Hey, would you date/marry a person with kids from a previous relationship?
Hey, would you date/marry a person with kids from a previous relationship?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It would depend on the age of the woman and the kids. Certainly date but maybe less likely to committ long term or to marry. There are many things to consider on the subject such as her ex and father of her kids? Is her ex an unreasonable douche or a decent guy? Is the ex still around? Why did she and the ex break up, did he cheat or did She? Will I be finacially supporting her and those kids? Will I be taking over the role of father and do the kids want that? Will she be willing to have my kids? What does she bring to a relationship? Do I find her attractive? Will she be available sexually and emotionally having kids? Obviously there's more key questions a guy needs to ask before he jumps in but I can't think of them. Taking on a single mom and kids can be a big responsibility and a guy can end up the worse for it, maybe after a few years of raising and supporting her and the kids a guy may find in the divorce he has no parental legal rights to kids that are not his biologically but still he has the legal financial obligation of a parent.
"Can Family Courts Enforce Child Support for Non-Biological Parents?
Family courts can order a non-biological parent to pay child support if he is a presumed or equitable father. A child support order must focus on the best interests of the child and your state’s child support guidelines. If you have financially and emotionally supported a child for years, it will be difficult to avoid child support payments. However, you may also have significant custody rights. Do not assume that you are ineligible for custody or visitation simply because you are a non-biological father. "
@Krumpir often custody or visitation laws are not enforced. The mom quiets down for a while after the court rules but then a few months later uses the kids to spite the father, even making false allegations of abuse or violence.
I'm 32 and struggle with this one. There are soo many factors that play into it. I would not walk into a relationship knowing he has kids already. 1. I want having a kid to be a first time experience for both of us. 2. if he has a kid and it does not work out, the attachment to him is hard enough to break without having to break the attachment to the kid as well. 3. I don't want to accept a 3rd person in the relationship. (No doubt you have to deal with that kids other parent).
I'd be more willing to accept the fact that he had a kid, if chemistry was established before knowing he had one. It's just harder being my age and dating because chances are they are going to already have a kid or kids.
mmm I'm not sure, I did have a crush on a guy who did have kids long time ago though. But baby mama drama ruined that, and you don't want to be that woman who is secretly hated by the kids and mom cause it's like a stranger crashing your party that you didn't invite.
At my age, whether she has children from a prior relationship is not a question. The real question is whether the kids are grown and no longer living with mom.
When I was younger I always said no but as I'm getting older more and more of my potential partners have children so it is definitely not a deal breaker but I would prefer a women who doesn't have any children as we could just focus on us and never have to worry about the financial burden that accompanies children. P. s. at this point in my life I no longer desire to have kids of my own.
No. I don't want kids and that would be a dealbreaker for me. I guess if the kids were old enough, maybe 14+ I could maybe overlook it as they'd be starting to become more independent
Depends on the person and the situation. I think I would if I knew he was really over the girl who had the kids cuz my biggest fear would be them getting back together
Not at this point in my life. I've tried it before. But single moms never have any time to date. I get that the kids come first, but it's not conducive to getting to know someone either.
I am not sure. To be honest pregnancy kinda scares me so there are some positives in getting a kid without the work. But the real mum needs to out the picture in one way of another.
At this point of my live I don't think I'd date anyone without kids because they don't know what it's like to be a parent and are probably a bit spoiled by being without kids for so long.
Look at it this way. I have a child in high school. When I was first divorced he was younger, obviously. Many men I meant online would not go out with me because they didn't want a woman with kids. They're still living the single life, going out on weeknights and doing whatever they want on the weekend. they have expensive hobbies, they have ambitious career skulls and they're in fantastic shape because they spend so much time at the gym.
meanwhile I'm overweight, overstressed, just trying to keep it together and keep my boss happy and take care of my kid and take care of my house and get my car fixed and do all the stuff that two parents normally do, while dealing with a huge load of MOM GUILT.
My point is that they would try to give me a career advice on how to better myself and I'm like, "Look, I have to stay in this job so I can stay in this house in this school system for my son. I can't go to graduate school at night because I'm exhausted and I need to be there for my kid. I'm gone from 7 in the morning until 7 at night, and I need to be a parent for at least a couple hours before he goes to bed."
Working dads understand that a whole lot better, even if they don't have primary custody.
Which isn't to say that there aren't some guys without kids who would be very supportive of a working mom, but I just haven't met any.
Well technically, those that live life as you described at 35 will do the same at 45... About hobbies; look at me: I am saving for my first car. If I had money before, I'd have 10 of them right now. It's just as it is, and I doubt I will ever change. But there is difference between being idiot and knowing that some life stuff is more important than hobbies.
You shouldn't feel mom guilt. You should be proud. Pushing your kid in the world on the best way you can. So what if you are overweight? Neither forst nor last one. Don't feel the guilt! And have a nice day ;)
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