Does sex on the first date ruin the chances of having a relationship? Why or why not?

[FlowerBomb12]

Yes it does

No it doesn't

Other

[Xoxocutekitty]

I said yes, because there are types of guys out there that will instantly decide that YOU ARE NO LONGER A PERSON DESERVING OF RESPECT because you didn't act or behave sexually within their own moral codes of how dating is supposed to go. In my mind, this is absolute bull, because one really should not go around deciding when you get to stop respecting people when it is convenient to you.

In my own dating experience, I have found along with those bad apples, that WHEN you have sex (be it the first or heck 6 or heck 10th date), a guy that is not interested in getting to know YOU, will significantly decrease his effort once he's decided that he can just "get sex" again, usually by the 3rd time. The difference between making an informed decision about not wanting to continue on dating/getting to know you and the bad apples is often made known by the immature way that the relationship "ended," A person that continues to respect people, regardless of how "enraptured" or "useful" someone else is to them, will tell you that they are no longer interested in a relatively concise way. Someone who doesn't give two shits, will probably ghost you, or blame you saying things like "you're just too boring, or too much work, or too demanding of my time."

But do not despair! I have also found, that if a guy that really likes you (whether you have sex on the 1st, 6th or 10th date) he will continue investing increased time and energy getting to know you because he is grateful to be in your presence. He will value your time of day, and he will keep wanting to get to know you (and doing that pretty hot amazing thing again).

Many guys value sex as a higher % of the "criteria" for relationship material. They want to believe that sex is going to be good and that she will value his sexual needs. It really doesn't matter whether if its a first date or not, a guy that likes you, will want to see you, and a guy that doesn't (and doesn't respect you either) will just say words to get sex. Eventually he will get bored because your self-esteem is not as good as it was before you met him, and he will continue on to blame you for not being attractive enough, when in fact, you were before someone treated you poorly.

[sagevalentineee]

I would say no. I think you need some sort of physical connection and tension on a first date, otherwise it feels to platonic, but I think sex is also not a great idea. You might be running on momentary infatuation, you might be making a bad choice, their opinion of you may be lowered due to this.

Then again, like I said it depends. When I recall my first date with my boyfriend, at the end we were lounging on a sofa in a hotel listening to the piano. Some times your body just speaks right, we didn't speak to each other for about half an hour, we were just sat there and he was stroking my shoulders. I could have had sex then right, I really wanted to, we had such good connection. But I also think we did the right thing not to, because in the following days of seeing each other it just further increased. This intimacy period of our relationship, where we weren't having sex was actually a really special time, where I was constantly on edge, but I didn't wait long lol. I lost my virginity to him about 3 weeks later.

[David_Kek]

First serious relationship of mine which lasted years was on a first date.
Granted we were good friends online for a while before she decided to throw herself at me, but the fact is she made it perfectly clear she wanted to have sex with me before i thought of her that way, offered it on a plate in no uncertain terms just before i was due to come up to hers, and after about 3 months of being friends with benefits, the long term relationship just naturally happened.
Never looked down on her, and did in the end develop strong feelings for her.

Throwing your vagina at a guy doesn't automatically mean you're ruining your chances of having a relationship with him, it really does depend on context. There's lots of factors which would ruin it, but the same is true when it comes to denying yourself to him.
These things really are complicated, too complicated to lay out in one post. All i can tell you is from my experience, it doesn't automatically ruin the chances of it, in fact in some circumstances it can help it happen faster.

Just spend less time thinking about this, and more time focusing on yourself, and just let your gut guide you on a case by case basis. If it feels right, then do, if it doesn't, then don't.
And don't let the occasional failure bring you down, it's simply part of life.

[godfatherfan]

No it does not. Honestly, I would say that it could enhance the chance it will work. If I know that she isn't playing games. That we both knew it felt right and she wasn't afraid to act on it, I will have way more respect for her. The women that have sex based on the number of date it is, or how many weeks or months it has been, are just not genuine and I would have less respect for them if I found out that is what they did. Now things are different between my age and young people. At my age the "sex" date is usually 3rd date on average. I have had sex once instead of a first date. long story that I have told a few times on here. It is one of my most treasured memories. And we did date for about a month. But I was only 3months out from my divorce at the time and just SOOOO not ready to be in a relationship.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

It's not a solid yes or no.

It depends on who he is. If his chance to meet girls is high, and he's not into a serious relationship. (Of course, not every person is honest.) He might be happy and okay with having sex on the first date.

It depends on the woman. If she's aware that people know how to talk (boast), esp. players. They would tell what happens to their friends or acquaintances. There are some who secretly record sex tapes and post on the internet, too. How would we be sure that a man we just met won't do that?

If she isn't afraid of her bad reputation and her future, I have nothing else to say.

[Billie_]

It CAN. But it depends. Lets say this person is someone you've been friends with for a long time, and you've decided to see each other intimately. In this case, you already have established an emotional connection and sex could be what you were waiting for.

If you've only really just met or are new to this person, then most likely. Why? Because you don't know this man yet. You have no idea who he is, or what he wants from you. And until you know that, you shouldn't be having sex with him.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

I make the guy wait.. so I know we have a solid foundation won't be all about sex.. anyone can have sex but can you connect with someone so well if you had an accident and couldnt have sex with them anymore would they stick around? If sex is all you put out sex is all you get in return.. I want to grow old with Matt so I didn't have sex with till after 7 weeks usually wait 2 months but I couldnt resist any longer

[Anonymous]

As a man I feel like I HAVE to make a move early to show where I stand. This doesn’t mean sex on the first date. But I have to show we are moving in that direction.

I’m not being that way to just for a hook up or friends with benefits. But every single time I’ve held out for more than 3 weeks I’ve been friendzoned. Every single f*cking time. No pun intended.
Truth is I would actually LIKE to hold out with a girl for once. Never in my life had I had that work. High school, college, 20s and 30s all women have friendzoned me if I didn’t make a fast enough.

[JohnDominik]

No, it doesn't. Maybe quite the opposite.

My girlfriend and I got to know each other in a night club. There was this instant chemestry between us. We had sex the very first night and it was awsome. We both assumed that the other has done this before. For me the idea that she slept with so many other guys was such a turn-on. After the first hookup, I asked her out for a date. We met in a park and wanted to go to a nice cafe. We started to make out again. It escalated and we went to my place and had sex again. It was pure ecstasy. In the evening, we finally made it to the cafe and figured out that we are both very talkative after sex. We also figured out that we click on so many other levels and started dating. To this day, this strong sexual attraction is still a very important part of our relationship. I'm sure by now that she is my life partner.

[carusis]

Maybe not every guy will agree with me, but we wanna conquer/siege the castle (women). We dont wanna free win. If we get it on first date, Its most likely not gonna work, cause we will lose interest. Some of us might even take u like a "easy" girl. For me and my girlfriend.. it took almost 6 months, before we had sex. And before anyone says that she fucked someone else.. nope.. we were/are together almost 99% of the time and she is quite clingy, so she doesn't wanna leave my side not even for few hours. Feel kinda cute for me.

[Liasso]

This is my honest opinion, no it dous not for the following reason.
If you hit it off enough to have sex and you still interact with one another after that. Nice, good for you.

If you had fun and decides to have sex and you didn't get a reply after it just means he only wanted a one night stand.
Besides we all adults here, sex is something you will eventually have. It being out of the way u will know its value or worth when u wake up after the deed.

[GnarCute]

sex on the first date is a one night standish deal for most.

Its nice but when you think about it, you just had sex 1 date into the relationship? never open your legs so early. I work by the 3 Dates and 3 bases rules.

First Date First base
Second Date Second Base
Third Date third base
all in all it takes a month to get into my panties. If they aren't willing to wait a month they are not gonna be willing to deal with you for long

[Nades]

Riven is cuter

[Miristheiss]

I have never even tried to do more with a girl but kiss and hold hands on a first date.
I'm guessing usually it is drunk girls at a club that are that type.
I always swam in a different sea than those women.
I girl who does or did that was never one I had any interest in.

[BlessedDaddy]

Yes and no. It depends on who your fucking on the first date. If you are really into each other and neither of you is bullshitting the other, you could have a love story. If he's a player, he may not ever talk to you again once he fucks you. My take on it is that if you want to fuck someone on a first date, fuck them. Have fun

[nodnol32]

I believe so. You might not remotely be into each other and if the sex isn't the best you might refrain from each other. I would prefer to wait a few dates to build the connection and eliminate the element of lust and hopefully have some meaningful sex.

[SaraSmithishere]

I've never had sex on the first date and I've been lucky to have only been asked out by really chivalrous, nice guys who walked me to my car, lent me their coats, etc. and never pushed for sex after the first date. Every time I have felt sexual chemistry, though.
I don't know if it ruins it or not. From the perspective of a woman, I don't think so, but I'd look at what the men say.

[genericname85]

no it doesn't. but it doesn't increase them either. so i mean just by common sens, you know that you don't stay forever with everyone you date once. so that makes it very unlikely that you stay with someone you had sex on a first date with. it's not "impossible" though.

[Anonymous]

No, sex has nothing to do with it. It’s about personality and how you act. If they’re not interested in something long term then that’s how things were going to play out regardless of sex. Same if they do like you, sex isn’t going to change that. What changes it is if they actually like you.

Now if you’ve been porking loads of guys the that’s a different problem, first date or otherwise.

[Radio4men]

If I dont get laid on the first date 99% of the time I cut the girl off. One time even a good looking car was in a taxi with me and she was saying how I live far and blah blah.. I told the cab to stop I opened the door she thought Im getting out with her and left and block and deleted her right away.

[Shamalien]

It doesn’t always, but think about this. If a person has sex on the first date, it takes them all of one night to cheat on you... that’s kind of risky. I think I would not want to be involved with someone who can have sex with a complete fking stranger. That person’s vagina is unsafe lol they are an idiot

[Asianguy123]

tell him before you date. And ask him if it's ok that you just want date not sex. If you don't tell him before the date it's kind of late. He will expect already have sex after dinner. make sure he agrees your intention and make him respect your will. Tell him like I don't like to have sex after date. Tell him that how long you want to go without sex. Express yourself

[Anonymous]

It probably depends on how it all came about. It's one thing if you just hit it off, have great chemistry, make a strong connection, start making out and eventually decide to have full sex. It's another story if you end up both getting crazy drunk and it seems THAT is the real reason that sex happens. The first makes it more about my personal connection. The second makes it seem like if she got drunk with literally anyone she may be dtf.

[Opinion Owner]

@valerierlay THANKS spam-bot!

[LeoPride93]

It really depends on the situation. Most of the time it does ruin it, but there are exceptions to that...

[jmac23]

Look sex and love are too different things. They can complement each other, but not the same thing. I feel people in more successful relationships recognize that.