Is a player in the dating scene always a player? My answer is no.
First, What is a player? A player is someone who pretends to be in a sincere and serious relationship with someone while at the same time dating someone else. In this case I will focus on men.
Many considered me as a player. I didn't pretend to be with a single person, I was always upfront about not wanting a relationship. Therefore, I am not a "traditional player"...but I was a ladies man in the sense that I have dated many women without a desire for a relationship. Just sex.
What makes a player? People are not born players. I think it stems from negative parental influences or a lack of it or some type of past trauma. Many men are players to maintain a sense of ego because of a past history of real pain. Many players are just charming and likeable people who once had their hearts broken.
A woman can't change a player, they can only change themselves. A player does not change because of a woman. What makes him change is to have something broken within their soul healed, fulfilled, or a desire for something more than the shallow nature of the pleasures of sex void of emotional attachment. This is an introspective process of healing and finding self worth within themselves. It doesn't happen overnight.
What changed me. I still date women. I still am open to dating many women. But my thinking has changed. The goal is not longer just sex. Things have changed in my life where I let go of the shame and lack of self esteem about myself. I feel ready to love. Ready to be vulnerable for something real. I no longer use sex or dating many women as a buffer for the pain or feeling of inadequacy about myself. I want the real thing. I want the magic. I for the first time since a heartbreak 3 years ago want to fall in love.