Hi. I'm BakedBeanieBabie. Annoying, UK-born bisexual feminist.
*But you can call me Baked Bean if you like. We're all friends Here*
I figured I'd get every reason why people will hate me and this post out of the way from the start.
I haven't been on this site long but I have noticed a trend of people who fancy themselves masters at winning women's "affection" and therefore have a lot of opinions on how to obtain the sex and admiration of said women.
Not only that, they have a lot of opinions about women themselves.
Apparently, women are clueless, simple creatures who just need an "alpha male" *BARF* who can help them navigate their complicated emotions that we can't even make sense of ourselves.
No, no, we just need a man who muscles up to us, pays for our food, and is very clear about how much he expects us to be his ideal mate, which means we cannot be fat (but not too thin either), too opinionated (but not without opinions), too smart (but not stupid), and have limited sexual partners (even though the writers claim to have fucked MANY women).
We just gotta find a guy who doesn't ask permission, he just "takes charge" and allow us to be in our natural, submissive state.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but this alpha-beta mentality was never intended to be applied to human beings who live in modern society. Yes, humans are technically animals, but we don't live in an archaic world where these hierarchal functions are necessary or even practical.
Yeah, women are actually completely fine with not being dominated by another person in order to have a happy, fulfilling life and love life. Women don't NEED a man to "take charge"; they need an equal partner who is going to be there for her the same way she'd be there for him.
I guess I should pause to say that there might be women who do like these types of relationships. But that's the thing, isn't it?
Women are not all the same like men aren't all the same.
This is why dating shouldn't be riddled with practiced, tactfully planned "rules" and "hacks" to get into someone's pants or achieve a relationship status with them.
That's not "being a stud" to me, in my opinion, it's dishonest, disingenuous, and kind of manipulative. If you have to follow a set of tricks to get women to like you... maybe you're not naturally very likable at all. In fact, I'd go far enough to say that you could be a very fake person.
Good, likable people don't have to practice "tricks" to make other people like them. Do you know who does that? Sociopaths.
*not all dating advice writers are sociopaths, it was a joke, relax*
Suffice to say, I hope we as humans let this trend go by the way of the dodo, where we stop insisting we have the key to getting universal ass. The truth is you may or may not be successful in dating, and you should approach every new situation with a woman, man, or anyone in between individually.
There are women who don't feel comfortable letting you pay for the date.
There are women who don't appreciate a guy who immediately goes in for a kiss on the first date.
There are women who feel awkward when you insist on them talking about themselves, under the assumption that's all they like to do.
There are even women who prefer to take the lead, who are forward, upfront, and don't like taking a passive role in a relationship while a man tries to steer the course of the date or relationship.
Because we, at the end of the day, are individuals, without a universal set of rules that will ensure we will always like YOU. That's why you're going out with them, isn't it? To see if you like each other?
Read dating tip posts if you want. I just personally find they're usually basic, dumbed-down, disingenuous advice based a lot on bravado, bias, possibly dishonesty, and blanket "tips" you could find dating videos on VHS tapes and on TikTok today.
They rarely differentiate.