All by bf got me for my birthday were some flowers, a card and some balloons.

[Anonymous]

That's all he bought me got my birthday, we have been together 2 years, I understand that his financial situation isn't great at the moment but seriously, he couldn't save up for the occasion? I calculated it and the flowers didn't even amount to that much, the card isn't anything special and the balloons only lasted two days before deflating. I know I sound ungrateful but I saved up for his birthday and got him something amazing that he could cherish forever. Balloons deflate, flowers die so I can't keep any of it. How should I deal with this situation? I have spoken to him about it and he left my House without saying a word.

You're being ungrateful

He should have saved up

[rbrinkxo]

I have no idea when this post was created but I happened to come across it while looking up sonething very similar (silly at 30 years old? maybe, but I don't care.) I felt the need to comment on it because I was just involved in a similar situation. This need became a must when I read the comment that you are being extremely ungrateful. I dont believe you are coming from a place of entitlement thinking that you deserve something huge or extravagant for your birthday. You are coming from a place where you wanted something that took some thought from your SO. Sorry. A card and flowers isn't thought provoking and at that point, just dont bother getting anything at all. Personally, id rather receive nothing over a gift that seemed last minute and something that seemed like an obligation gift. This would add fuel to my already blazing fire. A healthy relationship requires give and take, equal in effort of meeting needs and expectations, healthy communication, and the ability to agree to disagree. In no way should you feel anything less than disappointed like you did. The idea that you deserve the same in return for your birthday is in no way being ungrateful, thats being reasonable and knowing your worth. Men who commented that you should feel lucky for him remembering is absolutely ridiculous lol. Its your SO, if they dont remember your birthday and strive to make it a little special.. than maybe you should rethink them being your SO. Its about being a brat and crying that you didn't get everything you ever wanted. Its the fact that you felt like a last minute thought, unimportant, and let down. Those are reasonable feelings in my opinion. The way you communicate these feelings and the way they come across to him is tricky. No man likes their ego hit, but girl, let him know that you deserve some thought and that your disappointment should be heard. Maybe you both can learn something from this. Best of luck!
Also. Don't let anyone on this opinion based website tell you your feelings, thoughts, and emotions are unreasonable or dont deserve validation.

[bunny_luv]

i'm sorry to hear how you're feeling. at least he did make an effort and maybe he doesn't understand how important it was to you that he got you something you could cherish for a long time... maybe to him it was the fact that he spent your day with you and that he got you something to enjoy on your birthday... whether it was just balloons, flowers and card... the point is he didn't forget... by the way I ended up doing my boyfriend's laundry and making dinner on my birthday so I can understand... take care and try not to be to hard on him.

[Asker]

Thank you for understanding

[Account]

Oh wow... I think you are being extremely ungrateful and you probably hurt him a lot by talking to him about it. He probably did the best he could do with his current situation. You made him feel very inadequate and I don't really blame him that he left without saying a word. I'd do the same if I were him.
At least you can acknowledge the fact that you're being ungrateful. You need to fix it, otherwise you will end up hurting the people you love.

[Asker]

He needs to get his priorities together. He partied all weekend with his boys yet couldn't put much thought into my gift when I went out of my way to get him something amazing

[xHoneyxBeex]

Wow, yeah you're being extremely ungrateful. It shouldn't be about how much he spends on you, it's the thought that counts and it sounds like he did put thought into it. It was such a sweet gesture to get you flowers and balloons and this is how you're acting? He could have not gotten you anything but at least he put in the effort to get you SOMETHING. I don't mean to be rude, but you seem very spoiled and that's not cool.

[Asker]

I know, I appreciate your input but I just expected so much more 😔

[xHoneyxBeex]

I understand but I really think you need to re-evaluate your perception of this. You know he doesn't have a lot of money so having unrealistic expectations will leave you feeling disappointed every time.

[Asker]

I know but u saved up and thought he would see that I done that and think it was sweet and then do the same for me

[xHoneyxBeex]

Well... you seem to put a lot of emphasis on money and materialistic items. Perhaps he doesn't see the importance of that as you do. And it shouldn't be about that anyway.

[Asker]

He knew what I was like when he met me

[llorando]

And you probably knew is financial situation when you meet, so it works both ways.

[xHoneyxBeex]

So? That doesn't make it okay for you to behave in such a spoiled, ungrateful way. Again, I'm not trying to be rude, but try seeing it from his perspective. If he doesn't have a lot of money, why should he have to save up so much and spend it all on you? If he is struggling financially, you should understand that and have more realistic expectations.

[Asker]

I'm a pros grad student and my finances are more dyer than his and I saved and made his bday special. He goes clubbinb and for drinks and could have saved if he wanted to

[xHoneyxBeex]

Just because YOU did something doesn't mean you should expect him to. Look, he put in thought and effort, apparently it just wasn't "good enough" for you which I think is extremely bratty and rude. At least he got you something.

So, if this is seriously that much of a problem for you then just break up with him so he can find someone who isn't so fixated on money and how much he spends for her birthday.

[Asker]

Once I find someone better I will leave him. Right now as a student I'm comfortable and don't have time to meet anyone new

[xHoneyxBeex]

Oh so you're just staying with him because you're comfortable but waiting for someone "better." That's nice. You're starting to sound more and more like a gold digger.

[xHoneyxBeex]

But anyway, that's none of my business. But hopefully he can find someone who is more down to earth and will appreciate his thoughtful gestures.

[Asker]

I'm not a good digger, I just don't want to waste my time with a cheap guy who doesn't know my worth

[rthomas43]

Upon reading the exchange that too place on this opinion, I find myself wishing for a large wild animal to the asker sometime in the near future. Or at the very least, for her boyfriend to dump her ass so he can move onto someone worth a damn.

[Asker]

You want me to be eaten by a large animal? Lol what's up with that? And he can't find someone who likes cheap lazy men if he feels like it but he won't find anyone of my standard

[rthomas43]

"but he won't find anyone of my standard"

Which is the point. He's probably tired of being a bottom feeder. Homie needs to turn you in for an upgrade.

[Asker]

I'm way hotter than he is so upgrade doesn't exist. Also this isn't about who's better it's about him being cheap and not being thoughtful. You're just judging me and you don't even know me. Most guys would love to date me and if he wants to keep me he should step up his game

[Vesuvius87]

I don't know. I'm kind of with the asker on this one too. As a 27 year-old woman, a good gift a bf can give me if get a cheap small album and put printed out pictures of us, any pic... at least something that shows maturity and he actually put some thought into it. But ballons and flowers after 2 years together and when you're not even teens nor in your early 20's?

Plus, I just read this guy spend the whole weekend clubbing with friends. That right there tells me this guy didn't even consider her b-day, at least save a bit for that one occasion and make it special.

[Vesuvius87]

I'd rather have the same album of us with updated pics on each of my b-day than flowers that will rot within 2 days or so and brings no value at all.

[xHoneyxBeex]

@Vesuvius87 I completely disagree. But then again, I'm not materialistic and I don't have unrealistic standards for birthday gifts. Hell, I don't even need a gift, I would be perfectly happy just spending time with a boyfriend on my birthday. The point is, he DID put thought and effort into it, it just wasn't up to her high expectations. If you want to talk about maturity, I don't think it's mature at all to be that picky about a birthday gift.

[Vesuvius87]

@xHoneyxBeex it's not about the gift nor how much it cost. I really don't care about any of that. I don't want elegant restaurants nor jewelry... none of that. What I'm trying to say is, it would be better if he does or gets something that can be symbolic or remembered instead of just a cheesy b-day that sounds like someone got you on the last minute.
For example, if a bf actually couldn't get me anything but actually came to visit me on my b-day and took the time to look at a recipe online and cook a meal for me or bake me a cake... even that would make me feel special.

[Vesuvius87]

and by the way that's not even materialistic at all... because if it was a bf's b-day I would go out of my way to make him feel special too.

[xHoneyxBeex]

@Vesuvius87 Okay, who cares if it's cheesy? As I said before, I don't even need a gift at all, I would be more than happy just spending time with him. I have been given flowers before on my birthday from a guy and I was damn happy about it because I thought it was sweet and it at least showed that he was thinking of me and remembered.

So my point is, at least her boyfriend DID put in effort and got something for her. I don't understand these people who are so picky about birthday gifts. Just because you can't save flowers or balloons doesn't mean the guy didn't care. I mean really, this is all so beyond immature. I've simply never been the type of girlfriend to care that much about what my boyfriend does for me on "special occasions." I'm not picky and I'm not going to bitch and get mad if a guy gets me flowers... so I don't understand that mindset.

[Vesuvius87]

I guess we're all different and some of us do find certain occasions important. I don't care too much about Valentine's day and would be happy just being with him but my b-day and Christmas are the only exceptions.
Would you be happy receiving ballons and flowers and a card he quickly bought in every single b-day?

[xHoneyxBeex]

Oh my gosh. Lol As I have said numerous times before, I could not care less. I don't need a guy to buy me ANYTHING on my birthday because I don't think that's what's important. If he wants to buy me something, I would be grateful and happy about it but it's not a necessity and I certainly wouldn't bitch and complain if it was flowers "every single b-day"

Sure, everyone is different, I never said otherwise. My whole answer is my opinion so I'm not sure why you're still trying to argue with me.

[xHoneyxBeex]

@Vesuvius87

[madhatters4]

hopefully the material items are second to how good an actual guy he is. if you have issue with him as a bf as opposed to the material items he can give you then I think you may have an argument but if your only issue is that he gave you a card, flowers (which can be pricey depending), and balloons (it's not his fault they deflate) then I think you are being too shallow

[Asker]

I'm not being shallow. He clearly didn't appreciate what I done to get him something special and he took the easy option and got me that shit

[madhatters4]

it's shallow... and I don't mean to be rude, just being honest, to think that a gift you receive should commensurate with a gift you've given. Gift giving is about giving something that shows how you feel. it's not about giving something so that you'll get something of equal or greater value in the future. You mention his money is tight, so if you truly care about him and his future, perhaps try and consider that you shouldn't want him sort of throwing caution to the wind regarding finances and breaking the bank for you.

frankly it sounds to me like you don't appreciate his gift and that's fine. perhaps there's more to this relationship (which I asked you to perhaps talk about) then we know. but for me personally, I don't give a crap what someone gets me for my birthday. It's important they remember, and any gifts are a plus.

[Asker]

I guess so but where I put so much effort into his gift and he got me flowers sucks it's a low blow. He used to buy his ex flowers all the time so he didn't exactly make me feel special

[madhatters4]

don't compare yourself to his ex's. they were special when they weren't his ex's and you are special as well.

I get it you feel like it shows a lack of appreciation but if this is the only issue in your relationship I think you need to give him a pass and maybe just realize that he isn't the most creative gift giver. perhaps next year you mention to him that he doesn't need to waste his money on flowers and balloons because those gifts die after a few days. maybe tell him that the cost of a gift isn't important but the thought behind it

[Asker]

I will speak to him about I properly and hopefully find some common ground I just feel he took the easy option and thought that it's good enough for me

[TheOnlyWhom]

Sounding a little materialistic to me. At least he remembered your birthday? Whatever happened to the thought of it or someone doing it because he just cared. Whose to say that he isn't saving up for something else in the future for you or the fact that its so close to Christmas he doesn't have something big for you then?

[Asker]

I understand it's the thought that counts but he could get me flowers any day of the week, my birthday is supposed to be special and be ruined it for me by not even trying

[TheOnlyWhom]

How do you know he didn't try? You said yourself you know recently he's been struggling financially. Maybe he really wanted to get you that fancy jewelry, or that custom made bear, or something nice but he just could not afford it. And coming from a guy who has like 7 dollars in my bank account, if you were my girl you'd be getting a custom made card off the computer and a bar of chocolate. Sometimes you just can't save up. The world says we have to have this thing called money to pay bills and gas and to get around. Its the weirdest thing i tell ya.

[Asker]

That's not true, even if he made something I wouldn't complain, it's the fact that flowers are cliche and shit

[TheOnlyWhom]

Point is though he tried did he not? He remembered did he not?

[Asker]

Tried and failed miserably, why should I even consider sex with him after this shit

[TheOnlyWhom]

why would he consider sex with you after this? Again i say maybe you just can't read. There is this thing world tells us we have to survive its called money, we use it to pay our bills, put gas in the car, get places. Sometimes it runs low and we can't afford everything we would like. Thats life.

[Asker]

That's why he could have been thoughtful and taken me to a gallery or something considering me knows my passion for art. The gallery is free but it shows he knows my passions. It isn't difficult he's just lazy

[TheOnlyWhom]

Well, just from the sounds of it you are one of those impossible to please women. If he had taken you to the gallery and that was it you'd probably be on here complaining about how he didn't get you anything for your birthday. Just took you to the gallery. and vice versa. I feel sorry for your man. He at least tried something. And like i said it is close to Christmas maybe he had/has something special planned for then that took money away he didn't have.

Oh and PS gallery isn't free, still have to pay the gas or public transit to get there and back.

[Asker]

I wouldn't complain that he didn't get me anything, stop making generalisations please it isn't fair

[eddzeeman]

probably made him feel ashamed that 1, his financial situation isn't good 2, you obviously werent happy with the thought that he did get you something 3, feels worthless. If I were him id be telling myself im a worthless piece of shit who doesn't deserve her because I couldnt afford her a gift although she knows my financial situations. You probably just caused some strain on your relationship.

[Asker]

I didn't want to make him feel low but he made me feel that ways too. I was expecting something amazing, not necessarily expensive but something I could at least tell my friends about. I know I probably hurt him but I didn't mean to

[eddzeeman]

Well next time think about how he feels as well not just your own. You really think if he could get you a gift he wouldnt? you are just being selfish, be greatful that you have someone in your life who recognized your birthday. Honestly you sound materialistic, and that thoughts or actions really dont impress you. Not only that but you KNEW his finacial situation, and yet still made it worse by making him feel more like shit. GL

[Asker]

He knew what I was like before he dated me and he said it was cute. I can't help how I am and I don't keep it a secret, what you see is what you get and if he can't afford me then he should just come out and say it

[eddzeeman]

With that attitude no one will ever take you seriously or be able to afford you. no offense but to you be he seems like a good dude. Just know that you made him feel even more like shit

[Asker]

If he feels like that perhaps it's a sign for him to change

[eddzeeman]

I can already get a picture of how you really are just based on your responses. Dont you see that both you and him knew his financial situation? Yet you still go to him without being impressed because you didn't get a ' not necessarily an expensive gift, but one I could show off too my girlfriends" (materialistic). Im suprised your actually 25-34 years old and acting this way (im 23). Once you know what it feels like to be alone, you will realize how much of a, xcuse my french, bitch you are. Maybe its time for you to look in the mirror and change yourself. the way I see it, he is a good dude. I mean you even "calculated" how much the flowers and balloons cost. How shallow can you get?

[Asker]

Well what would you buy your gf of two years? He's a cheap, lazy ass that's the bottom line and all the guys here defending him are probably the same way

[eddzeeman]

My gf would understand my financial situation, hence she would accept my thought and action. I would then prize her when the situation gets better. Stop being such a little princess

[Asker]

Thing is, if we just spent the day together I would be happy as it's free but time is priceless. He partied with his boys all weekend so he can't be that broke and the gift idea he bestowed on me is just lazy and he thinks I'm the kind of girl who will settle for his shit. I don't think so

[eddzeeman]

Well whatever gets you to sleep at night. But based on what you wrote, you both knew the financial situation but you added more fuel to the fire, because whatever he did, it wasn't enough. Im not suprised he's pissed, and honestly I wouldn't talk to you for a few days if it were me

[Asker]

He needs a break anyhow as do I

[DodgersGM]

I don't know what the dude's financial situation is like at the moment, but since you mentioned it in your post, I'm lead to believe that he's in a bit of a rough patch at the moment?

Honestly, flowers, balloons, and a card sound like the guy put some thought and care into this. It's hard for me to understand why you feel shortchanged.

Did he write a personal note in the letter, or just like sign his name or something?

[Asker]

Just a casual card, thing is I put so much effort into his gift and just wanted him to show he appreciated me. It's two years, he didn't buy me anything last year and this year he got me that. He went out over the weekend with his boys so he clearly has money to do that, they're always out together so he's finances aren't that BAd

[kittykatg]

I would be thrilled if my fiancé got me that for my birthday. He's not big on celebrating things plus our financial situation has been tough. For my birthday last year we couldn't really afford to do anything but he still took me out to dinner. The restaurant was some cheap little chain but I was grateful that he tried. You should be too, he tried to give you something you like and all you can focus on is what he didn't do.

[Asker]

That's different

[kittykatg]

How is that different? I can't keep a dinner just like you can't keep your flowers or ballons. both of our men were in tough spot financially.

[kittykatg]

The dinner for the two of us was probably under $20 while I'm sure your flowers cost more if you want to play that game. Be grateful that he even tried to be sweet.

[Asker]

Because it's a lazy thought after two years

[kittykatg]

We've been together two years too.

[Asker]

Cute :)

[Kyndra]

I doubt this is all about having something to cherish. You could press one of those flowers in a book and dry it to keep it, or at least take a photo of the whole gifts together. You are being ungrateful and you probably made him feel really bad with the speech about how what he can afford is not good enough.

[Asker]

Thanks

[mutedaisy]

Stop bebeing an ass to him. He went out of his way to get you something and you're complaining showing hihim how ungrateful you truly are. When he does have more money he won't want to buy anything for a girl that can't appreciate his efforts. I don't care if this is mean, you're so uncool for that.

[Asker]

I know I already feel bad, I will apologise to him but I still want him to understand that I deserve to be treated better

[lolok]

You deserved to be treated better? Are you a troll or this is real? Now I see why guys are less and less prone to marry!! Western girl are soo materialistic! Of course he should treat you good but getting flowers for your birthday is already exceptional!!! That kills me !!

[Asker]

I can understand where you're coming from but I mean, I saved for his bday why couldn't he return the favour? That's what I meant, if nobody can understand that then you're crazy

[mutedaisy]

He treated you like his girlfriend. He's not off giving random girls or even his friends flowers, balloons, or cards.

[lolok]

But what is the probleme? The gift is too, cheap for you? You wantes something like a designer bag or the probleme is that you won't be able to keep the gift for a long time?
may be you can tell us what you bought for him so we could understand why you're so disapointed. But I think you're being childish or may be you just don't love the poor guy

[Asker]

I just wanted something thoughtful not something expensive or of high monetary value. I wanted him to see me and buy something or even make something that shows he knows me. He bought his ex flowers all the time so getting that on my bday doesn't say "I'm special"

[Error_204]

When money substitutes for other problems you create confusion. It has nothing to do with the cost but everything to do with what you consider to be "investment". The fact that you cite your own investment means you feel a lack of reciprocity which is often a sign of a lack of either intimacy or connectivity. A shot in the dark.

[Asker]

I just think he should have tried harder

[Error_204]

But how? What did he miss?

[Error_204]

Let me ask a different question altogether, and the real one: What do you wish he had done? What would have made your birthday perfect in your eyes?

[Asker]

Saving up for something better

[Error_204]

What is "better"?

[Asker]

Even if he printed a pic of us and framed it that would have been thoughtful and has no monetary value that would have been great. So something that isn't cliche, he has probably bought flowers for many diff women in his lifetime.

[Error_204]

That's what I thought. The lack of interpersonal value.

[Asker]

I agree

[Error_204]

Did you tell him that he cheapened your birthday by not making it personal and being so generic that it was beyond insulting? I actually understand where you are coming from and completely agree that he was out of line. He had 2 years to get his shit together and either make some effort to craft something meaningful or save some funds to get something he planned in advance. It sounds like he forgot and totally ran to the grocery store or something and show up with some bullshit hoping to blow it over.

[Asker]

I would appreciate it more it he said he couldn't afford to get me anything this year and we just hung out together that would be fine. But the weekend following he went clubbing all weekend with his mates

[Error_204]

That's even worse. This dude is a dick.

[Asker]

So I know he had the option to save for something special if he wanted to. He got me what he thought I would settle for

[Error_204]

Which I totally wish you had said in your opening paragraph because now I sympathize with you all the more. The fact that he really didn't do anything, didn't want to do anything, and made no effort after two years is sad but then to turn around and act the fool despite prior having this excuse of being impoverished just seems so... sad and shady.

[Asker]

I know I should have been more specific. The opening statement just makes me look like a horrible person but that isn't the case. He just couldn't be bothered, that is how it made me feel and shows that he didn't deeply appreciate what I got for him

[Error_204]

That's what I presumed. You wouldn't have posted the details you did (such as how long your relationship was) if there wasn't something amiss that was a bit more beneath the surface. So now it is revealed that the man really had no reason for his behavior and that he was being lazy. A lazy lover is painful all the time. It is something that is very difficult to put up with.

[Asker]

Yes I saw it as lazy also. I love art and the galleries near us are free and he couldn't even know me enough to bring me there. It's completely free and I would have been satisfied

[Error_204]

You don't even sound difficult to please. He is really not thoughtful.

[Asker]

I'm not difficult to please. I appreciate real thought and not just something simple because it's easy. I want to build a relationship with someone who likes to prove they know me

[Error_204]

Well at least now we know it's an intimacy issue.

[Asker]

I guess you could say a connection thing..

[Error_204]

So what shall you do moving forward?

[Asker]

I will speak to him about it properly as that's the best thing to do for us both. Perhaps he will think about it next time and I will react differently. im not perfect I know that much but still I don't ask for nigh.

[Asker]

Much

[Error_204]

Sounds good.

[Asker]

Well once we talk I will update on here, it's just really annoyed me for some reason. I know I haven't put my best foot forward on here hence why I'm posting anonymously

[Error_204]

And that's fine. That's most of the people here. Don't worry about it.

[Asker]

Thanks for your understanding and being open minded about it all :) says you're a balanced person

[Error_204]

Bah, I'm just crazier than the rest of these guys.

[Asker]

Loool guess so babe

[MAJ4251]

Are you kidding me? If you're like that, he shouldn't have gotten you anything.
And if you've been together for 2 years, after all the birthday gifts/ anniversary gifts/ Christmas gifts, maybe he ran out of ideas. I'd be happy if my fiance got me flowers and balloons for my birthday. Quite honestly, as long as I spent the occasion with him, I'd be happy.
Appreciate what you got.

[purplepandas90]

Seriously! I love thinking of creative & romantic gifts that remind me of my bf or an inside joke.. something like that. But I feel like I'm all out of ideas some days. People can't always think of an epic gift every single time. Geeze!

[Asker]

Be didn't buy me anything last year and for our anniversary either. This year was supposed to be different.

[FashionistaChick]

Sweetheart I think you're being a little ungrateful. I think a card, flowers, and balloons was a great gesture. At least he got you something, he remembered, and he's still around. I know you thought just because you saved up he should do the same but instead of reacting like this you should've said thank you. Because honestly he could've dumped you the day before your birthday so he wouldn't have to spend... yes there are guys like that

[Asker]

He's being cheap- cheap guys find excuses for everything

[purplepandas90]

What did you say to him? Just a simple bouquet of flowers can be like $25. I think those three together is a sweet gift. Some people just suck at saving money, like me. I seriously don't see anything wrong with what he got though, to be honest with you. I love getting flowers.

[Asker]

I don't mind flowers on any standard day of the week but on my birthday is a little lazy in thought

[purplepandas90]

Well just by that sentence I understand where you're coming from. But that's something you can't change in a person. Someone is either thoughtful & romantic or not I think. I mean sure they can change on their own I'm sure, but you telling him to be thoughtful will only upset him & it probably won't change who he is.

[Asker]

I totally get that but I just feel let down but thanks for your advice

[bubble_tea]

I don't think he should have saved up, but I don't think you're ungrateful either.

in my opinion if he doesn't have the money, he should put more effort into making a gift. He could have painted the card instead of buying one. Or instead of buying flowers and balloons, he could have used that money to buy ingredients to bake you a cake.

[Asker]

I agree. I like art and he knows how passionate I am about it, the galleries near is are free so he could have arranged a day out but he isn't thoughtful

[Vesuvius87]

Well said. I don't think the asker is demanding too much. She is only saying he could have taken the time to considerate her b-day, esp after they've been dating for 2 whole years and give it some thought instead of not trying too much. The gift he gave her is mainly for HS sweethearts or if they were both 18-20 yr-olds.

[p0rtis26]

Man, you are being a little rough on the guy. Well next time communicate with him what you would like as a gift. If your love language is gifts, then he should want to step up his game in that area if reasonable. But I think it would really show your character in a positive light if you were appreciative for what he did for you even if you feel slighted.

[Asker]

He just didn't try yet he partied all weekend with his boys so clearly he just too the quick easy way out

[loda1994]

if my gf is financially unable then i would take anything without a second look, for god sake give me a 1$ bar of chocolate. all my gf did last birthday is tell me happy birthday and a picture collage of us with her having most pictures.

if you believe he could have done better then you have the right to be mad.
by the way what did you get him?

[Asker]

That's cute the pic of you guys, u wouldn't mind something like that as it's thoughtful and means something. I got him a laminated plaque with the dates on it from his most memorable times during his life, things he talks passionately about. It would make sense it you knew him.

[loda1994]

Sorry but it wasn't thoutful or cute and I had to make the fakest smile ever. This is the kind of gift you give for no reason. Fo my bd I want something all about me. doesn't have to be expensive but has to e for me.

[Overvalerie]

I've read some of your comments and I don't think it's about about the gifts, I think it's that you think he hasn't made much effort.
He could make effort without spending any money - walk in the park, picnic (okay, maybe wine and nibbles).
I think you're obviously annoyed about something you haven't straight out mentioned, and you should talk to him about this.
Whether he bought you cheap flowers or expensive jewellery, if he did it without much thought it means the same. Likewise he shouldn't have to spend a fortune for you to feel appreciated.

[Asker]

I didn't want a fortune to be spent at all

[Shawnilulu]

Id be happy if i got a piece of paper that just said happy birthday on it from my bf...

Well i didn't get the flowers and balloons i got the card and i was happy and appreciated with just that.

Be happy he cared enough to give you something it wasn't a wedding anniversary. And you can i don't know dry the flower in a book and save them with the card and balloon when it deflates i did tgat with a rose and. balloon i had gotten one year for Valentine's day i wasn't. even expecting anything.

Just well you have to be appreciative hun...

[Asker]

And you settled, now he thinks he will be ok to do that all the time and to any future girlfriends he may have- nice

[Shawnilulu]

Yes actually its very nice because he used the money he had to get me something whewhenn he did not have to. That wasn't settling that was being appreciative. I don't understand why people have to have such extravagant things in order to be happy? Once in a while sure Go to Jared but things are better to me when they are more from the heart.

What is it better to do what you did? and be like eww omg you only got me flowers and a card! How could you? No thanks hun ill pass... You don't find that the least bit rude? Id rather him stay inside the door not walk out of it. And no one said you had to buy him an amazing gift... maybe next time change it up. Hello DIY? :)

Like for example for him i remember we didn't have much money so i bought a huge card and made a little book of 10 things i love about you and he loved it and still has it. That was something from the heart not going out buying video game systems and such. Things mean more from the heart not. from the department store.

[Anonymous]

Is this serious? Do you realize how much you're being a bitch? Excuse my french but I'm being real here. Be grateful to have someone who cares for you! You can't be that materialistic!!! Did he forget you're birthday? No ! So that's enough and you should be happy to even get flowers and a card when other people struggle to have any relationship!!

[Asker]

Sure, I get it but he should have tried harder like I did

[PLLFan21]

Sorry. You are being ungrateful.. really it's the thought that matters. He really didn't have to get you anything. Appreciate all the small/big things in life. And don't always expect more, usually doesn't turn out your way. You should apologize. If not, and you can't appreciate him or what he buys you.. then break up with him. He shouldn't have to deal with that.

[Asker]

I will apologise to him but I still want him to understand where I'm coming from

[PLLFan21]

Okay. Hope it all works out

[Asker]

Thanks

[Cryostatic]

If you did decide to make a big deal out of this, I hope it was about the generic and transient nature of the gifts and not about the cost.

Because that would make you a pretty shitty human.

[Asker]

It was about the whole thing and maybe I overreacted when he handed it to me, he didn't say a word he just left in silence and we haven't spoken since

[Cryostatic]

Not surprising. Look, I understand that it sucks when you're given a gift that someone clearly put no thought into. Personally, I don't like the idea of gift cards for that reason. If there isn't some kind of meaning behind a gift, I'd rather not receive one.

But at the end of the day, it's a gift. A gift is something that you are given, but not entitled to, and as such, it's extremely poor form to reject or complain about the gift, especially to the giver.

Later on, it would have been fine for you to say something like "the flowers were lovely, every time I'd see them I'd smile and think of you, it's a shame they die so fast" and you'd in effect be telling him that you'd prefer gifts from him that you can treasure for a long time.

But you really don't know what kind of thought he put into the flowers, or effort at finding ones he thought you'd like, or agony at not being able to afford better he may have went through, so it's always better to err on the side of graciousness.

[purplepandas90]

You probably made him feel horrible about himself, even though he shouldn't. You know what I got for my bday? My bf trying to steal some cute clothes for me & getting thrown in jail. So I didn't even get to see my bf for my birthday & haven't been able to hug or kiss him in 2 months :[ I'd take flowers any freaking day.

[Asker]

@purplepandas90

Nobody sent your bf to prison so you any relate, of course you would like flowers from your bf because he isn't even around, I'm sure his time would be enough. You clearly don't understand the situation enough to comment on it.

[Asker]

And yes dude thanks for understanding, I totally get it but I put so much thought into his gift and then he lazily gets me kiddy stuff

[kmf111]

to be honest, you sound like a hateful girlfriend who stomps her feet when she doesn't get her way. Men aren't the best gift givers for 1. 2 if he is in a sticky situation maybe he did his best and got whatever he could afford, he probably has bills. And flowers are awesome. Be thankful. He probably left because when men aren't able to "go all out" and spend a ton of money on you they feel bad, and when you point it out you probably made him feel like shit. Men want to provide so you hurt his ego. Call him and apologize and tell him how lucky you are to have a man who thinks about you

[Anonymous]

i am sorry but you are being really ungrateful and you should apologize to him.. i mean i see where you are coming from but the things he bought you were in a symbolic lets say way and they were a really cute gesture from him.. he didn't think of it like you did but from a different pov.. but anw does it really matter? the thing that matters is that he though of you and he loves you and not how much money he gave to buy you a gift or what the gift is.. and by saying that i think you heard him deeply! and what exactly did you told him if you dont mind me asking?:)

[Asker]

I got him a memorable give comorating some aspect of his childhood and had it out on a plaque and he got me that cliche stuff? I said that he couldn't even put any thought In to my gift and said he didn't make me feel special

[Opinion Owner]

ok.. but its what i told you that he didn't thought of it like you do know... and pleasee apologize to him, bc i am 100 percent sure that you hurt his feelings.. and i think that when you give something you dont expect something in return so you shouldn't compare your gift to his.. at least he remembered you.. there are guys that even talk to you the day of your brthd and do not even say a happy birthday! be grateful for what you have and now that youve mentioned it you might get what you want next time:)

[Asker]

I will apologise but I will not hide my true feelings

[Opinion Owner]

ok thats up to you and i really believe that partners should share their feelings and if they didn't like something they should say it so that there are no secrets! you have the right not to like what he got you but i want you to understand that he at least though about getting you somethin (really sweet) you should be grateful for what you have.. you think that you got him something amazing and maybe you did but perfect is different for everyone.. what if he came and told you he expected something different and you disappointed him? just saying how he might feel..!:)

[Asker]

Well I appreciate your comments as they're open minded it can see you take a balanced view on the world and maybe I could learn something from you :)

[Asker]

I know I'm rather spoil. I was raised to get what I want when I want and guys but me things all the time inc flowers so I have grown accustomed to this treatment

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for your comment and well... if you were raised like that its not really your mistake.. and i understand that maybe from getting flowers all the time you expected something more special but i think that guys are not like us girls that we will think about something carefully and want it to be perfected.. maybe there are but i think most of them are not like this.. so its not like he didn't think of you its just that maybe he didn't know what to buy so he bought flowers.. a think that all girls "love" so that he will be sure and safe that the gift will plss you.. its not his fault that guys are after you and you were given flowers multiple times;-)

[Asker]

You're sweet, iv notice the people under 18 are more opeinded about my issue so please don't change :) I will try to be more open to things and not be so spoilt but again you're very sweet :-*

[Opinion Owner]

thanks very much and believe me i dont plan on changing.. and there is no reason to judge you like some people do bc its just how you felt you can't choose what to feel.. we can just tell you our opinion and try and make you understand some things in order to help you.. and for the under 18 i dont know i haven't noticed anything:-)

[Asker]

Lol well thanks anyway babe

[Opinion Owner]

no problem! any time:-)

[GoldCobra]

I guess he should've put in the effort and saved up. Common courtesy if u did it to him. I would like to give my gf if I had one something that would make her feel special to me.

I don't know how bad his financial situation is though. If it's really that bad then maybe he couldn't do it. I think either way, you should still be grateful.

[Asker]

He should have said that to me then, he has enough money to go out with the boys and for drinks so he clearly took the easy option and thought id settle without argument