Girls: when you said you're undecided, what do you want us to do?

[Anonymous]

I asked a girl out a long time ago, she said she was uncomfortable because she didn't know me enough. So we starting chatting and it turns out we get along quite well. So we've been texting daily over the past 18 months, hung out together several times, and shared some personal stuff with each other. Personally I tot the relationship was at a dating level already, but just missing the going out, the intimacy, and an official label as such.

Recently I texted her some lovey message, she replied back that it sounds weird, it sounds like something a bf would send, but since it's near V-day she understands why i would send it. I asked what she meant, she said because she knows guys need to remind girls that they're still interested in them, esp. on V-day. So I asked if she saying that was her hinting that she was still interested in me.

She said it just means she's undecided. Because I lack a certain appeal that several of her female best friends seems to have. Even though she likes me, but she's not sure if she's okay with me not having that appeal. And no she doesn't have another guy in mind.

So what does that mean, really? I would really love to win her heart because she's been with me through thick and thin, even when I went through some relationship troubles. I'm not in a hurry to meet other girls either, having failed several attempts and realising she's the best one.

Girls, when you say you're undecided, what would you be wanting the guy to do/or not do for you? Is it to be patient and not to rush you?

Updates

+1 y

Now that I've thought more about it, she means to say that I'm not in the friendzone. But neither is she actively considering about me.

She just wants to wait it out and let the fates decide.

[Anonymous]

Yes, be patient and don't rush. Omg can't stress that enough. Guys don't seem to get that.

[Asker]

alright gotcha. :D By the way, does that mean you had several guys get away because they weren't patient enough to take the time with you?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I got myself into a bad situation because of a guy that just didn't stop pushing from then on, I don't even give the guy a chance.
If you think about it, it shows a lot about the person.

[Asker]

True! You make a good point.

[Opinion Owner]

Also I don't believe what guy anon said, it's not necessarily the 'friend-zone''

[Asker]

I agree with what you said! And that's what she herself said - if i can't trust her what can i trust her with.

[Anonymous]

Pff you're deep in the friendzone, cut your losses.

[Asker]

Friendzone isn't impossible to get out of haha. She related an incident with a friend of hers who had a guy woo her unsuccessfully for 5 years but eventually got together, and she tot it was pretty romantic and sweet.

Anyway I don't think it's a friendzone because the relationship had always been moving forward, even if it's not in the dating phase yet.