Would you rather get a soft rejection or a hard rejection?

[Blueeyes81]

Soft rejection. Done to make the rejection more palatable. But can often confuse the recipient.

Hard rejection. Being blunt, not necessarily cruel, but there is no mistaking the intention.

Soft rejection

Hatd rejection

[estoydorado1]

Respectful and straight to the point. I haven't approached a guy in a couple years but I try to reject guys the way I'd prefer to be rejected and most of them take it really well.

[Quintessence]

I would prefer a professional rejection. That is, they tell me clearly and respectfully that they're not interested.

[RedThread]

I don't like confusing answers. Tell me straight up and I'll leave you right the hell alone. There's literally billions of other fish in the sea I could pursue.

[Anonymous]

I am too old for bullshit. Give it to me straight, then I out!!!

[HesaidShesaidNO]

I totally would agree with you :D be straight or get out. LOL

[Logorithim]

I can take a hint, so I'd pefer it done softly.

[sjoes006]

Hardline. Better for everyone and it doesn't have to be hurtful and is less hurtful than soft line.

It is what it is and just nip it in tjenidd before things progress.

I'm very God at this when I used to date. First three dates an easy it was really nice meeting you works.

I've had few relationships that go beyond there dates and don't turn into something.

For the two I can think of it was mutual.

I soft rejected one guy and it was confusing for him. He self focused so we had bad dates because others publicly shamed him and had me make him leave. He talked during a jazz venue performance loudly and for a long time.

He thought because I agreed to one date he won me and Honestly most guys I date once I date for at least 6 months.

Not this guy. Really interesting. He felt like the job was done securing a first date, talked over me and refused my offer to get us in to VIP at a concert the same night.

[HesaidShesaidNO]

Wait, the phrase "it was really nice meeting you" is that soft rejection for real?

[Blueeyes81]

@HesaidShesaidNO to me a soft rejection would be something like "that sounds like fun but i already have plans that night" or "I like you but im just not looking for a relationship right now". I've gotten those a lot over the years. 90% of the time it means im not interested without having to actually say so.

[HesaidShesaidNO]

I have been out of the dating loop for many years. I had no clue those phrases was a soft rejection because I've said those before and I truly liked the guy.

[Blueeyes81]

@HesaidShesaidNO thats why they are so confusing. Its meant as a way for the one rejectiong to not feel bad about it and inflict minimal pain on the person being rejected. The person being rejected has to try and determine if it was truly a rejection or if she was interested but truly busy. A hard rejection leaves zero doubt that the other person was not interested. That is why i truly loathe soft rejections.

[HesaidShesaidNO]

I concur, now I also loathe soft rejections. Thanks for sharing your insights.

[sjoes006]

Okay yeah your def of soft rejection= lies and excuses. Totally not saying you're wrong. This is so. common but I don't give them because it does leave people
Confused and with mixed message.

I think anytime at the end of the first three dates they should end with clear intention of whether or not youlll see each other again by one or both parties.

Sometimes great first date, weird second and def no go on third. Luckily in the few cases where this happens most of the time both parties realize that original spark isn't there and part ways. I had great third dates where you realize you are friends and nothing more.

BUT if it's one sided and I know I'm not pursuing things further I never do that I'll call you shit or whatever. Whatever feels most natural I put a closing note on it as we are walking out or whenever. Not in a rushed way. Oh and I pick up the drink tab for sure.

It's respectful. If you can't take an honest expression of appreciation

[sjoes006]

For the time spent but but an honest 'I really enjoyed our conversation it was nice meeting you.'. You shouldn't be dating.

Second and third date cut offs are trickier but a good question to ask is, do you want to do this again? If unsure.

I've answered that question before with I'm a bit further along with someone else as of recent and have decided to see where it goes or similar but only if the true.

Point being I never want to leave a date knowing I have no intention to ever talk to that person again and have them leaving with hopes of a future. I've done it mistakenly in the past because the guy was just not taking any other answer and he went through like three weeks of false hope. Bad on me.

[HesaidShesaidNO]

Thanks for sharing your insights too. :) In general, dating in person and online is still mind boggling to me so I am not going into the dating scene anytime soon.

[matheus_mb]

Honest rejection. The last one I got was honest and her choice of words made it really better to hear. You could consider it soft... but it was actually honest. Of course that nobody likes a hard rejection, but the outcome is always the same: you got rejected.

[DeeperMeaning]

I don't like these options, because one sounds like the person is rejecting you without openly telling you (which is never a good idea) and the other is the person rejecting you while being a complete asshole (which isn't nice to do). You can be open and honest about rejecting someone without being a complete and utter tool. I'd rather a clear, honest rejection without them being a jerk.

[Prof_Don]

I preferred the hard rejection when I was younger, mainly because I couldn't take a hint and would consider the soft rejection as "I still have a chance". With the hard rejection, I knew that there was no chance so I wouldn't ponder the situation anymore.

Now I prefer the soft rejection, I like tactfulness in a lady, even if she doesn't take up my offer.

[sineater8]

well i generally encourage a soft rejection to insure there are no hard feelings or resentments. However some people just don't get the hint and having a handy 'no, get the fuck away from me' is some times needed.

[Vesuvius87]

I've gotten a hard rejection from my former HS crush. He very mean at it but so what. It's not the end of the world. At least, it's a relief they aren't gonna waste further of your time giving you false hopes.

[AriesMan]

Just get it over with so I am not feeling like I have a chance to somehow change myself and win you back. Been there, done that...

[soul1112]

"Soft" rejection doesn't necessarily mean beating around the bush and not being able to tell a guy. It just means you're not necessarily being a bitch about it.

There's your obvious answer.

[JoeyX]

I'd reject someone hardly. But I'd like others to reject me softly lol

[Regular1]

I'd prefer a soft one. Sort of like "No, I don't want a date, but here, let me give you a nice BJ so there's no hard feelings.

[Walrus_au]

Either one sucks

but when I glanced over the question, I saw 'soft erection' and 'hard erection' and almost did a spit-take. :D

[TacosRAwesome]

Doesn't really matter. As long as they are not dicks about it, I'd get it.

[Browneye57]

It's the same fukkin thing - IT'S OVER SONNY. That's the goddam point. LOL

Geesh.

[burpzzzzz]

I just ignore women who approach me then they get pissed off. lol

[Anonymous]

I like it when the rejection is soft but firm. I'm not yelled at or just flatly told no, but rather a no that shows they do care about me, just not in that way. I will respect their decisions.

[Lumberman53]

Hard rejection I would rather she is brutally honest with then she lies to not hurt my feelings

[Lumberman53]

*with me

[Humbledman74006]

I wanna be slapped and told. to go the fick away, in front of a crowd

[mooky06]

Hard rejection with some sugarcoating lol

[Silent_Bob]

Hard. Clarity is very important to me.

[savalisk]

Hard. Don't waste my time.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

Honesty is best policy.

[Daniel_James]

Hard rejections give me an erection.

[bondobilly]

Hard. Rip that bandaid off

[JCT666]

I prefer to know the hard truth.

[Frank_Woods]

Daddy wants it hard.

[incandescentwithsage]

I would prefer to have a hard rejection.