Dating

Making memories together, him biting but not kissing me yet - date #6

I haven't written about this in a while, but things are getting rather intense and I'm totally having it.

Here are some of the other takes about this guy (most recent to least recent);

Going exclusive is scary. Why won't he kiss me? [Three months of online dating series]

Finally feeling more comfortable, date #4 [Three months of online dating series]

On masculinity, chewing gum and the friendzone [dating fails]

I can't believe we've been on seven dates in this brief period of time (Update about the seventh time will follow). It wasn't long ago that we were quite far apart distance-wise.

It also seems completely unfathomable that he stayed at all. When we met online, I was using a picture depicting a friend (which I made sure to tell him of course), I didn't want to send him pictures of myself, I talked about other guys I liked more than him all the time and I wasn't exactly a good version of myself.

It was only when we went through a rather strange experience together that we both realised this would be a shame not to continue.

Fast forward one month, I moved closer to him (education related, had nothing to do with him), we met the first couple of times and have been hooked ever since we went to another city together on our sixth date.

That definitely changed a lot for me personally, I noticed that I was really comfortable around him in all different kinds of situations.

[Photo by Daniel Abadia on Unsplash]
[Photo by Daniel Abadia on Unsplash]

Getting there

As I mentioned already, we travelled to another city together. I rode the train on my own for a bit, he found me immediately when he got on and told me he was able to "smell" me - I immediately knew this couldn't be true because I don't really have a scent. I don't wear perfume, only deodorant, he told me that I have a "light and indefinable" smell that's very pleasant to him. It wasn't only the smell, I was sitting next to a large group of tourists and had told him about this before, he said that this was the determining factor but that he had indeed been able to smell me, interestingly.

It wasn't as creepy as I described it, I promise. I had my curls out for the first time on any of the dates I went on with either him or other people; I don't like showing men my hair, they always want to touch it and I really don't like that. He told me I looked amazing, let me disinfect his hands (I've always loved doing that even before SARS-CoV-2 hit the globe, he doesn't like how dry it makes his hands but is aware of the fact that we'll only hold hands once they're disinfected LOL) and moved closer towards me. I enjoyed the rest of the train ride.

Walking around the city

When we arrived, he showed me around the city, he was singing a couple of rap lines most of the time (he could've sung the whole song too by heart, it's just that he knows I don't want to hear it (sexist, aggressive language)) because he was so excited to be in the home town of two major rappers. It was so sweet to see his excitement. We sat down to eat some vegetables I'd cut up before in a park; turns out, he doesn't like raw vegetables at all, so I ate all of them. He appreciated the gesture though.

Trying to get food

When we were both hungry and fed up with walking around, he told me he knew this great place that had the best burgers and an amazing atmosphere. It took us a while to find, there was a rather long queue (he asked me several times whether I really wanted to go in there, really sweet) and when we were finally seated, the waiter assigned us a ridiculously small table.

Before we could sit down, a dog started to bark very loudly. We looked each other in the eyes briefly, and since he had taken care of getting us seated, I turned to the waiter and said in a polite, but very straightforward tone: "Thank you, we've seen the place now, but we'll have to go. Please take care of the noise, we'll be back another time if you do." I love how he immediately knew we had to get out quickly to prevent me from having a meltdown or worse (because of the noise). Once we were out, he squeezed my hand, hugged me tightly and asked me if I was okay. I appreciated that so much, it wasn't an excuse for him to get closer to me, it was genuinely nice, caring and sweet.

We looked for another place and since he was really hungry, it had to be fast, so we went to a rather strange Pizza place that had looked amazing on Google Maps but was awful in real life. We were treated horribly there - he's 25, I don't understand why everyone acts like we won't pay/aren't worth being spent time on to get a higher than average tip. It's ridiculous. What I mean by "being treated horribly" is having to wait for a long time, them letting other people place their orders first, not having toppings he'd have liked (that are very basic too), them ignoring us entirely and being rude about stuff too. I didn't stay until he actually had the pizza, it was getting too warm, but he said they'd ripped him off when paying [we alternate when it comes to paying for stuff, much easier this way than splitting the bill everytime].

We went to a park to eat the pizza, I loved the atmosphere, I also like how he doesn't feel weird when I ask him to throw away things for me when he's closer to the trash bin than I am (I do the same for him). It sounds like a small thing, but I hate the trash bin and always feel better when I don't have to touch it.

[Photo by Victor He on Unsplash]
[Photo by Victor He on Unsplash]

A strange experience

I believe it was after having pizza that he said he wanted to go to one of those strange jewelers, just to talk about watches (he knows he can't get me to care about that topic but he's quite the expert). He predicted we wouldn't be treated the way we should be until he'd try one of them on, and sadly enough, this is what happened. We went in, he talked to the guys about different watches - we were the only customers, there were three salesmen there. Nonetheless, they didn't even want to let him try on two of their watches. When he convinced them and they saw the one he had been hiding from them, their entire attitude shifted. All of a sudden, we were the main focus of their attention. We had a good laugh about it afterwards - it's sad how when you look/don't look a certain way, people don't treat you right.

I told him on our second date that he wasn't allowed to talk about his income or money at all until I loved him. I don't know what the watch he was wearing is worth. I didn't listen to what the salesmen had to say about it. Frankly, I don't care. He wasn't trying to show off or flex, I honestly didn't even notice that he was wearing a watch until he told me he'd cover it with his jacket before going in. I like how he respects not being able to talk about his job yet.

I was just shook at how differently we were treated, that's all. I'll get back to it further below.

Hot chocolate

[Photo by Mat Reding on Unsplash]
[Photo by Mat Reding on Unsplash]

We were cold and agreed that it would be awesome to have hot chocolate (he loves tea and I know he'd be disappointed when drinking it at a café (not tasty enough), I like coffee, but not in the afternoon). We went to a café, were seated at a very large table and waited for more than 20mins to be waited on. Other tables with people who got there after us were waited on first. That's unacceptable in Europe, I don't know whether this is such a huge thing in the states too, but everything needs to have ORDER/ORDNUNG and it's strange that someone else who came in after us was waited on first.

We were so close to getting up and leaving - when a waiter finally showed up, we quickly placed an order and then had to wait longer than average again. We had a great conversation, were really happy about being in the same place at the same time. When our stuff came, he wasn't hungry anymore, so I finished his cake; he calls me a cake monster now LOL (I had already eaten my own cake), I just really like sweet stuff. He told me he had to take a phone call, so I asked him to leave his stuff and some of his drink behind as a sign for the waiter that he'll come back, which he did.

As I was waiting for him to come back, the waiter looked at me strangely. He'd insisted on paying but I had both enough cash and my card to cover the bill. I focused on myself, on how beautiful this day is, on how much I like being around him. When he got back, I told him that the waiters had been rude and acted like he wouldn't come back anymore - we laughed it off and he asked me whether I wanted him to accompany me on my ride back. My eyes must've lit up like crazy, I whispered "are you sure about that?" [2 extra hours on the train for him] and he said he'd love going back to my new home city with me.

[Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash]
[Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash]

Wearing masks most of the time, train ride back

We left, got on the train and as we sat down, we both got really tired. He asked me whether he could lean onto me, I let him - I have no idea how this happened but he ended up taking my legs and putting them on his leg, hugging me tightly and putting his head on my chest. I hugged him back, stroked his hair, took some pictures in the reflection of the glass window with his phone (I asked first of course) and embraced being this close. I love those pictures, I abslutely adore how comfortable we are with one another.

Conclusion

Was it awkard? Yes. Public displays of affection are not appreciated in Germany, but to be honest, we were both really tired and had to wear masks for the entire train ride. It was one of the only ways to feel really close. He bit me through his and my mask, which was a strange sensation, but I liked it, so I didn't comment on it (didn't want to ruin the moment). I love how close we are. I love how open we can be with one another.

I also can't believe he spent 7 hours on different trains that day both with and without me. He's doing so much more than I ever would've expected. It makes me feel really special and I love the experiences we're making together. Not once has he told me that I'm not trying hard enough, he understands that I can't travel this far yet. I'm homesick and sad. I feel a lot better when he's around.

Why aren't we treated well? We both noticed it, we've talked about it, neither of us is used to being treated this way. Is it because people don't like seeing us together? What do you think?

What do you think it means that he bit me?

Make sure to read my other post (not released yet), which will go into more detail about the whole biting thing amongst other, important stuff.

Making memories together, him biting but not kissing me yet - date #6
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