I was talking with this guy about like some of my problems (self harming and anorexia) and some of the trouble I get into and some of the crappy stuff that has happened to me and all that and he was like "it's okay Im actually really attracted to damaged and broken girls" and then went through a list of girls hed dated that were a LOT like me
why is this a turn on for some guys? He's not the first to say it. What is it that makes you attracted to someone damaged?
Most Helpful Guy
This makes me mad @slowdyingflower. Why do any of the things you deal with or ANY of this make you "damaged" or "broken"? It pisses me off when people see our struggles and think of them as weaknesses. You are strong and courageous and amazing and the hell with anyone who tries to make you feel or think otherwise.1
Most Helpful Girl
I wondered this same thing until a guy friend of mine helped explain why he thought I wasn't able to date. Me: attractive, smart, funny, independent, responsible... why were men passing me over for someone with problems? It turned out that he believed men like "projects". Just like fixing cars, fixing gadgets, or whatever, they enjoy fixing things and if he can complete something and get a favourable result, the more accomplished he felt. The same applied with women. If a woman is already "fixed" and doesn't seem to need him, he has no use in trying. Note* not ALL men do this. The white-knight complexed ones seem to be the worst.
I am still amused many years later when a guy broke up with me after a few months of complaining about his problematic exgirlfriends and how much grief he went through with them, only to tell me on the night of our kiss-off, "I sorta need to find a girl with... problems." (Go get'em, tiger.)
If there are guys out there who feel like they need to be needed in this way, instead of looking at a potentially fulfilling partner who can add to their life in a healthy, positive way, then it shows a bit of insecurity on his part needing to feel validated as a partner to protect and fix their girl. Insecurity attracts insecurity I guess.0