Downgraded to fwb?

Long story short met this guy in November. I like him a lot but we both played a lot if games with (won't go into details) each other, which I started unfortunately. He said he thought it could be more between us. Last weekend saw him while I was out I completely ignored him and talked to other guys while he was there because we agreed not to get jealous. He gets incredibly angry and wants to knock the other guy out, I said but "we're not exclusive like you said remember?" He said I thought we were working towards being exclusive and kept begging me to come home with him, but I said no and went home. He called me 4 times, texted me which I all ignored, he asked for me to come over I said no. I didn't hear from all week after that the then tells me we should stop hanging out because he doesn't want to hurt me, this won't ever be more and that we could be just friends with benefits because he's going to continue to see other girls. I am so in shock right now and just hurt and confused. What happened? Is there a way to fix this?

Side note, he NEVER admits to his feelings, even when he wanted to knock out the guy at the bar he still wouldn't admit that he was jealous/didn't like me talking to other guys. He always asks me about my ex and other guys who I am texting but just says he's asking not because he cares but because he's "curious" which I know isn't true.

Did I just severely hurt his ego or what? What happened? How do I fix this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys are like that, even with friends with benefits . They want total possession and to still see how much extra they can get. If you're trying to get him to fall for you, this is insanity. Jealousy just makes him tell himself you're a slut. However, devotion doesn't help either... He then enjoys the power of manipulating your loyalty.

    Hence the no-win situation of friends with benefits with someone you have feelings for. If he wants an uncommitted relationship, he'll justify it to himself and nothing you can do will change that. If you think he wants more and you do, lay it on the line and talk. You'll get your answer. The games just kill time and create drama.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • IMHO you messed up when you started ignoring him after you went back home. And he ended up going to that conclusion that you two won't ever be more because of what did happen. Also did you try to talk to him at all during that week he didn't contact you?

    • I did but he ignored me at first, then said he wasn't mad about that night then proceeded to say he didn't want to hurt me. Did I just really hurt his ego? Can I fix it?

    • You can try to fix it. If you're going try... you do it in person, 1-on-1; no texting, internet chatting, or calling for this talk.

What Girls Said 2

  • I am not sure there is a way to 'fix' this. The games that were played in the beginning, well, like you said it was unfortunate.

    Ignoring him was not beneficial, perhaps, its now time to sit down and have a conversation where the two of you can be totally opne and honest.

  • You can't fix this. He was obviously jealous, you totally ignored him. He even stated that he thought you two were working to be exclusive. It's like there was a small bush fire, but your actions were like throwing gasoline on it. He probably thinks you went home and fucked one of the guys from the bar.