Am I wrong if I feel uncomfortable with holding hands with my SO in public?

Question

It's a weird thing with me but I don't like holding hands with my girlfriend in public or around good friends. I'm not affectionately shy in private and we have a good sex life and are very affectionate behind closed doors. just once in public I feel weird holding hands. I'll kiss her bye or give her a hug but she is bothered that i dont like holding hands.

godfatherfan · Accepted Answer

It is not "wrong", but that doesn't mean it isn't a problem. I am someone that really wants a lot of PDA. So I want hand holding, hugs, kisses, etc in public. I want a woman that wants me so much she really just doesn't give a shit who knows it. Unfortunately, if you end up with someone that is not that way, that causes an issue. Now it depends on how big an issue it is for someone, and how many other "issues" there are. If this is a tiny issue, but you have many tiny issues, that can kill a relationship. There are always give and takes in a relationship. Maybe your SO accepts this because you have given into something that is equal or more important to her someplace else. But it is something you need to be aware of and it is something you should talk about and understand just how big an issue it is for her.

TheBootyChest · Accepted Answer

You aren't wrong. But she isn't wrong either.

If you are not comfortable to do that in public that is your right. But think about what she wants and how she might feel not getting that attention. She be the kind of person that feels if your boyfriend holds her hand in public he is not ashamed of being seen with her and wants people to see that he has feelings for her.

Again not saying you are wrong. You may have your reasons for being that way but she has her reasons for wanting that. Talk to her and find out if there is an underline reason and tell her your reason...(parents never did it so you think it's taboo to do that in public... or whatever).

Talk about it and see if there is a compromise.

Nonik · Accepted Answer

I think that's not completely wrong.
I don't like to showing affection in public too.
If you really uncomfortable with it, maybe you can try to talk to your girlfriend about it.
Just give her understanding and explain things from your perspective.
Share your thoughts together and decide what best for you two.

Maybe you think it's not really important to make discussion about it.
But IT IS if you both feel uncomfortable about it especially when you're not in the same way.
Little things like this can piled up and become a time bomb for your relationship.
Girls are very sensitive and very detailed to expose something like this when you two had an argument, you know.

moistycakes · Accepted Answer

Nah you're not weird. Public affection isn't my thing either, but if she's bothered with it there's little things you can do like putting your hand on the small of her back for a second when you're walking or whatever to make her feel wanted. If it's because you feel like unmanly or weak when displaying affection in public I personally like it when a guy has the confidence and comfort to show affection, if anything I think it makes a guy more masculine and attractive. However if it's just not your thing (like me) there's no issue.

honeylavender · Accepted Answer

Asker, you'll be glad if you did improve from that like you told someone else because I'm sure you don't want to lose her so just confidently hold her hand and she won't have any reason to worry anymore, you'll see it in her face. :)

existing_not_living · Answer

You're not wrong, but you have to understand that a lot of girls do like holding hands in public. I know I do. I like holding hands in general. If my boyfriend (if I had one) didn't, it would definitely urk me a lot, but it doesn't mean at all that you're in the wrong. You are entitled to your feelings and if she likes you enough, then she should respect that.

BUT, don't give a crap what other people think. It's not like you're having sex in front of a bunch of people. You're just holding hands. If you guys have been dating for 6 months, then I think it's time that you open your mind up a little and try to give holding hands in public a go. Show her you're willing to work on it even though it's outside of your comfort zone.

Sara413 · Answer

I had an ex who didn't like holding hands in public either and it bothered me. It made me feel like he was embarrassed to show affection for me. I'm not one for major PDA, but holding hands is sweet and it's something that most couples do when they're walking together, so it makes you feel unwanted or like your partner isn't proud to be with you when they don't want to hold your hand.

MissNowhere · Answer

That is a bit ehhhh... I mean it's just hand holding, shouldn't be that big of a deal. But I guess there's different kinds of people in the world, whatever floats your goat. But I think you should try to figure out why you feel that way. Your girl may think that you're embarrassed that she's your girlfriend and that's why you don't wanna show it.

Anonymous · Answer

No you aren't wrong at all! You should do whatever feels comfortable to you.

I was dating a guy who liked to kiss passionately in public, but i didn't feel comfortable doing it in public. He kept pressuring me and manipulating me to do it. In the end i left him, because i thought why should it be me who has to do something i don't feel comfortable doing. He expected me to change my opinion on it, but yet he wouldn't.

Just because your SO or any other people feel comfortable holding hands in public , that doesn't mean to say you are wrong and they are right... because there is no right or wrong when it comes to situations such as this.

I am sure there's situations your SO would feel uncomfortable with too. When two people are in a relationship they are supposed to respect each others boundaries, and not expect them to go outside of their Comfort Zone if they really don't want to.

takumii · Answer

Dude, people on G@G are f**king stupid, don't listen to them who say, "It's not wrong, you have your thing" and they are the same people who would say after that girl breaks up with you because she was wanting for more, "Maybe you were not meant for each other." At the end of the day, you both would be breaking up for something as stupid as not holding hands in public.
Now, no one is meant for each other in total rationality. We have to compromise, that is the base for every relationship. If you cannot compromise, you cannot sustain a good relationship.

mooky06 · Answer

If I were her I would feel like my boyfriend isn't comfortable around me enough (in public) to be holding hands. It really isn't a big deal but it would be nice. I know I don't have to be always holding his hands though.

But maybe she thinks it makes you guys look more "coupley"

Aleaj101 · Answer

Guys who show their girlfriend off is a good thing, girls want to be showed off. My boyfriend doesn't like holding hands either, but we really do like being showed off. Sometimes it feels if we are just a hidden piece and we dont like too be hidden around people.

Pampered · Answer

It's not weird but girls take it personally, like you're either ashamed of them or you're being shady, like you want other girls to think you two aren't dating. My boyfriend doesn't like holding hands but he's just really private. He could be lying but I doubt it. He tells me the truth.

Possible_Mate · Answer

i dunno im the same way i feel really weird holding hand or being pda safely affectionate with my guy in public. in private we have no problem getting nice and cozy. i guess it's just a self conscience sort of thing. if you haven't already try explaining to her about how it makes you feel, so that she won't jump to any conclusions about your reasons.

DodgersGM · Answer

I think you care way too much about what other people think.

I also think you overestimate the degree to which other people would think about it. Seriously, nobody would care. It's normal to old your girlfriend's hand. :)

Anonymous · Answer

that is a dealbreaker for me. I love holding a guy's hand. it is comforting, i feel safe, i feel validated that he wants me, it makes me feel like we're a team, and its a turn on for me. if a guy denied me when i tried to hold his hand, i would never see or speak to him again. if you can't hold a woman's hand in public, you sure as hell shouldn't be putting your dick inside her.

sjoes006 · Answer

No it's okay it is just still new to you. When I was younger I was horrified at the idea of ever having to kiss my husband on our wedding day. Now that seems so silly.

slywinkle · Answer

Its probably not so much the hand holding itself, as it is her questioning why you don't like it. She probably thinks you're ashamed etc. All you can do is talk to her about it and reassure her.

Anonymous · Answer

not uncommon at all. i'm the same. a lot of my friends think it's strange or that i don't love my girlfriend or boyfriend enough but honestly, it makes me uncomfortable, it makes other people uncomfortable, and if you two are all good behind closed doors that's all that matters.

justbanANNAz · Answer

i think it's alright, because it comes from a nice place in you, but i can also understand why she is bothered it, because it isn't really classified as the most uncomfortable PDA u can do.

9mfeo · Answer

Whatever you're comfortable with is totally okay. I don't really like to hold hands either, because I find they get very sweaty. I much prefer to hang on to his elbow or something.

Rosie45 · Answer

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and but years and it's only recently we have started holding hands (not all the time) but most of the time. I used to feel awkward too

TheGuyFromMiddleEast · Answer

You are, and you should work it out. It's totally normal, noonne will think you're weird or somthing. Heck, they might think you're weird because you don't, because everyone else does it.

springocelot · Answer

that is unusual and if i were in the girl's position i'd think you're embarrassed by me

BaileyisDarcy · Answer

I don't like hand holding much either. It's constructing to me.  Can't deal with arm around my shoulders or waist either.

Darkfairie17 · Answer

Not really. Everyone is different and some people are just not comfortable showing affection in public.

PiuBelloAmante · Answer

i love holding hands

bryon · Answer

If my SO wouldn't hold my hand in public I would this she was embarrasses or ashamed of me

Melpaxton · Answer

Are you proud of her? Are you embarrassed of her? It might help to ask yourself those questions

BriBri15 · Answer

Your not necessarily wrong, but she wants to know your not ashamed of her. Or up to no good.

sherbearee · Answer

loool this was my exact same problem, minus the sex life aha I don't like holding hands

Jenaynay · Answer

Haha I am the same way, and thank god my boyfriend is the same way too. And I don't think it's weird, just our personal preferences.

RachelBrigs · Answer

Just explain that to her.  I would feel weird too.

Abigail1711 · Answer

I don't like doing any of those in public. I consider it as rude to public so I prefer home.  No one wants to know who is with who so why bother?

Phoenix98 · Answer

It's a bit odd but not wrong some people just aren't affectionate in public.

tyrantfuryre · Answer

No you're not wrong. I'm not the type of person to show affection easily so I get it.

Anonymous · Answer

No its not. I feel awkward doing the same too to my boyfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

You are just conservative or should I say old fashion?

Anonymous · Answer

It's okay if you don't feel comfortable holding hands in public. I'm not comfortable holding hands on public either because it makes me feel kinda like a child. You don't have anything to worry about, unless she asks you to, then hold it.

Conflustered · Answer

Sounds like you're embarrassed about something

bubble_tea · Answer

Why do you feel weird holding hands?

Zendrya · Answer

I'd be upset and probably would be a deal breaker

Southernman1 · Answer

No, you could just be shy in public that all.

TheDevilInside · Answer

You're not into PDA. And that's OK.

ConsultantIsBack · Answer

That is unusual in my opinion

Anonymous · Answer

No because, let's face it... its pretty gay

Anonymous · Answer

nope ur right. holding hands is gay

thatphucker · Answer

You are wrong.

Am I wrong if I feel uncomfortable with holding hands with my SO in public?

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