I'm stuck - 5'8, small frame, please help?

I'm 5'8, 145 lbs. I have a small frame. When I was younger, I didn't really feel like this was a disadvantage. But over the last few years in online dating, I feel like I am incredibly f---ed. I see the height preferences women are stating (5'11 minimum), and I feel like I'm either getting rejected online (for height) or in person (for weight).

I don't know what to do about it. I've thought about a few options:
- I could lean out. This would make me more handsome / chiseled, but I'd be very thin.
- I could get leg lengthening surgery. That would bump me up a few inches in height, but I'd look skinny.
- I could eat bigger (I already work out regularly) and put on 20 lbs of mostly muscle. That would give me size, but my face will get bloated.

What should I do? I feel incredibly stuck. I'm looking for practical, honest (non feel-good) advice.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The girls that are cutting out more than 50% of the male population by default are simply making it known that they aren't the type of girl you should be going after.
    Work out, do not get the leg extension surgery, and work on your face and personality.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • find a tiny girl


What Guys Said 1

  • "online dating"

    There's your problem. Online dating is a loss for any man who is short of perfect, because most women are consistently bombarded with visits and messages, and almost any guy they message will respond to them. It's male competition on steroids, so only the the top 5% or so of men have any business doing anything on a dating site.

    Get ready for the inequality: jonmillward.com/.../

    Most guys observe that girls are easier in high school than in college onward, and that girls are easier in real life than online. This correlates well to the amount of male attention a girl has access to (the least in high school, and the most on an online dating site). This shouldn't be a surprise, when competition increases, the consumer picks the best suitable product.

    The best advice is to stop giving a fuck and definitely stop using OKcupid, Tinder, etc.

    Doubly so if you're shorter than 6' or not white.