Why are the nice guys demonize by modern women today?

Question

These are observations of realize on gag:

1. Girls these days think the vast majority of men don't want to commit and only want to sleep around.

  

2. Girls and men think nice guy happens to be some sort of manipulative jerk who uses kindness to try and "sneakly" win a girls heart.

  

3. A lot of girls on this site in the dating section write questions either complaining about getting played by someone, love not being real, or some tendency of their asshole boyfriend.

I can't find it but I believe a girl asked a question on here asking what to do because she overheard her boyfriend telling his friends that she was so bad in bed that he was thinking of dumping her [He just took her virginity]

So really why are nice guys being the main culprit to woman's problems in the dating world?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This issue isn't so black & white and the answer sure as he'll isn't either.

They're are plenty of instances where a nice man & a nice woman meet, get together & become a nice couple and live a nice life.

It just hasn't happened to you. No offense, but people who think this way usually have a limited scope & don't think much of the world ouside of themselves, so they zero in and make it into something it's not by categorizing everyone in the world as either "nice, sweet, bitch & rich. They've also coined silly phrases like "nice guys finish last" and "friendzone". It's all very juvenile..

That being said, it doesn't mean there isn't an issue & some truth behind what you're trying to say.
Men and women are not the same. We don't think the same, feel the same & we don't communicate the same. That's how it's supposed to be & why we can usually compliment each other so well.
But on the other side of that there are many frustrations & misunderstandings.
Unfortunately there will always be that disconnect.

People are going to fall for who they fall for. Sometimes it's going to be the wrong person. Sometimes it's deep rooted, we've all heard of women with absent fathers choosing similar men & men with absent mothers resenting women. You can get real psychological about it...
But other times it's just chance.

You just haven't ran into her yet.
Instead of coming up with random, useless formula's for why that person didn't choose you, focus on yourself. Explore your own interest & hobbies & try to be more positive about life. That's usually how people find the person they deserve.

You won't find anything good by sulking or judging. You also won't find it by trying to be anything but yourself. Or try to play the "nice guy". There isn't really any such thing.
There are just people who do good things and bad things. You'll make yourself sick & bitter trying to be the perfect guy for a women who isn't perfect herself. That's how many people end up getting hurt.

Don't be afraid to show your flaws & weaknesses. If someone doesn't accept them, then why waste anymore time on them anyway.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

1. So many people think that they're nice when they aren't that nice. Most people, both male and female, have dated one of these passive aggressive, secretly entitled types.

2. So many people think simply doing what any decent person would do makes up for big flaws like being so shy they don't talk, overweight, a stick in the mud... they think being nice means they should be able to grab whoever they want (usually someone much better looking).

3. Most people aren't all nice or all jerk. One of my nicest friends led a girl on for sex when she was throwing herself at him. He is genuinely a great guy, but got caught up in the idea of getting laid. One of the most rugged, tatted up beardy guys I know is the best dad ever. My clean cut, dorky engineer ex boyfriend was emotionally abusive. My friend who has only slept with 4 guys has cheated on E J one with the next guy. Etc

apple24 · Accepted Answer

Whoa thats number 3 is harsh. I don't understand those guys. I have no time to understand them. on to the next point!

ChromAzonyx108 · Accepted Answer

I'm probably going to say a lot wrong, but I'll try to answer all of this.

1. Commitment is reciprocal - the girl also has to express her commitment. The problem is when two people are interested but afraid to express commitment for fear of scaring away the other - but it may be better to express commitment early on for two reasons: if the other is equally interested then they will also commit, and if the other is not equally interested then the relationship can end instead of dragging on and becoming worse.

2. I can see a few different scenarios:
-a nice guy could just be a manipulative jerk in disguise
-a nice guy could be just that - a nice guy, no tricks
-a nice guy could start out as a nice guy but become a jerk as time goes on
The third scenario could be the cause of this misconception. Some nice guys get into relationships, perhaps for the first time, and it goes to their head, turning them into jerks. Or a nice guy could be overlooked so often that he feels like he must become a jerk to get women's interest - both of which creates a positive feedback loop that reinforces this misconception and perhaps even causes it to be a real conception more often than not.

3. Guys complain too (this question... and my response... for example).

Why are nice guys being the main culprit to women's problems in the dating world? It could be that women refuse to take much/any responsibility for relationship problems, jerks may outright deny any responsibility, and nice guys may be humble enough to take responsibility for relationship problems thus making them scapegoats.

Rufus335 · Accepted Answer

cuz nice guys apparently dont respect women and treat them like they are dependent upon them. they think a girl will like him for buying her shit and taking care of her.

unfortunately when a women sees the nice guy she thinks this but in reality

most nice guys are trying to create the sexual attracting and peer to peer convo the girl is looking for but are less aggressive than the jerk about it.

I don't know something like that

Chief16 · Answer

Don't be a nice guy man. Be a gentleman. Being too nice is a problem.

Anonymous · Answer

Henpecked men have been looked down on, ALWAYS.

What's changed is that from about 1970 on in more liberal areas, more recently in more conservative ones, we are raising boys to be 'nice guys' with no backbone, who lack traditional strong masculine traits. Guys who are naturally jerks and assholes tend to have -some- of those traits innately (along with being assholes) and quickly learn that pretending to be nice guys doesn't work at all, and the more they're jerks the better they do.

We used to turn nice boys into nice -men- who were more appealing to average women. We do a shit job of that now. The problem was we demonized masculine but decent -men-, and decided intellectually that all boys should behave like well-behaved girls who happened to have a penis. We ignored the fact that men like that aren't respected much, and perhaps more significantly, that women don't find men like that attractive as sexual partners.

That's what's changed.

Anonymous · Answer

Because women want bad boys... Most men are nice and thus, not what women want.

So men are shamed for being nice. This is truly sick. Men are demonized no matter what. We are coerced into being gynocentric by feminazi western alpha males and women.

But nature is on our side... men are waking up to the reality of women

Anonymous · Answer

I saw a video that explains it very well. It has been a long time, but I think this is the right video.

Words_and_Wisdom · Answer

Women are told to be these 'princesses' entitled to everything, not having to work for what they want. Not having to hustle. Instead they wait around feeling entitled to the things they deserve, not holding themselves accountable for their own poor choices and thus putting blame on everything besides themselves.

serious · Answer

Yes, nice guys are the ones that always suffer whereas they should get the best woman, they should get what they deserve but unfortunately it never happens.

Ikl23 · Answer

on some level more aggressive or stubborn guys might seem like they would be able push another person to become better. i think they represents something more challenging, exciting, compelling than someone who is OK with everything tashat it is. they may also be more attractive on a survival level, but its not like being a complete asshole is going to get you a girl. girls/women are all different and may change with time but in general would want something fun, secure, and interesting.

TheBraveLion · Answer

A guy should love theirself first before loving someone else, true that... confidence that's all I can think of

Poppykate · Answer

I am so tired of dating guys. I think I need a break!. Otherwise I will turn to women!

Anonymous · Answer

because women are the scum of the Earth that is why, some sad feminazi that runs this site will remove this site but i shall repost on all questions and will set up another profile should the feminazis remove my account. Women need taking down a peg or two.

chriss · Answer

not true it depends on the girl. everyone is different with different personalities

Anonymous · Answer

It's because those pictures are labeled wrong. Jerk should read authentic and

Anonymous · Answer

Because women never admit when something is their fault. (Gone anon to avoid the hate from all the women) tsirhclauxes

MeLoveBogota · Answer

its simple you are average looking -> be a jerk you are good looking and/or rich -> be nice

chrisbigman · Answer

I have no idea. I think a better insight would come from the women themselves. Granted, you may need to take their opinions with a grain of salt.

KalElll · Answer

I think it's easy to blame some 1 else. . But you must realize that we choose our partners. . So we're are mostly to blame when things go bad. Cause we choses our partner.

notenough · Answer

I can break this down real simple but you probably won't believe me

Anonymous · Answer

Lot of girls also have never talked a guy in real life so that explains their bitterness, if you really believe anyone on this is for real you're doing it wrong. Girls irl are wayyy relaxed and happy

Muhammad1999 · Answer

So become a jerk

Why are the nice guys demonize by modern women today?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said