My ex boyfriend said he will wait for me as long as it takes, is it right for me to let him?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex recently ended it, we had a lot of incompatibility issues and while we still have feelings with one another, I said we need to go our separate ways. We are in different places in life and I can’t let him wait for me to catch up to him.

He called me to tell me that he is choosing to wait for me because he can’t live without me and that he will change and he knows he can’t move on with another new girl because he knows I’m the one and will wait for me when the time is right.

I said that he needs to show me that he’s going to wait, show me he has improved and changed, if he really thinks I’m worth it.

Was it right to give him a little hope?

[Felicia5567]

How old are you guys? I mean if you were married for 25 years and had built a life together, maybe it'd make sense. If you're like 20 and haven't had a lot of experience, then get out there and meet someone new you're compatible with.
I think you're wasting his time unless you're sure you'd be able to get back together with him. If he spends a year working on himself and then you reject him again, that's just way more cruel. Go your separate ways, do your own things, if life brings you together again, so be it, if not, there's enough other people out there that will make you way happier.

[Little-Me_]

No I dont think it was right to give him a little hope what if he does what you asked and in the end you end up with someone else or you still dont want to be with him
it is going to hurt him even more

[Anonymous]

No. You were not right. It's always a bad idea to give hope to someone you ended things with.

[DiegoO]

It's similar to what I am living, just that it was due to distance, and a lock of opportunity to see each other.

"The two of we are studying and don't have a job", so.. After 3 years it wasn't funny, I felt I was living in a screen and she felt the same. Since we didn't break for nothing else I told her I would do what's necessary to be with her and that I am not interested in been with any other woman. I truly don't know how things are gonna work out but she agree with the decision I took and wile she still agree with it I'll keep my word.

[OlderAndWiser]

He does not need your permission to wait for you. However, if you have given him a reason to think that you may have a future together when you actually believe that will never happen, then what you have done is thoughtless and cruel.

[Vuxlum]

I'm going through the same situation as you are. Except I'm on the other side of the boat just as your ex. And that's what my ex was doing to me giving me hope. I decided to move on even though it's really really hard for me to. If you actually don't plan on getting back with him don't give him hope. Because that hope hurts so much not knowing wether you are going to get back with them. Tell him the truth on how you feel and tell him if you don't want to continue the communication. I've decided to do that with my ex a couple days ago. I wish you all the luck and just be honest.

[virgingentleman11]

Hope is a great thing, but if it's a hope with little to no chance to ever end in his favor, the it's worse than dying. You have to be honest with yourself first. If he has a chance, in the ballpark of 40%+, then continue to give him hope, but if things are pretty bad, tell him it's over.

[gibbi1989]

No. If there is no hope then you need to cut him off for good. Speaking from experience, if a guy is truly in love with you but you can't see a future with him, you will do more harm than good. If you do love him and can see a future with him then you need to get back with him NOW. If you feel like you need to catch up to him then let him help you

[Boxasaurus]

No. It's time to move on. Break ups are hard, but what's done is done. He won't change even if he says he will, even if he wants to... not in a way that's automatically compatible at least. End things with him for real and cut ties.

[yosecretsquirrel]

Wait.. you need to catch up to him but he needs to change and improve? He is a fool if he thinks it's ever going to work, unless maybe you change and improve.

[crwalker]

If you think you might get back with him if he does change, I think your okay to do this. But if you’ve made up your mind no matter what you won’t get back with him, tell him, don’t lead him on.

[Pegases]

It was right to give him a little hope if you yourself are also hopeful. If you're not hopeful however, then you're simply leading him on.

[dandaman62]

Only if you are truly serious. Changing for someone else is a tricky business.

[Intraluminal]

If you're telling the truth, and there is hope, then yes.

[Lazeez]

you should also be changed for him , i hope you have agood plan... the life and years are running. good luck

[thinkaloudtolive]

If you don't want to be with him now, it's not right for you to ask him to wait for later.

[Iamaguy4real]

Don't give him hope, let him move on.

[Crankor]

That's never a good idea.

[Anon-ymous1]

"We are in different places." What does that mean?

[AshutoshJ]

Yes love him dear