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When are women going to start taking more responsibility for dating? (Page 4)
Anonymous
(30-35) 
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I honestly think the reason girls are so hesitant to ask a guy out is because of the fear of rejection and how they can have the possibility to come off "too strong" which a lot of men say is a turn off. A friend of mine, for instance, has no problem asking out guys or asking for their number. It's just that everytime she does it she gets a funny look from the guy, like she just really insulted him or something.
I think you make a good valid point, I feel this is the main reason many women don't ask men out & also because of society's old traditions. I've also gotten the funny look before while asking for a guy's number but most of the time, it was me just asking as a friend, I wasen't asking in a flirting way lol. So like u said, it's like guys find girls who are straight forward to come off as "too strong".
Honestly, I believe it is due to us growing up in a household where they raise their daughters that a true gentlemen is someone who asks you out first, holds open the door for you without being asked to, and equally works on the relationship.
My mother always told me that it gives the wrong impression on the guy if the girl will ask him out, in other words make her seem like she can be easily manipulated if she shows interest in him. Personally, I would not ask a guy out due to me not really seeing it proper (and after an experience with a guy, it's really the last thing I want to do). Though, I feel that things should be equal in a relationship where both pay half for the date and both are chivalrous towards one another.
I got laughed at the first time I asked out a girl, shit happens. I don't see how it's not 'proper' to ask a guy out.
Well some individuals are just heartless.
Last time I asked a guy out, he tried to rape me after the first night. So I don't see how that's proper either with being asked out.
I'm sorry to hear about that, but the fact that that happened to you doesn't mean that asking out men is wrong it just means that something very unfortunate and improbable happened when you did. I can absolutely understand why you wouldn't want to ask a guy out after that but I don't quite think it's fair to say that asking a man out is improper.
Not your fault, but thank you.
It's just after that experience it makes me feel that a guy sees the girl as easy and he can do what he wants to her. Where I live at, all the guys are honestly not really gentlemen material.
Yeah it's generally a good idea to do progressive things (like asking a guy out) with people who are themselves a bit more progressive and open-minded. You can't force people to be more open-minded but you can contribute to a paradigm shift by making something more common and socially acceptable.
I'm ballsy as hell.. I don't really give a flying crap who does what. I'll ask a guy out, but we sure as hell are splitting the check.
Omg yes more women should be like you Q. Q
I think you're right, girls who have no luck with their crushes should ask them out, but I don't need to do that, so I will not.
That's fine, no reason to put in the work if you like your options.
This is insane. I'm going through this now and this post so happened to post on my phone... Crazy how things work ou t.. I will be taking this information with me in 2016. Thank you and happy new years 😊☺😊
You know girls bitch about equal treatment and what not but all I see in this thread is them bitching about is why should they have to break gender roles. There is a higher chance of a man saying yes when being asked out by a girl compared to a guy asking a girl out. Guys have a10% chance provided you look like channing tatum while girls have about a 50% chance.
I have asked out two guys so this will be quite hypocrite of me to say
I believe it's the guy's job in being aggressive and trust me girls do a lot of things for guys when they're in relationship.
There are either manyreasons why girl won't ask a guy out
a. Fear of rejection
b. If the guy turns out to be a jerk, the more painful the breakup is for girls than guys
c. Most of the time the guy they like are already in relationship
Also it's being scientifically proven girls are more emotional than guys biologically and because of societal pressures too.
Thus if a girl likes a guy, she will drop hints. I don't see why guys are mad at girls not asking them out? maybe you should take the effort instead of complaining?
I have no problem making a move on a girl, I probably made a move on half a dozen girls in 2015. I'm not advocating a role reversal here, I'm advocating that women step up. Your logic is completely ridiculous in my opinion. You're more likely to get a jerks just waiting around because those are the guys with the 'confidence' generally. They don't care about a girls feelings which is what makes it so easy for them to play the numbers game.
Guys get angry about this because they are the ones who have to put in all the work to get anywhere.
The thing is both the parties share equal amount of responsibilities tbh, girls wear makeup, go to work, take care of their skin, do nail job and lot of other stuff to look better for the societal standards and so they would consider beautiful. If we look at guys they don't have to work harder to look good. Going to gym and taking care of their hair is good enough.
Ofc my answer is going to sound ridiculous bc you don't feel like taking effort into anything.
And no I am not waiting for a guy asking me out, if I like a guy, I will drop hints and get to know him much better eventually I take effort making him fall in love with me. That's how it has worked for me.
That's how it has generally been and that's my obsevation as a girl. Girls are more emotional than guys due to societal pressures and biologically too. Maybe read science more often?
Also fyi there are guys who don't prefer girls asking them out soo
Well hmm I think I have changed my perception, I think girls should ask guys out too but the thing is both male and female need to workout in this.. bc there are male who believe it's their job asking out. Whatever I said before is half true for me but yeah I support your idea now
I also think both genders should do it. I don't want a reverse of the situation.
Yes women put more effort into their appearance I won't deny that. I think we need to teach men to take better care of how they look. I do put in an effort but I get what you mean.
@sanloveshorror "... and trust me girls do a lot of things for guys when they're in relationship." Such as? Have some examples of those lots of things girls do for guys while in a relationship?
I don't really see you girls do much in a relationship either except for more hassle. Despite that none of it matters when your with a new guy. Nobodys gonna go you should put in effort for me because i do a lot in relationships well for one how do we know it will go to that. How do we know you won't cheat like other girls and dont say you would never because we can't know that from your word and we again dont know you.
Lastly those are all ok reasons I guess but men are not more emotionally stable in fact you girls are the male suicide rate is far higher than womans so clearly it should be you girls. Also if those reasons are enough to not ask us out well clearly we didn't mean much to you then and well just move on to the girl who actually couldn't stand to lose us.
Are you me from the future? lol
I had the same idea were I would pose as a guy asking about hinting to a girl and make a myTake about it but you beat me to it.
I totally agree, mang. (y)
I built a time machine and right after I finished it I logged on to GAG. Once online, I saw your myTake and decided that the idea was so fantastic that I had to take all the credit for it. So I went back a few days and wrote this up. And the best part is, nobody is going to believe you when you tell them this. It's the perfect crime, you can't prove anything.
Diabolical!
i268.photobucket.com/.../...bender_zpsaa3adc7f.jpg
Women can vote, be educated, be employed and pretty much do everything a man can do but give for some reason can't ask guys out... equal rights my ass... feminists want to have their cake and eat it too.
Hookers > Feminists. They're independent AND honest.
sorry wrong person again
If I have feeling for a guy I have no problem approaching ask initiating a conversation. If your crushing on this girl so bad why not approach her. The worst that could happen is you might get turned down?
Do you ever ask a man out?
Any time one sparks my intrest
I don't have a problem asking a woman out, and I almost did ask someone out today but we were at work and I got interrupted. I think that BOTH genders should do the asking, I don't want a complete reversal of gender roles I want their elimination.
Exactly !
Really, really good take. I'm going to honest here, I'd didn't expect anything good to come out of an anonymous take, but this has put the cherry on top.
As someone who has no issue approaching a hottie hot hottie
This take ain't for me
Glad to hear it
If you don't hold them to a standard they sure as shit won't hold themselves. I mean why should they? Between the ages of say 5 and 35 women are damned near infallible. there's no consequences (yet) for doing horrible shit or taking advantage of people.
No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.
No matter how shitty she is, someone somewhere thinks her hotness is worth it.
I promise you that I will take more responsibility as a female for my interactions in the relationship between man and woman. I promise I will. And I will tell you exactly when I will take that responsibility. When guys stop farting on their first date with me.
lmaooo good luck with that
Women always give the same excuse: "i don't wanna look to demanding/desperate/forward".
But in my 22 years on this planet, i have never, i repeat NEVER heard any guy say this to a girl. EVER.
This take is not addressed to me, but I still approve of the message and I like it.
When they lose their pride and stop acting so passive.
It will never happen, it goes against their biology.
This next generation of women are going to be incredibly disappointed in the quality of men in their 'acceptable' mating pool.
As they become more successful, the pool of men who are more successful than them shrink.
This is going to be fun watching it play out, especially since they try to marginalize any voice speaking the truth.
Do you want a truth bomb, OP?
This will never happen because men inherently like women more than vice versa. Applies to all other species as well.
The definition of being "female" is that you are a fundamentally different type of organism, which pursues an expensive reproductive strategy. Females bear the cost of pregnancy, lactation, childcare, egg laying, brooding, honeymaking, fruit bearing, and all sorts of other behaviors which are intrinsic to the female.
Males bear very little cost producing sperm or pollen, and so they produce very very many of them.
As a result, the men who wanted women the most fucked the most, and birthed the most offspring. We were naturally selected to desire women.
So this will never change, unless you fundamentally change the biology of men and women. And I don't think that can be done, let alone without serious side effects.
We don't need to change the biology. We have birth control. We are human beings who have the capacity for decision making and rational thought. Some women have already accepted the logic and/or need for these changes, as you can tell from reading their comments, so your assertion that women in a modern society can't take a more active role in dating is disputed by the facts. Yes, I concede that it is possible that you may be right, it may or may not ever be fully equal in some regards, but that's a foolish reason to not pursue change.
No it isn't.
You don't understand the difference between conscious thought and natural urges.
Attraction isn't conscious.
I do understand the difference. Kissing someone after a great date is an urge. Wanting to sleep with them is an urge. Approaching someone with the intention of trying to get a date is a conscious choice. Paying for half the date is a conscious choice. Perhaps it's you who doesn't understand?
Nope, it's you.
Asking someone on a date is a conscious choice. That conscious choice stems from attraction, which is not conscious.
Since men desire women more than vice versa, men consciously pursue women more than vice versa.
There may be some truth to that but I don't think that's an accurate assessment of the situation. That's only a part of the issue.
How is it not accurate?
What are the other parts of the issue?
Many reasons, some of the reasons that women don't ask men out that women here have mentioned are as follows: they don't want to be judged by their peers, they're scared of rejection, they think the guy will think they look desperate or slutty, they think men like to do the chasing, they've never questioned gender roles.
men are said to be gifted with better sense of direction due to our ancestors roles as hunters, but now we don't have to hunt down boars for dinners, do we?
the way we evolved is a different story, though i agree this is how it started, but now if you look at any happy family around you both the partners take responsibility of their family.
sorry to put it bluntly but you are totally wrong by saying it won't change, women are supposed to be raising siblings while men are supposed to deal the world and provide security, but if i use this theory to announce that women are going to stay housewives forever than i will be bashed because it has been already proved wrong, and things are changing in this topic as well
Ice always asked out the guys I've dated/liked. I'll take matters into my own hands.