How do I deal with a stoic guy?

[Anonymous]

He's really indifferent. A stoic knows how to control their emotions and can feel pain without showing it. He thinks it's pointless to dwell on negatives which makes me feel he doesn't care when I'm upset. Sometimes I know he likes me, and wants to be around me but sometimes he's so closed off I feel like he's not into me. We aren't in a relationship but have been dating & hanging out for 2 months. I'm ready to take it further but I can't read his emotions. How do I find out how he feels? Or if he wants to be in a relationship?

[nativepride73]

You got to be direct generally. I'm a pretty stoic person myself and I generally prefer when people are direct with me about their feelings. Just ask him how he feels about being in relationships, then you'll know how he feels. Its better to know then to wonder.

[Asker]

Thanks I think that's what I have to do. I'm just nervous lol

[nativepride73]

Yeah that's understandable. A good sign would be if he is able to start opening up to you more. For me, I only open up to people I trust. If he isn't opening up to you, that's not bad, it just means your not at the level of a relationship yet, he may like you still, but haven't gone that far. If you can get him to open up then your on a great track. I mean, don't push and force him to open up because that's not good, but even stoic people who seem to have no emotion still have them and still want help too. We just tend not to be as open with it as others and like to deal with it ourselves.

[Asker]

Ok thank you! I'm gonna take that into consideration

[GymBumGuy]

wow that kinda sounds like me but not sure how to answer your question he is the way he is for a reason

[Asker]

I understand, it just gets frustrating sometimes

[GymBumGuy]

some people are just like that maybe one day when you get really close he might crack but don't count on it

[MysteriousFlower]

I think you need to be verbal with him. He may have had it rough in his life, generally there is a good reason why people would be stoic. The fact he is hanging out with you must suggest he feels comfortable around you.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I would find a more open guy to be in a relationship with. He's not gonna give you what you need and he won't get any better

[mattl338]

Since most people don't understand stoicism, I'll give you this: not showing emotion and not feeling emotion are two very different things and stoics don't show emotion 98% of the time.

[BluntlyHonest]

get him drunk , most people i know will be totally open their heart when they are drunk , especially tequilla

[Asker]

He doesn't drink, but we smoke trees together

[BluntlyHonest]

weeds have the opposite site of alcohol ,"general speaking" , it tend to make people less talking/more quiet

[Asker]

True... But the first time we made out we were both high. Before that, he'd only hug me so I wonder if it made him realize his feelings more? Who knows

[BluntlyHonest]

yeah weeds is working very well for making love lmao
but if you want him to be more vocal , i suggest both of you to reduce smoke weeds just a bit , for few days perhaps
before that he only hug you? it means he is too shy when he is not high enough

[Asker]

Oh no we don't smoke much. In the past couple months we only smoked twice. The second week of hanging out after we smoked he kissed me but we hook up regularly now, sober