is only trying to get sex won't be interested and find it unattractive is also bullshit. Because when they're the ones who are only interested in sex and are making that clear to a guy, they don't care how it makes them look nor do they regard any idea that it would be unattractive to do that because they believe that as long as they let a guy know they want sex, they will always get what they're looking for because they believe that men become attracted to a woman when she makes it clear that she wants to fuck. And they want it to be totally okay if they're the ones desperate and looking for a hook up or ONS with a guy.
    • Plenty of horny women out there. The creators of tinder know this so gave them an app to use where their friends won't know how often they hook up with guys so can't be slut shamed.

    • ManOnFire

      @MusicMayhem Yep, true point.

    • Absolutely there are horny women who are ok with just sex. But in general most want more. Even some of the horny ones want the potential for love.

      But I agree that most guys are doing just fine

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  • My rejection rate is about 90%. Keep in mind I've been offered a job as a male model so I'm quite good-looking.

    Do you have spinach in your teeth? lol
    • bull shit you're rejection rate is 90% if you're that good looking, unless you have the personality of card board. But you don't seem to lack that, as you seem to have a smidge of sense of humor. Perhaps this guy perpetually always has spinach stuck in his teeth that he's yet to pick out? It's a chronic issue for him god damn it.

    • @brennanhuff yeah not a super model, you actually don't need to fullfil that many criteria to be a low-tier model. I believe you have to be 1.7m tall, have decent facial symmetry and clean skin, thick hair, not be obese or undernourished. Having a friend who is a recruiter helps too. Women rate me 7-8/10

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  • Porcelaine
    You don't sound confident at all. And being confident works and does make someone very attractive, but if you've got other qualities that contradict that, it might not seem that way. Like if you are negative and whining all the time, just like you seem to be in this take. Or if you are too arrogant or rude, no matter how confident you are it scares girls away. When I give a guy advice to be confident, I mean do whatever it takes for him to feel good about himself, about his life. That positive aura and seeing them happy and enjoying whatever it is they do makes us want to be around them. 10% success rate IS good. 1 in 10 girls say yes, you can't complain. Girls don't rejected that often because guys are not picky and will sleep with anyone. If a girl is hot and in the club, of course she will not get rejected since 90% of guys who go to clubs just want to get some. And 90% of girls who go to clubs get hit on every 5mins so believe me they reject a lot do guys not just you. And even the most successful womanizers if they asked out every girl that came his way would not get a higher success rate than 15%. They don't go for any girl. They watch them and learn to pick ones who will be into them and say yes. They hang out a bit, make them feel comfortable, and then make a move. They focus on what makes each girl tick, not stupid statistics what a man has to have to get some. The biggest players I've met were biggest losers in life, no careers, no money. They focus all their time on girls so that's their only talent. Don't be one of them and waste your time getting a high success rate with girls. Better be the person who would be worth that one special girl who makes you feel on top of the world.
    • I didn't read all that. Just point out the exact paragraph where I'm whining or negative

    • Well if you don't bother to read why should I bother to read through yours again to quote something you won't be reading again? The reason you don't read/listen is why you don't learn anything

    • I didn't read because you said I'm negative and whining which I know I'm not, so that makes you a hater

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  • PinkMichae
    Confidence helps attract her to you. Not give you an easy piece of a$$ to f'ck. And yes it takes more than confidence. You could be super boring and have confidence. Try working on your personality and stop dating to get laid. Women can see through that. Try being a genuine guy that she can trust and feel comfortable in your arms.
    • I was about to comment myself, but seems it won't be necessary.

    • I'm not hiding that at all, I'm pretty upfront about what got me to approach her. You can say many things about me but not that I'm not genuine or dishonest

    • @Optymistyk If you didn't put your focus on being confident so you can get laid it wouldn't seem like that's your priority above showing you would be genuine and trustworthy in a relationship.

      Women don't trust men that make it obvious their main focus is sex. They want the friendship, trust, and love. They want the sex too but not before the other things usually.

      I'm trying to help you see where you may be going wrong.

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  • simplyaramdomgirl
    For me confidence is actually very important, it speaks of that person's character. People are able to smoke out insecurity just as easily as dogs smell fear. I think it's more about internal confidence rather than acting cocky and full of yourself. Most women like suave men, that's almost a fact. But a guy can't be suave if that doesn't ooze from him naturally. Because confidence is quiet, usually the loudest person in the room is the weakest. Just like you can tell Brad Pitt is Mr. Steal your girl from just that picture; girls can tell when a guy is sure of himself and confident in his skin all the same. Additionally, you need to figure out which types of girls you're going after.

    It's highly improbable that every girl you approach will want you as well, but if you look for girls who are on the same page as you, you'll likely see a major difference. There's also the fact that it's proven that girls are more relationship-inclined that guys. So if you have a hard time finding one night stands, that's probably why. Many girls aren't interested in a guy that just wants to use them for their body. Yes, humans are shallow creatures and we make judgements based on appearance and first impressions; but what we define as shallow is when you allow that one-dimensional judgement to be the only judgement that matters. Confidence isn't bullshit because you can't expect someone to love or want you if you don't love yourself. However, you do make some relatively okay points.
    • Well I never said confidence is useless, I just said it's wayy overrated. Some people told me confidence to a guy is like a sexy body to a girl - the main Attractiveness factor. And it's clearly not. It helps you sell yourself but it's not what women really desire in men. If a guy is not sexy to begin with then confidence won't help much, and few guys are really sexy. So I think it's better to try to be sexier by focusing on displaying wealth, status and appearance rather than trying to improve confidence through meditation and cold approach like I used to do

    • I beg to differ. Some guys aren't really THAT attractive, but you know what they are? Smooth as fuck. Guys are seduced into bed, women are talked into bed. Part of that smoothness is confidence. Surely the appearance factor is quite important but it isn't the main aspect. You know what makes any woman crazy? A guy that's confident, and knows it. He knows how to carry himself, touch you, talk to you and grab your attention. Guys are seduced by the mystique of a women. Females however care much more about the feelings a guy can evoke. That's what gets us hooked. Sexy is very relative, you can only make sure that you're the best version of yourself and that you project that.

    • Well can you elaborate?

  • Serenity2014
    Not every girl can get guys easily. Hell, I can’t even get a guy to give me his number. And I hate when people say “That’s surprising”. Because it’s really not surprising. MOST guys want a girl who looks like a porn star, doesn’t talk much and does whatever they want without any questions asked. They would much rather have that than someone like me. And because all of those things guys want is basically the polar opposite of who I am, I just stopped trying.
    • Nah, if you're 5 or above you can get laid on demand. Just go on tinder and you'll drown in all the likes you'll get. Or dress slutty and go e a nightclub, maybe approach a guy or two you'll have at least ~40% success rate on a bad day

    • I don’t think you understand where I’m coming from. When I get on Tinder or any other dating app, I literally get zero matches. I go to bars and no guy wants to start a conversation with me. Guys have it easier. If they get rejected or have a hard time finding someone, they just lower their standards and can find someone to get laid no problem. Girls have it tougher because with us, we’re either attractive or not. There’s no in between.

    • "and no guy wants to start a conversation with me" no girl ever wants to start a conversation with me either, I just have to walk up and try to find one that won't reject me

      Both sexes can lower their standards. There's always plenty of desperate men in nightclubs drunk approaching women, you can easily get laid with them

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  • devilish-cutie
    i think you miss the point that not one thing make you successful, its more things combined
    being confident is often mistaken for being cocky, fully of ysf and egoistic or just plain dumb convinced into ysf even if there is no real reasons for you to be confidnet

    Yes, we are attracted to superficial things, but not only to those things, its about ones looks + intelligence + personality
    • Nope, I'm just confident. I know I'm good enough. I'm also 7-8 in looks, high intelligence and I think a pretty fun guy overall.

      The problem is when women imagine the guy they want they just *assume* he's already sexy and it doesn't even have to be stated. What if he's quite good looking, smart and interesting but he's a broke loner? Like his social status is so low he spends most of his time alone and nobody even knows his name and he is so broke he can't even afford to invite you out on a date and wears cheap clothes?

    • You sound like elliot rodgers lol

    • @TonyBologna25 I wonder what made you think I sound like an incel cold blooded murderer

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  • kim45456
    Getting laid means just havin sex. So meaningless. Many women want more than sex. If your goal is only having sex, just buy a sexdoll or pay prostitutes. And women who have sex easily is called slut. So what do you except from women?
    • BladeMan

      " women who have sex easily is called slut." Thats not true. İts just a feminist propaganda to make women superior over men. But thats not true. İts just a myth. :D

    • Yeah cuz women wear skimpy dresses and show cleavage to display their personality.

      If you're so much into relationships why don't women throw themselves at this guy?
      Why most dating advice for men is bullshit

      He might not be very handsome or rich or popular BUT he's gonna love you with his whole soul. He would be loyal like a dog, he's too desperate to even risk looking at other women. He's very intelligent and would make a great loving father too. Instant marriage material

      But no, you want the guys all the other women want, the sexy guys. But the sexy guys have so many women to choose from they don't want a relationship with your average ass. So then women start shaming men for only wanting sex... After having like 20 sexual partners themselves.

      This is a no bs thread. Relationships are about sex. Stop shaming men for wanting to be desired like any woman wants to be

    • kim45456

      Showing cleavage means nothing. Omg just a fuck cloth. Get over it

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  • frostwalrus
    Merely having confidence just makes you a confident loser in a woman's eyes. It's like putting lipstick on a pig. "Just have confidence" is basically a nonchalant I-don't-really-care-if-this-helps-you sort of advice that women say off the cuff. I don't know if you noticed this, but women couldn't possibly care less about a man who is suffering and contemplating suicide (to put it in perspective, when a woman expresses loneliness and depression, you'll have men literally rushing in to console her). They're hardwired to be apathetic towards men they perceive as weak or genetically unfit for reproduction. So women are probably the last people on Earth a man should look to for advice.

    As for the dating scene that is so laughably lopsided that to merely say it favors women would be the understatement of the century, men have themselves to blame for that mess. Men think with their dicks and hold women to no standard. The value of women has been inflated to obscene levels because of the selfless, dog-like manners of men (Honestly, I think women sexually select for men who have those traits. They love having men around who grovel at their feet.).

    It's like the Earthbound SNES cartridge. It's not particularly rare. Yet you'd have to shell out $200 for a copy because every imbecile on the planet keeps paying $200 for one.
    • I see you're not charming, you're not intelligent, you're not tall, you're not attractive, you're not popular, you're not wealthy, you're not socially adept, you're not funny, you're not alpha, but I see you have confidence in yourself. Guess what? You have nothing!

  • SueAnon84
    I see the ugliest men and women at Walmart with FOUR kids... if that's not theirs then I don't know who's they are! They're getting their children from somewhere!! I think your stats are wrong no offense!

    • Yeah you put that correctly, ugliest men with the ugliest women. What a surprise, it's probably confidence that got them so far

    • SueAnon84

      Lol assholes down voting me so immature! Hiding and denying the truth! Lol so pathetic!

    • You meant ugly men with also ugly women or attractive women?

  • Daisy007
    Your problem? You're thinking in terms of just getting them to sleep with you, you don't want to get to "know" them... okay, you look like a "model" that's fine BUT most of us don't want casual sex. I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping w someone i hardly even know. So, that's y it's easier for girls to get laid bc there's a lot more horny men/boys looking for casual sex & not even "model" looks. GET TO KNOW HER!! BE APPROACHABLE!
    • mateynine

      Not sure what kind of advice this is since she won't let you get to know her unless you're good enough looking.

  • MzAsh
    I’d still reject a hot, high status, rich guy on the account that he’s a negative, entitled, complainer.
    • EXACTLY! Guys don’t realize how much their personality weighs in on their attractiveness. I’ve seen a ton of guys that at first glance, I’m attracted but after the first few conversations, you realize they’re a jerk, or self centered or just a complete a-hole. All of a sudden I view them differently and loose all attraction to them.

    • MzAsh

      Yep. Guys who are sweet, humble, pleasant, gentleman is an absolute must.

    • @Serenity2014 Just like girls don't realize how much their personality weighs in their attractiveness. And it's only a matter of time till she becomes unappreciative and gold dig while blaming their boyfriends. (I'm generalizing but I don't care as you're generalizing guys as well)

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  • Hurlyburly
    Umm no matter how good a guy looks like or how confident he is, if he seems like only wanting sex I'd reject him in a heartbeat. So maybe that's the issue. Most women want something real, not just something for a night.
  • el_Te_de_la_Rosa
    There are a few more points I think they are reasons why men get rejected. No matter how perfect they are according to your list. At least for me.
    >> If a man is NOT single, then no.
    >> If a man is just looking for only physical intimacy, not a relationship, no.

    Please keep these in mind too. Not all women are okay to just sleep with a stranger even if they are in a club.
  • emmily2396
    The main problem is that you are thinking with your dick. I don't want to sleep with a guy I barely know and that sees me just as a piece of meat and another proof of his virility. I would only sleep with a guy I have some feelings for and who wants to be with me and that I can trust. Not with a total stranger or anything close to that.

    Dating advice for men is not bullshit if you are looking for a relationship and not just sticking your tiny dick into something. And yes, the girl needs to find you hot, you need to work on being financially stable and you need to not have a problematic personality. But guess what? You would want the same from a girl. Maybe you would be fine with her being poor, but I am sure you would want to feel attracted to her and wouldn't want her personality to pe a pain in the ass. Not that you would need to have a perfect personality, but some things can be overlooked, some can't. You don't have to be the hottest, but would you stay with someone that is not even 60% of what you find attractive?
    • I agree. There is a difference to finding a relationship to finding tail. And if you are just trying to find tail then the women you are looking for are shallow and high maintenance. They prefer guys who are themselves high maintenance. But if you are looking for a true relationship you want something genuine. Looks may be about a small percentage of you are looking for but if you have no genuine heart or compassion you are dead out of luck.

  • yoganshB
    Thanks for helping but I don't care about it. I'm a single but I can't hit on every good looking woman I see. I can't just simply go and spread my charm all around her. For the sake of some people I'm telling you that I'm also a good looking man and a well appreciated personality and for status I would say almost everyone knows me and I even came on an international live telecast once. Got multiple achievements in the span of about 2-3 years and I'm still a teen. For intelligence I guess without being intellectually able i would never have gotten even a single among them so... that's clear.
    Now my point is that sometimes even ideals are single because we are trying to find a life partner not a one night stand. If you really love someone then you will always try to change her mind and I guess you won't give up that easily. If you're not in love first find your love. Don't just try to get a girl. This is for everyone. Don't try to change your status from single to mingle but think about it as if it's your life.
  • sapphireruby
    I don't think there is such a thing as good dating advice, every women and every man is different and has different needs and wants.
    I think the best advice you can give anyone is start with your self be the ideal you, and then when your ready just try things if something doesn't work try another thing.
  • Randomawkwardness
    I mean, when they say be confident it's more like don't be afraid to talk to women or get out there. It is still dependent on your personality and honestly, the whole 'I know I'm attractive' bit is a little turn off. It's great that you're that confident but it can be a little too much. Spouting off on how attractive you are when everyone has different tastes just makes you seem narcissistic
  • NineBreaker
    I think people who empathize confidence Miss the point: Confidence is merely an indicator for other traits it is associated with. With wealth, physical strength, good looks, social status... etc., confidence is a common trait. As human beings we assisted confidence with such traits, and by association, it is a trait sought by women.

    Even men who don't have good looks, money, or social status, can have something even more important: charisma; and you can't have charisma without confidence.
  • Screenwriter
    If you're good looking, confident AND have other skills, your success rate will be better than 10%. You don't need a Lamborghini. Someone who has interesting hobbies, is relaxed and easy to talk to, has traveled a bit: that adds up to status. Not the racy car kind either. And dating pros say men and women often fail at dating because they're choosing the wrong kinds of people. Maybe examine who you've been going after and see if that's where you're setting yourself up for failure.
  • _SOARER_
    The best advice I ever got was "Stop being a little bitch"
    Once you stop being a little bitch, you will have no problem getting women.
    I agree most advice is bullshit. But this all predicated on sex. The people who value women for more than just sex, usually get the most sex.

    Its the weirdos, who do 100 approaches at bars and clubs who barely get laid.
    • I think attractive men with skilled approaches will have better success rates. If you hit on random women who you haven't evaluated, spoken to, watched body language, your failure rate will be high.

    • _SOARER_

      @Screenwriter yeah I agree. It's better to go after women you know

  • chris0977
    Having read "Why Women Love Bitches" and "The Rules", in effort to learn to recognize equally manipulative games women play, this issue has little to do with gender, far more human nature, but each seem to want to blame the other as the source of issues, rather than themselves, or anything connected to them, such as their own gender.
  • MannySimms
    Nope. I always tried for the beauties; way out of my league. Enjoyed 10% success. Still works at age 70. How's your hygiene? Do you smell like a man ought to smell?

    Why most dating advice for men is bullshit
  • Mr_Kapstar
    I won't say that 'confidence is sexy' is COMPLETE bullshit, but at times yes, confidence may not be enough. A lot of girls out there are immature, spoiled brats that are on dating sites "for a laugh" (see myTake I wrote on limitations of dating apps) and there is almost no way of getting to them. So with women you not only have to be confident, but you have to also be good at puzzles, it comes as a complete package.
  • Avicenna
    It's not realistic to expect to have a high success rate. You only need to be successful now and then. When I was younger, I hit on girls who werent single sometimes, but had friends or sisters who were.
  • gym4ever
    Let me give you best dating advice to guys that will 100% work.
    Get your lazy ass up and hit the gym, get crazy jacked body. Dont be idiot, approach women and nothing will go wrong.
    Most of guys that get rejected probably didn't have new haircut in last 10years, stinks like shit and never worked out in their whole life and yet they expect some model to approach them lol
    • I workout 4x weekly for years now on a strict diet, go to the best hairdresser in the city, dress fashionably and I don't stink

    • gym4ever

      Then your talking game is weak. You need to be more confident. Im not even trying and still bunch of girls are staring in me all the time. I bett if i approached them i could do something but i lost motivation for life

    • Well I don't look quite as good as you cuz I think I have shitty ass genes and no matter what I try it's very difficult for me to gain more muscle... But I still look quite good. I very rarely get girls starring at me. I think my game is fine tho

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  • TheFlak38
    The game is rigged. Even if you were a millionaire those dumb women would still expect more from you. In the best case they would suck you dry, stress you out with their nagging and then move to the next well of resources. They can't build their own life so they have to drain a man's energy.
  • Scarecrow13
    I worked on improving my confidence and it made all the difference. I used to not even be able to begin to bring up the subject of going on a date. Once I got over the fear, I realized it was no big deal. Now of course that doesn't mean you will always have success and there is a difference between being confident and being cocky.
  • yourfavperson
    Its not 'confidence with women' that attracts women. Its the confidence within urself that does. It should be visible from across the room
    • BOOM!! agree.. emotional projection. The feminine is reading emotional signs quite often.

  • DWornock
    Finally someone with a logical brain that tells it like it is. The other stuff (that is, the bullshit) sells books and may make guys feel better for a little while because it gives them hope.
  • Kdude010
    Be confident but dont be too confident otherwise you'll come off as a deuche and cocky.

    Be nice but dont be too nice otherwise you'll come off as a weakling.

    Be intelligent, but not too intelligent otherwise you'll come off as a deuche.

    BUT... you can be as rich as you want

    Females are a lost cause lol
  • zarqu0n
    You WANT your rejection rate to be high. If your rejection rate is too low, it means you're playing a game of trying to please as many people as possible by adapting your personality based on who's in front of you. If you're just yourself and don't give a shit, then yeah, most girls are gonna reject you. However, those that don't are gonna be the ones that you're actually after. They actually like you for who you truly are.
    • zarqu0n

      And if it's just about getting laid, then I would give it some thought as to why you're so desperate about getting laid.

  • I think your opinion is a bit skewed. You sound like you have your head so far up ass. That you can't see whats going on.

    I have no problem picking up women when I needed to. Married now
    • Congrats to you, I'm interested to hear what your success rate was

    • success rate what success rate. If I wanted a date. I just go to a store or something. Where women go and start talking to them like I known them their whole lifes.

      Thats how I meet my wife at the mall shopping. Married now for 25 years. Can't get more of a success rate better than that

    • Okay so you have met at least one woman who didn't reject you. And you're married. Trully a success story

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  • latinabutterfly96
    It's not bullshit, you're just not getting it. You don't "try" to be confident - you either are or are not. You don't "think your way there." A lot of people believe you can build the skill of confidence. It's not even a skill; it's a trait. Women know which men are truly confident and which aren't.

    Women also know which men are there to be slept with, or to be dated and be taken seriously. Men have similar "antennae" which tells them the type of women who are suited for long-term, and the women suited for short term flings. You can JUST tell.

    It's the same for women. We can just tell if you're the ONS type or the admirable type.

    It's hard to understand, but it is true. It's not "BS".
    • Congratulations...

    • @Wowgirl30q Lol, I sure pissed some men off... Meh

    • don't know why you got downvoted, I believe you are right and point of view is valid. Women have senses... doesn't mean they work so well when they are drunk:), or that they are very good (e. g. self worth/esteem issues or lack of experience can distort), but they are always reading emotion. Most women are tryign to sort out who is interesting... it's a lot easier when other women approve first.

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  • BrittBratt2416
    Okay, having confidence in yourself is key and a good thing to have. Confidence can make people see you as more outgoing and attractive. However, you're thinking it should have everyone falling to your feet and that's unrealistic thinking. Yes some people will be impressed with others confidence and some won't be, it just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds unattractive, some one else will.

    Also this is your problem and reason why women reject a lot of men. If you're coming on to strong and we're getting a sense that you're only hitting on us just to score/get laid, then we're going to reject you. That's the number one reason why we reject men, beside already being relationship, not interested, busy with life etc. We want me who are confident but not men who might be using their confidence to the poin their trying to manipulate us into getting something out of us. Women are selective cause we're trying to protect our time, energy, and our hearts.
  • sawno
    To put this into context, what is your definition of confident?
    Because from my encounters i managed to crack the code that people mean with confident.
    It has nothing to do with how confident you feel, you can be nervous for all she cares.
    The real thing women want with a confident men is not so much a man who is hyper confident about himself, but confident in what he wants. Who dares to lead and express what he wants HER to do without being pushy or giving her instructions, that creates the safety for her to follow your lead. And the one time i did it and just took the lead i noticed that girl was infatuated with me afterwards.
  • BladeMan
    Most men are not ugly. The value you have is not only about confidence. You missed a lot of things too. For example being muscular a little bit. Most men can do it if they have enough money and a gym saloon or dummbells.
    Communication is also so important. Charisma, self confidence, gesture and things like that are also a part of our attraction. İf a handsome man is very bad with communication, self confidence, charisma nad gesture, she won't get a girl.

    I am a middle attractive man but I fucked a lot of women. Why more handsome men can not do this? Cuz they are only handsome. Their other values are not much more than me.

    Confidence is important but its not the everything. There are also much more value options.
    • I'm pretty muscular I workout 4-5x weekly for years now. I think my charisma is alright too

      So what's your success rate?

    • BladeMan

      Extreme muscle is not attractive for women. Men will also find them bad looking. İt must be normal muscular. Anyway.

      I improved myself with a dating couch and with reading self help books.

    • I'm not extremely muscular, in fact I'm about the height of Brad Pitt and have about as much muscle mas as he did in Fight Club (I checked on the internet). I just need to loose like 4kgs of fat cuz I've been bulking for many months now and I'm basically there

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  • heavensgift2girls
    Confidence is very important. When a man doesn't have confidence it repels women. Confidence isn't everything, but if you look at nearly every single guy that a girl will call creepy, it is because he lacks confidence, and this causes him to act strange around women.

    When you consider that a good looking guy has a 90% failure rate, it takes a lot of confidence for less attractive guys to keep at it with an even higher failure rate. A man has to have a lot of confidence to handle all the rejection he is going to get.
  • MrHopper
    Not being boring helps. Being confident and self obsessed is a quick fire way to rejection
  • AbleLearner
    You're being rejected because most Western women are highly immature, spoiled, have no clue what they are looking for, and generally wouldn't know what was good for them if it jumped up and bit them in the ass anyway.

    Join ChinaLoveCupid, post a few photos and make a profile. If you look as good as you say, you'll get a couple hundred women messaging you first within the first week, and they'll all be bilingual "tens" who are highly educated, wealthy, and in perfect health, and with no bad habits; They're the best women in the world, in my opinion.
    • Oh and I would agree that most dating advice for men is bullshit. Western women don't know why they end up with the man they end up dating, so they SUCK at giving dating advice to anyone, other women or men, they don't know what they are doing or why.

  • Pamina
    Don't worry, most dating advice for women is also bullshit.
  • hahahmm
    Because they only told you a fraction of the truth.
  • Thatsamazing
    Yes, humans are animals, man. And animals are driven by both hunger and sexual desire. Correct.
  • KristaGrym
    Retype... Why it's bullshit for ugly people? And With this question I am responding the question itself.
  • Mamamialetmego
    Right? Why most dating advice for men is bullshit
    • kim45456

      Hahahah man why are white people so ugly

    • @kim45456 Guys on the left is super handsome. And tells the guy on the right just be confident. Get it?

    • kim45456

      The guy int the right is a litte above the average. It is not unusual in ararbic countries to see guys like that. I have seen a lot men like him in turkey

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  • Inv8derChris
    OK, confidence isn't the end all be all, but there are an awful lot of misconceptions here. I had relationships in high school; and it was a horrible time for me. I've always been outgoing. The things that many women desire; I've checked most of the boxes. I'm good looking, caring, a good listener and confident. I just happen to be about 4'10. Now, some people are put off by that, some aren't. Has it affected my ability to find someone? Probably. Does it bother me? As secure as I am, sure. But as I got older I realized that I'm comfortable in my own skin; and the only opinion that matters is mine. If I want to approach someone; I probably will. Is there a chance she'll tell me to go away? Of course. But why be afraid of rejection? There are enough women in the world. Of course you can paint everything negatively when you're going off of bad advice from people that are socially awkward.
  • Games_
    Alright let me explain something.

    Your right that physical appearance is like what girls like and confidence is bullshit.

    Your definitely right about that. But here's the thing

    The reason people emphasize confidence is because no matter how you see yourself, you still have to physically ask the girl out regardless.

    A ugly guy still needs confidence to get a girlfriend,

    Same with a guy who's good looking, but not model level at looks

    Thing is u would never know if unless u physically walk up to them.

    Like u see ugly guys with good looking girls, yeah they needed to get the confidence to go up to those girls.

    Yes confidence isn't gonna make girls wet for you, but u still needa do it.

    I'm gonna say this, dont listen to what girls say, analyze their behaviour. A lot of girls will give faulty advice or say something opposite, then their behaviour says something else
  • bamesjond0069
    This is bullshit. I'm attractive but not male model attractive and my phone number close rate just walking around day to day stuff is better than 50%!
    • Yyyyymh phone close means nothing. Most phone numbers flake anyway

    • Well if you trying to have sex right after opening you are stupid asf. Duh its going to be low.

    • Well actually you should consider the signs the girl gives you, because if she's looking at you doe eyed and you don't fuck her quick you might loose your chance. Also logistics.

      But saying you have a 50% phone close rate is pointless because having a phone number doesn't equal having sex

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  • westwordbound
    I agree I’m sick of the bullshit generalizations of just “be confident”, “grow some balls”, “be funny” like it just simple as flipping a switch. Is a lazy ass oversimplification.

    I will tell you this though. Women want CHALLENGE. They are cat like and are turned on by mystery. A nice guy is unfortunately the opposite of this, even if he is confident.

    So I recommend reading Doc Love, Corey Wayne and Dr Glover. They won’t turn you into a bad ass. BUT they help shed light on the problems and tendencies that make you unattractive to women. I did notice more success when I started following that advice. I did get laid more.
    • MajorZero

      Good advice. I’ll suggest to take everything with a grain of salt. These guys make their living on it. Of course they’ll never tell you that you’ll fail. Work in your purpose, make money, be an example at work and in your community, the girls will chase that and when that happens be selective but kind. The key is Stop pretending being someone you are not just for getting girls.

    • @MajorZero it was easier for me to follow their advice to a T and see better results because what I was doing in my own wasn’t working.

      But you are right, they are making big bucks off it. Corey Wayne especially is a bit haughty about it. But one thing these guys say that is very true: most dating books, speakers, columnists are written by women FOR women. In fact women are taught a very young age what the game is about. Men are expected to just “get it”. Now does that mean every girl knows what’s up and every guy is clueless? Nope. But it is true about what doc love said: when you are dating you are playing on THEIR turf.

  • zagor
    So WTF is your problem? Stick to the 10% who are accepting you.