Is it a bad thing if he never initiates hanging out?

[Anonymous]

we've only been seeing each other for a couple weeks but I'm always the one that initiates us hanging out or going on dates. He always says yes and tells me about Times or dates he almost texted me about but he never initiates. He does text me randomly almost every day at least once. Is this normal? Is he shy? How do I get him to initiate?

[CrazyAK]

It really depends on so many factors. Are you the more dominant person in the relationship, cuz maybe he feels you are more entitled to suggest places to go. He also might be nervous when he initiated a place to go out to cuz maybe he cares a lot about ur opinion or ur expectations. Its hard to tell. Is he familiar with the area where u guys live, has he lived there for a while to know the best places to eat or party etc?

[Asker]

Yeah we were actually family friends before and I'm older than him. He has lived here for awhile like me but is more of a homebody

[CrazyAK]

Ah, maybe the age makes him feel like you are a bit more experienced and confident about initiating an eat out or whatever. The best way to test him is asking him whether he has anything in mind, ask his opinion instead of organising a rendezvous.

[Anonymous]

He does agree to dates, but is he invested in those dates? If so, then he's just nervous.
Keep interacting with him, try to get him comfortable with you and time will ease things for him.

[Asker]

Yes. We always have fun and end up talking for hours and cuddling even. So I should keep doing things as I am?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not clear on the cause of his nervousness but it could be, a lack of experience which can drives his nervousness because he hasn't went out with plenty of girls in his life so YOU jumping into his life suddenly and successfully causes him to get nervous. Look at his history, if that's the case, then in time he'll get more comfortable with you. However it may not be that he doesn't WANT to ask you out, he's just waiting for you to ask him out and the reason could be that since you're doing all of it why should he? Or he's simply more comfortable with you asking him since you don't seem to objectify it and he doesn't see a problem with it. Take some time (more than usual) and don't ask him out. Just continue casually but don't ask him out. If you feel like he's giving hints that he wants you to ask him out, then he's just comfortable with it that way because he's maybe giving you the lead.

[Asker]

He's been in a serious relationship before but I am older than him so maybe that's it? He will initiate by hinting at hanging out but then I have to make it happen

[Opinion Owner]

Okay so we role that out. Yes, then it does seem that he's giving you the lead here. If you're happy with this position, cool. If not talk to him about it so you two will learn to face insignificant problems early on in the relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

Although I wouldn't call it a problem.

[Anonymous]

Probably

[serious]

Well, it's possible that he is shy and he also seems to be a passive and a submissive kind of person who is completely fine with you taking charge.

Yes, texting you randomly and once a day is normal.

[Anonymous]

Become unavailable. You're coming off as clingy. Good things come to those who wait and are hard to get

[Asker]

So I should back off and just see if he asks me out?

[Opinion Owner]

If he doesn't, he was never actually interested