Boyfriend never cooks for me?

[Anonymous]

He's a great cook and even taught me some things. But he NEVER cooks for me. He pays for all the groceries and everything at the apartment we live at so even if I buy the groceries for a meal, he still feels like I should cook and clean up because he pays for the apartment. His way of giving to me is to take us out to eat and let me choose where we go. Is this fair?

[MimosasAfterChurch]

It's how it's starts, if you don't start straight talking to him now, it will not take long before the rest crashes down. You have to be very honest and come to an agreement. Say: what about one of us cooks and the other cleans? Pick one, I need help around here buddy. Don't jump into conclusions, before asking, you'd be surprised and how well men respond to their women when a question is shot straight to the point without emotions, drama or guilt trips.
If he pulls the "I put the money, you do the work" just say this: This is not a mechanic shop where you bring your car, they do the work and you pay them money. it's a relationship and we both have to put the labor to make this work.

[BrianMerritt]

Yeah, but housing and food is a huge amount of slack. For her to housekeep is a sweet deal. If she does not want to housekeep, then she should pay rent or something else.

[MimosasAfterChurch]

I agree, she's not a princess that he should bow to, but neither he be the kind of guy to have a woman that uses as a maid.
In reality and having been married before, I've seen the only way long marriages work is when both have each other's back, regardless of who brings the bacon or how much bacon each brings. In many different ways both need to come to agreements and work together as a team. The same as when they have kids, not because she carried the kid for 9 months means he should change all the diapers and make all the baby bottles.
Most happily married guy friends cook for the kids on the weekend and vacuum while she mops, etc. that doesn't take his man card away and women feel more sexually attracted to a husband that cooks, cleans and fixes things around the house. It's what I've seen and my married woman-friends comment about my buddies.

[BrianMerritt]

YES it is fair. If he pays for the apartment and the groceries than he is doing more than his fair share. He doesn't want to take care of you like a child. Show him that you can contribute. Pick up some of the slack. Tell him "hey I feel like I should contribute more, I would like to help with A B C."

[ciitruskiwi]

Yeah. It's not like he's doing nothing. He's doing his share and putting his effort into the relationship. He shouldn't have to cook for you.

[Brockers]

Yes, if you think it's unfair pay for the apartment and let him pay for the groceries and do dinner

[Deggers]

Sounds like ya boi might have some sexist views lmao. You should probably talk to him and ask if he calls you his bitch in front of his friends. Good luck

[тЯsH_9669]

Maybe he just doesn't like to do it?