Is a 19yr old and 29yr old age gap too much?

[Anonymous]

So, I'm 29 and I like a 19 year old. This is very much out of the blue for me as I really didn't think I'd ever want to date anyone college age again. She does act much older than her age, but I know there are just a lot of things she hasn't experienced yet. And before everyone jumps to the conclusion that this is just some sort of sexual ego boost for me, it's not. She is very feminine and that is really appealing to me.

I know that in situations like these the guy is usually immature for his age. That is not my situation. I make six figures, am currently in charge of 160 people, and am also about to start my own business on the side. If anything, I act older than I am. In this situation, that is a big concern for me.

My inclination is to go for it, and just take it really, really slow. What do you guys/gals think? Anyone who has any experience with a similar situation would be great. The biggest gap I've dated down was 7 years, and that didn't go so hot, but she was a VERY different person than this girl.

[Kehaar]

If you really like her and she likes you back, then why not? Being younger doesn't mean being from a complitely different world.
Well, my age gap is 22 years. And he's the only person in the world who understands me and accept the way I am, he's my only friend. So I don't see problems with any age gaps. It's just a number that doesn't say that much about a person. You can be fully mature and responsible at 18 and very childish at 50. Everything depends on a person. So if you really like that girl, I'd say go for it and don't listen to what others are saying. It's your life after all.

[Asker]

Thanks for the insight.

[Kehaar]

No problems.

[far2gud4u]

Do you know if she is interested?

She has a massively different life to you and her responsibilities are closer to being childlike than adult like... I dont think its a good idea to waste your time with this girl as in the end i doubt anything will come of it

[Asker]

Yep, she's interested.

Your second paragraph is exactly what concerns me. I don't walk into my dating relationships worrying about what will come of them. If it builds up to a great relationship, awesome. If it does not, that's fine too. My concern here is that no matter how mature she is, she will just be in a different place than me. I don't have all of these grand ideas that it will just be a perfect scenario, and it may very well not work out.

I just wonder if I'll regret not trying.

[far2gud4u]

well try it and no harm will come of it, just dont make life plans for you and her for a while.

I remember when I was 19 all i ever wanted was to find a guy and settle down. Then all of a sudden I get to 23 and I realise finding the right guy is more important. I then panic at 25 that I am settling with the wrong man and change my whole life again at 28. I think these days, a person needs the whole of their 20's to find themselves and I am guessing you can relate to this too? You sound very mature...

[Asker]

I can relate in some ways. I've come to realize that the "perfect person" is an illusion. A good relationship is give and take. You have to understand what you're willing to give or overlook in order to get the things out of a relationship that you want.

Further, I would say that we could go our whole lives and never stop changing. We might need our 30's, 40's and 50's to find the right partner as well. It's all relative. I will definitely say that I'm a much different person than I was at 20 and I'm sure that I'll be a much different person at 40. Such is life, and honestly, that's what makes it fun.

[far2gud4u]

its nice you have your head screwed on :)

[ialmostdo]

There's a chance it could work out, but you should really get to know her first, because I doubt you already know everything about her. Maybe she's not as mature as you originally thought. Like you said: Take it slow

[RedThread]

I think it's legal but it's too much.. I don't know how you can connect and be at a similar stage in life as a teenager.

[AngryHorny]

If she doesn't think you're too old who am I to judge?

[Anonymous]

Not at all. I actually dated a 20 y. o. girl when I was 29 and it was a really good match.

[jacquesvol]

in my opinion it's too much but legal.

[Anonymous]

It's perfectly legal.

[Anonymous]

too much IMHO

[Anonymous]

Yes what the hell