Do you think shy girls worth the effort to go for?

[Anonymous]

How I have been told, advised, experienced... Is the best way I have come up with to go for a shy girl.
Step 1 approach them consistently and warmly
Step 2 Become their freind until they warm up about 7 months
Step 3 Break the touch barrier
Step 4 lightly flirt she will react or won't but she won't show you or tell you if she did not like it
Step 5 try asking her out and hope that she has a crush on you cause other wise you just wasted 7 months and you lost a freind.

So how far off am I? What do you think about this list? What are your thoughts or advice on shy girls?

Yes they are worth it

Na they are not really worth it

It only works if she likes you

It might work if she did not like you

Unless they let you know that they like you don't go for them

Try it asking her out might be worth the risk of losing a freind

Results

Updates

+1 y

The number of months was random and exaggerated.

[Kairnoct]

If you like her, and she seems to like you, ask her out. Anything else, especially like the 'method' you are describing is juvenile manipulation, and rarely actually helps. It just makes it so that by the time you jump through your self placed hoops, she likely will be seeing some guy who decided to be honest and ask her out instead of lying about his intentions for months.

If she likes you, she will say yes. If she doesn't, she'll say no, but that is almost certainly the answer you would get after X months of manipulation. Save her and you a lot of grief and just be honest to begin with.

[Asker]

Dude your not talking about a shy girl. Your talking about an introverted girl.

[Kairnoct]

No, talking about shy. You are deflecting.

[Asker]

I was kind of being sarcastic with 7 months. It was just a number I accidentally hit. However you do have to get to know them a bit.

[Kairnoct]

The precise time is not the problem. The problem is the methodology you are describing. The "touch barrier". All of it. Getting to know a girl, and presenting your best self, is not a problem. The problem is instead of treating her like a person and being honest with your intentions, you treat her like a video game achievement you achieve by way of a strategy.

If you are using a strategy on a person, that is what being manipulative means.

Yes, get to know her some, but don't lie to her that you are trying to be her friend. If you also want to be her friend, that is great, but be honest that friendship is not your only goal.

[Asker]

I'm a list kind of person so sue me. That is what my freinds, past mistakes, and mentors have suggested. Also who is lying? I'm just not flirting with her.

[CheckPlease]

Nice list though I would add in compliment her first approach and occasionally compliment her. My girlfriend says 2 months max to let her open up. Given you see her twice a week at best.
They are worth the effort as a freind but never expect more from a girl that is shy.

[TsundereMatrix]

As a shy girl, I have to like you or else I'll run the other way. If I like you, you'll have to be consistent with approaching me but not to move things too quickly and give me space every once in a while.

[Asker]

So um no way for me to see if a shy girl likes me? Because it is so hard to tell and they hide their feelings either way. Twice I approached shy girls and they both shied away. Their friends latter told me that 1 really liked me but I never got to talk with her again cause she avoided me and school ended for that year. The other was petrified that I had approached her and complimented her. Her friends said that she did not like me and hatted that I said she had a lovely smile.
Also how do I know when a shy girl needs space? Cause it looks like disinterest honestly when they suddenly avoid you.

[TsundereMatrix]

If her friends start telling you she likes you (or even don't like you) that means she probably told them she does. Try approaching her again. Instead of complimenting her right away, just try to strike up a conversation.

[Asker]

Well I would have to approach her first before I complimented her.

[Asker]

Also often a girls friends are wrong. I have been there before. Ouch

[GoodtimeGuy]

A shy girl, needs to be approached respectfully by a guy who displays confidence. When one person is shy, and the other is confident, the shy one will understand how to develop confidence, and the confident one will develop a better point of view of the shy person. Both will benefit if the two do truly care for one another. NEVER, ever pressure a shy person when they are unconformable.

[Asker]

Good advice

[SteelPanther]

They absolutely worth it, but you dont need to make a several months long mission for a step. most of them change positively by genuinely being interested in. So be open for their reactions, they may surprise you :)

[Asker]

My problem is that I can't tell when a shy girl likes me and they usually hid it if they do and they hide what they want to say if they don't. I flirted with a shy girl for 2 weeks before asking her out and I thought that she enjoyed my flirting but she hated it. If she had said something I would have stopped the first time but she just waited till I asked her out and made things more awkward between us.

[SteelPanther]

For many shy girls you won't be able to tell if they like your approach, or your complete self. It is just like that, they are in a nutshell. You can go and be yourself, no tricks and show them you like them. It is still their thing if that is mutual. You need to decide if you want to invest energy for it or not. You may try to befriend her girlfriends, but not in a way like you enjoy their company more than hers.

[Asker]

Good advice man

[BasilBrushSays]

They're the worst in dating, proper time leaches. It would take you ages to get intimate with them since they be frigid AF l. Also after all the time, energy and money put in to developing things you run the risk of her saying no or finishing things with no reward of sex.

[Anonymous]

I am not compatible with shy girls as I'm shy myself...

They struggle to communicate, they are scared, they won't let you know how they feel and are usually flakey.

[Asker]

Did don't even get me started talking about flakey peeps.

[Matt95]

Yes it's worth it. You don't have to lose a friend if it fails.

[Asker]

Well sadly xp has shown me other wise. They either just block you and avoid you or the friendship is never the same or fun. They are just nice with you. I have yet to stay friends with a girl I asked out. Even after I asked out my close middle school female freind in high school. She specifically said that we would stay friends but we sadly did not stay friends.

[Matt95]

I'm not saying that it is easy but I fell in love with one of my closest friends over 3 years. after ther the 3rd i realised my feelings for her and told her 2 months later. she spent 2 weeks thinking about it but ultimately she wasn't interested. that was 2 years ago and she is one of my best friends still. What i would say helped us is being forced together. We drove each other to uni every day before and after I told her. This made the awkwardness almost immediately dissapear (2-3 days) and we were able to get on eith out friendship. The kind of oerson she and I are though ultinately was the reason it worked out.

[JayCasper777]

I was on board until I red 7 months. wtf.
that's crazy man. shy girls are the best tho

[Asker]

Yeah I was kind of being sarcastic with 7 months. It was just a number I accidentally hit.

[JayCasper777]

oh cool. cos that sh*t sound cray. but shy girls are best in my experience

[Anonymous]

It happened for me don't waste time on shy girls, my girl shy at sex also i never saw her wild but inside she wanted to

[Asker]

Any thoughts on why you did not see her wild?

[bc1989]

specifically 7 months 😂

[Asker]

Lol no I updated the question.