I'm writing this take just as my two cents for how women should properly break a date with a guy.
Just yesterday I had girl flake out & ghost me on a date. Just a FYI meeting up was originally her idea too. I did text her explicit details (time, place, etc) about what we were going to do. I planned to meet outdoors for a scenic walk to make her feel safe. I mentioned "maybe having dinner" afterwards. She was very enthusiastic earlier when we talked. I never mentioned sex or anything inappropriate.
This is just my thoughts. If I can change just one girl's mind out there to treat one of my brothers better....this was worth the time writing this. If you want to be a classy woman please read the following tips:
1. So you changed your mind about meeting him. That's okay. But before you ghost did you carefully consider if whether or not he did something FUNDAMENTALLY wrong?
Alright for one reason or another you don't "feel" like meeting him up. Yes ladies guys have been conditioned to accept that you might change your mind for no logical reason. It's frustrating because as men we are taught to keep our word. We don't do that to our male buddies. The old saying is "a man is good as his word" and we are more likely to keep it because it shows character.
I've made dates with women I later got cold feet about meeting up. I either went just for the hell of it or if didn't go I would always give her a heads up saying I can't make it. However as a man I have to painfully accept that instant rejection can happen at any point. I can handle tactful rejection but rude rejection (ghosting) is a different story.
So before you ghost/flake carefully look over your prior conversation with him. Did he bring up sex first and talk too much about it? Did he ask for nudes or something else inappropriate? Did he make sexual comments about your dating app pics (unsolicited)? Did he ask you to come straight to his bedroom? If he said something you don't like, do you think he realizes it? If he did make a mistake, did he either change the subject fast or apologize?
If the answer is no to any of the above you have NO right to ghost. Maybe you think he is boring or only so so looking. Maybe you found a "better deal" with another guy in the meantime. But no matter his appearance, his age, his status, etc. if he said nothing fundamentally wrong then you have NO right to ghost him. He might of acted flirty in his messaging because he doesn't want to be boring. But you ladies have strong enough intuition to know if he was just being playful vs. creepy. Him calling you "babe" only once (I know a girl who stood up a guy JUST for saying that in a text once) is not a legitimate reason to ghost.
2. Put yourself in his position. He might of put in lots of efforts, plans & prep into the date. Ghosting someone in that situation is extremely insulting.
Many women think that a guy doesn't have to anything on a date but show up with his wallet and a full set of teeth. NO. WRONG! We are self conscious about our looks too. A few days ago I had some minor acne show up. Having a date coming up I went to the drug store and spot treatment for it. I also looked through my wardrobe to see what would look best for our afternoon walk. I cancelled plans with other friends who wanted to hang out.
I also cleaned up my townhouse and bought stir fry for dinner. The plan was to leave the food cooking in my croc pot during our initial walk. If her and I clicked I was going to invite her in for dinner afterwards (her choice). It's lockdown going on right now so going to a dine in restaurant is not an option. But it took me time & effort to prepare. It would fucking piss anybody off if they got ghosted after doing that.
3. The moment you change your mind you SAY SOMETHING early and simple text will do
It only takes 15 seconds to send someone a text message. Send it the moment you change your mind. It is next to effortless to text and you don't have engage in a full on conversation. If you really that scared of him getting angry and/or saying something nasty then do this: write him a brief yet polite text saying you can't make it. Then block his number and profile on the dating app.
That will sting him but at least you saved him from any inconveniences. I could of easily made plans with other friends if this girl would of given me the respect of saying she can't make it.
4. If you continue to ghost guys realize you are undermining "gender equality" and contributing to justifiable misogyny.
What happened yesterday unfortunately wasn't a isolated incident. Last fall I invited a girl over on a SECOND not first but second date for dinner. She already knew who I was. She said yes and then flaked with no heads up. I've had other women of all ages do similar bullshit over the years.
There is just this cowardly trend going on society i.e. more and more women are prone to ghost nowadays. I never had this happen 10 years ago. Women would message me at the last second saying they couldn't make it. However ghosting is much much worse. It's disgusting and pathetic. It shows that women really are NOT equal to men because they can't keep their word. This makes men less enthusiastic about talking to other women. We don't know if we are wasting our time or not. The bottom line: don't be selfish piece of shit.
*NOTE: I know some guys ghost too. But really, how often do guys stand up girls on dates? If he's a top 1% manwhore who has 10/10 looks, money and popularity maybe. But the vast majority of guys don't have that power.
5. Dating is much different (and harder) for most guys. We have to accept it but women need to understand our position
Dating is tough for 99% of the guys out there. We get much fewer dating app matches. We get turned down much more. We have to do all the approaching and planning. We have to make something happen. We risk rejection, embarrassment and humiliation every step of the way.
This is something we get used to. It's not fair but it's how it is. However we just accept that if unless we don't try nothing will ever happen. All we ask women is to respect our side of things. That's it. Unjustified ghosting is probably the most disgustingly pathetic conceited way you can treat a man who is just trying to make it happen. Don't do it. It's okay to reject anyone but you give them the respect of telling them why.