Is it better to be trusting and naive, or cautious and doubtful in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Basically what the question says.

Trusting and naive

Cautious and doubtful

[Anonymous]

Trust is the foundation for every relationship and friendship. Trust needs to be earned, not given away freely. It takes time to build trust in anyone. It would be naive to give your trust to a person who has not given you any reason to put your faith in them. If not, you would be setting yourself up to be manipulated and played.

I don't believe a person should enter into a relationship full of doubt either , by believing they are going to be hurt, or believe the person will cheat on them or leave them. Trust comes gradually and naturally as you get to know someone. You can't start a relationship wondering and worrying it is not going to work... especially when the person has not given a reason for you to think that

So personally , i believe you have to give a certain amount of trust unless they give you a reason not to trust them, but not to be naive as to trust wholeheartedly before you get to know them more.

I also believe that once you do give a person your trust you have to love like you'll never be hurt.

[unkissme]

A mix of all of those things is probably what's best. But my belief is trusting and naive might be the most real way to be in a relationship. You give your all. You hand over the trust. You let yourself really fall in love... that's when you open yourself up to the worst vulnerability there is especially if things don't work out in the end... you end up crushed to pieces. But still I feel that's the better option - to really feel - all of it - so deeply. Better to be crushed to bits from a real loving relationship than to go through one half-heartedly, expecting the worst, always looking over your shoulder, not even allowing yourself to open up and let yourself feel real love because you're doubting how real it may or may not be.

[becca123]

Well trusting doesn't always mean naive. Going into a relationship expecting the worst is bad mojo. Trust that each person is different, but keep your eyes open for patterns you recognize from the past.

[bryon]

Trusting and naive has both good and bad points. One enters a relationship with an expectation of being treated well by the other person and sometimes that just isn't the case at all. But cautious and doubtful will steal the joy of any relationship. If you feel the need to be cautious to begin with them it's prolly not where you need to be. Move on down the line

[AlphaMale1]

You have to have mutual trust and respect to be in a healthy and satisfying relationship. Because we are humans it is also a good idea to keep an open mind on what he/she is doing.

This is what I do especially early in a new relationship. Listen to what she says. Then watch what she does. You can learn a lot about people, not just lovers, by doing this.

[Octavius]

If I have to pick one it's trusting and naive. If someone is going to be doubtful they shouldn't even bother with dating. Yeah you'll most likely get hurt a bunch of times being trusting and naive but if you aren't a wimp and can survive that until you find someone that's perfect for you then you can have a better relationship than someone is is doubtful ever will. It's high risk high reward.

[chrisbigman]

I hate to say it, but it's better to be cautious and doubtful - at least for the women. Only because guys tend to be more devious than women. That's not to say women can't be devious. It just means men are more devious than women. Both men and women should be cautious either way. NEVER be naive, no matter what.

[Outofthegrey]

In a relationship: Trusting.

In the world: Distrusting, pessimistic, and completely doubtful of people being capable of anything besides self serving deeds.

Your SO is supposed to be the one person you can trust, not just another enemy.

[Anonymous]

Little bit of both...

In past I'd have said be trusting but it isn't enough. One day series of things made me realise this.

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[Sara413]

I don't think that being trusting has to mean being naive. I go into my relationships assuming the best, but not being blind to red flags.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

It's better to be Cautious and doubtful in relationship.,
if your all trusting and naive a girl can may become
care-free it's better to be careful than to be sorry.

[genericname85]

in my opinion doubt does nothing positive for you.
if the shit hits the fan, you will be sad anyway but if you don´t trust a person, you can ruin it prematurely.

don´t be blind and ignorant though, this is a different story.

[Ensiferum]

why not both?

Dont go in a relationship too fast with a guy.

Make sure you know him first, then trust him fully after

[S0ph5t3R]

I'd say a mix of both: trusting and cautious.
If you feel that something's getting fishy, talk about it and figure things out.

[KittyBox]

It's really a bit of both, trust your partner, but also have a plan b by paying attention to what he or she is saying, your best source of ammunition is by their own words.

[Blackjack_]

Trust is importent but never blindly trust anyone but yourself.

[YoureAllAwful]

I'd rather live and risk being hurt than be cautious and miss out on living.

[longjohndan]

Well, since you have associated trust with being naïve i'd think you have already made your choice.

[Bluest_Sky]

Trusting and little bit Cautious. so you are not dumb enough to be lied/cheated to.

[indie_rock_chick]

Why do you have to be one or the other? I say trust the person you're with but not blindly.

[Intraluminal]

The one smart thing Reagan ever said, "Trust but verify."

[GreatnessPersonified]

Neither,
trusting and cautious.
always look to if their actions match up with their words.

[Anonymous]

cautious just at the beginning, 'is he really it'
then trust

I got cheated on so... Perhaps I've become more cautious

[Anonymous]

I would much rather be trusting. It's better then being jaded

[Anonymous]

If you have to ask, then you shouldn't be in a relationship.