"Men fall in love in your absence, not your presence." Is there any truth to this?

[Anonymous]

Does this phrase hold any meaning? Do guys really fall in love in a girl's absence? Or is it just gibberish?

[ak666]

Makes some sense to me.

My strongest feelings for my wife tend to develop when I'm on business trips and miss her presence. It's one of my rituals to keep our relationship passionate after years of marriage.

That said, I fell in love in the bedroom for the two women I truly loved more than any other in my life.

Yet perhaps the strongest emotions of being without the girl and absolutely missing the girl were always when she wasn't there. After all, we can't miss something that's there.

[mpwilke]

That's teally nice. I guess if you didn't miss her, it wouldn't be love. Or there would've been a problem in your relationship.

[ak666]

@mpwilke There is a nice quote on this subject. A lot of my married friends wonder how we manage to stay cuddly and affectionate after all these years, and I think the business trips are a fundamental part.

"It is, indeed, a familiar observation that the happiest couples are those who are occasionally separated, and the fact has been embalmed in the trite maxim that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Perhaps not actually fonder, but at any rate more tolerant, more curious, more eager. Two difficulties, however, stand in the way of the widespread adoption of the remedy. One lies in its costliness: the average couple cannot afford a double establishment, even temporarily. The other lies in the fact that it inevitably arouses the envy and ill-nature of those who cannot adopt it, and so causes a gabbling of scandal." -- Out of Eden

[Anonymous]

I believe it's kinda true. I mean a guy falls in love in presence of a woman but only realises it after that woman goes away for a while. At least that happened with me. It was obvious to everyone except me. Once she went away I realised what I was feeling the whole time.

[Asker]

This is a good interpretation. This is basically what this phrase means I guess. Men do fall in love in the presence of a woman but will only realise it when they're separated from her for a while. It'll make them understand their feelings a whole lot better I guess.

[Opinion Owner]

It's true for every kind of love, not just romantic love. Parents, friends, everyone... once they are away you realise their importance in your life.

[Kirah]

This is false.

Many women have upvoted this comment, purely because it reinforces the idea that they can sit back and wait. It doesn't work like that.

[Opinion Owner]

@Kirah You thought that way, it's interesting. It clearly doesn't mean to 'sit back and wait'. Think think.

[mpwilke]

@Kirah yes I agree. We can't wait around for a guy. But I feel like it's kinda of a girl thing to do.. We want to still have hope after a guy breaks up with us. Guys break up because they don't want to see us anymore. It's over, and reading things like that give us false hope.

[ItsyourgirlLisa]

I think when you are into someone.. you most definetly want to spend as much time together as you can.. thats how i see it; you just know. there's men you like.. but there is men you really really like and when they are absent like for a whole day maybe hours u think about this person and it just confirms what you already feel, then again this is from my point of view. I guess by what im reading not everyone feels the same as me...
... Your girl Lisa

[Tink62893]

I believe so. My boyfriend didn't tell me he loved me until we were separated for two weeks and could see each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it lets you see how life it without that person. You also start to miss them... if you miss them you think about them, if you think about them and all their good qualities you start to develop feelings.

That's how I see it any way.

[Azara]

two weeks is not being apart. thats the amount of time people go between dates. doesn't count as absence.

[Confused2500]

@Azara Exactly right!

[Azara]

@Confused2500

:-)

[HookingSwan]

Two weeks is nothing darling

[Anonymous]

This explains a lot.

yeah I think it could be. I think it's more about not taking the other person for granted.

Sometimes we see someone all the time and get bored or annoyed of them pretty easily. But when we stop seeing that person we think... I miss them.

[mpwilke]

Sounds about right

[NovaLS]

Maybe for a while at least. I have spent over a year away from my girlfriend in the States and it was hard. At first I spent a lot of time looking at her pictures and really feeling awful but after almost a year away and still a few months to go I have learned to cope with it better. But I really have increased in y love towards her since I have been gone, I guess you learn really how much she means to you when you leave and if it is worth waiting for it to last or if its better to let go. Time makes you decide what to do.

[HookingSwan]

... I would have thought that so much time apart just makes u realise u dont die without them. U keep on living.

And i think my boyfriend may have forgotten about me already.

[NovaLS]

@HookingSwan I guess it just helps us figure it out haha whether they mean that much to us or not, I guess to me a year and a few months is okay to wait if I still feel the same for her. A perfect girl is hard to come by haha may as well stick with the closest you can find.

[HookingSwan]

yes u r right

just... he is not treating me well anymore.

... nd he keep on saying he loves/wants me

it's cruel honestly

[Keiran1995]

Of course same goes for women once me and some women would always stare and then I disappeared she started trying to approach me but failed and blushes. As I kept disappearing it started to show a lot more then I disappeared again and although I didn't see her I wanted to approach her but to late so I let her know by commenting on her facebook picture n her be found out , when she seen me the following day her be was mopey. And she turned to me when he wasn't looking with a big smile and stared right at me. Which to this day I still question what she ment by the long smile

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I think it means that you can't be all in his face all the time and that you should have some time apart. sometimes you need space or he'll get sick of you and take you for granted

[Asker]

Yeah something like that. You need some time apart to make him miss you.

[justbanANNAz]

i SERIOUSLY doubt that. i dont like those quotes that portray men to be void of emotion.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a dude, but I think this could be true in the sense that we don't really know what we got til it's gone sorta thing. We all seem to take others for granted sometimes, so I can see this being true in that aspect.
On the other hand tho, men need an emotional attachment to a woman to fall in love. So seeing her and spending time with her to gain that attachment is helpful.

[zombiebabe]

yea in the sense that your feelings for someone grows much more when the person is not around you...
that's how i see it anyways

[HookingSwan]

Yeah but only in healty doses of absence

If someone is always absent from ur life then all they become is far from ur heart.

Sucks

[zombiebabe]

@HookingSwan yea :(

[Anonymous]

My ex always told me he needed me next to him or he wouldn't be able to love me: "if I'm alone, I may like it and prefer to be that way".
We had a long distance relationship... He cheated and now is in another long distance relationship :P
I believe he had a LDR with his previous girlfriend too... :/

[HookingSwan]

😑 yeah indeed i feel forgotten already

[Opinion Owner]

@HookingSwan My lesson through our relationship was that he didn't want to make efforts for me but didn't want me to give him for granted.

[yucel_eden]

This is sort of correct. But not true.

The correct statement is:

"You realise how much someone means to you when you lose them"

AKA you realise how much you love them when they aren't around and you miss them.

[mpwilke]

I agree. I lost someone I truly loved, but maybe it was wrong. I feel like I'm in they ou realize how much someone means to you until you lose them stage

[AmongTheApples]

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[HookingSwan]

Pfff I blatantly disagree

Too much absence just makes people to have u absent from their heart. Why? Cause if they dont make an effort, they forget about u. Its inevitable.

[Azara]

no. its bullshit. no one falls in love in absence. fall;ling in love requires chemical reactions. being apart makes you miss a person but if you dont already feel for them the feelings just dissipate.

[Azara]

supposedly men produce oxytocin after intimacy sex or just affection for 24 hours after without a reboot. women for 72 hours. meaning women can stay attached for 3 days with no booster. but for him if you dont give another dose after 24 hours, he moves on lol. thats probably crap too.. All these reductionist truisms..,. its silly.

[cinderelli]

They might miss her and feel like they need her in their life more than anything but that doesn't mean they fall in love with her when she wasn't even around

[lyannamormont]

Out of sight out of mind dear, unless you are married, or deeply deeply in love with that woman.

[HookingSwan]

Yeah indeed

I think that may be just the case

[Anonymous]

I can't speak for all men but it I'm to fall in love with a girl I will have to be near them to get to know them and once I know I like them then I will think of them when I'm not near them.

[This_is_my_username]

its bullshit. What are you suppose to do in the meantime? have a relationship with the ghost of their presence? LOL

[HookingSwan]

Yeah

It fucking sucks

[This_is_my_username]

@HookingSwan tell me bout it girl.

[HookingSwan]

Dont tell me u r/were in the same situation?

Long distance turned sour...

[This_is_my_username]

@HookingSwan I know the feeling chicka!! Don't ever do LDR.

[HookingSwan]

I am in one

He almost doesn't have time for me now

He has extenuating circumstances, sure. But sometimes all can't be excused.

I feel like i no longer take part in his life, which isn't far off from reality.

[MsWorthy]

@HookingSwan i think im experiencing the ssme thing and it sucks

[This_is_my_username]

@HookingSwan That sucks! you deserve better though! it's just good to date within your range. LDR just doesn't work in the end :)

ohhh look at da downvotes!!

[AhGojira]

Maybe for some guys but it's the opposite for me. I need that quality time.

[John_Doesnt]

That sounds like something a woman would say. Not true for guys though.

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, I fall in love with the other girl...
-_-

[This_is_my_username]

savage!!!

[lonelyoldboy]

It's the exact opposite. The more time I spend with a woman, the stronger my feelings for her.

[Anonymous]

I don't think so. It's only true if the love is already there

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. We fall in love with the idea of being in love---an ideal. And then we project its qualities onto you.

[MrAtticusLebowski]

lol... no, that makes zero sense.

[Rahdle]

This is blasphemy! 😱

[Girly1710]

I don't think that's what happened to me.

[karahiri]

seems like a load of crap to me lol.

[Anonymous]

Presence, not absence.

[Abe90]

Gibberish

[takumii]

No truth.

[Nerdvana]

Just poppycock.

[Rocks_and_Lumber]

this is correct