Rejected.
Recently I contacted a person who made some content that I enjoyed and who were coming across as someone who "gets around" a lot, and open with sexual stuff.
So, I said I enjoyed their content and they replied within the day, but then later I also propositioned them if they would be into some of the sex stuff they were going on about, I felt I should be honest since I hadn't only contacted them because I was a fan of their content.
They said they weren't here for that stuff, but their messages were also strange because they were sending barely legible messages with huge spelling mistakes but their content is written normally. Ok that's fine they weren't interested, but then I asked if they weren't here for just normal questions I could ask to know them in general.
This time they did not reply, but then a while later they added an unrelated comment to one of my questions, so I replied about the message I'd sent them... they still didn't reply.
After maybe one or two weeks I left a follow up message, just asking if they were there... still no reply after quite some time.
I very much resent this person for ignoring my effort to get a resolution, I don't think my actions were out of line or were deserving of me being ignored. Some people would even try to take revenge on them after being ignored.
It would have been good if they had done the courtesy of saying they didn't want to talk to me since I'd propositioned them, or whatever the reason was. Since I was the one putting myself out there and not being rude about it, I think I deserve to be able to talk through it so it's ok for both of us.
People say you should get the hint if you're ignored, but non communication isn't the way to solving problems in a healthy way for everybody. But I think these types of people were raised in a way where they were ignored, or have a genetic component to not empathize with others, so they continue the toxic behaviour and are unable to see it as a wrong thing for them to do.
A rejection would allow me to keep respecting the person. No ill will there. Ignoring somebody is both inconsiderate and immature, she's gonna lose some of my respect and likely any chance of friendship.
Rather rejected I believe. Even if they aren't completely honest, then I'd get an answer. Being ignored is never fun, very few people like being treated like air.
In the end I think it's easier to move on by getting a 'no' as well. It's easier to work through and get over. Getting no answer, your mind may still linger on it, wondering if maybe they will answer you, or maybe the message just didn't get through and so on... It's not good for your feelings, I'd rather be a little hurt, work it through and then be on my way
Both options are terrible really. But if I had to choose, I'd say ignored. If someone ignores me enough, I get the hint they're not interested or want to date me and I'll stop talking to them or flirting with him.
Rejection, they flat out tell you they don't like you or want to date you. Which tends to hurt your self esteem more.
I think being ignored hurts more because it's sending the clear message that I am not worth responding to
True, but I'm just looking at it from my perspective; I know it differs per person. By ignoring me, it shows he's not interested, much less wants to talk to me. So I'm not even going to bother pursuing or flirting with him anymore.
If he flat out rejects me... well look at it this way: imagine flirting, teasing, and going out of your way to impress a girl only to be shot down. You've put in all this work assuming they like you.
At least if they give you the cold shoulder off the bat you KNOW it's not worth wasting your time on him or her. And you can move on to someone else, before you invest all your time and energy into someone not worth the effort.
@Cynicaldreamer I see where you're coming from. I can easily relate to flirting and going out of my way to impress a girl, putting myself out there, only to be shot down.. it has happened so many times that it doesn't affect me anymore.
And just because she's not interested in my sexually doesn't mean that she's not worth keeping in my life. Maybe we'll be friends. That's not a waste of time.
If they give me the cold shoulder, then we definitely won't be friends. Rejection can be warm, or at least not cold. Being ignored is always cold and disrespectful.
Well, try being ignored IN A RELATIONSHIP. Fun times! The ignoring/ghosting has some to such a level that it has become ABSURD. Nowadays people don't just ignore flirting, they took it to the next level by ignoring their partners as well, hoping they will "get the hint". Even long-term friends do this! I simply have no comment for today's society.
@little_bird1 Okay now THAT is disrespectful and a whole another rant! Yeah I've been there, especially friendship wise. Rather than talk to you or ask to end things, they just ghost or "forget" about you, hoping you'll get the hint and move on 😡
Remember when people were considerate or said when they had a problem? I miss those days.
@Cynicaldreamer Yes, it's unbelievable. Some even "inform" you that you are done by simply blocking you off social media or your number. One tap on the button and done. Like wtf?
I miss the old days, call me old fashion but I don't remember being like this back then. Back then it was a HUGE insult even breaking up over text, everyone would curse at that person. Now it's the norm, you're lucky if you get a text at least.
@little_bird1 It's this lazy, selfish mentality people have now.
People are too afraid of confrontation and accepting responsibility for their actions. So they hide behind their phones and computers instead! "I don't want to deal with her drama. I'm going to ghost her instead... she'll get the hint! Smh. I wish there were consequences for doing that to someone.
I remember last year this guy I liked gave me a breakup... OVER TEXT. The ultimate insult 🤦♀️ And people wonder why I'm so cynical? People made me that way!
@Cynicaldreamer Well, my most recent ex gave me a breakup by GHOSTING me. So yeah, I feel ya.
@little_bird1 Are you serious?
Jerk. You dodged a bullet if he's that way. Still, sorry that happened.
Opinion
42Opinion
I think it's nicer to let someone down gently than to just ignore them. Now if you've nicely rejected them and they still don't get it or still won't give up, then that's when I'll just ignore.
@Brainsbeforebeauty yea totally. It seems fair to ignore someone if they don't give up after rejecting them. Hypothetically, I would be increasingly direct and less friendly. (like the way I rejected @MelissaFlori's 3 spammy comments ;)
Lol right
This is a really good question. I actually voted B, simply because if you ignore me then I already know where you stand so I don't need to bother approaching you and get rejected.
Thanks!
It's sad how this is even a question.
I go for rejection, every time. Simple, kind and direct. Ignoring someone or someone's humble advances just shows lack of respect. By ignoring you are leading them on, emotionally abusing them and giving them false hope. You are also wasting their time. How can anyone know what you're thinking about if your not vocal about it? Haven't people learned that ignoring is rude? It's a general discipline. I applaud parents who didn't teach their children this. This world would be a better place if people simply knew how to communicate.
It is sad that this is even a question..
Mmm going back to the days I actually gave a crap I would not mind either because either way you know it's clear. But rejection is best. Did it happen? Of course not just constant stringing along which I don't fucking have patience for. So all that happened is I ended up making the decision for them! They got a month And if I end up making the decision for them, their loss don't be expecting any kind of relationship of any format later coz I lost all respect for them the minute they thought wasting my time was acceptable behavior.
This guy kept intermittently ignoring me. Like sometimes he'd talk to me, snap me once a day, annoying. I got fed up because I'm someone who would rather just know what's up and then I can deal with it. So I asked what he wanted, basically got rejected, that was fine, at least I knew. Now he's back to his dumb snap me once a day games, and normally I'd just strategically ignore the boy at this point until they give up, but I don't know I'm struggling to make myself do that with him.
Sounds like he might be playing games with you. It's theoretically possible to make a woman want you by pushing them away. It seems like an awful thing to do to someone.
Or he doesn't know what he wants. Or he regrets rejecting you. Maybe when you asked straight up he panicked from the directness and pressure of making the decision in that moment.
Yea. That seems more likely than playing stupid push-and-pull games
We're freshmen in college (my age on here isn't right). He mentioned that when I asked him, wrote out some explanation. "it's freshman year and I'm not ready for commitment and won't be for a long time, if that's what you're asking, blah blah so let's just be friends." Like he just wants to be a freshman guy and hoe around and that's fine, but I don't understand why he keeps playing games with me if he doesn't even want anything out of it. (he definitely was not trying to be just friends over the first couple months we knew each other). I tried. It's his turn to actually try if he wants something, but I guess not.
I don't care. If they reject me, that's fine, and I move on. Does it hurt? Sure, but it's nothing to become bitter about.
Ignored? I wouldn't talk or approach in the first place so I don't care. I'm excellent at ignoring people back so it truly doesn't matter.
Yeah I've been ignored before i guess (fade out) and at first it made me so ridiculously angry. It was insane and i after wards realized it was kinda unjustified to be that mad. People have a right to not be forced to talk to someone and i dont know why he chose to fade away. I have had to ignroe people as well whether in dating or other situations and i did not want them to be angry at me for it. There could be so many reasons someone ignores someone else so i dont wanna judge and get angry about it anymore. And we have the right to avoid someone. Who knows maybe someone is scared or highly uncomfortable with talking to you and you can't see why that would be... But respect their wishes. Ignoring can be seen as rejection. So its the same thing.
Being strung along not knowing where y'all stand would be AWFUL. Rather just be rejected than to be ignored so I'm not wasting my time waiting around for someone that I don't have any chances of being with.
Yea you're right. It is
I prefer to be gently rejected. It takes courage to approach someone an respect to clearly and in a kind way let the person go.
I so agree. Gentle rejection all the way lol
rejected because at least it’s more straightforward. If I’m just being ignored, that makes it even worse bc I would just be assuming things and would never know the truth
is there a difference? In both cases you are not getting the interaction you hope for.
Rejected is "we don't match"
Ignored is "you're not worth my time"
You can't fault someone for not being interested, but you can fault them for being disrespectful by ignoring you. It also leaves no room to move beyond the rejection, for example to friendship if appropriate to the situation (I usually try to be friends, as there was something about that person that I like in the first place). If they just ignore then it's difficult to keep respecting them.
yeah, you're right. Ignoring someone is devoid of all human decency.
I feel like being ignored is rejection lmao. They’re both pretty bad
It might be, but you don't know for sure. And there's no way to move beyond the rejection. Maybe you would have become friends.
Ignored, being ignored is jus saying you dont like mr without an insult,
But rejection is when they let you know they dont like you, combined with an insult, like “go away creep”
If rather jus be told to go away without verbally telling it and no following insult
Treat people how you want to be treated. Be polite yet direct. Say “thanks for reaching out to me but out of respect I’m going to be honest, I’m not interested.” Leave at that. 95 percent of people will get the message. For the other 5 percent you can rude if you have to. But always give everybody one chance.
I think being ignored is being rejected, at least for a woman.
@TacosRAwesome what do you mean "for a woman"? As in, when a woman is ignored or ignores?
Do women get ignored often?
It's better to shut your mind from his/her thoughts than constantly lingering for his/her answer and lowering your self respect even more
Both are vary bad to go through. it's heart breaking. :(
@MelissaFlori Previous comment seemed like a good example, but maybe you actually are a scammer?
Def ignored. Cuz I myself do not have what it takes to reject somebody. I've never rejected anyone so that'd hurt me ten fold.
PS. I know I'm terrible but ignorance is really a bliss.
@anon1903 like this:
Hey, you wanna go for a drink? I'd like to get to know you.
"Sorry.. You really like a really sweet guy, though. I'm sure you'll find someone :)"
If there's something in particular that you found to be offputting about a particular guy, you could tell him what it is and that would help him for next time.
(For example, see my responses to @MelissaFlori's spammy comments lol (which I think are trying to make a point)
I think I'd stick to ignorance.
woah you know her? dude.
Hell of a question. Seriously telling in terms of deep personality psychology I would imagine. That being said I would personally rather be rejected if I couldnt use a loophole like lying to myself and saying I wasn't ignored they didn't see me or recognize me or blah blah blah.
Rejected. I don’t even need an explanation. Just say ur not interested.
Rejected, takes two secs to tell someone you aren't interested and it saves a lot of drama/hassle
I’d much rather know that I’m not what they’re looking for than be ignored
Rejected, better know its over, even if it hurts, then not knowing and imagining the worst possible that hurts much more
Rejected. Closure and certainty are highly preferable to confusion and doubt.
@MelissaFlori Are you trying to make a point or are you spamming? I reject your spam :)
Rejected for sure. Being ignored is horrible and doesn’t bring any type of closure. Kindness and honesty is best
It eases things out right away rather than wasting time and efforts and much awaited misconceptions
Rejected, that way I know if I should keep trying or nah, I don't like to waste my time
Rejected because I don’t want my feelings to be led on thinking I still have a chance (in a relationship) wise so I’d rather honesty
Rejection by far. It basically tells me to abandon all hope to win that person over. Ignoring can come across as accidental or they were just busy little do you know you are just wasting your time.
i would rather be rejected because at least then i can move in from liking that person
REJECTED...
I won't say anything else...
i definitely won't say anything even if someone commented on my post...
I definitely won't...
Let's bet real here, being ignored can give you a hint and well you just move on with the next person
But being rejected by someone you like is like putting your face through a chainsaw
Rejection is giving concrete information, it's the respectable way. Ignoring is for cowards who can't do the bare minimum.
Rejected, but the thing is that many people won't reject you straight away.
So if it hasn't been a clear "yes" it's safe to asume a clear "no".
I would rather have neither done to me.. I rather them tell me they aren't interested to my face... but that's what rejection is LoL 😂🤣.
I'd rather be rejected. At least I know if he is not interested.
Are you looking for immediate answers? Sometimes people are busy and you jumping to conclusions its one or the other you completely lose your chances
rejected.
be upfront. no need for game playing. and if anything you doing me/person a favor in the end.
When you get the reject button, you know to move on. The slow roll is just cruelty in motion. You are better than that and the person you were pursuing isn't worthy of you.
Rejected, i literally HATE being ignored its to me horrible and cruel.
I'd rather be rejected than ignored. At least I know that they're not interested and I tried
I'd rather be rejected so then I know I can move on with my life, instead of questioning weather or not there's still a chance.
I'd rather be acknowledged and rejected than ignored, that's just rude
Rejected for sure! Then there is no doubt, no lingering what if’s; they’re just not into me
I don't mind either of it. I don't care about that also.
I'd rather be rejected. There's no uncertainty, no messing about, and it allows both of us to move on. Being ignored is just plain disrespectful...
Simples...
Rejected. If they reject me then I will know where i stand.
I'd rather be ignored
Why would you rather be ignored?
It avoids an awkward obvious statement/talk/bs
I find that ignoring makes things a lot more awkward. I can easily move past being rejected, but there's no way to move past being ignored. Any chance of friendship or normal communication is gone
That's interesting. I suppose it's a selfish, non confrontational thing from my part then. I've ghosted a lot of guys maybe after a few messages or 1 date and they kept contacting me which I ignored. I just didn't have the heart to say 'I just don't like you.. even as a friend..'
Rejected because you're still getting attention by someone else, ignore is worst because no one is even interacting LOL
I've been on both ends, but I'm going against popular opinion here and I'm going to say ignored. While deafening, the message is clear.
don't waste each other time just reject straight, better than leaving the person hanging
Rejected. You know where they stand and rejection is acknowledgement and respect on one form.
I would definitely like a definite answer. Cause that would make things simple and my mind would just have to accept it. No in-between
Ignored. If I get ignored then I’m not wanted by that person at all. Being rejected makes me feel not welcome in this world at all
I can endure rejection, but being ignored makes me feel like the person thinks I am not even worth the breath it takes to say no.
Being ignored is easier for me to deal with than rejection, i'm used to being ignored; i've kinda built up an resistance to it
Rejected as i have faced that
@Teeshawithwings Interesting! You haven't been ignored? Consider yourself lucky, it's horrible. Makes ya feel completely worthless
I'd rather know than not know. Being ignored could bring some mix messages.
Ignored! I must try harder! Rejection is sensitive must continue without receiving a restraining order.
What's the difference?
Hi @MelissaFlori, You're probably a lovely lady, but the way you're writing is offputting. Be more real
Also, where does that link go? Lots of scammers put links like that in messages
Rejected is "We don't match"
Ignored is "You're not worth my time"
@loveslongnails (not sure if you'll be notified if I don't tag you)
Rejected is "We don't match"
Ignored is "You're not worth my time"
So the only difference is that one gives you an actual "response", which is negative, and the other gives you "no response", which is also negative. Something screams out to me that the bottom line is the same. "We don't match" is just 3 words beyond no words at all.
@loveslongnails the thing is that getting a negative response doesn't you wondering. It's also not disrespectful. Well, it can be depending on what they say I suppose, but my experience is overwhelmingly that women are kind about rejecting me, and I don't even skip a beat anymore. I usually try to befriend them next.
You might find it comforting if the rejection is put "nicely", but what if it isn't? What if the words are "Us a match... are you kidding? I don't even know why I'm wasting my breath talking to you". Also, what if the woman doesn't "like" rejecting people, even with nice words, and thinks of it as confrontation she wants to avoid? So, she just doesn't respond and figures "he'll get the idea and I won't have to say anything". I can agree it's better to hear "we're really not a match" if there's some mutual respect and it's genuine.
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