Will a guy take me seriously if I hooked up with his best friend a few months ago?

Trying to decide if this guy is taking me seriously. I'm a pretty serious, nice, and an attractive young woman, I've just had bad luck with guys. Most recently, I casually dated this guy for about a month, wasn't feeling him and he was feeling me TOO much (and the sex sucked)... Last month I asked his permission to express my interest in his best friend. He told me how much he respected me for asking permission yadda yadda and it kind of worked out. The friend and I went on a date, which I though was successful. But I didn't hear from him for over two weeks. So I asked the friend why that might be. He said he wasn't sure but that I should hit him up again. So I did, within a week we we hung out again. He's a really sweet guy but I may have messed up by sleeping with him (too much Jack)... But either way, I don't consider myself a slutty person. We now have plans to hang at my place while he cooks. Is there a chance that this guy will take me seriously? I'm not into casual dating and I will end it quick if I begin to get the vibe that he isn't looking for something serious with me. I'm a 22 year old law student and ain't nobody got time for that! Plus I'm a really sweet person. (P. S. over 3 years ago I also dated his frat brother, the first guy knows all about it and told me to keep it to myself. I'm not ashamed of it because any guy I've ever dated wanted a relationship with me, and I wasn't into them enough for that... But I certainly think I may be into their friend in that way... So I don't know what to do, end it in fear that he won't take me seriously because he thinks I'm a hoe/homie hopper or see where it goes and hope he'll take me seriously)


What Guys Said 1

  • How many sex partners have you had? If it's 5 or below; you're not a slut.


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, no.

    There's already the element of possible awkwardness because you have messed around with his friend. Even if his friend thinks it's okay, depending on how loyal he is, he will never be able to let himself give you a serious chance out of respect. Some guys won't care, but some guys are so loyal that they won't allow the attachment to happen within themselves. Some of those loyal guys will still see how they can benefit sexually from the situation especially if there's been a dry spell or they'll go on a few dates in the name of fun/having something to do, but deep down, they will never let it get past that.

    Then add in the other element of the fact that you guys had sex very early. Now, there are a lot of guys who don't care about that but for other guys, having sex to early makes them bored hence they ultimately lose interest. They like the whole idea of a conquest and having sex to soon makes it feel like they started the adventure and it lasted for all of half a mile then the unpredictable excitement was over. :/ Some guys (and girls) also will side-eye you hard if you act like a "homie hopper" who can't seem to stop hooking up with friends in a group and they'll legit wonder if you'll bounce to some other friend if things don't work out.

    I wouldn't say your chances are very high but I could always be wrong.

    • I think most of me completely agrees with you! I say I'll give it a month and a half and if I'm still questioning I will pull the cord because I think there is about a 80% chance that he is not taking me seriously and about a 5% chance that he likes me enough to not care that I messed with his friend and a 15% chance that he's thinking he likes me but will is still deciding to take me seriously (side note, his friend hinted that this guy told him before that he was into me). Thanks!

    • @Asker Sounds like a good plan but even if he was interested in you, his interest in you may not be enough to truly commit to risking a friendship. His friend may have said it was cool but there are a lot of people who say that, not fully meaning that and deep down the rejection stings. Each time they see the girl or guy they had something with laughing and looking like the happiest person with their friend, it eats at their pride. A lot of people will pretend to be cool with it for the sake of gaining cool points and not coming off as an asshole but they're not truly okay with it. So depending on if his friend senses that and how loyal he is, he may ditch you/not give you a full chance for the sake of valuing his friendship more than he values you.