Why does he find it attractive when I'm a bitch to him?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy at work around 3 months ago. He's not a colleague, he's just doing all the handy man work.

He's Australian and he said he moved over two years ago. He's a very attractive man but so out of my league. He doesn't really talk to many people at work besides me probably because I'm the only one who isn't all prim and proper.

He started making fun out of me and that's how we got talking. He's make fun of my accent and how I carried myself. So I started doing the same back to him which I think he found funny. I don't take myself as seriously as people think I do at work I just put a front on because people look down on me for being working class.

He has a man bun and I always tell him he needs to cut it off and that he looks like he's got a bin bag on his head. He actually found it hilarious and keeps pushing me to be mean to him because he thinks it's funny. He seems to think we have work banter but I've been really harsh towards him at times and he says nothing back to me, he just calls me a "little madam".

A few times now when he's came out with me and my work colleagues to the pub. he won't mix with anyone and will just sit with me. a lot of people assumed he was my boyfriend and that I got him the contract at my work but I quickly put that to rest. He's also tried to kiss me on a couple of occasions when we've been alone and he's had too much to drink which I usually just push him off and tell he needs to go home and then he apologises the next morning to me.

I'll be totally honest he's super hot and I would definitely hook up with him if he wasn't at my work but I'm just average looking woman and I feel like he really just likes me because he's lonely. He called me last night god knows how he got my number and I told me he was really sorry about his behaviour with me and that he knows it's Inappropriate but he can't help himself around me and that he would really like to take me out for dinner once he's finished the work he's doing.

Updates

1 y

I was totally lost for words and my heart was beating so fast as I'm no good with this stuff. I just told him I needed to think about it more.

If I'm totally honest i really want to have hot sex with him but I think he wants more than just that. I'm scared and Im just no good at this type of thing

[nitsuj86]

Well, it sounds like maybe you talk to him in a way that other women don't, which may interest him. The fact that he has tried to kiss you and you turn him down, but obviously want to, interests him even more. It's probably more the thrill of the chase.

To me it doesn't really sound like he wants something serious. You have just presented a fun challenge for him. I would expect him to move on a bit after you guys have sex, which we all know will happen eventually.

It could also be that you just have a personality that he finds very attractive, and might even think you are hot too. Guys can find a lot of different types of women attractive. If you are fun to be around, and not terrible to look at. That's girlfriend material right there. Super hot people are too much work usually, not good relationship material. in my opinion.

I think if her REALLY liked you, he would be pursuing you more formally though, not just when he's out drunk with you. IF he is thinking girlfriend he would make more of a classical effort... dinner, nice romantice dates, etc...

[Asker]

I don't know, he gives of this vibe with me that makes me feel uncomfortable at times. He'll start staring at me and won't say anything and he has gone down the more classic side of things now. He's asking to take me out for dinner. I think at first he didn't like me in a relationship way but now he's wanting more

[nitsuj86]

I would assume he just wants sex until he says otherwise. Here's the thing, after you have enough success with women, especially beautiful women, you know the things you need to do to get her interested in you. This guy is attractive, and he knows it. He also has probably had enough experience with women to know how to push some of their buttons.

He knows that if he does the "dark mysterious stare" at a girl who finds him very attractive, it will make her a bit uncomfortable, and somewhat turned on. It will make her interested in this man. It's one of his "moves". He may not even know he does it, just reinforced by how it works when he goes out with women.

And the thing is. He didn't start by trying to pursue you formally. He started with just trying to have sex with you, and when that didn't work (figures you are the type that won't sleep with him unless he takes you on a "date") he asked you out.

Unless he has directly told you, I really like you, I want to date you. Then I would see it as just sex. Another thing guys will do is be vague on purpose. If I don't ever ask you to be my girlfriend, or be exclusive with me, then he can still be free to do as he wants with other women. Then if you get mad, he can just say, I never said you were my girlfriend, etc... Most guys don't do this, but players do. It's an easy out, a legal loophole.

Not saying this guy doesn't like you. I'm just saying you need to pay attention and proceed with caution if you want to.

[spartan55]

Wow, when you say you are no good with that type of stuff you aren't lying. What is wrong with you? Man Bun likes you.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s def into you. Some guys are attracted to assertive girls. I think you should go out with him. Or at least you guys can hook up if you don’t want a boyfriend rn cause of your career.

[WhitneySnow]

I can tell by how fast your heart was beating that you really like him too. Maybe start with hot sex and see where it goes from there?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he likes bitchy women?