Why is being single looked down upon?

Question

#single #LoveYourself #pd

The1Guy · Accepted Answer

Today being single is a choice. A choice people didn't have in earlyer generations.

Considering all the problems asocuated with dating, it might even apoear to be the best choice for an individual.

However it is not the best thing for the community that this individual is a part of.

If it's a woman, she is a danger to other women, who seek to establish a family. She could lead away her man. The single woman is also free to act on her sexual frustration in many other harmful ways on the community. She has no real concept of cairong because she has not experienced it witj herchildren and can't there fore extend real kindness toward others. It's fine while shee is young but the older she gets, the problem also grows in size.

For a man it is very similar. Being single and not taking responsibility for his mate and the children they raise together renders him careless and very much useless in the community life, where you need dependable people. Also prone to messing things up for other families, he lives a purpouseless life engaging in random hobbies to fill the void where the pleasure of helping others and the feeling of being a part of something should be.

People might not be able to articulate this but thats how we naturally feel toward outsiders. It's in our survival instinct since for hundreds of thousands of years we depended on each other for sourvival living in small, close knit communuties for most of the hystory of our species.

Even when survival became much easier, the family was a team unit where we would help each other achieve other things, like wealth and power etc.

Only recently we started to ask this question, why not just be single? Because only now we are in a state where it seems that we can actually achieve more if we go at it alone. But can we?

In my opinion - no. Today we are on the edge of new discoveries in almost every field. We are fast approaching technological singularity, quantum computing is on it's way, we are rethinking work and education, reevaluating societal paradigms. New things are coming, but if we think they are coming to free us individually, we are still thinking in an old fashioned way.

My feeling is that this kind of thinking in fact is stopping all progress. With a team we can do things we cannot do on our own. The chalenges of the 21st century are hudge and they simply dwarf all individual efforts to change.

And one of the biggest challenges and areas of growth is finding meaning to connect.

Arabian911 · Accepted Answer

tell me about it..

This is what happens every time i go with my married friends, their wives give me the look as if i was a lost puppy, and the guys give me the lucky look.

and when i say i chose to be single because i do suck in any relationship, they all stare at me.

Pink934 · Accepted Answer

I think this is just a narrow-minded (but sadly, commonly adopted opinion) in society.

People forget to take into consideration that perhaps some people haven't been fortunate enough to meet a compatible partner. Some people have had a rather tough time and are still aiming to recover from their past before entering into a new relationship. Perhaps some people are career driven or trying to tie down a job/get themselves through a university degree.

It's very annoying, and the societal judgements and expectations don't help whatsoever. It's hard not to feel down when under all that pressure.

At the end of the day yes relationships are great, but only when you're with the right person/the circumstances are right for you. I wish people would stop being so tied up in their own little lives and bear these things in mind.

annie616pop · Accepted Answer

"Being looked down upon"?
OK, no doubt that "having" a a boyfriend or girlfriend is a social or cultural expectation. Is it a realistic expectation though? Absolutely not. People drift in and out of relationships as a normal course of life. Family and kin are possible exceptions to this if they are supportive of you as an individual... in other words they support you whether you are hooked up or not. The only big deal about this expectation is how it affects your self-esteem. If you feel “bad” or “less worthy” for not having a mate then, my friend, you have work to do on yourself….. the psychological kind. Get some perspective with a therapist or listen to audio books that deal with this.. You might start out with Dr. Wayne Dyer’s “Your Erroneous Zones.” It’s on You Tube.

kaajal · Accepted Answer

What is bad with being single? If anything you learn more about yourself. You have more time for yourself and the people around you. You can make more friends fun without being questionable. Being single doesn't necessarily mean being lonely, it might mean you enjoy your solitude. Similarly, being in a relationship doesn't always mean happiness. Some people are in relationships but still feel lonelier than people who are single, some are out of love but just bearing with it. Its better to be single if you aren't ready, in love and sure that you want to be committed.

Allie_Oops · Answer

Because we're created to mate and breed. Plus we have emotion we'd like to share with someone. Being single means no one finds you desirable. That's especially painful for women considering we're biologically designed to be desirable.

I hate being single. I feel like no one gets me, no one likes me, and no one will ever love me.

JudgmentDay · Answer

Misery loves company. When those that are in relationships and are miserable see that you don't share the same kind of misery or struggles that they have in their relationships, sometimes they are going to try to put you down for being single and feeling fine and free about it. Some people are simply assholes and just won't mind their own business. They're miserable because they have to deal with the drama, the troubles, the struggles and hard work that comes with their relationships, and when they see that you don't have to deal with any of those things simply because you have nobody to lose since you are always single, it must have got onto their nerves about it, especially if you're carefree and really don't give a fuck about relationships. And since people that are single and don't give a fuck about relationships don't have to worry about the same things like they do as they would have much more to worry about, including worries that their partner, spouse, or significant other may be unhappy and cheating on them, etc., and then there's always those that got family and kids, and sometimes people just are going to be assholes to others that don't conform to whatever the fuck they believe everyone in society must conform to, simply because they don't get differences and aren't willing accept differences. In other words, relationships, having a family with kids, etc., simply just aren't for every single person on the planet, but there will be people that simply just don't get that, and when they see someone that isn't like that, they think they are some kind of weirdo, freak, etc.

bradm · Answer

The lack of a partner used to be a matter of life or death for a childs life and/or quality of life. Naturally this inspires a symbiotic relationship that dates back to the days of pre human species. The modern deal with lack of a need for partners and/or partners that aren't necessarily procreating with using each other's DNA is similar to the need for the human 'pack'. As weak water bags our power comes not from our muscles or bodily defences, but from our brains and specifically how our brains function with others (human or otherwise) thus it is only natural for a social stigma to be placed upon those choosing to usurp our natural power and choosing to create power from themselves through the devices that modern society has created for itself (aka phones, market, healthcare, police, social structure) when we are even safe from the only possible threat remaining (ourselves) we begin to doubt the necessity for the social life. Thus we remain in our phones, isolate our friend groups into echo chambers, choose not to create life naturally, or choosing to avoid social norms entirely until the planetary population is decreased and economic problems begin to arise once again to break free from the simple tribalism that is created from the vast chain of events that occurs from that social structure being in decline. Considering the current level of overpopulation the earth is experiencing right now, due to lack of development and/or too much development, it is likely to be a simpler time to be single (considering that benefits the collective stability of nature in general) but until the entire system that initially created the need for partners, in any sence of the word, the stigma for those without will continue. Unfortunately, i fear that idea would be the end of humans as a dominate force, so its generally not what I aspire to.

Tl;dr its nature fam, duh

daynamariex · Answer

It is? I loved being single, never felt like anyone looked down on me because of my relationship status. Maybe it's a guy/girl thing. I feel like single girls come across as independent and intelligent. But I don't look down on single guys, the only way relationship status would affect my opinion on someone is how they act about it. I look down on the single guys that claim to be single because they're the 'nice guys' when in fact it's usually because they're so sexually frustrated that they come across as desparate and rude which are two major turn offs. Being single is great. Nothing wrong with it.

Margillard · Answer

Being single is not looked down apon at all! Just the sign of the times. The divorce rate is 90% in some demographics.
Most divorces are initiated by women. Men are the losers in divorce court.
Intelligent men have weighed the cost/benefit analysis of marriage and it is severely in deficit for men... it is financial and emotional suicide even at a 50% divorce rate.
What businessman would sign any kind of contract with those odds stacked against him? Only a fool would dare.

BanananaWizard47 · Answer

I don't think it's necessarily looked down upon. I think a lot of people who are already married understand why being together with a loving wife and perhaps family is the best situation life can give you.

Being single can be lonely sometimes, but surely it has its benefits. The thing about marriage though, is when you find someone who makes you feel more free and happy than you were when single, then you've found the most perfect marriage you could want with a special someone else. As for what goes on during marriage, you learn to understand the other person more, and never stop learning about who they are, and love them for who they become as life progresses. Clarity, Compromising, plenty of time to be close, plenty of sex, and a commitment to each other's needs, us the ultimate recipe for a loving relationship.

sonnypie · Answer

Its, as most have already pointed out, because of social norms that connect us as humans. If you do not drink whil others around ypu are drinking, you will be looked down on. If everyone bullies a kid, except you, you will be looked down upon or even bullied as you do not join in the social hierarchy. If you do not go to church in an area where everyone is christian, its the same thing. It's never okey, but we are social beings. One might think that you lack empathy/sympathy or just the social ability to connect with another on a deeper level, and therefore judge you on being single. But i just want to say again; its not okey, but we are able to understand it. Therefore i guess we can do something about it? I guess the problems start arise when there are research that say you might miss out on vital humanity when choosing to be single. I don't know if this research exists, but it probably will at some point.

Anyway, at most of our ages, I wouldn't really think about it at all.

Женнй · Answer

Simply because LIFE IS ABOUT finding someone to mate with and working the rest of your life to provide for the family you will have with that person... doesn't matter what you do, famous, or not famous , a lot of money or a little bit of money, if you're a human or an animal... etc etc... life is about finding someone and procreating.. working to maintain whatever it is you made with that other being. That's LIFE! so by nature, people who have already found someone, awkwardly view those that haven't, as failures... in a sense...

404notfound · Answer

mmmh depends
If you are someone sexually active, who's never commited to someone, some people may perceive it as being immature and a heartbreaker

If you are older and still single without ever being in a relationship, people think it's weird

but what do I know, i've never been in a meaningful relationship with someone and I dont feel bad about it

johanmdsn · Answer

Because in a society which views love and companionship as important goal in life and which is dependant on how others perceive you being in a relationship is important. I think that bs that singles should be looked down upon. You don't need a s/o to make you feel accomplished and life isn't about finding the love of your life but making a change. Of course it would be nice to be in a relationship but tbh its just the shallow view of society.

haveyouseenmyhw · Answer

Well, people assume everyone wants to be in a relationship because we are supposed to be that way. So if your single, something is preventing you from having a relationship. people assume it's a personal problem (maybe she's weird, has problems, people can't put up with her, lazy, has no life... list goes on) and they think your unable to have a relationship, thus you stay single. Being single is also associated with loneliness, ugliness, joylessness, and other unpleasant characteristics.

But it all goes back to assumptions people have, natural judgements people make without themselves even being aware they're doing it.

HiImDani · Answer

I think it also depends on age. People look at you differently when you're single at 20 than when you're still single in 30. They still think the main purpose of adulthood is to get married and have kids and if you don't do this, you are weird. But that is a generation issue. Our parents grew up in different social situation. When I told my mom I'd rather have a puppy than a kid, she almost fainted hahah.

cgregg2010 · Answer

I personally don't look down on being single, but i know my mother fears that with me being single if she passes before i meet someone that I'll have to deal with it alone. I was single when my dad blew his brains out almost 3 years ago so if i got through that i think i can struggle through just about anything alone.

HOAAH · Answer

people always have an opinion.
ignore them
do yourself.
I was single until I was ready for marriage
and I chose the right guy at 24
the end of story

and how old are you?
my opinion is at 17 that is still too young and immature to really know what a real marriage/relationship is supposed to be like... and for you to focus on school.

see? Everyone has their own opinion on how to live life
I'm not an exception

grimtigress · Answer

though i myself can't relate; human's tend to crave interaction, and connection. i needed all the time i had alone before i got into my relationship, and still need it now in it. i like to know that, when i do feel up to socializing it's with someone i want and can freely talk to. so i mean i don't know, it's seen sometimes as incompetent but i think it's a strength and good way to learn about yourself

PrincessSadie · Answer

tbh. it's not.
No one cares if you are or not in a relationship (and I mean that with respect) It is probably only you that is thinking to much into it.
Relationships are only popular because of Social Media.. and tbh all those pictures you see on Instagram and Snap.. are mainly staged to look that cute. just letting you know.

existing_not_living · Answer

It's not for me. I love being single. I love my boyfriend dearly, but if we were ever to break up I wouldn't be sad cause I was single again. I'd just be sad cause I wasn't with my boyfriend. Being single is great and should be cherished when you're young. A relationship restricts you from doing a lot of things you once did when single, so enjoy it while it lasts!

DizzyDesii · Answer

Its not if ur single by choice. But i mean, if u just can't get anybody... then yea people gone talk about u. doesn't mean u have to care tho

samsamfrench · Answer

Being single or without kids is being looked down because modern western society wants us to be a nuclear family ( wife husband and 2 kids ) when you are single you don't get yoghurt by the unit but more 4 of them at once. It s a typical example of how society tries to get you into the nuclear fa mile model. Anything that stands outside of this model isn't the norm hence looked down upon. If you are a couple but decide to not have kids people will wonder what s wrong with you... Other civilisation don't suffer this issue as they have adopted a different model.

Schnitzel · Answer

I'd say most people have been single so a lot know it is better to have someone who loves you. Not that being in any type of relationship is better than being single, some relationships are toxic. It's good to be single sometimes, or to have some alone time while in a relationship to appreciate what you've got.

1234lulu · Answer

Never. Not at all. In fact, some are like I wish I was single again.. etc but being in love is more beautiful.. but if the guy breaks up or anything, then you're prone to be sad.. so single is a win win situation. You are saved from the risk of emotionally​ drowning.

goprodude · Answer

Because TV and socal media push unrealistic expectations of what it means to be 'successful' and 'happy' and too many people go with the flow right over the waterfall, because it's not comfortable being different all the time. People need to stop giving a crap about celebrities opinions on every little thing.

AmanoYin · Answer

it's not, you just think it is because people around you also think it is...
they're not thinking for themselves... there are times to be single and time to be in a relationship... having a girlfriend or boyfriend just because everyone says you should is literally...
LITERALLY retarded

Anonymous · Answer

I’m 27 and single. No kids either! Am I okay with this? Yes. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes. But I mean I’m okay, it’s not like I’m dying to be with someone to the point where I will just settle with just anyone. But you know what I do notice? When my friends (who are all married with kids) ask me so when are you having kids or when are you gonna start dating someone I kinda feel like they are trying to tell me my time is running out to have kids... which does make me feel like shit /: lol

StephenCF · Answer

I don’t look down on people who are single, especially those who can have almost anyone they want at almost any time. I look down on myself however for being single all my life at 25 by force. I wish I at least had options if I was to be satisfied with single life... and I’d say that applies with everyone else too. Being single isn’t looked down on, it’s undesirability sadly

MMarina · Answer

They're jealous :P No but seriously, I guess maybe people don't understand how someone can be happy with being by themselves. For me it's the best thing ever! You get to work with yourself, learn who you are, please only your own needs...

pixie_xoxo · Answer

It's probably because society thrives on the idea of couples. Everything sells if couples are involved. Chocolate, jewellery, flowers, clothes etc. Everything. Advertising is focused on it. So now we think we need to be in relationships all the time.

AndromedaFar · Answer

Ugh, it shouldn't be. My parents, however, gives me crap because they want grandchildren and they know that, because of my faith, I won't have children until I'm married. They don't like having to wait

Ayer93 · Answer

Well it's not that it's looked down upon. It's just that for most (including myself), an ideal life is one that has love... someone to share experiences with... to laugh with, to converse with, to have sex with, to have a family and grow old with, etc. Being alone is depressing for most whether they admit it or not because we all desire that. It's hard to go against our instincts.

Ro-Tempest · Answer

Well "looked down upon" is a big saying, but it's genreally because of a few things. The main two been the feeling that your 'not able to get anyone' and the second been that familly is rated very highly so when you don't have a partner people will question it.

ConfusedGirl24 · Answer

I didn't know that singles are being looked down upon but if they did, it might be because people nowadays have nothing better to do than to be judgmental about other people who they don't even know. I am single since birth by the way

Anonymous · Answer

I think much of people’s perception that it’s looked down upon stems from being raised, ideally by a family, and if it was a single parent and your parents were divorced you were conditioned to feel it would of been better if they were together... that your friends with parents married had a superior family. So, I think part of it had to do with conditioning

1derfulguy · Answer

Because we are a species that reproduces sexually. In other words, if you aren't mating, a) sooner or later you will run out of time and your genetic legacy will be reduced, b) it could be because people are rejecting you, which may be a sign that you are not an attractive (in the broadest sense of the word) mate.

chrisv · Answer

There’s a general (incorrect) perception that you can’t be happy alone.. that unless you have a companion, you will be lonely and therefore, unhappy.

There’s also a social “norm” that says when you share your life and lie’s experiences, you ARE happy... and to a great extent that’s true.

LegateLanius · Answer

Companies make money on you being in a relationship
Parents wanting grand kids.
Couples feeling threatened by a "loan wolf".
Religious influence and attitudes about what sex should be about.
Social norms - What's popular is often pushed as the standard.
Desire by many women to have kids and be taken care of - That goes with marriage.

shanshaniii · Answer

Its just society thats put this idea in people's heads that you're not an accomplished person unless you're in a relationship, have a career and own your house.. blah blah blah. I think people need to stop judging other people and let them live their lives the way they want to.

Chrysis · Answer

Because people wrongly assume that no one is single by choice.

ats934 · Answer

That depends on if you're single by choice or not. If you are, it's not a bad thing, but if you're not single by choice, you'll view singleness as bad in your own life, which you will then project onto everyone else's singleness too.

Nico63 · Answer

It not looked upon it’s rather us as individuals don’t like to be alone. We crave attention from others and that love feeling... the notion of really being wanted and needed by somebody who wants to share your life x

FMJ_Guy · Answer

Who said so? I didn't get that memo, and I certainly would have SHREDDED it, if I had!! What's wrong with being single, and doing whatever you want?
Ask people in unhappy marriages about being single, and see what they say!!

RainbowDash_ · Answer

Not everybody pictures the view off being single upon down, being single means your strong enough to wait for what you deserve and it’s better then being in a false relationship.

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

In my honest opinion, I believe being single is the best! I'll rather be single than in a boring, unhappy relationship.

Some people just don't understand this and until you have someone, they won't let you be.

Ghost_Woof · Answer

Being single especially at an older age is a sign that you are not a compatible mate. That you have failed multiple times at relationships and that is a red flag to beware before involving yourself with a person like that.

joshctlee · Answer

It’s not looked down upon. In fact your friends who marry young and have kids young are bad decision makers. During the years of young adulthood. You will have many relationships of misconception. Meaning you think you love them but don’t or “fall out of love” so they say. Is it really wise to make those big decisions with somebody when both parties are still mature and developing? No. Wait as long as you can.

Uni247365 · Answer

Because most people are dependent instead of independent if you can live alone and figure you out then if anything ever should happen it be easier to accept someone into your life and be complete.

reixun · Answer

Being married is a capstone of adulthood. If you’re single, it’s as if you’re not fulfilling your purpose

virginbish · Answer

Because no loves themselves anymore, and we have no self worth

Anonymous · Answer

I am single and alwways had been single my whole entire life. I never had boyfriends or even date ever so I dont know what feels like having a boyfriend, but even though I like to be single it won't hurt me to at least try to experimen and experience t what it feels like to date someone.

anmari2001 · Answer

Because most people think that finding a partner, means you are succesful

cinderelli · Answer

I don't know.. but I don't care either.. I'm happy with my single life I can change this whenever I want but for real being single is very much less hectic than being in a relationship..

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think it's looked down upon, it just seems people can't understand how someone could be happy being single, probably because they themselves hate being alone so they think everyone else hates being alone too.

_JobiSan · Answer

It incites the thought that you can have long relationship and you're single for a reason or so society bullshit like that, don't force anything to fit in, specially to social standard to be taken

FE4R3D · Answer

I think the majority of people don't really care whether you're single or not. If anything they might just wonder if you're "lonely" or something like that.

danette03 · Answer

that`s avery good question probably the best i encountered so far here. i always wondered why , also , presuming people who ask are not arrogant and having a fabulous impression about themselves,

impalagurl67 · Answer

Because people fear and hate what they don't understand and no one really understands why people wanna be single

bubble_tea · Answer

I don't look down on single people. My guess is they think it speaks about their qualities to attract and keep someone.

martsa · Answer

I have seen this same problem :/ I am single by choice but many of my friends doesn't seem to approve it :(

HectorEctum · Answer

I think that sometimes people don't always realise that life is sometimes more about the journies than the destinations.
I've had many lovers but that doesn't mean I ended my journey each time I met them. I kept going.
So I guess that everyone wants life to be perfect but it's difficult to accept the imperfection required in getting there gurlfrien.

bigbang101 · Answer

Loneliness is good. People are more in control of their own lives... plus they have more time to think about other things. Women are a distraction... lol

RuneScimitar · Answer

The older you are and you're still single then people start to question if you're ever starting a family i guess

Why is being single looked down upon?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people look down on single people?

Why is being single looked down upon?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people look down on single people?

We're glad to see you liked this post.