How do you regain your strength back after being rejected/blocked by someone you have feelings for?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, a guy initially showed interest in me, said he wanted to get to know me, and we texted back and forth for a while. He eventually began to lose interest in me since he took days to respond back to me. I noticed this and asked him if he was interested in me as in considering being in a relationship with me and he later replied saying that he was "too busy" to get to know me. I eventually asked him if he still wanted to be friends and he said "of course". I even asked him if I could add him on Facebook and he did. He texted me back on forth on that very same day he added me. 24 hours later, I check my Facebook page and noticed that he deleted me and blocked my number.
I am so depressed right now because I feel as if I did everything right and every time I meet someone I like, I always end up getting hurt one way or another. I keep wondering why he changed his mind so quickly about me. I don't even have the desire to live right now. How can I regain my strength and ego back?

[Anonymous]

This happened to me, well the circumstances are different. However, my best advice would be for you to distract yourself/ take time to move on. Don't let the actions of some idiot get you down. It was his loss, and not yours. Remember your worth, and that there are many guys out there who would not do you like he has. Life is too short to sit, sulk, and suffer over something that probably wasn't meant for you anyway. Don't even allow yourself to question your desire to live either. I know how you feel, and I've been there. You have so much to live for. One day you will find someone, and you won't even remember this guy. Your heart is broken right now, but things Will get better, and life goes on.

[Asker]

I just wish I knew where I went wrong. Or what is it about me that made him lose interest so quickly enough that he didn't even take the chance to get to know me and go out on that date he offered...

[Opinion Owner]

I understand, and I truly apologize that things didn't go well with this guy. However, the problem doesn't lie within you. You have to see that you did nothing wrong. You tried to do everything right. You did all that you possible could, and tried your best I'm sure. However, don't let a guy make you feel so low. I used to wonder also. Wonder why things went the way they did, especially when things at the time were seeming so right. It's taken time, but the best thing for you to do is to pick yourself up, and try to move on. It seems hard right now, but it will get better. It's been 6 months since I've went through this. I felt low, and I hated myself. I blamed myself for everything just like your doing. Accept that you are not at fault. Also some things in life we aren't meant to understand.

[lilytup]

I went for something similar, it hurts really bad and sometimes i feel that i sohould have seen it coming, over the way he behabed (like leaving me on seen for really long time). But i came to the conclusion that i give my best, i did everything whit love and not bad intentions, and that people in our lives come by for a reason and stay for as long as they should, no more. Dont linger to someone who is not whort of you, you have nothing to regret and is pobably for a better door opening in the future. Good luck, it takes time but you'll get there. :)

[CrystalPanda92]

First of all I'm really sorry this happened to you. I had it done to me twice back to back and the worst thing ever. I think it just takes time to get over something like this. I remember when it happened to me I still didn't feel right until the guy apologised... 6 months too late. You will be fine and you will get over this. Also, if he wanted to get to know you then nothing would be 'too busy' for him. You'll be okay :)

[RedVulcan]

First off, with you the guy was a player or some other form of low grade scum, there's nothing wrong with you if that's the whole story.

Well, young and inexperienced me has had to deal with two rejections. The second was boring and a last ditch attempt to date a girl I'd otherwise never see again. The first was terrible. It took a month to get over and I was doing it wrong the whole time, but the girl was an awesome person and supported me the whole time as a friend. I was thinking about and messaging her all day when in fact the best cure is to distract yourself, with other people or with something else.

[cth96190]

So you have been toyed with and rejected by someone whose behaviour appears to be irrational.
From a male perspective, welcome to our world. :-)
The most constructive suggestion that I can make is to not think of yourself as a special snowflake. Everyone is rejected in various ways in various contexts.
Take a teaspoon of cement and harden up. :-)
Move on and be thankful that you did not waste any more time on him.

[Asker]

I understand that guys get rejected all the time. However, I would never mess around with a guy's feelings.

[Kate_Xx]

Girl, you'll be fine in a while. The reason why he did it honestly doesn't matter. He rejected your friendship because he couldn't handle someone who is as giving and cool as you where you are interested him and want convo. He's probably used to shitty girls. Honestly F*** him. Another hotter, more interesting guy will be all over you.

[matheus_mb]

Well, it's not good to be rejected but life is that way. We just have to look forward and try again until things work for us, it's the only way. Maybe this will help you: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a28863-the-5-pros-of-rejection-tomorrow-s-a-new-day

[meatballs21]

This is how it goes. You need to accept that people are allowed to not like you, just as you are allowed to not like someone who shows and interest in you. It seems harsh, but it's better to reject them quickly as opposed to leading them on and building false hope.

[Asker]

He rejected me as a friend too even after we agreed to just be friends.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like an ass. It may hurt for the moment, but be glad you found out early. The right guy is out there, and you'll know when you're the center of his world.

[Asker]

I just wish I knew why he rejected my friendship as well... He didn't even take the chance to get to know me after he said he wanted to...

[Opinion Owner]

I hear you. Not knowing sucks and it's a blow to your ego/self esteem. But this guy is a serious dick. Try to look at it more rationally than emotionally. (I know it's hard.) Do you really need to know why an ass doesn't like you? I don't think so, because hopefully you don't want to end up with him or somebody like him. Hold out for a guy who treats you right! I guarantee he's out there!

[Asker]

I have tried so hard to look for the right guy. Every time I think I've found the one, I just end up getting hurt... I don't know what to do anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't try so hard. Be yourself. Keep your standards high. Be the friendliest version of yourself that you can be. That would be my advice to my much younger self, who dealt with much the same things that you are. It's not going to make it easier, but nothing that's worth the effort is ever easy.

I would add this for any young woman (not that this was part of your question, but I'm just saying): don't put out just for the sake of attracting someone. You're going to end up attracting the wrong type of guy and he will see it as temporary.

[Asker]

I just don't know how to be myself anymore since being myself was what pushed this guy away...

[Opinion Owner]

Yes you do. You're upset because you still think this is your responsibility. A lot of people have commented that it's about him, not you. The woman whose answer starts with "This happened to me..." And also RedVulcan and Kate-Xx. We are all saying the same thing. Stop worrying about one bad apple. Something scared him off. Maybe it was something about you. You wore something he didn't like? He was intimidated by your intelligence? You had a zit? Maybe it was something about him. He has a girlfriend and thought he shouldn't be pursuing you? His best friend liked you first? Who knows! It could be anything! Have a good cry and try to put it behind you. He isn't worth your time and energy. I promise!

[Opinion Owner]

The point remains that no matter what made him do this, and it could literally be anything, the fact that he handled it so immaturely makes him the asshole. You do not want to be with anyone who treats people this way.

[Asker]

He is also a well-respected, popular cop in our community who was in the Navy for many years. He is also a great father and was in a relationship with the same woman for many years. That's why I was shocked that he would handle it in such a way...

I can't get over the fact that it could be me because something similar to this happened to me before. Not as extreme, but close. People have lost interest in me so quickly...

[Asker]

That's what my mom said---That maybe he has a secret girlfriend. But he never had any pictures of her on his active Facebook page and yesterday I spoke to him and nothing seemed to be wrong... He also had an active dating profile that he took down a couple of days ago...

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, it sounds like there is definitely something up in his side. His life sounds complicated. Maybe he realized he's not ready to be seeing anyone, not you specifically. Taking down a dating profile seems to support that. He still handled it in a most inconsiderate way. Rule him out as someone who is worthy of you and move on.

[Asker]

He could have still kept me a friend since that was we agreed to. Everything seemed perfectly fine the day before and all of a sudden I'm deleted and blocked... Can you think of a reason for also not wanting to keep me as a friend?

[Opinion Owner]

Sure. Let's say he had more than one "iron in the fire". That is, more than one prospective partner. Or maybe it's the former girlfriend or the mother of his children (if they aren't the same person). So now, if he's decided to pursue that relationship, what's to be gained by you potentially threatening it? The safest (and also cowardly and inconsiderate) thing to do is to cut you off the way he did.

[Asker]

He's still active on tinder and "seeking a relationship", so I'm not too sure that it's because he has a girlfriend... He also has lots of female friends, so what could I have possibly threatened that other girls couldn't?
Is there any other reason?

[Opinion Owner]

Without knowing more about it, it's hard to say. All any of us can do is guess. I can't think of any other reasons. Is he actually active on tinder?

Whatever's up with him, don't let it define you. I'm so very sorry that you're hurting!

[Asker]

Yes, I just found out a couple of hours ago... Does that rule out the girlfriend possibility?

[Asker]

Could it be that he's trying to forget about me for whatever reason?

[Opinion Owner]

Did you fall too hard too fast? Sometimes that scares people off. You can send me a private message if you want to go into it in depth.

[Asker]

okay

[Asker]

I followed you

[Opinion Owner]

Crap. I have to be xper 2 to send a message. Can you send me one?

[Asker]

I can't message you. Can you try messaging me?

[Asker]

This is weird. I guess we can just talk on here then.

[Opinion Owner]

OK. So one possibility, as I started to say, is that maybe you came on too strong? Or he sensed you were falling for him? I hesitate to say this, because only you could know, but is it possible you had an aire of desperation surrounding your approach? That freaks people out sometimes. Guys do it to women, too… where you just are just so into the other person. If it's too soon and the other person barely knows you, the instinct is to back off.

[Asker]

To answer your previous question, yes, he knew I was interested in him. I had told him that I was interested in getting to know him after he had said that he thought I was good-looking and wanted to get to know me better (We discovered each other on tinder btw+he gave me his number right then and there without me asking). He even walked up to me to talk to me at work a few times. I did notice that sometimes he would take days to reply back and that was when I suspected that he was starting to lose interest even though he had suggested we hung out a couple of days before. Fast forward a few days later, I followed up on that date he suggested. We made plans to go out. However, I was stupid enough to ask him how he felt about me and if he was in fact interested in me as in considering a relationship with me.
He replied saying that he was definitely interested in me and wanted to get to know me better, but because of work, it was not going to be a possibility for him.

[Opinion Owner]

Didn't you say elsewhere that you work with him?

[Asker]

I then said "ok, that's all I need to know. Good luck" and he responded saying "same to you."
I decided to text him 3 days later and asked "Do you still want to be friends? I don't want this to create awkwardness between us and I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable with anything I said before." He said "of course we can. It was not awkward at all." A couple of hours later, he asked me for a "nice picture" for him to put into my contact info. And I did. I later asked him if I could add him on Facebook and he said yes and he added me. He initiated conversations with me on that day asking me how I was doing, what I was doing later, etc... He responded within seconds as well. I asked him if anything new was going on and he said "no, same same". I waited until the next day to ask him how he was and he said "good, how about you?" And I said "good".
That was the last time I ever heard from him until I checked my fb and discovered that he unfriended me and blocked my number...

[Asker]

We already knew each other from work but we started talking after we matched on tinder.

[Opinion Owner]

OK. Maybe he got some advice about dating at work. Or maybe from a superior. Some places just don't want employees dating. Too much drama. And if he is a single dad he can't afford to cause trouble at work like that. Could this be it?

[Asker]

I don;t work there anymore. This was a summer job. Even if that was the case, he could've have chose to remain friends with me which is why I'm confused why he did that after he said "of course we can be friends"

[Asker]

He's also older than me if that helps...

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm. I'm out of ideas. From what you described about your interactions, you sound like a well-adjusted person. I'm sorry! I wish you didn't have to deal with not knowing.

[Asker]

How can I find out? Is there a possibility that he could change his mind about me?

[Opinion Owner]

I suppose it's possible. But do you really want to go back to a guy who would do that to you? So he could do it again? Follow your head as well as your heart.

[Asker]

I just want to have the chance. How can I make it possible?

[Opinion Owner]

Based on what I know, I don't think it's a good idea. I think you'll be in for even more heartache if you try to interact with him again.

If you're going to do it anyway, and I'm guessing you will, give it a few more days. Then ask him an open ended question (not a leading question). Be cool. You're only asking for advice:

"Hey, I have trouble approaching guys sometimes and, no pressure, but is there anything I should do or avoid next time I talk to a guy? Please be honest and don't be afraid to rip off the bandage."

Just give him the idea that you just want to improve yourself and there's no pressure on him. Even if the premise of the question isn't 100% true. You're just after information.

[Asker]

He blocked my number and unfriended me though... I have no business asking for advice other than why he himself cut me off... I really wish he'd give me another chance and take the opportunity to get to know me... I've never wanted anything so badly in my life... This has destroyed me emotionally.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying you should find out, if you try.

I can tell you're hurting. But wishing won't do you any good. It's going to take time to heal. This happens to almost everyone. It's little consolation now, but some day you'll have forgotten him.

[Asker]

How can I find out without creeping him out? Could it be possible for him to change his mind about me and give me a chance? What would I need to do to attain that?

[Afrochick]

I recommend reading Evan Marc Katz articles and visiting his FB page.

There is no reason to feel sad over something you never had. He was a loser just wasting your time and was probably very bored and you were the temporary solution. Pick yourself up, and get your shit together -move on.

[Asker]

Why couldn't he just keep me as a friend though... Why did he have to block me and unfriend me off of Facebook? Everything seemed fine the day before he did this... In fact the day before, he initiated conversations with me on and didn't seem upset at all. I don't know what happened... I'm confused...

[NatashaJ]

He was just one guy and you barely know him. You wouldn't think about him if a other guy pops up so you need to accept it and move on.

[Pacificblue62]

Yeah there was a girl who did this to me a couple years ago. I'm still to this day blocked. And am unclear to some degree the reasoning as it seems extreme. Pretty much forgotten it and moved on but I don't think I can forgive her. Don't have any warm spots in my heart for these types of people.

[xDocilexFaeriex]

He got scared. He's a jerk VS a tease. I'm kinda scared of guys, and sometimes I flirt... but I get too afraid to actually meet them. I have problems though.

[cchris989]

You sound like every girl in the world :/

[Asker]

This was a guy I knew from work

[cchris989]

I'm just curious as too how long girls are gonna make excuses for themselves to not go after the things they want.

[BrittBratt2416]

Forget about him and try to move on.. he's was just playing around and lead you. There's probably another girl who came in the picture. The only thing you can do take it day by day..

[Asker]

Why couldn't he have kept me as a friend even if there was another girl in the picture?

[BrittBratt2416]

Because it would cause drama for him probably.. I'm not totally sure

[Asker]

he still has an active tinder page, so I'm not so sure that he may have a girlfriend after all...

[MaLifeBeLikeOooAaah]

I don't give a fuck if I'm rejected. Just move on that's life

[Asker]

It just killed my self-esteem. I wish I knew why he lost interest in me and didn't want to be friends with me anymore...

[MaLifeBeLikeOooAaah]

Look at it this way, his loss and choice not yours. Plenty of other guys out there. :)

[MaLifeBeLikeOooAaah]

Fuck self esteem, even recognising what it is, is dumb lol. Be yourself, you're YOU

[Asker]

Why do you think that he rejected my friendship as well? He blocked my number and deleted me off of fb. I could understand why he would want to reject me as a romantic partner, but can't understand why he would reject my friendship after saying that we could be friends...

[Anonymous]

yes, happened to me several times (except beeing deleted/blocked). I than just thought fuck you and concentrated on things not related to them or dating. That's also why I lost interest in dating except when I think she really means it and I stopped asking girls for a date and why I stopped trusting other people.

[rufurrealz]

do you have any pictures of you and other men touching each other? (hugs? )

things like that will make me lose interest in a woman too.

[Asker]

nope

[mouthofswords]

Nah you did everything right. Some people are weird like that. You don't get a warning or anything and BAM you're kicked out of their bubble of existence. You'll get over it ;)

[Asker]

I just wish I knew why he did it...

[zagor]

Did you ever meet him in person? Don't forget, online isn't real.

[Asker]

Yes. I met him at work.

[zagor]

You just have to put it behind you, and realize not all guys are like this. There are a lot of other men out there.

[Asker]

I'm just affected by the fact that I thought I did everything right, but he still somehow lost interest in me... Not only that, but he ended up rejecting me as a friend by blocking my number and Facebook. I can't help but think that others guys are probably going to lose interest in me in a blink of an eye.

[zagor]

Can't judge by one experience or else we would all be walking around glum and depressed.

[Asker]

why do you think he did it?

[zagor]

Don't know. Maybe it was a personal thing that really didn't have to do with you.

[Asker]

Like what?

[zagor]

Family or job issue. Or he met someone else.

[Asker]

He does have an active tinder profile, so I'm not sure it has to do with him having a girlfriend. Even then, he could have still kept me as a friend if that was the case... Can you give me an example of what type of family or job issue would trigger this?

[zagor]

Well, I don't know you, beyond what is in this post, let alone him, so I can't say if it's something about you he didn't like, or if he had something personal going on, or what. I just know there have been times when I felt like someone was snubbing me or acting differently, and it turned out it was something else.

A few years ago I was working on a project and I had to keep calling a women I worked with about questions on the details of the work. She, who had always been friendly and pleasant before, was abrupt and sounded pissed at me for calling. She finally just told me to email her. Well it turned out her elderly mother was having major health problems and every time the phone rang she feared bad news. So sometimes there is more going on than you know about.

Not saying that is the case here.

[Asker]

Could something personal be that bad enough that the first thing he does is block my number and unfriend me? Everything seemed fine the day before... I'm sorry, I'm just so confused. How can I find out why he did it and is it possible for him to change his mind about me?

[zagor]

I really think you should move on. Obsessions can be very destructive - believe me, I speak from experience.

[Asker]

How can I move on without closure? Is it possible?

[zagor]

Time will make it better. Best to busy yourself with something else for now.

[Anonymous]

This happens to guys constantly, we just try the next girl

[John_Doesnt]

Try going to the gym and improving yourself.

[AlwaysBelieving]

As funny as it sounds, watch kids movies.