Three Rules For First Date!

[anon1903]

Three 1st Date Rules

Some thumb rules to have a good interpersonal impression on other :

For the sake of understanding, imagine you're on a date with me. ;)

(1) keep the information flow limited ...

People often ask here what questions to ask on a first date. Well, my advice is to seem interested. Cause the interrogation method? Yup, rarely works. You need more "mm" and "ah" than "um" and "oh".

The point here is — if I were to tell you how I got kicked out from modeling industry, was labelled as the best crybaby in acting as well as how easily sketching comes to me, you might think that I'm a remarkable person but also kinda bragger, right? Or worse, a whiner. The worst? You have a hard time listening. You're choking.

(2) stir away from agree-disagree topics ...

Social psychology has this weird thingy called " matching up". It happens when people connect cause they've an awful lot in common.

Faking it won't work.

Many people are a big fan of "me too!" moments. I'd a male writer friend who used to literally sing in my ears how we are great fans of alliteration.

In my opinion, similarities also cause competition.

So better to stay at bay? Yep.

So... Do I try to emphasis on how I'm polar opposite to them? Yeah well, think again. Probably not the best idea. I've seen it around how few of you have this rigid criteria "my girlfriend should be vegan", " I can't date a conservative", "she's a pro life, urk" and so on.

These topics must be avoided at all costs. They're nothing but trouble. It's fine to have certain standards but sometimes the best people are way ahead of it.

(3) don't bed them ...

Okay Missy, now you can stop asking it around to male users. Sadly we live in a society where if you like sex better than being in a relationship, you've low self esteem and a slut / man whore. I personally feel that if both parties are willing, I don't see a problem.

And lastly, focus on having a good time. That's the most important part. Even if a lot of questions are unanswered, even if the party is way different than the type you go out with... Remember, you're out for a reason.

[exitseven]

Don't talk too much about your feelings. I had a girl just blurt out to me that she had never been in love before on a first date. Very uncomfortable.

Talking politics could be disastrously in today's world. I know a lot of girls that hate Trump. They would be angry if they found out my position.

Don't be in such a big hurry for sex.

[ShortCircuit]

I disagree with numbers 1 and 2. I think the best strategy is to put as much information out there as possible, and to deliberately bring up controversial topics that you have a strong opinion on, as early as possible, because it will all come up eventually anyway. Better to find out if they are compatible with you sooner rather than later. If you tiptoe around topics that could make or break the relationship, then all you're doing is prolonging a relationship that was never going to work.

For example, if you are a deeply religious Christian, and it's important to you that your partner is also, then bring it up as early as possible, no holds barred. There is no Christian man who would otherwise be interested in you, but lost interest because you were "too Christian" or brought it up too early. In fact, he will probably be overjoyed that he found someone who is on the same page, and become even more interested in you. The only people it will turn off are atheists and people with other religions--people that you wouldn't want to be with anyway.

Being yourself is the best filter.

[DizzyDesii]

I need to ask questions that let me know if we agree/disagree so that im not wasting my time on someone whos “too different”. No one should change their likes or dislikes but also no one should be forced to keep things going just because we like a few things in common. If we dislike more than we like in common then he's not for me

[anon1903]

Fair enough

[razelove]

I can't help when I read through it but think of it as more of a pick-up strategy for men or women.

Essentially rule one is an interrogation technique, you give little about yourself while letting them fill the void with how awesome they are, and learn much much more about them then they learn about you. 2 is simply an extension of this as you are avoiding filling any gaps in conversation with anything at all that may end it or bring into question your own values, beliefs, you.

3 is good advice though, many people confuse dating and hooking up, male and female. Both are alright in my book, but for each party to have a different expectation (despite reality) is when people get hurt.

[Mac-One]

Given the uncomfortable circumstances of our first date, it is surprising that my wife and I actually had another one. We were both young and ended up in an uncomfortable situation with 2 other couples that had been dating for a long time.

[anon1903]

Good for you

[Mac-One]

@anon1903 We were uncomfortable with the circumstances but were respectful with no improper behavior or advances.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Originally I was going to disagree with your number 2 point. I want to weed out partners that I am not a good match with like conservative/liberal... but that should probably be done prior to the first date and only have a first date if they are someone that you could "live with". People shouldn't be wasting their time and money on a date if it is with a Trump supporter or a Hillary Supporter... and that is a deal breaker to them

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Hmm... I’ll remember this when you’re looking for allies against Ms. Andrade. Nice..

[Dinosaursandanime65]

If you’re male pet can go into the form of a human, would you consider them Taka da Faka material?

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Dinosaursandanime65
What does that have to fo with this subject?

[Dinosaursandanime65]

@MysteriousDarkness I don’t know. The A-Row? Rae-Hu? I just like to think

[anon1903]

Dinosaur boy is a little lost tbh, sire

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Do either of you hear anything?

[anon1903]

Anything relevant to this question... Nope. At least not from you.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Dinosaursandanime65
Seems like you are just babbling on and on.

[Juxtapose]

Good stuff as usual. I usually just act normal myself because I'm not going to give them a fake first impression when I could just show them how I normally am.

[Tstrbrainer]

Yep, but no matter how much one whines or brags, desperate people will always hang around

[Irondrago]

1. Pay for your own shit
2. Phone away, or I walk away and leave you with both bills
3. Any bitchy behavior, gossip, drama or other childish female bullshit = nexted

[anon1903]

This is kinda one sided tho, isn't it? You aren't saying men make no dating errors, is that what you're getting at?

[GAGSucksBalls1]

I won't take any advice coming from anyone on this site. since most of them are pathetic losers

[JPrez]

Awesome read and well thought out my friend.

[Avicenna]

I’d agree with all three of those.

[Gwenhwyfar]

This is very good advice

[legalboxers]

major 1 rule.. ZERO EXPECTATIONS

[AlwaysBelieving]

Those are good rules to have.

[msc545]

Thanks for taking the time to write this.

[sensible27]

Read it.

[Feelicks]

I'm terrible at that last one 😅