You offered. He accepted. I really don't see the problem here? Also, think about it long-term. You aren't gonna go out for a meal when (if) you're married, and be like oh no it's okay, I'll pay. Like, better get used to both of you paying haha
you're being a girl... in a bad way. in my opinion bills should go back and forth anyway, it should never be the guy for every date. things are better when they're equal. Also stop with these "tests" if thats what it was, you're going to fuck things up if you do that.
I world be been disappointed if you'd paid the whole thing. Splitting the bill is very accepted nowadays I think.
To be perfectly honest would I be a teeny tiny bit bummed that on a first date we split it? Maybe but it's no deal breaker. Now if you'd offered to pay for both and he accepted that would really really suck (unless you were the one asking him out, then that's different).
I don't care about grammar damn it. I understand mistakes, trust me. But babe, you meant to say "would" instead of "world" right? It's not even a spelling error; it's totally a different word. I guess you didn't mean to. I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm just trying to help you. I'm not trolling you. 🙂
@mds6387 meant to say "would've". I'm college educated and consider grammar and spelling mistakes extremely annoying but calling me out on this lame typo of mine makes you a worse grammar/spelling nazi than myself.
Keep reading on this site. You'll see much, much worse than this.
And thank you for pointing out my mistake. I am not drunk, just old and human.
Well given it was an online date splitting costs is appropriate until you decide if you like each other enough for a relationship. If it goes more than 2 or 3 dates you might want to clarify what rules you should have between you etiquette wise. Including when to meet family.
He really should have politely declined your generous offer. I say generous, because he invited you. When guys take a girl out for a date, he should really try to leave a good first impression. His simple acceptance of your money caused him to fail. As evidenced by your question. This should be a cautionary tale to guy gaggers looking for advice on landing a girlfriend.
You sound like a dude permanently in the friend-zone. Being a doormat and overly willing to please won't get you a girlfriend, if i were the guy in this situation i'd cut my losses and find a girl with more sanity.
Sorry but you offered I would say what did you expect but you expected the exact opposite obviously.
Its like when someone tells you to keep something and you say no you should keep it you expect them to insist and you'll accept it but it's one of those cases when they accept instead.
you offered and he accepted most likely not wanting to offend you by being a typical traditional guy and to make you feel equal and not to preassure you into traditional ways If he offered you guys split and you didn't offer it taken into consideration that he asked you out, than that would be kinda douchy
If you didn't want to pay for the bill, then why did you offer in the first place? That seems a little weird to me. You shouldn't have offered if you didn't feel comfortable paying. You could have at most split the bill instead.
You're right the man should always pay. It's a sign of being a gentleman. I always offer but if he took money from me he wouldn't be getting a second date. I'm extremely traditional and so is my boyfriend he still doesn't let me pay for things he said it's embarrassing for him if where on a date and I take out money.
Dump him! Then run him over. But, seriously... never see him again. No amount of work (no matter what you think) will ever fix him - and, believe me, there are many more (and worse) sides to him. Run, Honey.
If you think traditionally, why did you ask to split then?
Do you have any idea how irritating this question is? You've met someone on the internet, you could just say that you'll pay for what you had there, instead of splitting and then you'd not feel weird about it.
Went on a 1st date, he accepted my offer to pay? LMFAO in my opinion it's suited not to offer something you're not willing to give.
Him talking you on your offer likely gave you the impression that he wasn't that interested in you to spend his money on you. No different to me than a guy fucking a gal on the first date and thinking she's not girlfriend material because she was 'easy'.
I agree It's a bit odd he didn't insist, although if u offer to pay, u shouldn't b that surprised if he says yes. maybe he feels strongly about how men always have to pay for the first date. I am also a bit traditional but I feel like this isn't a big deal at all. All in all, ur over thinking things, which I do all the time lol my b, but he probably hasn't thought twice about it and u shouldn't either. Good luck, hope things work out! -xoxo mandy
You are right, it isn't a big deal. So don't worry about it. Who cares if he agreed to it? Makes him seem more honest, if anything. There is nothing wrong with splitting the bill, even if he happened to order something more expensive. Irrelevant stuff really.
I think it is fair to split or at least pay your portion when it is a first meet and greet. A guy can't pay for all the one and done dates he might have. You don't know if there will be a 2nd date. If there is then he can pay and occasionally you can reciprocate if he is cool with that. He either accepted because maybe he was caught off guard or thought she might be a feminist and get pissed if I refuse.
You now know that not everyone will say no to an offer. (which is why I rarely offer food to some people) Next time, pay for your meal and he can splurge on what he likes. If I'm with my boyfriend and we aren't treating each other, I'll pay for my thing because he ALWAYS gets something more expensive. When we pay for what we got, he still gets to splurge and my wallet isn't upset. Best
I can understand the surprise, it's a bit hincky to have someone ask you out then not pay a dime. I'd feel the same, be it a date or just with friends or family. I'd see of he reciprocares the offer. It's only fair that if you picked up the last tab, he should get the next. If he doesn't offer to at least go dutch, leave him in the dust.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
166Opinion
33.media.tumblr.com/.../...m56MgP1sgl0ajo1_500.gif
You offered. He accepted. I really don't see the problem here?
Also, think about it long-term. You aren't gonna go out for a meal when (if) you're married, and be like oh no it's okay, I'll pay. Like, better get used to both of you paying haha
you're being a girl... in a bad way. in my opinion bills should go back and forth anyway, it should never be the guy for every date. things are better when they're equal. Also stop with these "tests" if thats what it was, you're going to fuck things up if you do that.
I world be been disappointed if you'd paid the whole thing. Splitting the bill is very accepted nowadays I think.
To be perfectly honest would I be a teeny tiny bit bummed that on a first date we split it? Maybe but it's no deal breaker. Now if you'd offered to pay for both and he accepted that would really really suck (unless you were the one asking him out, then that's different).
Go to school please.
@mds6387 been there, done that
Proof read your work. It doesn't take long. I'm wasted, and still proof read my work. Thank you.
@mds6387 what the hell are you talking about, enlighten me please. I didn't know this was a goddamn grammar test! Do tell... I'm anxiously waiting...
I don't care about grammar damn it. I understand mistakes, trust me. But babe, you meant to say "would" instead of "world" right? It's not even a spelling error; it's totally a different word. I guess you didn't mean to. I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm just trying to help you. I'm not trolling you. 🙂
@mds6387 meant to say "would've". I'm college educated and consider grammar and spelling mistakes extremely annoying but calling me out on this lame typo of mine makes you a worse grammar/spelling nazi than myself.
Keep reading on this site. You'll see much, much worse than this.
And thank you for pointing out my mistake. I am not drunk, just old and human.
You're not old. You're gorgeous.
Well given it was an online date splitting costs is appropriate until you decide if you like each other enough for a relationship. If it goes more than 2 or 3 dates you might want to clarify what rules you should have between you etiquette wise. Including when to meet family.
He really should have politely declined your generous offer. I say generous, because he invited you. When guys take a girl out for a date, he should really try to leave a good first impression. His simple acceptance of your money caused him to fail. As evidenced by your question. This should be a cautionary tale to guy gaggers looking for advice on landing a girlfriend.
You sound like a dude permanently in the friend-zone. Being a doormat and overly willing to please won't get you a girlfriend, if i were the guy in this situation i'd cut my losses and find a girl with more sanity.
@extremelybored on what planet does someone invite another person on a date and then have that guest pay? if anything, she should cut HER losses.
Sorry but you offered I would say what did you expect but you expected the exact opposite obviously.
Its like when someone tells you to keep something and you say no you should keep it you expect them to insist and you'll accept it but it's one of those cases when they accept instead.
Don't say something you don't mean.
you offered and he accepted most likely not wanting to offend you by being a typical traditional guy and to make you feel equal and not to preassure you into traditional ways
If he offered you guys split and you didn't offer it taken into consideration that he asked you out, than that would be kinda douchy
If you didn't want to pay for the bill, then why did you offer in the first place? That seems a little weird to me. You shouldn't have offered if you didn't feel comfortable paying. You could have at most split the bill instead.
You're right the man should always pay. It's a sign of being a gentleman. I always offer but if he took money from me he wouldn't be getting a second date. I'm extremely traditional and so is my boyfriend he still doesn't let me pay for things he said it's embarrassing for him if where on a date and I take out money.
Dump him! Then run him over. But, seriously... never see him again. No amount of work (no matter what you think) will ever fix him - and, believe me, there are many more (and worse) sides to him. Run, Honey.
what the fuck
@blabli lol
y'all grown ups right? You ate? he ate? perfect. Split bill right there
Exactly. Why must we make up dumb rules all the time?
@tyber1 that's what I say. Society dude. They make it up. And we all know society ain't smart sometimes
If you think traditionally, why did you ask to split then?
Do you have any idea how irritating this question is? You've met someone on the internet, you could just say that you'll pay for what you had there, instead of splitting and then you'd not feel weird about it.
Went on a 1st date, he accepted my offer to pay?
LMFAO in my opinion it's suited not to offer something you're not willing to give.
Him talking you on your offer likely gave you the impression that he wasn't that interested in you to spend his money on you. No different to me than a guy fucking a gal on the first date and thinking she's not girlfriend material because she was 'easy'.
I agree It's a bit odd he didn't insist, although if u offer to pay, u shouldn't b that surprised if he says yes. maybe he feels strongly about how men always have to pay for the first date. I am also a bit traditional but I feel like this isn't a big deal at all. All in all, ur over thinking things, which I do all the time lol my b, but he probably hasn't thought twice about it and u shouldn't either. Good luck, hope things work out!
-xoxo mandy
You are right, it isn't a big deal. So don't worry about it. Who cares if he agreed to it? Makes him seem more honest, if anything. There is nothing wrong with splitting the bill, even if he happened to order something more expensive. Irrelevant stuff really.
I think it is fair to split or at least pay your portion when it is a first meet and greet. A guy can't pay for all the one and done dates he might have. You don't know if there will be a 2nd date. If there is then he can pay and occasionally you can reciprocate if he is cool with that. He either accepted because maybe he was caught off guard or thought she might be a feminist and get pissed if I refuse.
You now know that not everyone will say no to an offer. (which is why I rarely offer food to some people) Next time, pay for your meal and he can splurge on what he likes. If I'm with my boyfriend and we aren't treating each other, I'll pay for my thing because he ALWAYS gets something more expensive. When we pay for what we got, he still gets to splurge and my wallet isn't upset.
Best
If you choose a best answer, people won't be able to submit an answer anymore. Sorry for all the hate, try to shrug it off.
I can understand the surprise, it's a bit hincky to have someone ask you out then not pay a dime. I'd feel the same, be it a date or just with friends or family. I'd see of he reciprocares the offer. It's only fair that if you picked up the last tab, he should get the next. If he doesn't offer to at least go dutch, leave him in the dust.
You're thinking too much into it young lady, will only result in things souring if you let it ferment :)
I'd take it for this time that he was just respecting what you wanted to do.
Nothing to this, just take it forward and see where it leads, good luck :)
Why would you be called an idiot? who is?
4 private opinion(s)Only the asker and the opinion owner can see it. Learn more