My boyfriend chose me over another girl but I'm worried he still likes her. Should I confront him?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend recently started dating (about two weeks as of now), but we talked for most of the summer. Right before we became exclusive tho he went out with a different girl that he supposedly had had his eyes on before. I found out from my friends that he had been seeing her and seemed really into her, and so I told him he had to choose. He chose me, saying that the other girl didn't have as much in common, but he still likes all of her insta pics and kind of stares and acts a little different whenever he sees her. Like I'm all good with him being friendly to her but should I confront him? Is this normal?

[Canuck37]

All people will have other people in their lives that they are naturally attracted to. You chose your boyfriend over other guys for a reason, I'm sure; and he chose you over other girls for a reason as well.

But even if he loves you 100%, there will always be another girl who was second place in his heart, whether that second place is 95% or 1%. People who are similar will often experience attraction between them. He obviously had attraction to this other girl if he had to choose between you two, and he's not going to stop being attracted to her just because he chose you. Every single guy in life is going to experience attraction at various points in their lives to many different girls.

However, him being attracted to her does not mean he has to behave in a way that makes you uncomfortable. He did choose to become exclusive with you, and there are certain expectations to that. You're just going to have to tolerate the fact that he thinks she is beautiful; don't try to control that, just let it be, and be confident in the fact that he thought you were worth more to him than her beauty. On the other hand, he needs to behave in a way such that remains faithful to you.

What that looks like depends on you. Stares? He can't control the stares, because he's a guy, so just remind him that he's staring when you catch him and move along. Instagram likes? I kinda think Instagram likes are okay, though if it's hurting you, you should share that with him. Talking to her, developing an emotional relationship with her, those are things that are not okay. If he does that, you're well within your rights to call him out on it.

In short: call him out on deliberate behaviours towards her. Unconscious behaviours (like staring), let those go. And don't try to control what he likes and doesn't like; remember, he chose you over her, and let that comfort you.

[Anonymous]

He still chose you over her, but that doesn't mean he is not physically attracted to her. It sucks but it's true

[Zk15224]

This is normal, people don't just drop feelings