Why doesn't he want to be alone with me?

[Anonymous]

There's this guy who's just a friend. I recently just suggested for me and him to hang out and he came up with a excuse that he didn't like bowling when I remember he went bowling with his family and his cousin told me he likes bowling. He also said to ask his cousin if there's any party's,so we could all hang out together. I met him through his cousin, but I felt that me and him have become friends as well, so it would be OK for us to hang out without his cousin. It seems like he does have a problem being alone with me for some reason even though I've known him for a year.

Updates

+1 y

The problem escalated and now it seems unsolvable. He just blew up at me when asking about y he didn't want 2 hang out with me alone. I didn't see that coming. It seems it will b best if I just left him alone because he's just impossible to deal with.

[gakewa]

There are lots of things that it could be.

1 - He thinks you like him romantically but doesn't feel the same, so he avoids any opportunity you might have to tell him, or to make a move on him.

2 - He likes you but doesn't think you see him as anything other than a friend. He keeps your together time public so he can't fall any deeper and doesn't have the chance to let you know hoe he feels.

3 - He thinks that you both like each other, but is concerned with what might happen. It could ruin a friendship he values or leave one or both of you open to getting hurt.

4 - He doesn't like hanging around with you, but he's too polite to tell you, so he keeps all of your time together open so he (and you) can mix with others.

I say just ask him straight out. Most men don't like playing games and prefer things to be upfront and honest. See what he's got to say about the situation.

[Asker]

Actually he's not looking for a girlfriend, so I'm not even trying to get him to go that way, which I told him already. In a group he doesn't seem to have a problem hanging out with me and always says hi with a big hug. But. yeah I think I will ask and see if he does answer truthfully because not all men are honest. Instead they sometimes make excuses or avoid the question completely.

[gakewa]

Update = Ok, I didn't see that as a possible outcome. He obviously didn't think you'd noticed that he was avoiding spending time with you alone and is embarrassed about being called out on his strange behaviour.

I'm sorry my advice wasn't helpful, but I believe that honesty is always for the best, so I'd pretty much always say you should talk to the other person about the problem.

[Asker]

Maybe it did bug him that I noticed, but still Ithink he overreacted. He just put down everything about me and there was name calling. For a guy whos 28, he sure doesn't know how to deal with situations right and needs to mature a bit more.Yeah that's what I think that people should be honest, but there's just some people who will be difficult and lash out on you even though you are trying to only to get to the truth. Thanks for trying to help. He's just a tough case to solve.