He keeps pressuring me to take my clothes off on video chat?

[Anonymous]

We've been talking for about two weeks & I'm just not comfortable with the idea. Every time we video chat he insists on it & we literally argue about it for the majority of our conversation. I think it's way too early for that & I have a strong feeling that once I do he will stop being interested (because he would have gotten what he wanted). He never wants to take no for an answer and whenever I decline he's like "You're such a buzz kill. You're so stubborn." Then he said something that really irritated me which was "You're my girlfriend so it's my right." I was really annoyed with that statement because it's my body & I can show it to whoever I want or not show it. It should be my choice. Not to mention that I send him pictures all the time with my face cropped out. What's the difference between him seeing it in a picture versus on video? Am I overreacting? What are his intentions? Thanks everyone

[BigRayFromNC]

It does not make sense you send him nude photos but you will not let him see you nude on a video chat. Remember photos are considered a still shot and there is no actions but in a video everything is happening real time and there is a difference.

The next time he ask you to take off your clothes on a video chat and surprise him and take your bra off then squeeze both of your Tits together and say to him "Do you want to suck on and then fuck them"?

You have nothing to lose.

[Asker]

But that's the point. I NEVER took naked pictures and I never will. I also refuse to do it on video because girls have a lot more to offer than just the way look & our bodies. That's always the way I viewed it and I would never change my morals for someone. Especially he can pretty much do anything he wants with them & I'm not putting myself in that position

[OlderAndWiser]

You are irritated that he wants to see you naked on video but you have sent him nude pictures of yourself and you have only known him online for two weeks! Do you think you have contributed to his expectations?

Yes, his attitude blows. Is this the kind of guy who you want to get in bed with? What will be expect then? Do you want to take him home to meet mom and dad? Tell him goodbye.

[Asker]

I never sent him any nudes. I sent pictures in dresses & bathing suits. I have never nor will I ever send naked pictures of myself to anyone.

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay. I'm glad to hear that!

[Asker]

I talked to him about it last night and he simmered down about his requests :)

[Anonymous]

For goodness sake tell him to naff off. He will no doubt save them, and maybe pass them round. He may even be looking to try and blackmail you. I do not know what you used to take the photos with, but you should stop sending them now. Certainly do not video chat naked. He will screen grab it all quite easily!

Read what my brother wrote:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27899-nude-photos-are-bad-why-geo-tagging-is-even-worse

[Asker]

I have no intention of video chatting while naked and all the pictures I sent were in a bathing suit

[Opinion Owner]

That is good!

[thedancingcookie20]

Why are you still with him? You've only talked to him for two weeks and he already causing arguments over you not taking your clothes off on video? You already told him no and he still has a bad attitude about it. Thats a red flag. Stop entertaining him by continuing to talk to him and be around after all that unnecessary pressure to do something you don't wanna do. Have some self-respect and ditch his ass.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Uh, I'm not trying to be a dick, but he's an online guy you've known for TWO weeks. Are you shocked?

I barely consider you two a legitimate couple with such little time having passed. My advice? Take off now. You can clearly see what he wants you for and he's an asshole on top of that.

[Anon-ymous1]

He wants you. Simple.

A guy is allowed to want/ask for pics and vids of his girlfriend. A girl is also allowed to say "no" if she doesn't want to do it. We then are also allowed to be no longer into you if we don't get what we want, the same as you're allowed that if you don't get what you want from us. Is he maybe being a bit too aggressive about it? Yeah but that's testosterone for you. Relationships are about give and take and meeting in the middle. Do whatever you think is right. Just don't expect him to be into you any more if he doesn't get what he wants, same as you.

[PandaMania]

I don't even have to read the entire thing... No means no. If he can't accept that and keeps pressuring you, tell him to fuck off with that noise.

You have no obligation here. Pic or video... he probably wants it for a way to say "look at "my" girl"...

He seems like a typical horny, toxic individual that pressures people into doing what they are not comfortable doing.

My roommate even agreed. He's toxic, and you should stay away from him if he cab take no or let you "progress" at your own pace.

[Anonymous]

This is not love arguing with you
it's more exploitation
and even SOP for him with other gals, so GO FIND OTHER GALS, PAL

All YOUR fault comes from a liar that thinks only of self
+
not satisfied with face-out nudes = never satisfied + all this friends don't believe his ego brags these nudes are YOU

Videos are much more demeaning to you and more sexually stimulating to him, more like porn and you are supposed to be his porn "star", perhaps even to share/trade w/others

If sharing, one day a nice guy that viewed you nude might take you on a date in order to have sex with his new obsession, like it or not... can be very unpleasant

[Asker]

I never sent him nudes but I did send pictures wearing bathing suits. They were never enough for him. He has mentioned the porn thing before and asked if I watch it (I personally don't). He keeps pushing me on the subject and it's getting harder to maintain no because I do actually like him & don't wanna upset him. Either way I feel like a loser because if I agree then it means I went against my own morals just to please him :( I can't win either way

[Opinion Owner]

Winning in this case would be to
stop investing more time in failures with this guy
start investing time in shopping for The One that could love you someday w/o all this pressure - there's plenty of choices out there, if you'll lose this scarecrow on your arm

[unicornKween]

You aren't overreacting.
In all honesty, this would've been something I'd threaten with. He doesn't have half a right to force you into doing something you're uncomfortable with. Talk to him about how you feel AND ask him why he's so insistent and persistent and tell him that if he doesn't figure it out you'll break up with him.

If that's all he wants from you then he's not the one boo...

[spuddi43]

Don't do anything you are uncomfortable doing. And if he persists stop talking to him

[Asker]

Thank you for saying that :) I thought I was overreacting

[spuddi43]

You're not. You gotta look out for yourself.

[SkryBav]

I think you should tease him over some weeks. First few days, stay completely dressed, but with a sexy dress. Then after some weeks, show him hotter dresses, than after more time show him your underwear and so on.

[Asker]

Yeah, that's what be been doing :) I always wear dresses that are really form fitting and he seems to appreciate them but he still won't drop the subject of undressing. It's irritating because he doesn't seem to understand that it's still so early in the relationship & I'm naturally a very shy girl. Why is he doing that?

[SkryBav]

I can't see the text behind 'shy' but I want to see 'my girl' naked after some time. It's really nice for us.

[Asker]

I can understand why guys want pictures like that but girls are reluctant because we still don't know if the guy will use them against us if things go south in the relationship

[Jo1991]

No you're not overreacting. Seriously just cos someone is your girlfriend you don't have the right to demand anything. Hell even if you were his wife he can't demand things from you. It's been 2 weeks. Tell him to fuck off seriously cos if you pursue a long term relationship with someone like this then those demands may very quickly turn into violence when he doesn't get his way

[genericname85]

"what are his intentions" ? he wants to see you naked and beats off to your naked body. isn´t that obvious? XD i can understand if you don´t want this. just tell him it´s not gonna happen and if he keeps bothering you with it, block him and never talk to him again.

[Shreyash108]

Hey... If you find him so disgusting (so do i) then why are you still talking to him!
Why do you want to be with a person who you are not comfortable with... and it has been just two weeks right? You can move on easily i guess if you haven't fallen!!

[Asker]

I'm with him because there are moments when he is very sweet & thoughtful. We have a lot in common and I think I already have feelings for him. It's just difficult knowing that I might have to let him go if he doesn't stop pressuring me into doing things I don't wanna do

[Shreyash108]

Then may be, be a bit strict and deny him for videos ! Tell him that you are uncomfortable with this...
If he is a nice guy he will surely understand it if not then may be he is not the one!!!
If there is any part of you that thinks of him as your future then ask him!!
Take care!

[Anonymous]

Do only what you feel comfortable with and never allow to be forced in anything you dont want to do.

You can nicely deny his request. If he persists, talk with him and explain you dont feel comfortable with it and he should respect that.

I think he is just trying to get what he wants , doesn't know how to take no for answer. But that doesn't mean you should do what he wants. He will have to deal with the fact that you are not his toy.

[Jennifer398]

If he is into you as a person he will not try to pressure you into anything. Drop him. And don't let him pressure you into anything

[Asker]

Thank you so much :) it's a little upsetting because first we used to talk about personal things & suddenly a shift happened where he only wants to pressure me into taking pictures/videos etc.

[Jennifer398]

Stay strong. You will find a good one.

[Madelion]

Leave that territorial dishrag. If he loved you, he would respect your personal opinions and needs, and he wouldn't goad you into taking off your clothes for him. I know you might like him, but I think the best idea is to dump him and move on to someone else who will treat you better. It sounds to me he just wants to get in your pants.

[sawno]

Getting some red flags from this. Dont ever do it, i dont trust this guy not to record it.

[Asker]

Please explain the red flags from a guy's perspective. I also have a strange feeling but I'm not sure where it's stemming from

[sawno]

Not a guys perspective but the perspective of an internet geek. If someone is that pushy to get you to do what he wants i see it within his capabilities to record you and use those recordings as blackmail to push you further and further.

[Asker]

I know. I confided in him about things my parents don't know and so I feel like he's trying to make the list bigger and bigger so he has something against me. He sees my parents on a regular basis because they work in the same company. But he also makes me happy and has very sweet moments so I'm very torn

[sawno]

Doesn't sound like you genuinely love him though

[Asker]

Well it has only been two weeks & I don't fall in love that quickly but I have feelings for him

[sawno]

All ill say about this is that feelings only have the meaning you give them

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[es20490446e]

I would simply say "sorry, I'm not confortable with that". And from that on no longer follow that conversation.

[Asker]

I told him literally that. I was like "I'm sorry. I'm just not comfortable with that" and he was like "You've already sent me pictures so what's the issue?" The difference is that my face wasn't in any of them and obviously in a video I wouldn't be able to hide that

[es20490446e]

From that point on I would simply not reply.

[Robbyboys]

Videos are 10 million times better because it's moving. But If it's making you feel uncomfortable tell him that and if he keeps pressuring you tell him you'll cease communication.

[Asker]

If I say that will he stop talking to me altogether? I know it's a strange thing to worry about but I like him a lot & don't want him completely out of the picture :(

[Robbyboys]

Just talk to him maybe he'll be reasonable

[Twinrova]

Stop talking to him. Also, just remember that when you finally do it; he was recording, and he has that footage of you forever.

[HamAndCheese]

This guy sounds toxic. Dump him. It's not his right. He shouldn't be trying to pressure you into doing this.

[AvgCdnJoe]

He sounds like a creep. I'd ditch him. He has no respect for you at all. You're just a toy to him.

[TXKen]

Definitely don't do it! Why are you dating such a scum bag? Dump him.

[Pickle_Nicks]

Dont do anything you're not comfortable with. Nothing disappears once its shared online.

[Asker]

Yeah, that's true & I will firmly put my foot down

[Elizabeth12345]

Don't do it! He might record it. Talk to him about it and if he doesn't take it well and keeps asking you stop talking to him.

[LumiLithoniel]

Only two weeks? You started dating after two weeks? You ever met each other? If not, DO NOT DO IT.

[Asker]

We met once before but that's it. I definitely WILL NOT do it

[LumiLithoniel]

Good. If he's seeming like he's forcing you, there is no doubt he'll upload it. If you need to talk about it you can DM me, I've had the same sort of issue with a girl

[scooogy]

He's a jerk. Poo in your pants and then just go ahead and wait for his reaction.

[rocksongwriter]

And you're talking to him because?

[Samantha2448]

Break up with him he's using you

[Anonymous]

He only wants you for ur body