"How to Get Women" posts (A Review)

[BakedBeanieBabie]

Hi. I'm BakedBeanieBabie. Annoying, UK-born bisexual feminist.

*But you can call me Baked Bean if you like. We're all friends Here*

I figured I'd get every reason why people will hate me and this post out of the way from the start.

I haven't been on this site long but I have noticed a trend of people who fancy themselves masters at winning women's "affection" and therefore have a lot of opinions on how to obtain the sex and admiration of said women.

Not only that, they have a lot of opinions about women themselves.

Apparently, women are clueless, simple creatures who just need an "alpha male" *BARF* who can help them navigate their complicated emotions that we can't even make sense of ourselves.

No, no, we just need a man who muscles up to us, pays for our food, and is very clear about how much he expects us to be his ideal mate, which means we cannot be fat (but not too thin either), too opinionated (but not without opinions), too smart (but not stupid), and have limited sexual partners (even though the writers claim to have fucked MANY women).

We just gotta find a guy who doesn't ask permission, he just "takes charge" and allow us to be in our natural, submissive state.

...Hoe, stop.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but this alpha-beta mentality was never intended to be applied to human beings who live in modern society. Yes, humans are technically animals, but we don't live in an archaic world where these hierarchal functions are necessary or even practical.

Yeah, women are actually completely fine with not being dominated by another person in order to have a happy, fulfilling life and love life. Women don't NEED a man to "take charge"; they need an equal partner who is going to be there for her the same way she'd be there for him.

I guess I should pause to say that there might be women who do like these types of relationships. But that's the thing, isn't it?

Women are not all the same like men aren't all the same.

This is why dating shouldn't be riddled with practiced, tactfully planned "rules" and "hacks" to get into someone's pants or achieve a relationship status with them.

That's not "being a stud" to me, in my opinion, it's dishonest, disingenuous, and kind of manipulative. If you have to follow a set of tricks to get women to like you... maybe you're not naturally very likable at all. In fact, I'd go far enough to say that you could be a very fake person.

Good, likable people don't have to practice "tricks" to make other people like them. Do you know who does that? Sociopaths.

*not all dating advice writers are sociopaths, it was a joke, relax*

Suffice to say, I hope we as humans let this trend go by the way of the dodo, where we stop insisting we have the key to getting universal ass. The truth is you may or may not be successful in dating, and you should approach every new situation with a woman, man, or anyone in between individually.

There are women who don't feel comfortable letting you pay for the date.

There are women who don't appreciate a guy who immediately goes in for a kiss on the first date.

There are women who feel awkward when you insist on them talking about themselves, under the assumption that's all they like to do.

There are even women who prefer to take the lead, who are forward, upfront, and don't like taking a passive role in a relationship while a man tries to steer the course of the date or relationship.

Because we, at the end of the day, are individuals, without a universal set of rules that will ensure we will always like YOU. That's why you're going out with them, isn't it? To see if you like each other?

Read dating tip posts if you want. I just personally find they're usually basic, dumbed-down, disingenuous advice based a lot on bravado, bias, possibly dishonesty, and blanket "tips" you could find dating videos on VHS tapes and on TikTok today.

They rarely differentiate.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Um excuse me, but as the resident alpha Chadess of this place i believe it is my duty to school you on how us Alpha types deal with mouthy women.

I don't need some woman to tell me how to pick women up because all women are the same and by the same I mean they scare us alpha types because we feel threatened by them.

We will show up in packs that are made up of all Alpha types, just like a normal wolf pack and throw temper tantrums behind the safety of our computer screen. Once we do, we give ourselves a cheeto stained high five which of course takes a lot of energy out of us and requires us to catch our breath.

Women who try to tell us what to do belong in the kitchen making us a sandwich because frankly we really never learned how to survive on our own. The last woman we were forced to listen to was our mom and she makes the best sandwiches with the crust cut off so you should mother us too.

You women want us to pay for your dates and buy you stuff because honestly we never learned how to get people to genuinely like us so we figured money was the best way to do it otherwise.

I'm over you strong, independent women and I am going to tell my mom on you. She will know what to do.

...


😁

[Joey_007]

@ez-bri-z killing it as usual

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Aww thank you! 😊

[Jaumet]

It's so fun to pin point out the sycophants... on here that will bend over backwards to get any bit of positive female attention... Now, if you girls actually owned up to why they do it... you should be pissed. But no flattery will get you everywhere and as long as they prostrate before you in public... allows you to show the world your undisputed dominance... That is your ultimate goal... non of the equality bullshit you want to pass off... oh just sneak in "a man should not feel that he has to be in control!" I'm sure there a bunch of submissive men out there... who you can parade around on a leash to make your point of what you consider to show off dominance!

Funny, how I have never seen that but in some of the vilest porn that degrades women... and that is what you are using as a blueprint on how it will be... Hell, if you really want to dig deep and find out how warped some of these feminist's minds have become. Check out as many differing feminists' site as you can and just wait until you meet their reident pet on a leash (being prewarmed not to insult the pet or be expelled) Hell, I deleted what I wrote after I got an answer {it was BS} and that thing start spouting off... and they went and put it back up... as guest... but still my words.

I know just how far you all are willing to take this and I have effectively blocked you over and over again. THere is no way I will ever allow a bunch of fanatics to get control of me. Hell no, if you call yourself a feminist, I am your enemy and I will do everything I can to make sure you fail and I will attack you by going through those who you care or even know. This is a war that I refuse to end up on leash afterwards. So, after reading the first liner of the the bean eating fart girl and The sarcastic remark of the can't keep an aspirin between her legs "Girl who is Easy.".. I will leave with both of middle fingers up for them! Now, how is that for not being A SYCOPHANT THAT YOU ARE USED TO.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Lmao... that was certainly a bunch of words you put together without much thought.

See, I have 0 problem if you want to list yourself as my enemy. I have a whole history of them and you will be left among the faceless I've moved beyond.

I have 0 interest on having you on a leash. See, I have 2 dogs. I put them on leashes. The difference is, I like my dogs. I love them. You, however, would be more like a stray. I see you running around barking like you own the place, but then back away with tail between your legs when confronted.

Finally, you have got to work on your insults. Seriously. My user tag is just a play on my real name. I've been with exactly 1 person in my life and that is my wife. Sure I have done things to other girls, but I am far from easy sexually and even if I was, I would own it proudly.

Now move along, mutt, before I get the hose.

[anon1903]

What a refreshment!

Thanks on the behalf on all womankind.

It's so fucking annoying how GaG promote all kinds of controversies revolving around sexism. I bet they don't even read it. Pictures good? Okay, you're set.

I'm just joking.

Hopefully.

But your reactions were so hilarious (and reasonable) and I loved your style of writing in particular, so frank...

This is me, folks.

(so Charlie Harper lol).

[Anpu23]

Hi, nice to meet you @bakedbeaniebabie Im Anpu a resident anti-feminist Men's Rights Activist.

Wow, I am so sick of this Alpha/Beta male thing also. This whole thing comes from an oversimplification used by pick up artists to sell books and pack lectures. In other words its about money.

Not that their aren't generalizations that apply to all genders (we all want to be appreciated, desire love and companionship, etc) and much of the "advice" you see is based on these biological facts. The rest is about improving yourself to make yourself more desirable as a mate. (If you can't tell I'm not particularly impressed by the pick up artist culture).

What's interesting to me is the growth of the advice for young men in search of a potential partner. This is a relatively new phenomenon. Of course they'll get it wrong, have you seen dating advice for young women from the 60s?

I'll also share that the worst dating advice I EVER got was from well meaning women in my life. Because what is sexy in RomCom and romance novels is actually creepy in real life. But I would love to see your advice for young men who want to join the dating pool.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at feminist. I'm sorry but I cannot respect or trust anyone who supports the modern feminist movement. We all try to support equality, fairness and justice for everyone, but despite what it claims to be about, what feminism actually does today flies in the face of those ideals. I cannot trust or respect anyone who supports the movement.

[BakedBeanieBabie]

That's on you mate, I don't care.

[Opinion Owner]

I know you don't care. You're a feminist, after all.

[BakedBeanieBabie]

Yup. Thanks for commenting nonetheless mate, the more the merrier.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👏👏👏👏Great GREAT take!! Tac THANK YOU!! Some "people" on GAG really need to read this, and actually HEAR it...
Great job!!!👍👍

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I broadly agree with your basic premises (ie: forget "hacks"; treat each woman and each situation as individual and adapt accordingly; don't look up to sociopaths for dating advice).

That said, I think broad generalisations and rules-of-thumb emerge over time because there's a grain of truth to those general principles that roughly holds up at a meta level of analysis.

That said, general principles lend themselves to corruption when people with ulterior motives commit lies of omission.

That is to say, for instance, that "taking the lead" when courting a girl is BROADLY a sound strategy -- since the experience of many men across time and across cultures would suggest better outcomes than the alternative approach of being passive, docile, and looking to the girl to make every little decision.

BUT the distinction of "alpha/beta male" commits a lie of omission, in that it reduces EVERY facet of EVERY male/female interaction (in a dating context at least) to this single axis of characterisation; based, as it seems, on a totalizing, almost fatalistic win/fail state.

It's like in Talledaga Nights, when Will Ferrell's character builds his whole identity based on his father drunkenly telling him "if you're not first, you're last". Then he repeats it to his dad at the end when the dad's sober, and the dad's like "well that's the stupidest thing I ever heard".

Men who build their identity around this single reductive metric of "alpha" vs "beta" (ie: "if you're not first, you're last") are rarely the sort who spread good humour, good deeds, and good vibes into the world. Instead they become insular and narcissistic, too focused on tallying up this unspoken "score" they hold with attractive women to see and understand that not even their own friends like being around them anymore.

Instead, we should simply recognise that:

A) YES, there is likely a general principle that having mature leadership qualities and the capacity for self-direction and ambition... Is probably better than begging women for attention, and grovelling at their feet, and looking to women to guide their men around on leashes;

B) The fact of this general principle need not constrain our various activities, pursuits, and livelihoods towards a singular self-absorbing pursuit of "alpha-ness".

After all, it takes all sorts to make the world go round. We can't ALL be the loudest most popular guy in the room. And even if we WERE, that would be utterly horrendous to behold. It would be like a symphony orchestra where every player is trying to play louder and faster than all the others. Total cacophony.

There's something to be said for simply knowing one's "niche". I've learned and accepted of myself that my somewhat mild-mannered and introspective disposition probably precludes me from being the "attention vaccuum" in a crowded nightclub on single's night.

But it works to my advantage when I can get a girl one on one, away from the other male baboons beating each other's heads in on the dance floor and pounding their chests in some crass, bizarrely comical display of forced "alpha energy" (*cringe*).

Give me an hour or two with a girl on an evening walk in the park, talking about everything and nothing, and in my own unassuming way, I feel fairly confident I can "lead" things to a romantic place, without ever appearing to have contrived such an outcome. (Even better if it's NOT contrived at all and actually happens "naturally" for real; although I'm not averse to giving nature a gentle nudge at a strategic moment lol.) I may not do so well with big, bold, brash moves that so-called "alpha players" brag about on their weird PUA blogs. But I know what my niche is, and I find I can more effectively lead with offbeat humour and imaginative conversation... Than I ever could through grand domineering gestures and alpha male posturing.

[rjroy3]

Pretty much everything you say here is undercut by the fact that there is what many women say women want and then there's what women actually respond to in the real world/ultimately choose for themselves.

Blah blah beta/alpha doesn't exist. Stop. Call it whatever the hell you want. You know the bade concept of men who are outgoing, assertive and confident widely being attractive to women in general vs the guy who is not those things.

Forget the label. It's irrelevant. Put it to the side. There is an observable reality we see in the world, we've decided to call it one thing. Don't like the name? Fine. That doesn't make the observable reality disappear.

Can definitely concede a lot of guys thinj they know about the opposite sex and what they want. I'll grant that. But practically speaking. You're not going out trying to get women.

You're not speaking from experience or any experience or expertise. You go into your head and try to find what you personally responded to in various guys and you may or may not figure what those things actually were.

Because you know how he made you feel, not necessarily how/why he was able to. That's why women largely are incapable of giving a man sound advice for getting women. Other men on average are far better at giving practical advice in that area.

The reverse is true aswell. A woman who is in the fire can give better dating advice to women on how to get a man than most men can give that girl.

[Goatmeal]

This is an excellent, excellent comment.

[HawkPerception]

I agree with all the stuff you posted and I don't find it to be a "radical feminist" opinion as many guys are stating here. Not sure if they read it properly.

Now that women have the equality that they have wanted and probably a little more rights thab men do nowadays, I only date women who are willing to pay their own bill. You expect me to pay for your time just because you're a girl. I also want a girl that helps make important decisions in the relationship and not just let me do everything. A relationship shouldn't be a fight for dominance. It should be a partnership aiming for equal value on both ends. I don't mind taking turns with house chores or cooking.

There are things that men are and women aren't though. Most men like to be dominant in bed and most women like to be submissive in bed. Men are generally stronger than women so doing more physically exerting tasks like heavy lifting should generally be left to the person less likely to hurt themselves. In that sense I'm a little traditional.

But other than that, what you have stated in this take I completely agree with and aim to find a girl like that.

[Exterminatore]

I’m going off topic here and focusing on one small thing you said. You said women have difficulty navigating their emotions. It’s no secret women tend to be emotional reasoners who by your own admission have difficulty navigating their emotions. I have observed this to be true and noted this in my own wife.


So here’s my question for you and I’m truly looking for an objective answer here and truly not trying to be a jerk as is my normal modus operandi.


If what you’ve said is the case then why are women allowed to vote, to hold office and to run households? We don’t live In an emotional world. The world is facts. Doesn’t matter how we feel about them. Since this is so I’ve always said women should not be allowed to vote. Why should someone who doesn’t know how to navigate her emotions and reasons by them be allowed to decide who will lead nationally or locally. Why would I want an emotional reasoner in charge of nuclear launch codes?


Does this make sense?

[ohshee]

Nice meeting you to, yeah for me I don't need a title,, as matter fact you can call me what you wish it's all good by me well if your post is truly you that I liked it but if you're going to try to get me to hate you well you have to do better than that it's funny how somebody can read a lot of negative things or just likes but in between the lines there's a beauty there that means something if you can see it or hear it as you read it. I guess I'm pretty lucky cuz I am capable of doing it. Anyways nice meeting you too

[bamesjond0069]

I stopped at "they need an equal partner" because only ranting feminists would ever say such nonsense.

Ok cool. I make 6 figures, you better too or you're lazy trash. I am trained in hand to hand combat and firearms. I expect you to be capable of protecting me just as much, better be sparring or at the range and carry 24/7 because i shouldn't have to protect you, no weak girls ugh puke. Check the bump in the night yourself and let me sleep. Should i continue? This is fucking nonsensical.

[Debashree_Das]

Why does equality mean muscle n money. No body is asking you to breastfeed a baby. Just equal respect bro. Chill out.

[bamesjond0069]

@Debashree_Das yeah. Dont expect to breast feed the baby... ill be feeding it with a bottle so kindly fuck off until your turn.

[Debashree_Das]

No man, you gonna be breastfeeding since you want equality in every respect xD.

[bamesjond0069]

@Debashree_Das this is stupid. We would just be equal partners as much as possible obviously. you're talking about magic or fantasy.

[ChrisMaster69]

@bakedbeaniebabie great post.

and fairly spot on for most if not all of it.

it’s nice to have other Brits on here.

there is a marked difference between the UK and the US over a lot of this.

Although at times the UK guys run the risk of falling in to same bowl of poo.

Very much agree on the dating thing being simply an individual on spur of moment thing and not some dating script.

(oh and thanks in advance for the blue negatives lol).

[spartan55]

@chrismaster69
Greetings from across the pond! What do you think those differences are?

[ChrisMaster69]

@spartan55 oh where to start.
Religion is a big one.

Over here things like sex etc is not really a god will damn you for losing you virginity thing.

This then starts the entire body count thing, oh you slept with 2 people, blatantly a slut.

It then moves on to having this entire culture that appears to be dedicated to hating women.

Then this Alpha bollox

But also I think a lot has to do with what society expects guys n girls to be across there and it’s just plain wrong.

Just being nice for the hell of it.

You ask any Brit on GaG what a night out at the weekend is like in Newcastle, they will say it’s literally a party city.

Yeah won’t deny you get usual drunk fights among young guys, it’s expected, but rest of city is just really nice.
We have strong women, but strong women just means the men have to be strong as well.
Historically we had matriarch type households where the mother and oldest girl ran the household.
Men went down the mine, worked in ship yards, joined the military etc.
We actually respect women, it’s not this simp bollox, it’s just at a basic level being nice and respecting another human being, that happens to be a different sex.

[spartan55]

Hmmm, very interesting. The points you list are all true here. I fall on the opposite of all of them, oddly enough. Maybe I need to relocate to the UK. Honestly, much of the ugliness and macho posturing on GaG by those types is the vocal minority.
I was raised to respect women, especially their bodies, and never even think about physically hurting them.
I was introduced to religion and never connected to it and haven't attended since middle school (unless you count weddings)
The body count (hate that fucking term by the way) thing to me is just blatant hypocrisy wrapped up in stupidity. I dated two virgins at different times in my twenties, and the sex was horrible. Give me some experience any day in that area.

[ChrisMaster69]

@spartan55 exactly.

[spartan55]

@chrismaster69
As far as the whole battle of the sexes, I do think it's gotten WAY out of hand. I fall somewhere in the middle on that. I hate the Alpha Cavemen mentality I see here. I think there are elements of truth to a few points, but it gets diluted by the hate surrounding the message.
The two biggest things I rail against on GaG are: friends with benefits arrangements, how trashy they are, and how women rarely, if ever get what they want out of them.
And fucking social media... it just boggles my mind how many young people (especially girls) put SO much value on it. It's a false reality. Anyone with an ounce of critical thinking knows this.

[Anonymous]

i read the whole thing, i'm not a misogynist, but i do enjoy being painted as one by a man hating witch hunt.

i basicaly take it as a compliment, i think i'd rather you all think of me as a that than what i really am, someone who finds women too intimidating to approach haha.

its fun to read more extreme views than yours where more hatred is expressed towards men, particularly parts about "all men being rapists and nothing more"

"All men" its nice to be included in something sexual for once, but by the statements own nature its unrealistic BECAUSE-

i'm a man

and if a woman tried to initiate even consensual sex with me id probably suffer a heart attack lol.

infact women make me sweat with nervousness when they are loud or angry.

i suppose its because i was raised by very strict women, and certainly any sexual interest i showed in girls was met with disgust and revulsion lol

[Goatmeal]

Sorry to hear that. Can relate to the possible consequences of being raised by a. . . shall we say "dominant" woman.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Great mytake, I agree with all of it, I just wish there was ACTUAL dating advice posts out there, ones geared toward finding people who share the same hobbies, interests, and views, instead of all this "what you're doing wrong on a date" crap.

The real reason most people who want an SO are single, is because they can't locate a good match, it's not because they fail at dating in some way, and thats all those "dating gurus" who write that bs ever want to talk about.

We need searching methods, not personality advice, and the alpha-beta-etc. crap is just as retarded as astrology, phrenology, palm reading, fortune cookies, psychology, psychiatry, or any other pompous, assuming, overgeneralizing garbage is going to be, and people really need to just stop with that crap.

[CubsterShura]

A lot of men giving out these advices have a lot of wisdom but that only comes from hooking up with many women and getting their panties wet by hot-and-cold treatment. Rarely do they actually have a long-term relationship or marriage with a woman that he stays with.

It always made me laugh tbh. I wish I could one of them in their face, "If you are so good with ladies why can't you find the woman of your dreams and spend your life with her?"

[anylolone]

I stopped reading after "British feminist", lol!
Just kidding, I should have, but I didn't.
One, clearly this also does applies to "how to get guys", but that's besides the point because there's such things as patterns.
Now, of course everyone is an individual, women and men vary, humans vary, fruits and legumes vary and we still get recipes.

Which is why my most common answer here is "just like/same reason as guys/girls" because that's the truth at least for the most part.

Also, you are wrong on alphas on so many levels, "alphas" were the product of dysfunctional packs, technically in a healthy pack the alphas as just the parents.
But it does completely apply to humans. (difference is that we have several situational hierarchies)

[RealMarek]

In my experience the best way to attract women (if one wants a real relationship as opposed to pick-ups) is to put effort into one’s own health and accomplishments, which results in confidence. With properly earned self-confidence it is easy to be yourself and be honest about what you’re looking for. It is much better than trying to develop “game” to manipulate women to get a desired response, even if that might work with some women.

[Anonymous]

There's really no such thing as an "alpha male", but betas do exist, and the first step to becoming one is listening to dating advice from women. Women aren't "clueless, helpless" creatures. They will intentionally give you advice you what makes their panties dry; a. k. a the friend zone. Maybe it's because they're tired of men always trying to blow their backs out, but it's intentionally misleading. They did a study in America proving this, and it shows that women basically lied about what they're sexually aroused by whereas men are straight forward. My point is that don't listen to women about dating advice or you will definitely end up in the friendzone.

[Shengning]

Before women had to breakup with an alpha guy that cheated her, they would always believe themselves can make the right decision. But after the relationship failed, some women came to their senses that they need to change the way be more cautious to get to know a guy, not just by the looking and surface.

So what we debating here actually is not target to all women group, for men as well. People would change according to time and experience, if by using those date tips, yeah I agree you can get most young naive girls, but for other mature women it's useless.

[Sarah696]

But don't guys prefer young women? It's a win-win then

[Aimée__LJ]

Love this take. Any time I see these posts my eyes roll so far back into my head I can see my brain screaming at the words. Same men that think those tips work are the ones in my dms having me telling them to fuck off because they're being creepy.

[Anonymous]

I would never admit this irl but as I'm posting anonymously I have to say that yes women do crave dominant alpha male "bad boys" (at least me and every woman I've ever met does) but you can't just fake it, if we catch you faking it we will shame you and reprimand you. And all the time in public and under our persona we will say that we don't like these type of men and we actually like nice guys because: 1. We don't want to like these type of men at the end of the day they're really toxic 2. if we said we do like them we will attract a lot of posers who will pretend to be like that just for us to sleep with them that's why we will relentlessly test if you're genuinely cocky or just acting to gain our affection.

[Sarahnah]

Yes for short term hook-ups, but no for long term relationships. I can't imagine building my life together with a "bad boy" type. It's attractive but the emotional connection just isn't as strong as it would be with a nicer guy in my opinion

[Still-alive]

Id lure her into my web with candy. Works like a charm ;)

[BakedBeanieBabie]

Haha that'd work for me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

"Runs to tell J. Jonah Jameson"

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[virtue2332]

I agree. If people paid more attention to the people they were with instead of how they believe other relationships compare they would save a lot of wasted time. Whatever works for your relationship is all thatbmatters. Who cares what anyone else thinks. If you want to know what they meant when they did this ask them. Even then it's 50 50 that you get the real answer.