He stopped texting after first date saying I'm too quiet. What should I do?

I have been texting this guy for a month, everyday from morning to midnight, he even said he has feeling for me even tho we haven't met yet. We went out on our first date but it didn't go very well. Im kinda good-looking, many people say that, so my look isn't the problem here. Since im the shy type, i didn't talk much on that date. I feel like he has been asking so many questions compared to me, i answered him with enthusiasm, not with 1 word. he's listening to every words and even laughed at my not so funny jokes. But i only asked him like about 5 questions. We did make eye-contact most of the times. There're some awkward silent moments between us so he asked if i wanna go home cuz he knew i had classed the morning after and i said yes. But he asked me again to make sure and i still said yes. He texted me immediately after i got home asking if i was scared of him cuz i was too quiet. I told him i was nervous. The next day he texted me at 10pm but i feel something's off in the way he talked. He even asked why i never texted him first and i said i rarely text first. Then im off to sleep at 11, he wished me goodnight. Now he's stopped texting me from then. Did i do something wrong? I feel like he's been doubting my feeling for him. What should i do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Damn you have zero game, actually you kind of do unknowngly but it only works out because you're a girl, if you were a dude you'd be a wizard lol. No offence but the shy type when it comes to dating is a huge turnoff, at least from me. I actually stopped seeing a girl because of it even though she was insanely hot (super liked her on tinder, that's how fucking hot). So yea, you really need to work on getting out of your comfort zone.

    Now to your other problem, lets look at it from the guy's perspective. He's been talking to this girl for the past month everyday and he has already developed feeligs for her. He can't wait to see her, but he's also nervous and anxious and he hopes it goes well. He probably has this image in his head of how the date is going to go and how it's going to go so well and that you two will really hit it off since you two have hit it off via texting. Anyway, the dudes excited, anxious, nervous, and scared that you won't like him. You both meet for the date and he's thinking dayayum I want me some of that. Unfortunately, you don't seem excited. He has no idea why, but fuck he must be doing something wrong since you seem so uninterested. He starts feeling the pressure so he's bringing up all these random topics and is asking all these questions to see if he can find a middle ground, but nope, it's not happening, you still don't seem into it since you're not talking much. He has to do all the work. He asks you if you want to go, hoping you'd say no. You say yes and confirm it again, now he's thinking "fuck that didn't go as well as I hoped, she hardly talked and then wanted to leave, fuck I've fucked this up". He's also clingy and doesn't understand dating well so he texted you the next day all the while hoping you'd text him first. You tell him you rarely text first and shit you're right. Now he's thinking, fuck she didn't seem too interested in the date and I always text first. Maybe she doesn't like me as much as I think she does? If she likes me she'd put some more effort. I don't want to come as too clingy or overpursue so I'll wait until I hear from her again...

    Yea it's most likely something along those lines. Point is, if you like the guy show him, put in some effort and don't expect him to do all the work, he's not your dad. It takes two to tango.

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    • The best advice I can give you is that when it comes to dating men and women have specific roles. The man's job is to "hunt" basically go after the girl and make his advances. As a woman, your job is to allow him to advance (open the doors for him), and reward him when he does so otherwise he's just going to feel lost and walk out the way he came in.

    • Thank you so much. You're describing his thought through the situation nearly perfect. I was thinking the same thing that's going on in his mind but im not sure. Maybe i should text him first?

    • No worries, glad I could help :). Yes, definitely text him first and make him feel appreciated, seriously that goes a long way, few girls do that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • move on. you can't force someone to like you. your personality just wasn't his type and thats ok. he isn't the only guy on earth

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    • What im really concern is most guys find being shy a real turnoff

What Guys Said 2

  • You need to show some interest in him. It's not enjoyable at all to be the one doing all the chasing and all the work, makes you feel like the other person isn't interested. For me this has also lead to women telling me they are in love with me when I'm still at the "I kinda like hanging out with you" stage. This happens because for them it feels like I'm really into them and for me it feels like they are cold and might just want to be friends.

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    • Should i text him first for once?

    • yes absolutely! you should do it more than once, ask questions to get to know him as well, you can even ask him to go do something with you. If that's really hard then talk openly to him about it.

      He needs to know that you like him and want a chance to be with him, then if it doesn't work out at least you know it was just never meant to be and not because you didn't text or something silly.

  • Let him go. It's over

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