So at 46 years old myself, let me tell you by the age of 30 everyone has some type of past, or lack there of. Even having no past is an issue honestly. When is too much history too much verse not enough, and what is worse? To me it all comes down to expectations, mitigating risk, and knowing when the time is right to invest or cash out.
The Credit Metaphor-
Dating someone with history function more less like a credit score. In order to have a good credit score you have to have a history of good credit. At the same time you can still have a good credit history, while carrying a lot of debt. That debt can be burdensome on a relationship.
Someone with no credit history, you have to ask yourself why? Is it because they are broke or do they make so much money that they just never had to borrow?
Enough talk about Credit History -
The metaphor does rings true, if you have a person in their 30s with no dating experience and never married, then you have to ask yourself why? I mean what is it about this person that they got into her 30's without ever being in a serious relationship?
If someone has so much history that can be good or bad, deepening on the history. You have to consider, where are they at in their perspective on the future. I mean do they look at dating you like adding another debt to the tally sheet, or seriously wanting to consolidate all that debt and work through it with you.
Investing in History-
Someone with a lot history, means they made mistakes. Which means there is higher probability they have learned some things. They maybe more willing to put out the minimum amount of effort to explore a potential relationship and be accepting of the risks. But if they have not learned the right lessons from their past experiences. If they lack a degree of objectivity in taking individual responsibility for past failures, they could be doomed to repeat the same mistakes.
Investing in No History-
Someone with no history, means they lack experience about dating. Intelligence can be gained through reading, education and accumulated knowledge. Wisdom is when that knowledge is paired with real life experience and application. If they are lacking in true wisdom, then they could carry greater expectations on outcomes, without being realistic about the required process in order to achieve their goals.
It all depends, if you are in it to win it?
Too much, or not enough history doesn't really matter. Nothing comes for free, you have to give as much as you receive. If you're looking to come out ahead, that means your partner should not be expected to come out behind. There has to be some degree of give and take, and you feel you're giving more then you are receiving then you have make choices. What is you really need verse what it is you would really want.
You're not supposed to win or lose, duh?
There is not supposed to be any winners or losers in love and war, because nobody comes out unscathed. You have to expect loses, and well as the rewards and you have to constantly manage your expectations. Less then 1% of people truly believe they get everything they want out of other people. So when you are honest and sincere about balancing out your expectations on what you really want vs. what you really need, then comes down to if a glass half full type of person or glass have empty?
Half-empty tend to be less compromising with their expectations. Half-full tend to be more willing to emotional commit and work through issues seeing the positive over the negative.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
Relationship is Risk Management for a Banking jab... Risk Management can certainly be foretasted with Credit and Background checks... ;-)
It can be.
I've told those that I was in a relationship with is don't ask unless you really want to know the answer.
Once I tell you I can't untell you.
I totally agree, ya gotta be careful when it comes to this topic and not be a blabber mouth.
Think before speaking is key.
Share the first opinion in your gender
and earn 1 more Xper point!