Guys, will sex on the first date ruin my chance at a relationship?

[w_brown]

If I have sex with a guy on the first date, will it ruin my chances of him having feelings for me? If so, why?

[redeyemindtricks]

If there's obvious chemistry — and if you clearly WANT it — then... no.
Gurlfren I've NEVER "waited" for sex. That sort of chemistry is just way, way too important for me.
From the time my husband and I met, we waited all of 2 hours to "get down"... and, honestly, that *would* have been 2 minutes instead of 2 hours, had it not been for pesky logistical barriers.

See... For me, lust and sexual connection are absolutely necessary prerequisites to love.
They're... the seeds from which love grows. Sure, not every seed will grow into love -- but, if the seeds aren't planted, then, no love.

Unlike many people, I'm perfectly capable of fucking for fun and fulfillment without developing emotional attachments. So, this way of living has never entailed any significant emotional risks for me.
Plus... You can learn a LOT about someone from sexual communication -- and I'm talking about VERY important character traits. The kinds of things that can totally make or break a relationship, honestly. The sooner you learn these kinds of things about someone, the better... and some of these are things you can observe almost instantaneously in a lover, yet you might take years and years and years to learn about someone *outside* the bedroom.
I wrote a LOT about this on my opinion here (it's the mho thread)
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2066783-are-there-guys-willing-to-wait-until-marriage

In any case... Being an impatient slut (heh) has worked out *fantastically* well for me. Several good relationships, with good men... lots of sexual fulfillment and self-knowledge... and, now, 16+ years of an ecstatic, intimate, HOT marriage that's still getting better... and hotter.

It isn't just me, either. Of my girlfriends who are most satisfied with their marriages, MOST were intimate with their husbands within 1-2 dates, and all but one were intimate with their husbands within less than a month.
... And that one exception is a Mormon woman who first met her would-be husband in junior high. (:

__

Oh, and, about "ruining yr chances":
This MIGHT happen — **IF** (1) the boy is a worthless shit anyway, and/or (2) the sex happens when you're sloppy drunk and clearly not in full control of yrself.
More about these:
(1) Don't sweat these boys. They aren't worth a damn second of yr time. If the sex is good, then, enjoy the sex, then throw the boy away and move on.
These are the boys who value external pretense and appearances over actual substance -- and who actually WANT a

[redeyemindtricks]

woman to subject them to a certain amount of pointless manipulation, all just to show that she's not too "slutty". Ahahahha... Grow up, little boys.
(2) In this case... well... honestly, I'd side with the boy in seeing this as a warning sign. NEVER drink too much to take full responsibility for **owning** what you do. And for fuck's sake NEVER have sex for the sake of trying to be a "pleaser" — that's the best way ever to ensure that the boy will NEVER take you seriously as anything other than a fuck toy.

__

But, the take-home point is this:
A real MAN, who actually loves women -- and who'll eventually love YOU -- absolutely will not care. He'll let the relationship develop at whatever pace is natural for both of ya. No matter how fast.

[LovingNerd]

My wife of 21 years, three grown kids, we slept together on our first date. It's connection and chemistry, and the sex was wonderful, so no, the risk of having no sex and then guessing whether the connection is worth repeating, is on you, how you both approach that moment. If it happens out of mutual desire, he asks, or you ask, then enjoy it as sex, chalk it up as experience.

[redeyemindtricks]

@LovingNerd Awesome to hear you're still going strong! Here's to many more years ahead ♥️

[EvilAngel114]

It depends on the guy. It does make you come off as easy though. I've known guys to test girls just to see if they would give in. If the chemistry is there, then it's there and if you both feel right about it, then you do what you gotta do. But in my honest opinion... you should value yourself a bit more than that. I mean who is to say that he really even likes you. At least get a few dates in to know if you both like each other and don't get used. If a guy really likes and respect you, he won't mind waiting. A guy that just wants in your pants isn't going to keep waiting around as there are plenty others. But again... if you don't really care about all of that... well shit, do your thing.

[browneyedgirl8]

it depends on the guy, guys are weird and sometimes they think of you just as a hookup after that even if you clearly like them. but sometimes if y'all are comfortable with each other it works out easy and just builds the relationship

[MackFreeze]

I would say it would become expected from that point on. I want to wait so I wouldn't recommend giving yourself away, especially on the first date, that's your call. I wouldn't say it would lower my chances of having feelings for you. However, if you land a guy who wants to hook up and a guy who wants a real relationship your really rolling the dice here. You can't weed out the one night hook ups from real material and risk getting hurt a lot. I definitely would say having sex the first night doesn't make your chances of staying in a long term relationship any better. Character matters, truly anyone can have sex. I say, build your character! That's a rare thing to have!

[Kuraj]

Depends on who you want to attract.
Inexperienced little boys might be glad because they will naively think that they are SO great that they got you to sleep with them right away.

More experienced guys will recognize that you simply do this on every second date either because you are easy or because you have a non-existent taste in men.
After that you are gambling on whether they decide to profit from your "easiness" for a while or instead choose to spend their time on more meaningful things.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

Yeah probably. Because you didn't allow proper time to vet the guy properly so if he jus wants to use for sex then you just gave it to him. If it's lust that's motivating him or you, you both will probably realize after the sex is over that there wasn't or isn't any substance. Acting out of lust is never a good thing. You might regret it.

[theintrovert]

In all honesty, If he really likes you for you, he'll be happy with you either way. Sex to some guys is considered something to wait for if he likes you. Other guys think if you two do it means you have enough chemistry and history to be expressive with each other. In the reverse, be careful because there may be a chance he does not see it going anywhere further.

[Sir-Tab]

well for me (not all guys) it show that your inserted in them and for me it can help them open up a bit to a lot more especially if they never been in that many relationship before. to me it say I really like you and I want to be around you so please don't hesitate or be shy be yourself. For me that how I will take it because I'm a bit weird and I can't express myself in normal way. but that just me

[Paguy1219]

Not typically but it depends on the guy. If he just wanted to get in your pants and nothing more it probably wouldn't make a difference either way. If he is going to get feelings for you, he still will either way. The only difference is he may possibly think you're easy if you do it right away. But again, it really depends on the guy.

[jb_jmdk2]

with me, no, cause it wouldn't happen. id. stop you. respectfully, but id stop it. now the next guy, i couldn't tell ya

[MadeInAmerica]

Not all the time. I don't like it. I think it's kinda fast and it makes me think how many others she gave it to that easily.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Your chances drop big time of him taking you seriously as a girlfriend or wife. It tells the guy you are easy to have sex with. And who is to say you wouldn't give up easy to another man that shows interest while you are in a relationship and cheat on your man.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

No. If things don't work out after having sex on the first date, it usually indicates the relationship wasn't meant to be in the first place. It's really better to have sex on the first date so you know where you and the potential partner will stand when it comes to sex. You'll find out sooner whether you are compatible.

[scottish]

make that fool wait and if he pushes or pressures you. his only interest is sex. first question you should ever ask a male.. how is their relationship with their father... the response will prove many things

[Losalt]

Depends on the guy.
With most of us, no it won't have any effect or at least no negative one.
However there are exceptions.
Especially among some conservative religious people...

[guy42069]

Yes it does ruin your chances. There may be a few guys who dont think that, but majority would assume that you guys were having a one night stand and not a real date.

[Anonymous]

Don't really think it affects anything to be fair. Had sex first meeting with 2 of my ex's. And both lasted a year or so

[Mandude]

yeah, it's like skipping all the levels in a video game and just going to the end. don't skip all the stuff in the middle! it will make the relationship feel superficial cause it's it's not built on anything.

[geonator]

He might be less likely to commit if you have sex on the first date. If he gets to know you more first he might appreciate you more

[Listening5]

Nah, have sex with him on the first date and give him everything instead of getting to know each other. Nothing is perfect for falling in love than rushing to have sex on the first date.

[TSNBoy]

If you were my date, nope it would not ruin your chance at a relationship

[Mattccc]

maybe but it depends on the relationship before you dated

[Monobe]

I feel more comfortable after having sex. sex on the first date would open me up quicker

[TheChocolateWriter]

if a guy asked me for sex on the first date, I would fill some type of way about it and cross him off on my list.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

It really depends on the guy and it could go either way?
There's no hard and fast rule.